CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY ASK MEME (nsfw obviously)
A defective condom: Do you want kids someday?
Unfathomable stupidity: What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said or done?
Getting into her pants, politely: How do you tend to flirt?
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents: Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?
Saxophone solos: What’s your guilty pleasure band/music genre?
Vigorous jazz hands: What’s something you get irrationally excited about?
A sad handjob: What’s the most awkward/funniest thing that’s happened to you during sex?
Insatiable bloodlust: Have you ever beaten someone up? If so, what for?
A 55-gallon drum of lube: What’s your weirdest, most shameful kink?
Mufasa’s death scene: What’s something that always makes you cry?
Drinking ten 5-Hour Energies to get fifty continuous hours of energy: What’s the longest continuous amount of time you’ve been awake?
A disappointing salad: What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?
Being nine years old: What were you like as a kid?
Some really fucked-up shit: What’s the most dickish thing you’ve ever done?
A cop who is also a dog: Have you ever been arrested? If so, why?
Changing a person’s mind with logic and facts: Have you ever actually managed to convince someone with stupid opinions to change their mind?
A zero-risk way to make $2000 from home: Have you ever fallen for what was, in hindsight, an obvious scam?
Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis: Would any of your partners, past or present, say you’re good in bed?
Gay thoughts: When did you really start to realize your sexual orientation?
Albert Einstein but if he had huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock: What’s a historical figure you truly admire?
Peeing into a girl’s butt to make a baby: How did you learn where babies come from?
Consensual, nonreproductive incest: Do you have any ships that Tumblr would hate you for?
Getting caught by the police and going to jail: Have you ever done time?
A sweaty, panting leather daddy: Have you ever actually had kinky sex?
Actually getting shot, for real: How do you want to go?
Bees?: Have you ever actually watched Bee Movie in its entirety?
The Abercrombie and Fitch lifestyle: Would Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way consider you a goth or a prep?
Actually getting shot, for real: How do you want to go?
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ellievsbear
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