Texts from Skyrim

Because people without electricity totally have cellphones

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Letter to a Main Character

Dear Protagonist,

Sorry. I just figured out your ending and, trust me- it's nothing personal. Maybe if you figure out how to become best buddies with a Shakespearean character (ahem Tempest) between now and then, a flick of the wrist will get you out of it, but currently, you're going out... er, not even in a body bag.

Seriously, I am sorry. Nothing personal. You're pretty cool. Everyone will really, really like you. Until you die. But I don't think even you can survive that. And if you did, it'd just be ridiculous. And even more than that, it'd be boring!

Should I put that on your tombstone? Oh, wait, nevermind, just remembered they don't have tombstones in your world. Sorry? I guess?

Love,

Your Writer

[textsfromskyrim-blog]

Some people have rat problems. Some people have cockroach problems. Illia has dragon problems.

Sorry it's been awhile! I'm having midterm bs right now and am way too busy with life! Yahoo!! (not) TfS queue should get filled this weekend and that'll be good. If I have enough time- and I probably will- maybe I'll be able to get enough that it's daily updates again? That'd be cool.

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Do you ever look at Skyrim and say to yourself

Why the actual fuck is this even a thing

Like

Why

Just why

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The Mad-God is at it. Again.

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Illia-ism of the day: One-hit KOs only count if you get the kill-cam. (This has been brought to you by the NSF, the National Sass Foundation, Skyrim chapter.) (I feel like the NSF should be a thing.)

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"To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world." (Freya Stark) YEAH GREAT UNLESS YOUR HANDS ARE BOUND AND IMPERIALS ARE CARTING YOU INTO HELGEN FOR YOUR FUCKING EXECUTION #perspectives

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When I'm a famous author I can't wait to go on tumblr and see people flipping the fuck out because I killed a minor character that I made them love after two lines and wanting my head on a platter when it's just like... you're gonna keep reading. I know you're gonna keep reading. Hate me all you want, you'll keep reading. And in some cases, rereading.

I'll also make like a really shitty blog and post random headcannons that are like actually true because I wrote the fucking story.

I can't wait.

[textsfromskyrim-blog]

Currently out searching for more glass. For the display cases.

Important things.

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Wanted to see if I vaguely googled this post on my phone how long it'd take to find it. Took five seconds. Gaiz. Seriously. That's cool.

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Lydia does not get paid enough for this shit. Actually Lydia doesn't get paid.

In other news I got out of the shower and was like "aw crap gotta tfs" and so I sat down and started working and that was when my roommate walked in and I'm just like... heyyyy... casually only wearing a towel here...

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If trees actually burned down, Skyrim would be barren from my accidental yol tor shuls. It's seriously amazing that this isn't a problem.

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Just got back from gay club

It was hella gay

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Ever have that problem with followers? Where you're just like stay. Over there. And then you're about to stealth assassinate someone and Cicero just runs in like HAIL SITHIS STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB and it's just like

This is why I don't bring you places.

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I wrote a bunch of drafts and don’t know where I put them #struggles

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wait shit nvmd they're on my phone I'm just a genius

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I wrote a bunch of drafts and don't know where I put them #struggles

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Hahahah funnnyyyyy

Threatening immortal beings always makes my day

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So when I was trying to make the most recent graphic I pressed a button or something and this happened

This looks like a scene out of a horror movie. AND IT WOULD NOT SHOCK ME IF A CERTAIN JESTER WAS INVOLVED.

Wanna go buy cool TfS stuff? Link. Here. You. Go. Now. http://www.redbubble.com/people/dovahkiinillia/shop

[textsfromskyrim-blog]

ohmigod gaiz

Possibly one of my favorite lines in the history of TfS. Cicero, complaining. AGAIN.

NOW IN THE STORE

YEAAAAA

http://www.redbubble.com/people/dovahkiinillia/shop