This colour is purple @th3purpl3 - Tumblr Blog

escuerzoresucitado

distantwave

tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot

mevil

justgivemeabookplease

Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

fitzchivalry

fangorn-forest

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

that-house

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

that-house

all of our trobles seem so small from up here

just-late-roman-republic-things

81 BCE. To meet the needs of Rome's growing empire, the dictator Sulla has expanded the roster of offices. The full list now reads as follows:

Ordinary magistrates

Consul

Proconsul

Conprosul

Censor (judges senators)

Scentser (judges perfume)

Urban Praetor

Foreign Praetor

Secret Praetor

Plebeian Tribune

Patrician Tribune

Chicago Tribune

Antitribune (reverses vetoes by shouting "OTEV")

Curule Aedile

Plebeian Aedile

Never Smile At A Croc Aedile

Quaestor

Jstor

Dux

Quax (created by dux; investigates fowl play)

That one guy who reminds you of people's names at parties

Extraordinary magistrates

Triumvir

Decemvir

Novemvir

Septemvir

Tetrarch

Petrarch (we're not sure how he got here)

Aardvarch

Dictator

Kilodictator (has the powers of 1,000 dictators combined)

Millidictator (has the power to choose your pizza toppings)

Master of Horse

Master of Morse …. . .-.. .--. -- -.-- - .. -- . -- .- -.-. …. .. -. . -… .-. --- -.- .

I Volunteer As Tribune

Interrex

Outerrex

Circumflex

Xrayspex

Religious Offices

Pontifex Maximus (Rome's top priest)

Pontifex Minimus (Rome's worst priest)

Augur

Sacred Chicken

Profane Chicken

Flamens Dialis (must be married)

Flaming Dialis (confirmed bachelor)

dog i gotta move like yesterday

tall

pukicho

If your friend starts making home made sour dough, it's too late, you will have to kill them

helicalsymmetry

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

helicalsymmetry

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'