Dear Julius,
(Yes, I will be putting you on blast because you did the unspeakable.)
I did not tell you to remove any evidence in the Forsakenbanjo Callout document, nor did you bother to communicate with me long after your departure! It also seems to haven't crossed your mind that I can simply undo and reestablish the last version of the doc, make a copy, and/or remove you from access!
Which is exactly what I did!
While you were removing your testimony, you also removed a lot of evidence towards Forsaken, so clearly you care more about yourself, than an active predator getting justice like the victims deserve!
Although, unsurprising, coming from you, lot of your interactions with me were conditional, two-faced, and insensitive when I allowed you to be in my server and overall be vulnerable with you and the community you and another often hurt!
Now, I did compromise by giving a slight edit to the bottom of the document that you are no longer associated with Toonix or I, but that doesn't mean you will be rid of consequences!
Hope you have a miserable day!
Imagine having to STEAL a document from a 16 year old research as a grown fucking adult š«© who happens to also be problematic yourself wanting to eat children. Genuinely fuck yourself and mind your own business, if a person doesnāt wanna be included by a whole bunch of drama then let them go itās not that deep?? āYou care more about yourself, than an active predator getting justice like the victims deserveā SHUT UUUUUPPP
AS IF YOU WERENāT HANGING OUT WITH MINORS THAT WERE 12-13 YOURSELF. my gooshhh you people do anything to be so obnoxious.
It's my doc actually
Firstly, there were more respectable ways to go about it as contacting me would have come to a more reasonable compromise, instead of altering my doc without my permission which wouldn't been such of an issue if it didn't remove a bunch of evidence against my groomer
So yes, I have a right to be deeply upset about that, admittedly I was triggered that night I wrote this due to many events happening and what was happening to me behind closed doors, so I won't entirely say all that anger come from Julius's actions alone
Secondly, my cannibalism does not automatically erase that I am a victim myself, nor do I explicitly want to eat kids
There's a very heavy distinction between actively being a predator and wanting to go after children and having thoughts and venting to oneself in their own safe space about said thoughts as a outlet
That kind of ignorant thinking is the reason why many victims are not treated with the care they deserve because they are not deemed "The perfect victim"
I also committed cannibalism when I was 6, it's a bit ignorant to think in any sense I could reverse that fact, but maybe you didn't see my response regarding any of this and have been blindly misled by the very same people (the ones who called me out) who were hurting me privately, whether they knew they were or not is a whole can of worms I don't need to get into right now
As to counter the fact I interact with minors, I only do it in a public setting such as servers as I do not feel comfortable myself to do so privately unless there is another adult/someone of closer age present.
This is for many reasons regarding my own trauma, but that doesn't mean interacting with minors should be inherently predatory, as you can have healthy relationships with younger people as long as you aren't breaking boundaries or being parasocial
Considering how much I have grown and researched regarding the topic, for me to simply exclude myself from analyzing one's behaviors would be hypocritical
I do my absolute best to be everything my idol/groomer wasn't every day and call out predatory & parasocial behaviors whenever I see it
I do not view myself as problematic since what I was called out for was my mental illness that doesn't affect anyone but myself mainly, since it mostly results into me hurting myself mentally or physically anyhow
The only interaction one could be affected is if I'm having an episode and I FEEL close enough to the individual to express my extreme distress, considering I do not feel safe to myself in the moment
Which I apologize for as I misunderstood how one (even at the same age as me) was able to handle a situation like that, and I'll continue to rely on myself from now on as I always end up having to do
Furthermore, it is very much deep, and I don't appreciate you minimizing my trauma and feeling justified simply because I'm not someone you believe deserves the same amount of care and respect as others do
Julius himself and many others have disrespected my trauma and my boundaries publicly in my own server previously, which is why I called the interactions we had conditional, two-faced, and insensitive as I've been insulted constantly during that time to the point I have actively cried and developed insecurity
Other server members as well hold similar sentiment regarding the interactions we've shared, and also their own experiences, yet I still defended him and his friends despite the lack of mutual care
Him being younger doesn't suddenly change the fact he still needs to take accountability, as so do many other people as well
Overall, this whole take of yours is just overall very immature and sanist in every form and hurts not just me, but a lot of people who struggle and/or victims from a situation and I hope you can grow from that
Fucking bullshit, Iām talking about the situation Julius had to handle for you because you couldnāt handle that Forsakenbanjo guy and act as if you were Oswald from QFTIM.
So what if you were committed to cannibalism at six how does that make it any better? No Iām not gonna trust an adult who has desires for meat, bloody stuff and wants to āeatā kids just because oh noooo that doesnāt sound weird at all, your words not mine. And yeah maybe this was from the people who called you out because at least those people are aware of how weird and irresponsible you are to have done SO many stupid shit whether it was serious or not, Personal or not nā much more vro.
Also āMINIMIZINGā your trauma?? Of course I donāt wanna get to know about your personal experiences and situations that arenāt any of my business Iāve NEVER even thought about making fun of something like that as a victim of myself. :/ fucking crazy of you to even assume that and accuse me of that when all I ever discussed was YOU cheating as a partner, your desires of meat and all your bad flaws about people and those you interacted with as well as your concerning takes which you didnāt even bother researching.
Iāve been š and SAāed as a young child and even as a teen with no justice at all against those horrible people who did that to me. And you donāt see me excusing my actions with my trauma and all of that crap. At YOUR big age what the fuck do you mean āand hurts not just me, but a lot of people who struggle and/or victimsā like dude grow up.
āAlso itās my docā NO the fuck it isnāt?? You yourself said āI can simply undo and reestablish the last version of the doc make a copy, and/or remove you from accessā
Now didnāt that tell you that they didnāt wanna be included at all and you just HAD to rant all of this down on your vent account too, why did him deleting and wanting to leave this all behind affect you so much huh??? Why donāt you make an actual doc yourself that doesnāt include copying and reposting it; giving yourself the credit and just MAKE one yourself?? Oh I know! Itās cause you canāt write anything good and reasonable takes like your āwhy do we have phobiasā opinions and more. A minor wanted nothing to do with you and you just dragged them back to your problems.
Do your own writing, evidence and research because if you donāt have any of that stuff and evidence it shows you didnāt show that much effort and care into the drama that was created in the first place. Easiest thing to do is just LEAVE US ALONE. my gosh, I hope you have a miserable day
"Julius had to handle for you because you couldnāt handle that Forsakenbanjo guy and act as if you were Oswald from QFTIM."
So.... Are we not going to acknowledge the elephant?
I asked Julius, he could of said no, and that would have been okay, because realistically all I asked (from what I can remember) was for him to correct and make my document more accessible, as I tend to ramble at the time and make spelling errors, and/or even make a testimony if he was comfortable considering his involvement regarding the alterhuman drama, least that was my intention
Again, he could have said no, and I would have asked someone else, or checked it myself
I did not force anyone to do anything and to automatically say it's because "I couldn't handle Forsakenbanjo" is extremely disgusting behavior
Because yeah.... I was scared. My groomer is a large content creator with a big following... He still terrifies me. I needed support from people because realistically I felt extremely hurt and alone, but I felt more safe knowing people were supporting me and having my back on the situation
Otherwise, I would have been more silent about the struggles I faced
You are making a reference to QFTIM which is extremely tone deaf to the situation as I am a victim of grooming. You're treating this situation like it's some game, which... most used to do, unfortunately.
Not to mention, you're strawmanning, I never said nobody could have boundaries in regarding to who they want to interact with, and I made that very clear in my doc that if you were uncomfortable with that information alone, then you had a right to leave
I'm not forcing anybody to stay, either by pity or fear, I rather them go and not have a relationship forced
You do not fully know what happened in closed doors regarding the ex-past relationships I had with friends and such, so you have no idea how hypocritical they truly are regarding all this, and their past harmful behaviors towards me, but realistically this isn't bout them right now, because that's between me and them
You say that you aren't minimizing my trauma but even if that's not your intention, you are. It's not an accusation, it's how it's presented to me, especially your new response worsening your tone
Also, I have never cheated, and I'm assuming A said I did, when A is extremely polyphobic, whether he admits it or not. I openly communicated to him about my newfound feelings for someone else while also still having feelings towards him, and realizing I couldn't stay closeted forever, and asked him what he wanted to do regarding that instance
Realistically, I am deeply sorry that I still hurt him, and I regret to this day, and feel I should have been more sympathetic to the situation, but I was also under a lot of stress as well during that situation as I was coming out to him, to my family, and also having to handle everyone's feelings at once
Does not justify that I have hurt him, and if I had the ability, I would apologize once again, as I have before, but I know I never cheated on him, and I deeply valued our relationship to the point where I even wanted to help him after breaking up
I can hurt people, that's something I know I'm capable of, and I hold myself accountable for that and grown as a person
I do not like that phrase "I'm a victim of *blank* so therefore *blank*" because not everyone is you, and you can still fall into sanist and ignorant behaviors.
I'm not using my trauma to justify anything, I am who I am, I ate someone, therefore I am a cannibal. It's a cause and effect that I have to live with daily. You don't know what that's like. The only people who can criticize that specifically if they are also someone who deals with my struggles and exact situation, until then, I don't think you have to say anything.
This all can be easily explained in my doc actually, as I already explained before about how I actively wanted help and was trying to get better even without access to help but this situation regarding the vents posted publicly ruined said mental health progress deeply
And yes, it is my doc. I hold ownership. It's not Julius's doc as it's not his groomer, not he holds ownership. I made the doc, and I gave him access to write. Nothing more.
I have done my own research and have actively done things, and I'm not going to repeat what I said in my first response regarding the removal of evidence and why it's wrong
Again, he could have reached out, and we could have compromised something, it's about courtesy
And frankly, I understand if you want me to "leave you alone" but you did respond to this doc with a reblog and comment, so you obviously wanted a response or reaction
That or to ridicule me without consequence
Overall, you only have insulted me this entire time, when even in the original post, I only criticize behaviors to this day
First of all your ass brought Julius back into this, the reason I stepped in because Iām tired of you bringing people into your mistakes like gosh fucking grow up.
Youāre disgusting in so many ways, I look forward to the day I never have to remember the guy who took āFelixāās name and made everything about himself just cause theyāre egotistical. I hope you have a miserable life
