Thanks, Captain Obvious

I'm Avery - I'm a tumblr addicted potato. var sc_project=11311468; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="6e35a525"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[thankscaptainobvious]

And this is why my mom is the best and even though we sometimes disagree, you'll never be able to convince me otherwise.

[cookii-whore]

[thankscaptainobvious]

Aaaaand after an emotional 5 am post to my mom, I chose to tell my brother and sister in law via Snapchat. I'm an adult, I swear.

[thankscaptainobvious]

my coming out message to my Mom (edited for privacy to remove names):

So, you know how K makes all those jokes about how I’m a lesbian?  It’s not just because he’s an asshole (although he has his moments).    He was apparently on to something.

I guess you can take this as me coming out of the metaphorical closet (because my actual closet doesn’t have doors *badumtissss*).  

No - I’m not a lesbian, but I am biromantic asexual which essentially means that I am not interested in ever having sex with anyone (regardless of if they are men or women - guess that’ll make it easier to answer when a doctor asks me if I’m pregnant), but do want to still be in a relationship with a person (man or woman, makes no difference to me, just so long as they aren’t a giant douchebag).   This shouldn’t really change anything at all, except.....well, nothing.  Nothing should change.   I don’t know if I would even be coming out now, but I realized that I can’t come to the defense of my gay, lesbian, whatever friends if I’m not even willing to be open and honest about myself - and I think you and I both know how I enjoy a good argument, so just not standing up in their defense just wasn’t going to happen.

I already know how I’m going to tell pretty much everyone except D, K, and Grandma - so I would ask that if you feel the need to tell anyone, you keep it to those three people for a day or two.

Aaaaand I expect things to be awkward because this is a pretty big revelation, for lack of a better word, so if we could just go about our days as per normal and have conversations about G being a douche or K being a cunt or even Z being the worst child on the face of the planet, that’d be aces.

.....

get it?   Aces?  Because I’m asexual?  Ha. puns.

No seriously, it’s 5:30 am and I’m tired and I’m nervous and yeah.  I guess if you have any questions about it, I can answer them but I think that about covers it.  

No sex, may eventually date a man and/or woman.  Yeah, that about sums it up.

[thankscaptainobvious]

My version of coming out to my Mom as a biromantic asexual is to send her a message via facebook messenger, even though she’s asleep in the next room because I’m 99% sure that I’d chicken out or cry or something if I had to tell her to her face and potentially deal with immense rejection.

*Cue panic*

[thankscaptainobvious]

(Another repost as my tags aren’t working - Any replies need to tag or respond to @pocketace )

I am not ashamed of who I am or who I am into romantically.  I figured that it’s as much a part of me as my eye color, height, and inability to handle intense situations without making at least one joke .  

I really want to come out to my family - but there’s also a part of me that’s like “This is literally none of your business.  I shouldn’t have to tell you anything” and doesn’t want to make things unnecessarily awkward.

My brother has joked for years that I’m a lesbian (I don’t even remember how it started honestly, probably because I’ve never openly dated anyone since freshman year of high school) and the urge to just snap back the next time and be like “and? You got a problem with that?” is very real.  I don’t think he or his wife would treat me any differently - though I can almost guarantee that my other brother and his ultra-religious wife would, but I don’t give a fuck as they don’t really like to acknowledge that I exist anyway since I don’t put up with their bullshit.

I mean, with my Mom it’d be a lot easier.  She and I have always been the type to write letters or emails to one another as we tend to not be able to get our thoughts out verbally.   I could just write her an email or something, give her links about asexuality and biromanticism and let her know that at the end of the day, nothing had to change between us.

I’m just scared, y’know? The unknown is terrifying.

[thankscaptainobvious]

(reposting here because my tags apparently aren’t working on my other account yet - If you reblog this, please tag @pocketace )

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“i don’t care if cishet aces, cishet aros, and every other entitled cishet feel left out by not being able to be in all of our spaces and events.“

That’s a comment that someone made on the “Everyone is valid” post I made on my other account.   It caught me off guard because it generally sounds like this line of thinking that heterosexual heteroromantics use to keep everyone else out of their spaces “I don’t care if gays, lesbians, etc. feel left out by not being able to be in our public spaces or events”

Like, I really don’t get it.  I’ve been told that we (we as in asexuals) are being kept out of the LGBT+ community because they need a safe space - which I respect and understand, to an extent.  

Do asexuals not need the same?

“Well, you benefit from the cishet rhetoric! You appear straight and face less hate from the straights™!!”

Here’s the thing, my sweet angel face:  Just because I can appear straight to the general public doesn’t mean that I want to.   I shouldn’t have to avoid walking down the street holding hands with a woman just to avoid getting my ass beat.  

Telling asexuals that they can “appear” to be straight to protect themselves is literally on par with someone telling a flamboyantly gay man that if he didn’t want to get attacked, he should tone it down.   Yeah, that might help reduce the risk of a violent attack, by why should that gay man have to hide part of who he is just to please other people?

Fuck. that.

Be you.  Let your freak flag fly.  

And, for the love of all that is holy and unholy, quit doing the very same thing to asexuals that the straights™ did to y’all that led to the creation of the LGBT+ community in the first place.

[pawnees]

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

Mood

[thankscaptainobvious]

This is literally just a blog for me to post about my sexuality (or lack thereof), my romantic...

Any further discussion regarding sexuality will be on a new sideblog on a separate account.

[thankscaptainobvious]

Goddamn, I really can’t believe Ace discourse™ is trying to make its rounds again.

Like, is letting people live their lives how they see fit such a fucking difficult concept?  

Let me make it clear for everyone (LGBT+ or Straight, idgaf)

Lesbians: Valid Gays: Valid Asexuals: Valid Aromantics: Valid CIShets: Valid

All Sexualities: Valid All Romantic Preferences: Valid

[coffee-desperado]

Honestly all the ace discourse probably did start with cishet aces and other aces who id only as ace. But now this discourse has moved on to literally hating everyone asexual/aromantic or relating to them. Trust me I would know. There’s also another important ace discourse fact I think should be mentioned more people shouldn’t have to give out/add to their ID to be valid in the first place. Asexual should be valid in itself.

[thankscaptainobvious]

I initially, upon realizing that I wasn’t heterosexual/heteroromantic, ID’d as bisexual as I wasn’t sure if the feelings I had were sexual or what; I just knew that I didn’t much care if a person was male or female as long as they were a good person (I didn’t know much about transgender/agender/anything - I come from a rural area where none of that is ever talked about).     The more I researched, the more I learned - and quickly realized that the term “bisexual” didn’t really fit me either.

For a long time, I have referred to myself as an Asexual Heteroromantic;  Asexual as I don’t have any desire to have partnered sex with anyone (when I even have feelings of a sexual nature, that is) and Heteroromantic because....well, I guess it all routes back to plain ass ignorance and being afraid to admit who I am and what I want out of life.   One of my most popular posts on tumblr to date is one in which I take on Ace discourse.  I’ve received so much hate from that post, been told that I don’t belong in the LGBT+ community, that I should just go ahead and kill myself for being “cishet scum”.  I was beginning to realize the kind of hate that the LGBT+ community received every day; One of the only differences is that I couldn’t even run back to the LGBT+ community for support, as they were the ones that had seemingly frozen me out for daring to be different - to love in a different manner than they saw fit (which just blows my damn mind because I always thought the LGBT movement was supposed to be about "inclusion!” - not “inclusion as long as you fit our perfect little mold”) All I knew at the time was that the community was rapidly becoming toxic and I wanted very little to do with it.

Right now, I’d say that I am an Asexual Biromantic, if that’s even the proper title.  I don’t feel the need to put a label on myself so much anymore, as there aren’t any that I feel adequately describe the wide facets that make me.....me.

[biphoenix]

somebody once told me the world was gonna

[pueda-deactivated20150517]

end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house

[lexiiii-vt]

i ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

[thebrooklyninenine]

Watching b99 comes with this weird crush on andy samberg that you never expected but just grows the more you watch it

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

find out your shitpost URL

birthday january: nut february: dong march: giraffe april: gogu may: anime june: jokes july: aaaaaaaaa august: police september: shit october: kinkshame november: kawaii december: fuck

first letter of first name a-c: smoker d-f: fucker g-i: succ j-m: puncher n-q: shamer r-u: phobe v: ender wxyz: eater

day of birthday 1-10: 69 11-20: 420 21-28: 666 29-31: 184847388467374

[hypnotic-flow]

IT'S 5 IN THE MORNINNNN

[thetakethecanyon]

Don’t start this…..

[hypnotic-flow]

AND IM UP HAVIN PHONE SEX WIT YOU, YOU

[zo-eek]

And now I’m on the hotliiii- ii- ine!! Over here lustin’ for you, you 😎

[staytrillswag]

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me!

[forreverloved-deactivated202201]

Let’s talk about bubbles in the tub, let’s talk about makin’ love

[yourstrulyxari]

Lets talk about you on top, or me goin’ down

[malikthaelite]

Said I wanna talk dirty to ya baby, on The HOTLINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[brandyh18]

If you didn’t sing this while reading it gtfoh

[khthalogreen]

Definitely sang this while reading it 😩

[plussizedhiiipy]

A Fucking Classic 😌👌

[aireyelle]

It’s in my head noooooooowwww

[neonprotagonist]

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

[hlahlahlahlahly]

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

[thankscaptainobvious]

As a Girl Scout who was not just a service unit delegate, but also earned the highest achievement of the Gold Award, I’d like to remind all scouts - past and present - that snitches get stitches we value loyalty and our duty to serve God and our country.

[illusionwaltz]

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

[batter666-deactivated20180822]

so everyone is aware, a lower score on this means a better score.

[thegaybeany]

I got a 30!!!!!!!! Yes!

[blinkingkills]

7, but i’m an art student so

[thankscaptainobvious]

I will take my 0 and be happy