WHATS UP FUCKERS

Hey. My name is Melody. 22 years old. I'm just a gal who likes rocks and funny stuff. My Snapchat is ukulelegirl24. Message me, I need Friends.

[rhaenyratargeryen]

JOHN MULANEY Stand-Up Monologue on October 31st 2020

[hype]

hype

[blackbearmagic]

my favorite Millennial Thing™ is when a group of us are standing around and talking and someone asks a question that no one knows the answer to and suddenly it’s a race to get out your phone and google it and be the first to know, and then someone starts reading the Wikipedia article about the thing aloud to everyone else, and what started as a casual conversation is now A Learning Opportunity and we all walk away a little more knowledgeable about a random topic

Like, Boomers hate when we do that, but I think it’s one of the best things about us.

So long as we have internet or a cell signal, all of the world’s collective knowledge is at our fingertips, and damned if we aren’t going to use it.

[happierthandignified]

My dad always get mad when I do this. He’s always like “We didn’t need to know.” That makes no sense to me. Why would that make me ignore my ability to learn something? I don’t always *need* to know but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pass up an opportunity to learn something new.

[ralfmaximus]

Why carry a supercomputer around in your pocket if you’re not gonna use it?

[slavery]

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

[pkslider]

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

[low-budget-mulan]

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

The hero we deserve

[lookskindadeadinside]

this glitch is making every funny post 10x funnier bc it looks like the text equivalent of when someone just stares at you silently after you make a joke

[angelchangsta]

I would have a LOT less anxiety about responding to emails if all email interactions were like this

[lmm-43]

I wanna wake up in 2008 watching Disney channel. Everything was simple back then.

[the-clown-wars]

Look at the size of that lamppost

[sneergone-deactivated20200129]

[wha-et-deactivated20210209]

POV: you just moved to a new country and an enthusiastic classmate walks you through the morning routine

[ruffboi-mags]

The children have gone feral and I love it.

[chuckletons]

just made the best non-looping gif i think

[chuckletons]

[chuckletons]

i said it was non-looping i'm sorry what am i supposed to say!!!!!!!

[redtextedquotes]

Everybody looking at this post

[dangerousvikings]

[danzai]

my last two brain cells

[rzrcrst-deactivated20200531]

[lakevida]

a lighter company trying to start a marketing campaign like how have YOU used your zippo lighter? #zippo and it backfires when everyone uses the hashtag to confess to unsolved arson cases and it turns out all of them are true and then lighters get cancelled and everyone gets back into using like a stick and a piece of flint to make fire because it’s more eco friendly because it’s harder to do arson with. i’m sincerely the highest i’ve ever been and this took a monumental effort to type. i love the art of short stories

[humansofnewyork]

“My husband got involved with a younger woman at work.  I was relaxed about it at first.  He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’  But then she got pregnant.  Luckily through the divorce process I had the opportunity to take over this shithole place with no heating, which I’ve turned into an art studio. And now I’m living my best life.  Everything is for sale except the pink chandelier and the dog.  Anyone is free to stop by at anytime.  You can eat or drink whatever you want.  All the young people in the neighborhood love me.  I’m the oldest person in our friend group.  Everyone else is in their twenties or thirties.  They call me Queen Mama.  I call them my adopted kids.  I always help them with their school projects and resumes and interviews.  I only ask one thing in return.  Each of them has to teach me one new thing every week: a piece of music, a trend, an idea.  Just so I can stay up to date.  Before you take the photograph, let me go inside and put on some make-up.  We were out until 2 AM last night.” (Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

[titenoute]

[alisonzai]

hi these are some pages from my thesis

[alisonzai]

U can now buy the full zine series !

[carrot-boi]

a silly little comic

[teradoration]

Oh my god ❤