[metfell]

And I hope when you look at me years down the line you say I was a faggot and slayed

[captain-price-returns]

[segamascott]

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

[beemovieerotica]

ok Tylenol photo drop

[reptiliannastyboy]

how much time does she spend licking your bald head

[beemovieerotica]

an incredibly long amount of time

[contemptible-scoundrel]

prototype jackk has been working tirelessly alongside applebloom, scootaloo, and the other one, to earn his cutie mark

[captain-price-returns]

Ngl "being so vapid and easy to influence that the neo-nazis and Israeli government are passing you back and forth" is quite a funny bit

[feldfrog]

(If I was at the roast of Kevin Hart)

Pete Davidson is here! Pete’s dated Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, EmRata, and many others

(Turn to Pete)

Hey Pete! All of those memories are now but ash in the sands of time

[fuckedelf]

I’m jerking a cum tribute to all tha victims of car crashes

[baejax-the-great]

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

[maruposting]

[bluesturngold]

[emberdothound]

[frontmansdefender]

[amygdalae]

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

[amygdalae]

your average cat hater: I don't like how they r bitchy and ignore me/ won't let me manhandle them

your average dog hater: I have been mortally endangered by an ill-trained dog

[diamantefangs]

[xeansicemane]

This is kinda ominous ngl

[vexwerewolf]

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[wherefore-whinnies]

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

[clockworkrobotic]

when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist

anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009

[important-cat-pics]