CaptainCorky

Yo. ✌🏻️

[bob-belcher]

[knitmeapony]

Mark Hamill goodnaturedly patting Chadwick Boseman on the shoulder to celebrate his success is one of the most blessed images I’ve ever seen.

[fuocogo]

This is the Money Chadwick. Reblog In 47 minutes to get 48 million dollars.

[xjessr]

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.

[taraljc]

“Ride or Die” also means that if he ever hits you, he dies, and you call your bff for a ride.

[firebirdeternal]

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another. 

[clotpolesonly]

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another.

[flavoracle]

I rarely criticize my wife, but when I do, it’s spoken directly to her, in private, and with love.

I don’t speak negatively about my wife to other people. Not because she’s perfect (which is an impossible and unfair standard) but because she deserves a husband she can trust. To say anything about my wife that I wouldn’t say to her face, would be a betrayal of that trust.

I never want her to spend a single moment worrying about the way I talk about her when she’s not around.

[smallmight-72]

A little louder

[flavoracle]

I RARELY CRITICIZE MY WIFE, BUT WHEN I DO, IT’S SPOKEN DIRECTLY TO HER, IN PRIVATE, AND WITH LOVE. 

I DON’T SPEAK NEGATIVELY ABOUT MY WIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE. NOT BECAUSE SHE’S PERFECT (WHICH IS AN IMPOSSIBLE AND UNFAIR STANDARD) BUT BECAUSE SHE DESERVES A HUSBAND SHE CAN TRUST. TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY WIFE THAT I WOULDN’T SAY TO HER FACE, WOULD BE A BETRAYAL OF THAT TRUST. 

I NEVER WANT HER TO SPEND A SINGLE MOMENT WORRYING ABOUT THE WAY I TALK ABOUT HER WHEN SHE’S NOT AROUND. 

(is that loud enough?) 

[littlewitchlingrowan]

Yes. Thank you.

[jenfluff]

I see a lot of people on my dash complain about their significant other. Maybe they should show that person this post.

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

[manasaysay]

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

I like your dad already

[charming-tothelast]

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

oh WOW

[babyanimalgifs]

Kitten thinks she is a dog after being raised by a Husky.

[bevismusson]

I know I’ve reblogged this before, but it makes me happy every time.

[thehappysorceress]

Same.

[silencewhippersnapper]

i bawled watching this

[nomercles]

I love that she’s raising a pack of puppycats now.

[reversewerewolf]

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

[dwarvesandrobots]

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

[reversewerewolf]

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

[blackness-by-your-side]

LMAO

[sushinfood]

i’m so happy for her

[warmbubbly]

I’m happy she’s back

[itschinyere-deactivated20200201]

Why is this funny to me? I need to grow up.

[theapatheticstag]

Lion King 2018

[terriamon]

mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*

me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*

[snorlaxatives]

that little chunk of chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick cone reblog if you agree

[paprika]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS

[skullcomplex-blog]

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[chaariss]

i really hope my wish comes true

[champagnepug]

my last two wishes came true, one more couldn’t hurt

[pradest]

SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works

[crazyskinnylove]

This is AMAZING i wished that I would get into South Korea and I did !!!!!!!!

[skullcomplex-blog]

~ Follow me ~: https://skullcomplex.tumblr.com

[zarohk]

I wish that someone would want to go to the concert with me.

[assume-a-virtue]

hey why the heck not I could use anything that makes me less anxious plz and thank u

[ashashi-corner]

Please

[noonewouldlisten25]

DO NOT FREAK OUT IF THE NET NEUTRALITY BILL IS PASSED ON THURSDAY.

Ajit Pai will still have to take this bill to court and defend it. That’s where the real battle begins.

DO NOT STOP FIGHTING. BUT ALSO DON’T WORK YOURSELF INTO  STATE OF PANIC FOR THURSDAY.

[randomslasher]

THIS IS IMPORTANT. 

This is where the real voices are heard. 

This is where our voices may really matter. 

Yes, if it passes Thursday, that will suck. But right now, Thursday’s vote is on the people who have largely been planning to do this no matter what we say. 

Please, PLEASE don’t stop fighting if Thursday goes the way it probably will. IT IS NOT OVER YET. 

[illmaticraj]

[kylebisc]

LOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL

[kant-deactivated20190908]

this is the worst thing ive ever seen in my life

[lightly-salted-lays]

I’m actually logging off. I am T I R E D

[carstaired]

have you ever tried to write a diary it’s freakin hard and all the movies lied ok

[emogyptian-deactivated20180909]

@ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened

[transhinsou-deactivated20181204]

if you think i’m gonna eat frozen toothpaste you are Mistaken 

[annberr-arts]

this forces me to believe that you’ve either never had mint ice cream or have never brushed your teeth

[theguineapig3]

I love the way online culture is slowly adopting a hieroglyphic-type system of words indicated by pictures. No, I’m not talking about emojis, I’m talking about the fact that I just saw a particular red-tinted image of Barack Obama’s eyes used in a conversation and read it as the words “then perish” with no hesitation.

[thatadult]

sending “I hope you get that job” vibes to the people out here tryna get jobs

[theeeprotagonist]

reblogging for yall bc the shit worked for me lol

[blkmedusa]

Karma will pop me if I don’t