[bambicest]

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

[shutyourmoustache]

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

[party-gilmore]

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

[babyjanedough]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[spoopyandtired]

ITS TIME

[literalliterature]

[Video description: A short clip from the show Make Some Noise. Erika Ishii, imitating Ebenezer Scrooge, points dramatically and yells, "You, boy! What day is it?" Brennan responds, "It's pride, bitch!" End description.]

[redbeardace]

[sunny-s1de-upp]

EVERYONE STAND FOR THE FAG 🫡🫡🫡

[sunny-s1de-upp]

FLAG FLAG I MEANT FLAG

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i'll stand for him too

🫡

[dragongirlbunny]

weed gummies are such a fake sounding concept like yeah if you eat this piece of candy and wait an hour you'll suddenly become very easily entertained and airheaded and cuddly

[somethingsomethingwizard]

willy wonka creation

[kurulover]

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

[kurulover]

[roboco-san]

the distortion of "there is potential profit we did not earn" as "there is money we lost" is fascinating and disgusting to me. "megamediaconglomerate lost $1,000,000,000 to piracy this year" is a flat out lie. it is not true. they did not have a billion dollars, that they now do not have. they felt entitled to one billion dollars, that they did not have, and still do not have. it's an infuriating perversion of the truth

[bananonbinary]

cant believe i lost $1000 when i told some guy at walmart to give it to me and he said no

[charlesoberonn]

One of my favorite scientific papers is Cyllage City COVID-19 Outbreak Linked to Zubat Consumption, which was published in March 2020 by the very real American Journal of Biomedical Science and Research.

That journal is one of many predatory "open-access" scientific journals that have no peer review process and let basically anybody publish their nonsense there for a fee. The paper was published as a trap to show how easy it is to get published by these kinds of predatory sham "science" journals.

The paper lists its co-authors as Nurse Joy, Prof. Elm, and Dr. Gregory House.

It cites papers such as "Make it Double: Coronavirus outbreak reaches Antarctica" by "J James" and "J Jessie" for "Rocket Science Monthly", and "Phobia of Bats and Its Applications in Criminal Justice" by "Wayne B" for "Gotham Forensics Quarterly", as well as real papers about fraudulent predatory journals.

[charlesoberonn]

"[...]To this literature we add a report from Cyllage City in the Kalos region, France,

[...] the outbreak is remarkable as no residents are known to have travelled to infected areas in recent months; however an unknown number of international visitors have passed through the city via the Connecting Cave east of the city linking to Routes 7 and 8 of the Kalos County highway network.

Epidemiologists believe it highly likely that a journal publishing this paper does not practice peer review and must therefore be predatory."

[vexheart]

[imviotrash]

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

[the-haiku-bot]

“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[bulbekuggeleh]

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

[synf3ll-moved]

take figures out of their boxes btw. sew patches on your favorite jacket. go to bed with your favorite plushes. wear the pants you usually save for special occasions. draw something cool on your wall. put a sticker on your laptop. dye your hair and pierce your lips. glass is meant to break, metal is meant to rust. items are meant to be used. that's how the world knows that somebody loved them.

[halibellecter]

When my aunt died of covid, we had to clean out a lot of stuff that she was saving. Foods she was going to try, she was a great chef, spices she'd never opened or only used sparingly, lotions and bath things she hadn't used. After she died I started making a point of using things up: the good vanilla that has to be imported, that we finally found more of, we'd used barely an ounce before she passed away. Even though we love it. I just got my family new bottles of it for Christmas because we used one up. We enjoyed that happiness. Sometimes I still get the impulse to wait for something special, or awful, to save nice things for celebration or comfort. The phrase that always echoes in my mind is "use the good vanilla". And I have been (burning the candles, squirting the body wash, dissolving the bath bombs, putting the saffron in things). And it's been great. Use the good vanilla.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Chaos is gonna win in the end the universe is flying apart Ain't nothing much we can do about it Burn up the candle or live in the dark Burn up the candle or live in the dark -Charming Disaster, "String Break Song"

[miss-mania]

I'm just pulling your chain. I mean yanking your leash. I mean jerking you off. uh I mean I'm just messing around with you,

[limitedmedicine]

【Rippi/リッピ】

fuzzy bugs series

w140×h130xd90mm

@shiba0607

[synthbug]

@crabussy

[demonius-darkblade]

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

[clayboy2000-deactivated20210427]

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

[violencevoyager-deactivated2022]

bugs bunny is not real 

[zvaigzdelasas]

[xylophonicsynapse]

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

[prokopetz]

As far as challenges for the widespread deployment of delivery robots go, I admit I wouldn't have predicted "drivers refusing to yield pedestrian right-of-way to uncrewed robots and running the stupid things over on purpose", but in retrospect it's both completely predictable and extremely funny.