Dₐₙᵢ @thatismylittleshadow - Tumblr Blog

this is the story of how det. chloe decker accidentally saves the life of mob boss lucifer morningstar au

(to be fair, she did not really know he was a mob boss then)

of course that means lucifer is now indebted to her and he takes that very, very seriously

which is really awkward because she is a cop and he is the kind of bad guy she is meant to be chasing but it doesn’t stop him from cheerfully making her life more difficult all the while evading custody

it starts when a guy harasses her on the street and conveniently gets taken out the next day (which she doesn’t actually realize was lucifer until much later but anyway)

then, some of the bad guys she is chasing randomly turn up at the precinct all tied up with colorful gift wraps and notes stuck to their foreheads that say “you’re welcome, detective”. now that’s a particularly fun one to explain to her bosses.

it kind of gets worse from there and chloe is very determined to put a stop to this but lucifer just outright refuses to meet with her (of course).

(sometimes, on a long day, he will send food and wine to her place. and sometimes, when the day particularly sucked, she will actually eat it).

at one point ella helpfully points out that it seems a bit much for a mob boss to do for someone who just saved his life once. chloe refuses to dwell on that for too long because it gives her a headache.

there’s a definite drop in mob-related murders though and more bad guys actually making it to trial.

the whole thing is still entirely problematic of course because he is a mob boss but he is also incredibly helpful sometimes in solving murders and getting other bad guys behind bars (including the ones in the police).

one day there are flowers on her doorstep and an invitation to dinner.

she tells herself she’s only going so she can arrest him.

but then, to her absolute horror, he is actually a lot different than she expected (she didn’t really get to talk to him much when she saved his life).

there are honest conversations and good wine and laughter and it’s the best non-date she’s had since her divorce.

with a freaking mob boss. what a mess.

(of course the mob boss thing comes up. he helpfully points out that he’s really more of a punisher than a murderer and hasn’t he helped them a lot recently?)

(she helpfully points out that this is not his job)

at the end of the non-date, he asks her if she would maybe consider having dinner with him again.

she thinks about saying no and calling her colleagues and having him arrested but then she thinks about half of them (including her ex) being corrupt as hell and all the criminals behind bars and the fact that she actually had a nice time with him tonight

(and that he promised he would try really hard not to kill anyone anymore, a promise which he (mostly) keeps)

so she says ‘yes’

the next day there are more flowers and one of the city’s most notorious drug-dealers all tied up with a bow on the precinct doorstep.

she smiles

boomer-mythology-destroyer

thewollfgang

Chloe singing Smash Mouth's song "I'm A Believer" to Lucifer in the car going to the precint after the whole reveal happens

This is cute, here have some fic.

Lucifer has got the top down so that the wind rushes by and the sun is shining down on them and everything seems ridiculously, idyllically, perfect.

Chloe had changed the radio station from Lucifer’s classic rock to something with a little more variety and that’s when a familiar beat starts up.

Lucifer’s fingers tap along for the first verse as Chloe throws her head back and sings. Then, with mischief sparking in her eyes, starts in on the chorus, slightly altered.

“And then I saw your face. Now I’m a believer!” And then she breaks down into laughter.

Realizing what she means, Lucifer gives her a mock look of disdain, but he’s unable to hold it in the face of her happiness, a grin spreading slowly across his mouth. He shakes his head a bit, but joins her in singing, “I’m in love, and I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried.”

wexii

myreyisbae

Lucifer (2016)

Lucifer Morningstar & Chloe Decker

🎮: Tomodachi life living the dream

Miis created by me

foodat88

hickeywiththegoodhair

“why are you, as someone in their 30s, still on tumblr” oh so you think you’re gonna be normal when you’re my age? you think you’re gonna be CURED?? you think the witches’ curse will have been lifted by then?? cmon now

vampandvisiongirl

the comments on this are top fucking notch.

snowbairdd

No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers… You get it? We both have layers.

SHREK (2001) dir. Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson

nonalectos

Gay Ogling by Francine Joy Fine S03E01: Pen Pals

orbitingrook

sadhoc

first year in fandom: omg i love these characters.... and the story's so well written.... so much cool fanart and fic, i think i'm going to write some of my own

eleventh year in fandom: au where the character is a little jingle bell for sale on ebay for 8.99

xostargirlox

anchovy

Artist

milanesa42

lucifergifs

I get it. It’s a lot. But if it’s any comfort, Lucifer’s crazy about you. And you know that. And you’re crazy about him. So I think you should just trust that whatever challenges life throws at you, you’re gonna figure it out.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I'm assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

cuprohastes

The assumption that every single business, or service, is owed your personal data, and should be able to track you and mercilessly spam you and monetise the ability to sell off your contact details and so on it’s absolutely deranged.

I have flashlights that are borderline unusable because, while the hardware is fine, the company that made them (hello OLight!) demands that you install and login to the storefront before you can access the configuration software.

But they don’t actively maintain the software or provide any of the new utilities that they promise. They are mostly using it as a way to turn off functional hardware to try and force you to upgrade.

We are living in a society where you can pay for something and the manufacturer can turn it off because they’ve decided that you’ve owned it too long .

I’ve just had to warn my family not to buy electronic door locks because the chances are, if they are Internet connected they will be disabled once the company that owns them has decided that they’re not making enough money charging you a monthly fee to open your own front door.

This is part of an ongoing trend to turn money into something that is no longer usable by everybody .

The eventual aim is to be able to pay people company scrip: If you lose your job, or badmouth the company, or disagree with the dictator, they severely curtail what you are allowed to buy, and from who.

And at that point, you have to pick sides – do you want to be able to have drinking water from Coca-Cola, or Pepsi, and whose package allows you to buy Doritos, and use your smart oven to cook food? Because it won’t turn on unless you use the app to scan the appropriate barcode from the company who now owns your ability to eat drink, heat your home, and wear clothes from brands that they approve.

And if you think that Bezos wouldn’t do that or run his own ghetto where employees have to use Amazon brands and be paid in Amazon money… You haven’t been paying attention to what he’s been building lately.