Hexereii

🏳️‍⚧️ he/him 🏳️‍🌈 50% gay uncle, 50% slavic grandmother 💚💙💙💚 cw: I talk about my life here, which will include mentions of mental health issues, former alcohol and drug use, sex, grief, and other adult topics. Not intended for people under 18. ▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎ clinically obsessed with Victor von Doom, long-time doomreed shipper, occassional writer, massive comic book nerd, queer of Romani heritage, fond of small dogs

[lexdelioncourt]

Whenever I see a post about how awful and stupid and out of character domestic devil's minion is I take serious psychic damage. The world sucks ass, let me have my toxic vampires being sweet for once. Let me live, damn.

But also, do we forget that they're like one of the most domestic couples in TVC? They're basically married for years, come on. Yeah, they're fucked up, but they have so many tender moments, and because the show has only given us episode 2.5 and a throwaway comment about "spite" so far, half the fandom thinks they're just 24/7 puppyplay and psychosexual torture. If that's what you like in your fics, fine, I enjoy a good fucked-up DM fic myself! And yeah, they do fucked up shit FOR SURE, but there's also soooooo much more to them.

I so desperately need the show to give us some tender moments with them so I can crack my popcorn open and start giggling and kicking my feet.

But regardless of any of this, THIS IS FANDOM!! PEOPLE ARE GONNA INTERPRET THINGS DIFFERENTLY TO YOU AND WRITE IN VARIED WAYS. LET PEOPLE LIVE. I've never seen fic policing like I've seen from some corners of this fandom, I swear to god.

I'm so sorry, I swear I go on this rant once a month. Anyway, go read something by @hummingbee-o0o, @graygiantess or @irisbleufic (or me 🥺) to get your domestic devil's minion juice. Meanwhile, I'M OFF TO WRITE THEM GOING TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK AND MAKING OUT TENDERLY ON THE FERRIS WHEEL *BLOWS RASPBERRY*

[lexdelioncourt]

Book Canon Things That Armand and Daniel Did That Domestic Devil's Minion Authors Did Not Simply Pull From Their Ass

Daniel realising he's a goner when he hears Armand laugh for the first time.

Armand telepathically warns Daniel to get out of a B&B, he does, and it burns down shortly after. Literally saves his life and they're still in the chase era.

Armand showering Daniel and shaving Daniel's face when he was too sleepy to do it himself.

Armand dressing Daniel up like he's his own personal doll.

Snuggling and watching movies together including Blade Runner and Time Bandits. Armand whispering comments to Daniel during it.

"Adopted" a young dancer together and paid their way through school.

Argue about finances.

Armand bitching about his ex (Louis).

Mounted telescopes on the rooves of their shared homes so they could study astronomy.

When Daniel got arrested Armand dressed up like his lawyer (three kids in a trenchcoat style) and bailed him out.

Went to boxing matches, concerts and Broadway shows together.

The blenders, the microwaves, the calling Paris... All book canon.

Armand drags Daniel around the streets of NYC so they can interview people (yes my DOMESTIC microfic "The Hashtag" is adapted from book canon).

Daniel wakes up crying one night because he was dreaming about Armand and when he woke up he wasn't there.

Armand has a pirate era where he accumulates a bunch of wealth and buys Daniel everything he could possibly want (that's his sugarbaby).

Armand buys him the Night Island and builds their villa, modelling it after the Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii where they first shared the blood.

Sat on stoops to chat with the neighbours.

They kiss and snuggle A LOT. They tell each other they love each other. Armand's go to pet name for Daniel is "BELOVED" for gods sake???!!!!

Dressed up as gay sailors for Halloween.

Live together.

Travel the world together.

When Armand finally turns him (which he only does because Daniel is going to die and Armand can't bear to lose him), he makes sure Daniel is all bathed and shaven, and he's dressed like it's a funeral and he projects to Daniel a vision of a beautiful garden to make it nice for him.

[doctordaemon]

*and possibly most important of all, when they go to Lestat’s concert, Daniel hooks his fingers through Armand’s belt so they don’t get separated in the crowd

[lexdelioncourt]

HOW COULD I FAIL TO MENTION THE BELT THING?????

[thatnerdhex]

Table tilt and autonomic function tests in one week. My birthday's in two. Today, I'm refusing to be sad over having to give up my car because I am genuinely unsafe behind the wheel. I've nearly fainted twice, while driving. And any sudden spike of adrenaline is currently dangerous for me.

The core issue is neurological, my brain can't reliably pace my heart activity right now, we don't yet know why, but due to the heart defect I was born with, the point of failure is cardiac.

I'm managing because I'm too fucking stubborn to do otherwise. Looking at a family history that says I shouldn't start any new long-term projects but also just refusing to believe I won't get my life back. I've gotten sick before, this is not new to me. I've always recovered (knock on wood) just through being stubborn as fuck. I'm currently refusing to accept that you can't defeat a systemic health failure through sheer determination. We'll see how I feel after the next tests are done.

I fucking hate everything about this.

[malewifesband]

its always helpful imo to remember theres a cis person with whatever problem you have as a trans person 9/10 times. theres a cis man as short as you, a cis woman as tall as you, with hands and feet as big or small as yours. theres a cis woman scared to go out without shaving twice a day, theres a cis man whos upset bc he will never grow a beard. theres a cis woman who worries her infertility makes her less of a woman, and theres a cis man feeling similarly about his lack of potency. theres cis women who dilate and cis men with phalloplasty. theres a cis man scared that painting his nails will make people think hes not really a man and a cis woman whos exhausted with spending hours grooming just so people treat her like she wants to be treated as a woman. they dont put it in the terms we do but theyre worried that these problems make them inadequate at the gender they want people to see them as. our patriarchal system has made the boxes were supposed to fit into so small and you arent alone in not fitting it--nobody really fits

[anarchistmemedistro]

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[charlotte-sea]

Our patriarchal system has made the boxes so small that no one fits, and our capitalistic system sells us razor blades so we can cut ourselves into pieces to fit.

[corviiids]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[lastoneout]

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

[sashayed]

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

[boomstab-papa]

[your-cosmic-creature]

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

[rohirric-hunter]

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

[edgar-allan-possum]

Why is that?

[rohirric-hunter]

Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.

The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.

The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.

The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.

The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.

The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.

The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.

The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.

The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.

[lew-basnight]

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

A story I once heard from a guy who specialised in security testing for IT. They had been hired to test out the security of the company, and one of the things they were testing was whether they could physically get secure data out of the building.

The guy walked in with a trolley with a wobbly wheel, loaded half a dozen computers onto the trolley so that they were unstable, and walked up to the main security door. At which point, the trolley wobbled and there was an avalanche of computers. The security guard helped him load the computers back onto the trolley and then held the door open for him as he walked out with six computers loaded with company secrets.

[milligramspoison]

HAPPY FOURTH OF FUCKING JULY

[staticbluue]

“People should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.” “Isn’t it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?” “I’ll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.” “Autistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.” “I don’t want AMABs in my space because they’re dangerous.” “You shouldn’t have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.” “Anyone who does something that awful isn’t human.” “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

[skies-diary]

I've seen a lot of people in the comments saying people needing to pass a test to have kids is a good idea, but I don't think they understand what that means. The US government used to take Indigenous children from their parents for reasons as asinine as grandparents living in the home (called "overcrowded environment") or using only their native language at home instead of English (because it "failed to prepare" children for a world where English is the dominant langauge).

Children placed in residental schools were abused, murdered, and sold into arranged marriages with white men. More recently, children "adopted" out into white households are often also subjected to the same, as well as forcibly converted to Christianity.

The most effective way to protect children in the country is to give them rights to ensure their safety, autonomy and dignity. Eugenics and laws to control reproduction will not do that. Crafting legislation with the help of child wellness experts is a better choice.

[skies-diary]

I should add - the US government STILL disproportionately targets Indigenous families for child welfare checks. ICWA is supposed to protect against this but is unevenly enforced, and there's even talk of overturning it. Protect ICWA and Indigenous children.

[oatmealdiva]

t’es woke toi 😦🫵 toi t’es un woke left😔🙄 tu supporte les trans pis les pronoms toi 🤨🏳️‍⚧️ veux-tu savoir mes pronoms? 🥱🔥 mes pronoms? 😳😤 que/bec. fran/çais. bar/be/que. go/habs/go.🍁🏒 bleu pis rose 💙🌹 toi c’est quoi tes pronoms? vas-y. dis moj tes pronoms?🧐😪 joe/bi/den? ru/paul? 🤭😒 j’vas prier pour toi 🫤🙏

[parkayquarts]

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

[parkayquarts]

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

[redstonedust]

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[ittybittybumblebee]

bigs my eyes

[ittybittybumblebee]

bigs my eyes at you

[ittybittybumblebee]

bigs my beautious my gorgeous eyeballs

[enderbones]

[bumblebeebats]

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

[mercaroni]

Doomcat

By: PureSpiritFlower

[depsidase]