ScreamHoney

I crave validation and love. Mostly post Star Wars Clone Wars shit! I am an adult with a mortgage and a wife ;3

[ryehouses]

do you ever accidentally set out to edit something and end up adding 2,300 new, extra words

[corrieweek]

A New Guest?

❤️🌟 Hello Troopers!

Guess who’s back once again for our 3rd year! Crazy how fast we’ve gotten here and we are so excited to host it again! I know I’ve said this before, but it is truly wonderful how so many people participated in last year’s Corrie week. There is so much talent and skill out in the world and we hope you can join us once again❤️

We’re starting a bit earlier than last year and we now have prompt submissions open! With this we would love to poll your ideas in sooner, and if you’ll be joining us, allow for any preparations, clarifications, and questions to be cleared up well before the event week. (Our Ask box should be open and working now!)❤️

The dates for this year will be October 4th to October 10th

As always- we know October is a busy season for creatives so please if you can join in during the week we would love to have you! If you can’t though don’t be discouraged, we always take submissions past the event’s end. Just make sure to tag this blog and use our yearly tags!

#corrieweek2026 #coruscantguardweek2026

I won’t keep you for much longer so if you have any ideas please send them in! We would love to hear all the wonderful thoughts going around in that head of yours🌟

2026 Corrie Week Prompt Submissions!

It's that time again, friends! Coruscant Guard Appreciation Week (Corrie Week) will soon be upon us - Oct 3rd to Oct 10th!! This is the pr

P.s. Hmmm…I do wonder who Sweet Cheeks is talking to?

Interest Poll

I would love to join this mission!

Ah…I might not be able to join. Let me see how it works out!

Going dark, I can’t join this time

Is this poll necessary or is it a tradition now?

Voting ended onJul 11

[asynca]

Write that one-shot. Those 3 chapters will be the best 10 chapters you ever wrote

[thatonefanficwriternooneknows]

Okay I need some help.

I’m planning out my clone bang fic (shocker) and I’m trying to decide how to format it.

Would yall rather read a fic with PoV from everyone in a single chapter, or a chapter with a single PoV?

So the fic takes place over a week, and I’m planning to focus on 6 different pairings. Would you rather read Chapter 1 = Day 1 for all the pairings or Chapter 1 = all 7 days for one pairing?

When I came up with the idea, I was planning on the latter, but would the former read better?

Help 🥹

[clonebang]

Masterpost | Rules & FAQ | Schedule | Ask

Sign Ups for Clone Bang 2026 are open!

The Clone Bang is a Star Wars-themed big bang focused on the clones. It is low-pressure and open to all! We welcome all stories as long as at least one clone is the focus.

Writer, Beta, Artist and Pinch Hitter sign ups are currently open ✨

WRITER SIGN UP FORM 🔗 Open until June 23.

ARTIST SIGN UP FORM 🔗 Open until June 30.

BETA SIGN UP FORM 🔗 Open until June 30.

PINCH HITTER SIGN UP FORM🔗 Open indefinitely.

If you want to know more about the event, check out our rules & FAQ and detailed schedule (you can find all the links in our Masterpost).

Please reblog this post and help us spread the word!

Tagging @swfandomevents, @clonefandomevents, @faneventshub, @eventfeed, @thebigbangblogproject

[thatonefanficwriternooneknows]

Hello to any and all who may still be here! I have a present for you!!

BEHOLD

A new chapter of How to Care for Your Corries :D

Anyway 👀

Love you all <3 <3

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

______________________________________________________________

That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy - Chapter 11 - Amity_Ax - Star Wars - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

ARCHIVEOFOUROWN.ORG

______________________________________________________________

“Ooo, indecent stuff, huh?” Vos practically salivated like a nexu spotting an injured hiker in the woods. “Tell me more. Did you imagine us when we were…” Vos cupped a hand to his mouth to hide a blatant stage-whisper. “K-wording?”

Skywalker slowly turned to Vos, pure murder etched into the furrow of his brow. “The Force as my witness, I will kill you someday.”

[aceraylo]

“Hello Cody, it’s nice to see you”

This is a scene from one of my favorite Fox fics of all time, “It Was Only A Matter Of Time” by Anonymous, which I highly recommend if you haven’t read it :D

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

Fox in Ch10 of That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved the Galaxy by me :)

ALSO I found this lovely Obi-Wan art here on Tumblr, it is by @skeletons-eat :)

[zinnathe]

My favorite scene so far from That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy by @amityahasfanartnowapparently <3 Chapter 10 went up last week, go check it out!

[puskiskis]

Commander Fox's big naturals

I almost fainted when I realized that this That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy by @amityahasfanartnowapparently had been updated :,) This fic just keeps hitting me in the face with a brick after every other sentence. One moment i'm laughing my head off and the next i'm on the edge of despair because these fucking characters are so sweet and make me so sad. please go read it if you haven't yet!

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wow, thanks so much for the fanart, your art is INCREDIBLE! And I love that "does his head look small" bit, that's hilarious. I'm going to go jump around in happiness now :)

[ifeveristoday]

Be prepared to get comments like "Your hair is so pretty. You wrote her hair so pretty. Why is she so pretty?" And "Your writing is so good. I can really tell what he's saying and oh he smells so nice. That's a cool looking bag. Your beta has awesome shoes I bet. What's her name?"

Let the endless compliment cycle begin.

[fieldbears]

I’m so into this

[fieldbears]

It's five years later, I just saw this pop up on my feed, and I'm still so into this

[foxquinweek]

One month to FoxQuin week!

Posting dates are January 5-11, 2026.

How are we feeling? Is panic setting in? Excited?

Writing prompts here

Quote prompts here

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy - Chapter 10- Amity Ax - (SNEAK PEAK PART 5, NOT DEFINITIVE)

Hello! I am in deep Silksonging it up rn, so my writing has, uh, not progressed much lately. I still fully plan to finish when my gaming hyperfixation moves on tho!

In the meantime, enjoy part 5 of a sneak peak! This is the end of the section I have semi-fully thought out, so there might not be any more sneak peaks after this for a good while--or there might be, who knows!

Anyway, enjoy part 5 under the cut below!

“See?” Quinlan grinned wide. “Problem solved!”

In the privacy of his helmet, Fox returned Vos’ shit-eating grin. “I guess if it’s not going to be that big of a problem, we don’t need to discuss it further.”

Quinlan raised a brow. “Oh sure, pull the other one. I can tell you’re not satisfied with that.”

Vos was right, of course, who the fuck was Fox fooling. He wanted to know himself, obviously. Certainty was a hell of a drug.

The Jedi smiled smugly as he sensed the Commander’s agreement. “You got a datapad with holonet access on you? There’s much easier ways to check that kind of thing then cards.”

Obligingly, Fox handed over his small burner datapad, letting Vos type away into a public search engine. The Jedi’s tongue peaked out in concentration, opening an obscene amount of tabs that had Fox despairing for the device’s RAM.

“So here’s what’s going to happen,” Vos explained tapping his last few selections into existence. “I’m going to show you a series of images, and you’re going to decide if you’d want to do any of the following with the people in them: a handshake, a hug, a kiss, share a room with them, or, y’know, kark them.”

“Sounds logical enough,” Fox nodded in approval. “Hit me with it.”

He suppressed the tendril of shame creeping into his chest at his earlier fears. Vos hadn’t even known what he was asking, and when he learned, he pulled out a relatively comprehensive testing schema on short notice that Fox was honestly a little disappointed he hadn’t though of himself, even if he wouldn’t have known where to start with sourcing a wide pool of images. Vos was helpful, and very dedicated to his non-clone abusing religion, and not a Senator, for kriff’s sake. 

Vos revealed the first candidate with a showy twist of the wrist, and—

“—Oh, not this kriffing guy again!” Fox threw his hands up to the sky, restraining himself from violently chucking the image into the Supergiant Blackhole at the center of the galaxy.

“What?” Vos doublechecked the picture of a younger Obi-Wan Karking Kenobi on the datapad for offensive content. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” Fox jabbed a finger at the practically naked ginger. “I’ve had enough of him!” 

“Hey, I’ll have you know this is a great picture,” Vos presented General Kenobi’s nearly nude body with pride. “Look at the dynamic warm lighting, the tastefully draped sheets—this was one of his best looks!”

“I don’t care about the composition of the shot, you jackass,” Fox hissed. “Every clone I’ve spoken to about this wants to rail this man like a karking stairwell!”

“And how many’s that?” Vos raised a brow.

“…Two.” Fox admitted grudgingly. “But the point is I’m sick of it!”

“Fair enough,” Quinlan shrugged. “But would you kark him?”

“How is everybody asking me that?” Fox muttered bitterly. “He’s a High General, of course I wouldn’t kark him!”

“But he’s not a fancy-schmancy General in this,” Vos wiggled the datapad in his face. “He’s just a regular Jedi Knight. No war, no command structure. He was just—a guy. Would you, at all, make physical contact with the guy in this picture?”

A Jedi… apart from the command structure? Fox’s face scrunched. “All Jedi Knights are part of GAR command. The draft had no exceptions.”

Vos’ smile tinged with pain. “He might outrank you during the war, sure. But not before it, or after it. Just—pretend there isn’t a war, or a Grand Army of the Republic, and he isn’t a General and you aren’t a Commander. Treat it like a thought exercise.”

No war. Fox’s whole life had been war. What would no war even look like? Like death, probably.

No army. That was slightly easier to picture. Fox had been subverting army regulations since the day he was decanted from his development tube. There was a clear line between what the army required of him and what he’d taught himself to get away with. Fox chewed on the idea that perhaps “no army” would mean he wouldn’t have to undermine anyone to do the things he wanted to do, and he briefly entertained the thought that wouldn’t be very much fun. But then he remembered that much of what he wanted to do was keep his Brothers from being murdered, and thought that perhaps it would be nice to let the pressure on that particular endeavor ease up. And Fox supposed if he really needed to subvert authority for the thrill of it outside of the army, there was always breaking the law.

No command structure. No Generals and Commanders. Would there ever be a time where nat-borns didn’t have their boot to the clones’ neck? It didn’t feel like something they’d do, hand out no-strings-attached sentient rights all willy-nilly. But this was just a thought exercise—no need for realism here.

So: no army. No nat-borns trying to kill his Brothers. No one forcing him to follow orders he didn’t want to follow. Vod’e only following Fox because he was their ori’vod and not their commander. It felt like a pipe dream, which Fox supposed was the point.

Fox scrutinized the image of General Kenobi—of Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. Vos was right, it was a very good picture. It was the kind of image that might make a squad of Shinies stumble into a wall. Fox just couldn’t see himself wanting to fuck the man about it.

“… I could do a handshake.” Fox noted definitively.

“Alright,” Vos accepted. “What about a hug?”

Fox side-eyed the Jedi. “Would he be wearing a bedsheet?”

Vos grinned mischievously. “Would that make you want to hug him more or less?”

“If he was wearing his regular, everyday bedsheets,” Fox stressed, “and we were both definitely not in the army… I could maybe see a hug happening. Maybe.”

“Really?” Vos’ brows raised. “Huh. Can’t say I expected that.”

“Don’t act like it’s a big deal,” Fox huffed. “He’s saved my batchmate’s shebs enough to deserve one.”

“Only one hug for saving one of your closest brothers’ lives?” the Jedi teased.

“He’s the annoying brother,” Fox snarked. They were all the annoying brother.

“One hug, understood,” laughed Vos. “Do you think you could kiss him?”

Fox’s face scrunched up, and whatever full-body motion he made in conjunction sent Vos into a fit of giggles.

“Geez,” Quinlan whistled, “that bad, huh?”

“It would be so…” Fox vaguely crinkled his fingers as a descriptor. “…Furry.”

Vos threw his head back, one big bark of laughter sent to the upper levels. “Not a beard fan, then?”

“What if it got in my mouth?” Shuddered Fox. “What if I swallowed a hair? Horrible.”

“Fair enough,” Vos whipped another amused tear. “Could you live with him? Share a room, or a bed maybe?”

“I’m a guard, I could share a room with most people,” Fox shrugged. “I guess if I had to pick a nat-born for cohabitation, Kenobi might be… fine. Better than most, I suppose. I’ve heard good things about how he treats clones.”

“I don’t mean if you had to choose a roommate,” Vos corrected. “If you had the choice to live with him or not, which would you pick?”

“Probably not, then.” Fox admitted. “It’s not that I think he’d be unpleasant to be around. It would just… be hard to sleep with someone not Vod’e at my back.”

Vos hmmed very neutrally. “…Okay, last question, and you don’t have to tell me the answer if you want. Would you have sex with Obi-Wan, and how does it make you feel?”

The answer was no: Fox didn’t want to have sex with Obi-Wan Kenobi. But he already knew that. He instead focused on the second part of the question: how would it make Fox feel if they did. 

In what sort of situation would such a thing ever happen? For the sake of the thought experiment, what if they, not-a-Commander Fox and not-a-General Obi-Wan Kenobi, walked into a bar. Karking involved closeness, so they would have to be standing very close. Not just standing close together, Fox realized with a grimace, but with their bodies touching, and maybe even lying on top of each other. Fox was familiar with lying on or under other clones in vod’e piles, and he didn’t mind it when he was physically close with his brothers. But Kenobi? He didn’t know him. He knew of him, but he was essentially a professionally trustworthy stranger.

“…I don’t think I’m a Kenobi-fucker,” Fox voiced, realizing he was struggling to even picture willingly pressing close to the ginger Jedi’s body with zero extenuating circumstances, let alone anything past that.

“Well hey, there we go!” Vos cheered. “That’s a promising start! Now, let me know if any of these pictures change your mind…” 

Semi-stunned, Fox sat and stared while Vos flicked through an assortment Kenobi pictures. The Jedi would look questioningly to Fox to see if he’d come to some sort of epiphany from seeing different outfits on same karking guy over and over, and each time Fox responded with a negative. He could at least appreciate the thoroughness of Vos’ experiment—the Jedi tried everything short of getting Kenobi himself to cameo during the test in person for a healthy dose of prolonged eye contact.

Not all of the Kenobis on screen were as risqué as the first—for many, he was just posing in civilian clothes. Kenobi was variably younger in the photos, ranging from a man almost identical the Obi-Wan of today with fewer wrinkles on his forehead and longer hair, to a nearly-beardless version of the General that made Fox goggle at how much he looked like a Shiny.

“And that’s all the Kenobi pics,” Vos finished. “Any of those change your answers?”

“…I still wouldn’t kiss him if I didn’t have to,” Fox said, probably not hiding very well how he stared wide-eyed at the young Kenobi and his peach-fuzz chin, “but without the beard, I at least wouldn’t gag at the thought.”

Vos nodded decisively. “Alright, then it’s highly likely you just don’t experience physical attraction—not from appearance alone, at least.”

Fox’s eyes shuttering like he had to blink away sun spots. “Just like that? We only looked at one person!”

Vos put up his hands for peace. “Listen, I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’ve done the Kenobi Test on a lot of people. So far, it’s had 93.328% accuracy guessing if people experience attraction. For some karking reason, it just works.”

Fox squinted incredulously. “…What’s your sample size?”

“Two-hundred and fifty-three individuals,” Vos fired back instantly. “Jedi and not-Jedi, about half were human. They didn’t even all like men.”

“Oh damn.”

“I don’t understand how it works either,” Vos threaded one hand through his hair, looking genuinely baffled himself. “I call it: the Kenobi Effect. If there’s a bone in your body that could just look at another person and say, ‘damn, that’s hot,’ you’re probably attracted to him in some way. I think it might actually be some kind of Force Anomaly.”

“Is that why you carry around so many pictures of Kenobi? Trying to prove your theory?”

“These? No. They’re all on the public holonet.” Vos turned the holopad around so he, too, could witness the Shiny-Kenobi onscreen. “Back when we were Senior Padawans, we had a crechemate with a skin condition that needed this special medicine, but it was hella expensive and the Trade Federation owned the rights to it so the Jedi couldn’t reproduce it in the Temple without getting sued—long story short, we needed hella money, fast. So Obi-Wan had the brilliant idea to start selling pics on the holonet for credits, and roped me in to take them, since I actually had a decent camera.” 

Fox tilted his head, not sure he’d heard right. “Wait, people pay credits for this osik?”

“Oh Stabby,” Vos chuckled to himself. “We made the money for the skin cream after the first photoshoot.” 

Fox sputtered. “It’s literally just pictures! Do people really get that much out of them?”

“That they do,” Vos revealed, leaving Fox’s mind spinning with the strangeness of nat-borns. Or, well. Nat-borns and Thire. “Force, we didn’t even know how ridiculous it was to rake in so much so fast—we were just kriffing around. The photoshoots ended up being pretty fun, so we kept at it intermittently for years through our Knighthoods, donated the excess credits in the communal fund until we were ordered to stop.”

Fox raised a brow. “Is it against the Jedi code to be hot, now? I’m not sure Kenobi got the message.”

“Oh, the Jedi didn’t give a shit,” snorted Vos. “Get this—it was the Senate that told us to knock it off. Said it was ‘unauthorized funding’ or some bantha-shite.”

Fox uncrossed his arms in shock. “No way.”

“It was a Senatorial Decree and everything,” Vos nodded faux-solemnly. He spread his hands out like he was reading the headline of a neon billboard “‘Jedi are hereby ordered to serve only the Republic, not this ‘cunt’ entity.’”

Fox cut off his external speakers midway through the most undignified snort he’d made in his short life.

Vos’ eyes gleamed with delight. “They had to call a full-seat session about it, cuz it dealt with Temple funding. They had to show the content in court.”

Fox’s lips pursed, barely suppressing his shaking. 

The Jedi leaned in for the killing blow.

“All ten-thousand Senators,” Vos whispered, “had to read and understand the word ‘bussy.’”

Fox’s helmet mic was on mute, but it didn’t help. His high, sharp, sob-sounding belly laughs exploded through the shell of his armor. Vos’ chest puffed up with pride, and Fox wrangled most of his amusement under control such as to not let the Jedi’s ego inflate any further and pop the Kiffar like a balloon.

“Shut up,” Fox shoved at the Jedi’s shoulder, he sternness shook by chortles, “that’s so stupid!”

“I know!” Quinlan crowed. “They’re still trying to pull the pics down, but you know what they say: the holonet never forgets.” 

“But seriously,” Fox sighed, blinking away tears, “I don’t get how a bunch more of pictures of the same guy would change my mind about wanting to kark him.”

“Brains are weird.” Vos shrugged, lazily resting his cheek on his fist to see Fox better, letting his dreads hook around his forearm. “Sometimes looking at someone from another angle can change how you feel about them.”

Fox side-eyed Vos incredulously. “If you say so.”

“I do have other non-Kenobi examples set up, if you’re that concerned.” Vos tapped on another tab, revealing a well-rounded, busty Yarkora.

For the sake of data completeness, Fox let Vos swipe through a variety of species, genders, and body types, dutifully asking himself how close he would let any of these beings come to him. But no matter how many people Fox saw or how many different outfits they wore, it didn’t change the fact that all of them, including Obi-Wan Kenobi, were strangers to him. At least with Kenobi, he had an idea of what the man was like. The rest were just bodies and faces—and Fox knew no matter how decent someone appeared on the outside, their core could still be just as rotten as Coruscant’s. How could he possibly trust any of them, let them in close?

Quinlan bumped his shoulder up against Fox’s, and the Commander realized he’d let his attention drift from the experiment. “Hey, you alright? We can stop if you want.”

“I don’t think pictures really ‘do it’ for me.” Fox sighed, picking at the edge of his paint—yet another bad habit he’d developed on Coruscant in a long list of things that Alpha-17 would kick his ass for. “It’s… hard to imagine anything of these nat-borns without knowing them. What if it takes meeting them in person to trigger something, or it’s a really specific type of person that gets me?”

“That gets you?” Vos wiggled his fingers in the air spookily. “Like a horror movie monster?”

“It’s clear you think you’ve just delivered a ‘sick burn’ of some sort,” Fox mocked, nose in the air. “But I have no idea what that even is, so it can’t affect me.”

“Aw space-rats,” Vos snapped his fingers, a smile on his face. “Foiled again. I’ll just have to show you one some time.”

Fox raised a brow. “A horrible monster? What, are we going to the bottom levels of Coruscant?”

“I was thinking maybe the whole movie, not just the monster.” Vos laughed, rolling his eyes. “Maybe… I could drop by sometime with a SVHS tape, and we could—”

“Ori’vod! We’re here to un-kidnap you—KARK!” They whipped their heads around watch Stacy slide around the corner, slip on the banana peel from earlier and instantly eat shit. 

The banana peel flew up from under the Vod’s wayward foot, hung dramatically in the air for a perfect moment Fox would’ve paid real money to freeze in time, and came down, landing improbably onto Stacy’s helmet with a wet SMACK.

Fox and Vos stared at the groaning young clone on the ground, and then looked at each other.

“We should—” Fox began.

“—take a picture.” Vos finished for him.

“You read my mind.” Fox’s HUD was already recording. “These are going on the break room fridge.”

[corrieweek]

🌟 CORRIE WEEK PROMPTS!

hello hi! We are so excited to announce the prompts for Corrie week, we got 102 responses which is just WOW! Thank you everyone who contributed, reposted, and shared❤️ now on to what you have been waiting for!

SFW Prompts❤️:

10/10 Fox day/ Freespace 10/11 Painting Armor 10/12 Tookas 10/13 Grizzer 10/14 Snuggle pile 10/15 Bring your clone/jedi to work day 10/16 “We’re gonna get you home”

NSFW Prompts❤️‍🔥:

10/10 Fox Day/Free space 10/11 Armor Kink 10/12 Biting 10/13 Breeding 10/14 Tattoos 10/15 Praise kink 10/16 Corrie commanders

We’re so excited and we hope you have fun with this years prompts!🌟

[howtokillavampire]

but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 account and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy - Chapter 10- Amity Ax - (SNEAK PEAK PART 4, NOT DEFINITIVE)

Heyyy so I'm releasing another tidbit of chapter 10 under the cut! It follows directly from part 3. I usually put warnings in the tags for my fic sneak peaks, but this time it's going in the to be in the post itself. Be warned for: brief but psychologically damaging misunderstanding, sexual implications, and references to flashing.

Okay, that's it! Enjoy the story under the cut :)

Fox stared at Vos. Yesterday, Fox had planted damning evidence on a Senator and burned their life and their family’s lives to the ground. Where the kark did Vos get the idea Fox was a “good influence” on anything? Fox shook his head, not wanting to think about the mental backflips Vos must have done to reach that particular conclusion. 

Fox sighed. “I guess… you might be right about not being able to prepare for everything.” 

“Me, right about something?” Vos pointed to himself in disbelief. “It must be the end of the galaxy!”

“Just saying they managed to cram some worthwhile osik into your head during Jedi school after all.” Fox mulishly rested his chin on his hand. “…I still wish there was a way I could know for sure if I’ve got this… capacity for weird feelings inside of me or not.”

“Well, if you’re that invested in knowing,” Vos caught Fox’s eyes with a half grin. “I could help you test for it.”

Fox froze. “What.”

“You heard me,” Vos smirked playfully, a glint of something teasing yet serious in this expression.

Fox could have been carved from stone. “No, I’m not sure I did.”

“It honestly wouldn’t be that hard to test for,” Vos shrugged. “And if you do have it, I could give you some tips about control—not that I think you’d need too many.”

Fox swallowed. “And… what would a ‘test’ consist of?”

“It’s an old Jedi trick…” Much to Fox’s building horror, Vos reached into his pocket to close his hand around something wide. Fox braced as Vos pulled out his—

“Pick a card!”

—deck.

Fox blinked at the playing cards Vos spread with a flourish into a fan. “…Huh?”

“Pick a card,” Vos repeated, beckoning Fox with his hand. “If you pick the one I’m thinking of, you win!”

Fox released all the air he’d ever breathed at once, letting his spinning head fall back to look up at the dizzyingly innumerable levels above them.

Vos lowered his cards a bit at the sudden swing in Fox’s mood. “You alright there, Stabby?”

“Yeah.” Fox laughed bitterly inside his helmet, internally berating himself. This was Vos. “Yeah, just—being stupid.”

“I highly doubt that,” Vos raised a brow, subtly inviting him to discuss his little episode further. “Doesn’t seem your style.”

Fox snatched his card from the fan. Quickly. Nearly quick enough to escape his self-loathing. “Ace of Hearts.”

“Nice,” Vos took the hint beautifully, as per usual. “That’s the one I was thinking of. Try it again—I’m thinking of a new one, now.”

Fox steadily drew a quarter of the deck, successfully locating the cards Vos wanted. It was a simple game, serving to elevate both Fox’s mood, and yet also his confusion. Fox discreetly sorted through the pile of cards he’d collected from Vos, wondering if he could arrange them to spell out “Kenobi Fucker” or not.

“Okay, now give this a try,” Vos plucked a card from the pile without looking and held it out, face-side pointed down and away from them both. “Which card is this?”

“Queen of Diamonds,” Fox squinted at Vos, searching for the point to all this.

“Oh yeah?” Vos challenged. “How do you know?”

“Because it is the Queen of Diamonds,” Fox snarked, pointedly plucking the card from Vos’ hand, flipping it up and revealing the face of the diamond-framed queen. “You’re just holding it stupidly.”

“Alright, smarty-pants.” Vos rolled his eyes. “What about this one—” 

And soon, Fox had drawn the whole deck, having never labeled a card incorrectly. Vos, for some Force-damned reason, looked insufferably proud. Fox stared at his pile, having come to the conclusion some time ago there was no satisfying way to spell “Kenobi” or “Fucker” with playing cards.

“I’m pretty sure I won the game, at least.” Fox consoled himself out loud.

“Kark man, you sure did,” Vos breathed. “I’ve never seen someone do as well as you in person, before.”

Fox raised his incredulous gaze to Vos’ meet entranced expression. Fox might need to lower his estimation of average nat-born intelligence from “rock bottom” to “subterranean,” if they couldn’t correctly identify playing cards right in front of their face. What, were there too many to memorize or something?

“…And how is this,” Fox gestured meaningfully with the cards, “supposed to tell me if I want to fuck people or not?”

Vos’ happy little smile froze in place. The Jedi blinked once, then twice. 

Fox peered warily at Vos over his card collection. “…What?”

“That’s what you wanted to karking test for?” Vos exploded, smacking a hand to the side of his head. The Jedi let a little disbelieving chuckle escape the half-exasperated, half-amused twist of his lips. “Oh Force, I was way off.”

“Oh thank gods,” Fox sighed out all at once, relief flooding his brain. “I was so confused with all this card trick garbage. So, all that philosophy about not predicting the galaxy—?”

“No no, all that stuff is still relevant to your thing, probably.” Vos massaged the bridge of his nose. “That’s the nice thing about ‘Jedi Wisdom’: it’s generally applicable.”

Generally applicable…? “…So card tricks can tell me if I’m attracted to people or not?”

“It depends. Maybe?” Vos shrugged. “You’d need a different deck that I don’t have on me, and using cards for that sort of thing would just leave you with a really vague answer that only makes sense in retrospect. Plus, I really don’t have the talent for readings.” Quinlan chuckled at a joke only he was privy to. “Not exactly a ‘seeing the future’ type of Jedi.”

“Oh,” Fox disappointedly collapsed his cards into a neat stack. The Ace of Hearts came out on top.

“Hey, cheer up Stabby,” Vos elbowed Fox playfully. “Attraction or not, at least now we definitely know you can handle and ‘distractions’ that come your way.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Fox bit. “There’s no way to know how something like that would affect me until it happens.”

“Come on,” Quinlan scoffed. “You? You’ve got a will of durasteel. Trust me, I’ve seen you stop yourself from doing way more tempting stuff than making heart-eyes at some rando.”

“Like what?”

“It’s like…” Vos gestured vaguely, an example coming to him fairly quickly, “wanting to shoot an Annoying Guy, but holding back.”

Fox squinted. “…What’s the guy’s Annoyingness Level?”

“At worst? A solid 7.”

“Oh.” Fox blinked brightly. “Well, I could handle that.”

As Vos clapped a celebratory hand on his pauldron, Fox released a huge breath of air. It felt like it had been lingering in his chest, stretching it taught, for far too long.