hi

bye - m25

[byjove]

your life is too easy. you need to go to the nearest animal shelter and adopt the first tortoiseshell cat you see

[pinkpillbugg]

What the fuck do I do now??

[byjove]

That’s a dilute torbie. You gotta get a classic black and orange tortie to pair with her.

[naomiknight-17]

Ok now what

[byjove]

they’re still finalizing their grand plan…

[anna-vampira]

Op what's her plan

[byjove]

I don’t know. I try to stay out of women’s business. But if I had to guess? She’s stealing toes.

[catchymemes]

[pukicho]

Any relationship advice?

Yeah, my old-ass grandma always told me that soup on a Saturday guarantees you a kiss on Sunday. I honestly don't know what the fuck she means though.

[drink-yo-water]

Means soup is good

[jamie-goblin-child]

[fwizard]

I’m getting threatening scam emails from author john green

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[qqchurch]

[deathgripsforcutie]

i always thought it was funny how in the lord of the rings sam and frodo head out and after awhile sam’s like “mr. frodo if i take one more step this is the farthest from the shire ive ever been” and then a ways after they meet up with merry and pippin on their daily vegetable run like jesus christ sam get out of the house once in awhile

[dogpuppy]

[fa3ryb0t]

goodbye straight people

[thatonelazyumsomething]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[ohlookitsatree]

voice offscreen: Hi, excuse me, i have an appointment for today?

*pause*

second voice: he’s new

first voice: oh okay

[cricketcat9]

Give him a little break, he’s new

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[clowntainment]

[magnetic-deflection]

m,y tuube:)

[vinnamah]

[calamitys-child]

I'm a pacifist like institutionally but I'm absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don't believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

[dogpuppy]

[somacruz]

Best thing I ever saw

[somacruz]

An ancient letter G is my pet and it has a fever in its big eye