I'm Not Leaving Without You...

|Ashanti | 30 | Baylor grad | ΑΔΠ alum| Live long and prosper, my loves

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you’ll achieve the most you can if you go at your own pace

[tired-stressed-trying-my-best]

[viva-1a-resistance]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

[the-haiku-bot]

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[lastvalyrian]

[sodalpiss]

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

[the-haiku-bot]

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sqwork]

[maykitz]

i hope they never stop using floppy disk icons to indicate saving your file. doesn't matter how obsolete they are it's like honouring someone with a portrait on your currency

[murmurlilies]

thinking about this screenshot from Columbo that makes it look like a 90s point-and-click adventure game

[rneowth]

[wackom]

Bothering the beast

[t00thpasteface]

those food cat memes always make me think of a kitten wearing a costume that his mommy made him

[markv5]

Подстава

[a-cat]

this is not a helpful translation, google.

[a-cat]

oh

[viohra]

Now this is a Russian culture lesson

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*listens to a song and makes a little amv in my head* this ones for all the telepaths out there ...

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thedailyshow]

[gay-hopeless-romantic-deactivat]

The U.S. in a gif series.

[pdawgz]

Pls keep reblogging this till this become a classic tumblr post , because it needs to be

[dankmemeuniversity]

[a-real-fast-goose]

Jeff looks back at you suspiciously. Unbeknownst to you Jeff has the theory that you are an anteater. The spy vs spy-esque antics go on for 7 acts

[taylor-fartnerd]

Your boss eyes the two of you, he seems nervous while he slightly shakes in fear. The two of you have been doing nothing but suspecting each other the entire time. Yet you haven’t even suspected the fact that,

Your boss is the anteater.

[kingdraws-moved]

[catboydaredevil-deactivated2023]

I jist burst out laughing so hard holy shit 🤣

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[yourgrrrl]

But you have to understand that when both my cousin and I came out as bisexual to our great-aunt, she told us we were too young to label ourselves.

You have to understand that both of my brothers are gay and came out to her before the ages of 15. She had absolutely no problem.

My great-aunt is a 69 year old lesbian.

You have to understand that not every aspect of biphobia has to do with homophobia.

[chocolate-and-discourse]

Sorry, I could never be a capitalist, I suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

[chocolate-and-discourse]

Someone once asked me if, assuming we got universal healthcare, I would be okay with the rise in “healthcare tourism” where people who are sick come to our country to get their medical bills taken care of and life-saving medical treatment cheaper than in their home countries. I was just like, yeah thats fine, I’d actually prefer it if 0 people died from preventable causes kept behind a paywall for no reason.

[6aint-deactivated20250716]

from “that’s my girl” to “that’s my wife”

[ethereal---goddess]

from "come over" to "come home"