yes I said yes I will yes

Real adult. Gay, writer, reader, teacher. The cat in the picture is McKippen, who was mean but I loved him. Blog title is from Ulysses when Molly Bloom remembers accepting Leopold's marriage proposal, and when she recommits herself to their marriage and ends her affair - can't relate.

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[magnhild]

it's midnight on the 1st of june aest

[sistertaxon]

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

[thesylverlining]

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

[kittyknowsthings]

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

[systlin]

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

[totohoy-blog]

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

[systlin]

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

[musicalhell]

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

[fuckstaffposts]

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

[rpluvsyj]

This post is a blessing

[wittyusername97]

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

[kitvalkyrie]

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

[10thingsihateabout-all-yall]

Oh my god they were phishing

[3000s]

what the hell did i do

[3000s]

home goods blocked me

[3000s]

they told me to go Home cause i'm no Goods

[monamoni]

[ralfmaximus]

WET BEAST WEDNESDAY

[laurasinele]

one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday

[le-jardin-inculte]

#mybal

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[headspace-hotel]

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

[hiveswap]

Amogus

[hellsitegenetics]

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Closest match: Clivina fossor genome assembly, chromosome: 13 Common name: Digger Slope-rumped Beetle

[nudityandnerdery]

[tiredkitchenwitch]

[coffeeandcigarettesv9]

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[woodrider]

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

[fantasiees]

“You never reply to messages” I am just one person okay I am understaffed

[yourdumbdevil]

[cosmic-terrestrial]

ever since I was a young lad I knew I wanted to be a middle-aged man with an undone tie around his neck who’s having a crisis so he goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face only to look up at himself in the mirror and wonder at the stranger looking back

[inthevasoline]

guys what should my 10,000th post be

[inthevasoline]

im so fucking stupid

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[charlesoberonn]

I like this meme because the stock photos make it seem like the same woman but 10 years older.

[madawhatever]

“Before the writers started working on the first season, I wrote a list of six things on the wall that every episode had to do.” - Mike Schur (x)

[raptorlily-deactivated20191105]

#ladies and gentlemen #a showrunner who knows what the fuck he is doing (via @stillscape)

[nostalgic-teddyy]

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

[the-big-mood]

I didn’t realize there were so many people getting destroyed by mattresses 😂