I like to think that Kyoko rants to Kyubey about her non-existent love life.
Kyubey doesn’t have a say in the matter; Kyoko finds the alien, drives her spear into its head, pins it to a wall, and then just starts going off. She complains that Sayaka is dense as hell, even when she drops the most unbelievably obvious hints possible. Like seriously, she’d literally told her one night that she couldn’t imagine a life without her while curled up in bed with her. And what did Sayaka do? She said “me too dude” and gave her a fucking fistbump? A fistbump???????
Mami was just as stupid. Kyoko had shown up at her doorstep last week carrying an entire spread of pastries from her favorite bakery(that she had paid for) and took her on a picnic date. She had even called it a date! She’d even borrowed Homura’s entirely unused kitchen to make as nice a meal as she could. She had even cut the sandwiches to look like hearts. And Mami just took it as a friendly gesture? A hangout between mentor and student? Seriously????
Madoka had literally introduced her as her girlfriend to her parents when she had gone over to the Kaname’s. She could’ve sworn Tatsuya had even given her a sly smile. And then... nothing? Madoka still hugged like she always did, even held her hand. When Kyoko kissed her on the forehead, Madoka had just giggled and continued walking. Did Madoka just think that’s what friends do? Fucking hell, is that what friends do nowadays? She hadn’t done this whole having friends thing in a while. Was telling your friends you couldn’t live without while cuddling normal? Was taking friends on dates normal??????
No, that couldn’t be, because she had straight-up kissed Homura, on the lips too!!! Kyoko was bumming around Homura’s apartment one night and noticed Homura looked exhausted. So she’d(reluctantly) shut off the TV and carried Homura to bed. Homura had asked her not to leave and had even tugged on her sleeve for her to stay. What was she supposed to say to that??? And the moment felt right, electricity in the air. So she had brushed the fringe from Homura’s forehead and muttered a soft “of course” as she kissed her. Homura had even smiled at her, and they went to sleep together. And after that? Nothing. Right back to the short responses and impassive remarks she had grown accustomed to.
Was Homura straight??? Were they all just straight??? Kyoko checked back on Kyubey, and while it didn’t move, she swore it rolled its eyes at her joke... Little bastard. With a huff, Kyoko finally pulled her spear from his head and walked off, muttering something about dense idiots.
Kyubey didn’t reply and walked off, searching for the next girl it could manipulate into contracting. Until time seemed to stop, a hand was placed on its head, and it could clearly see a shield. And once again it was trapped, this time by one Homura Akemi. Who had now started her own rant about the idiocy of three specific girls, and the idiocy of one pink-haired one (but Homura used much kinder words when talking about her).
If Kyubey had emotions, it would’ve sighed in exasperation when Homura had started ranting about how Kyoko had kissed her three weeks ago and had made no moves since then despite all of the “obvious” hints she had dropped.
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