why won't you listen to me first damn I'm always the one you dump on even when I'm telling you my struggles what the actual fuck is wrong with all of you
and you all have the audacity to make me look like the difficult one like what the actual fuckering fuck.
Things to remember if you still live in your toxic family's house: Reminders I wish I knew before
I don't know how to stress this out but this is important.
Tw talks on trauma
These are all from my personal experiences so please take what you find useful and remember we experience different things and might have a different take on others.
If you live in a house with your toxic family (abusers) please PLEASE do not believe everything they say.
Up until now I still can't accept the term "abuser" and I can't call them that. It feels like it's not that bad. But if my mind got this messed up, if I got this messed up. Isn't it bad enough then? IT IS. Believe yourself. You know you better than anyone.
DO NOT BELIEVE THEM when they tell you that all families are like yours. That you're already lucky they don't really hurt you physically. This is just them invalidating how you feel so they don't appear like the villains in everyone else's eyes. People react to traumatic situations in different ways. Trauma isn't only physical abuse. There are other forms too. Banging the doors isn't physically harming you but doesn't it scare you? You hear their words on repeat, you wake up sweating with a nightmare of them yelling nonstop. It technically doesn't leave you with bruises right? Does that not count still? It does.
If you have DID and they know, don't tell them everything. They're gonna use your own words against you. They're gonna use your amnesia to trick you and blame you on things you supposedly "just can't remember" when in reality it didn't happen. But because you have DID, it's easy to lie and trick you that you're the one who did something wrong. Yes things can happen and you may not know, but do trust yourself. If you know you wouldn't hurt anyone, trust you more than you trust them.
You record for your sake. So even if they accuse you of saying something, you can confirm it with the recording. BUT DO NOT TELL THEM. Please. Don't. They're gonna make you delete those. And they're gonna be wary next time. Keep it please. YOU CAN'T TRUST PEOPLE WHO MANIPULATE YOU.
If you have arguments or fights where everyone talks, voice record the whole thing. Be discreet about this, DO NOT LET THEM KNOW. Just press the record button then close the phone while it records. Leave it somewhere it can hear everything. If you can do this before it starts that would be better. (In my case, I feel it when a fight is starting so I start hitting record even before it escalates.) If you can keep the device with you while it happens then do it. But please try to not be obvious about this.
You can use recordings too if you wish to report them. I think they're useful evidence although I don't know much with laws.
If you can, back up your files. Upload them in your drive or something. So even if something happens to your phone or they find it, you have a copy secured.
Listen. It's not your fault. You did not and you do not deserve to be treated like this. The look of utter hatred is something no child deserves. If they make you feel like shit, I'm so sorry. I'm truly sorry that you have to go through all of this and still not get the help that you need.
Listen to me and please hold on. DO NOT SABOTAGE your future. Even if you don't want to live anymore, please. You gotta have a plan. As painful as this might be, there's a high chance you won't succeed with unaliving. Plan your future. If you have to drag yourself just to finish your studies and/or find a job, do it.
GET OUT OF THAT PLACE. Once you can be sure that you'll be fine by yourself, do it. Move out and never return. It's not your fault. They choose to be like that. It's on them. Don't you let them guilt trip you for choosing your own peace and safety.
You matter. Do not listen to whatever garbage they tell you about yourself. They don't even really know you do they?
Take care. Stay hydrated. You got this. It's okay to believe. Count 123 and work for that better day. There's absolutely no way to stop the sun from shining. Spring will come.
Also reblogging this one because I got something to say again:
I don't know if I should be glad that there are people who find my post helpful or if I should be sad because you're probably experiencing the same things. :[
They're cruel people. We all do not deserve any of this treatment. Please hold on. I hope you will hold on and let's try and cling unto the faint hope that we will heal one day.
It will not be too late. We will heal. We will love living. We can find the beauty in life. One day. It's not pure positivity I know. I also think about ending it all daily but there are rare times where I think:
"Wait. I deserve to live. Not just survive, I deserve to fully be alive and experience being alive."
None of you will take this away from me. You broke me? you're still breaking me? break me the hell up and I'll walk away in pieces one day, and after I walk away.. you will never see me come back to you.
What will you do? scare me that you'll break me? I'm already shattered, what makes you think you have the power over all my pieces? You do not.
I will be free one day. It's not a sin to believe in that future.
Tell them it's okay to talk about what they feel but proceed to use their words against them every single time. Then wonder why they often choose silence. "It's not always about you and what you feel. Stop being self-centered."
They know that. It's never been about them. It's always about you but you'd never admit that because you love playing the victim.
Am I really self-centered? You never even listened to me but tell me you always do? How is it always our fault?? How can you twist everything so effortlessly??????
I am reblogging this rn because it's accurate again today. I can't believe I still fall for their lies when I should know they're manipulating me. The war earlier is enough proof that they can and will manipulate me right in front of my face. All their narratives were reversed to make me seem like the villain they want to paint me as. Just a few more. Please hold on.
starting to think people need to prove they can tell the difference between fiction and reality before they’re allowed to engage with any kind of fiction tbh
This is giving me real "it's the 90's and I think the clips of re-enactors on Unsolved Mysteries and Forensic Files is footage of the actual murderers" energy, but like, even stupider
just a heads up that donation post about reena the pitbull is a scam. if you google "reumel sitchon paypal" you'll find posts from (now deleted) blogs about other sick and/or homeless animals all linking that paypal account.
Oh no :O
I'm sorry, I didn't fact-check before reblogging. Thank you for telling me!
I'm deleting my reblogs.
To other prolly soulless scam breathing things idk: Please stop scamming others. I know it won't magically make you stop but welp. There are actual people who need help and are desperate to get help because they probably have no other choice. You're ruining it all. Bottomline is, if you can organize a systematic scam thing, why not work your ass off so you can gain proper money?
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