✨The Dino System✨ @the-dino-system - Tumblr Blog

Collective Name: Jaxxon/Dino

Diagnosed: ASD, OSFED, DID (just dx’d yesterday -Oct 2nd 2025), ADHD

Previously thought to have: BPD w ASPD/NPD traits

Current hosts/co-hosts:

Tyler, 20ish, he/they

Lukas, 20ish, he/him

Atlas, 16ish, he/they

Hospital count: 10

Residential count: 6

Therapist count: 7

#j writes shit #dissociative identity disorder #autism #actually dpdr #pinned post #intro post

kosmogrl

manwhorewednesdays

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

copperbadge

Oh my guys, I am dying.

I belong to the Aphantasia Network, an organization that provides resources and discussion space for people with aphantasia, the inability to form mental images (which I have). Every so often they send out surveys and I always participate because the whole condition was really only discovered within the last 20 years or so, even though obviously it's not new in terms of existing in the human experience. I want to contribute!

But this morning I got a survey invitation that opened with

"Recent research suggests that the ability to sense internal bodily signals (called "interoception") might be connected to how we form mental images."

I spent months, when I was in DBT class, trying to figure out why all the physical stuff -- half-smiling, open posture, dive reflex, body scan -- didn't seem to work for me. I don't really feel emotions in my body or if I do I'm not aware of it, so soothing/stimulating the body had no perceptible impact on my emotions. I was still upset, I was just now upset and also felt dumb because I had a washcloth on my face, or upset and bored because breathing deeply is boring.

I was acting under the assumption that because these techniques were physical and were working for other people, they were both real and universal to the physical condition. I was simply disconnected emotionally from my body and therefore faulty in some way -- well, not faulty, but in need of some kind of repair, because the disconnect signaled a dysfunction of some kind. I had a fight with one of the therapists teaching the class about it. I had fights with people here about it when I said that my emotions don't often cause physical reactions, outside of adrenaline responses to shocks. Plenty of people thought I was lying to myself about it, and I considered they might be correct, given the data I had at the time. I say this in the tags as well but I was Unpleasant about those discussions and I'm sorry to anyone who was interacting with me and got the sharp end of my misdirected anger.

But...now here's an explanation, at least a potential one. There appears to be a link between inability to form mental images and either disconnect from physical sensation of emotion or lack of physical reaction linked to emotional state. The research is new, so who knows whether it's accurate, but I'm feeling pretty fucking validated this morning. It's very possible that I am emotionally disconnected from my body because I was born this way.

Aphantasia is also seemingly higher in people with ADHD, and both ADHD and poor interoception are linked to poor emotional regulation.

Wild.

I'm gonna have such a good powerpoint for my next therapy appointment!

Also, every time I post about aphantasia I get questions about it and I'm happy to answer them, but I would direct anyone curious to the "an aphantasia fantasia" tag which is where all my discussions of it go, including links to other research. If you venture out onto the internet to research it, I would stick to scientific research sites; there's a lot of woo going on around the idea right now, including attempts to "cure" it with meditation and hallucinogens, and the Reddit aphantasia community can be a very negative one (lots of talk around "suddenly" being "abnormal", looky-lous questioning if people with aphantasia are even truly sentient, etc), so read with care.

Have no idea what to do. We have a little who’s been dormant for ~3 years, and he doesn’t really have any memories for the last ~3 years, meaning he doesn’t know about the death of our grandpa. I don’t know how to tell him.

#dissociative identity disorder #vent tw #autism #system #did #osdd

inthetags

Reblog and put in the tags your first breakup song

#i really wish i hated you by blink 182

when people think level 1 autism is a quirk but I literally just missed most of my foster sister’s first birthday because there’s too many sensory things involved and I got too happy seeing all the dinosaur decorations therefore now on the verge of a meltdown

#autism #dissociative identity disorder #vent tw

“I’m going to college with her!”

no. That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be her biggest supporter. That’s my job.

the more I hear about her the more I realize she really IS my replacement

I can’t deal with this shit

I’m sorry.

#vent tw #tw sui ideation #si tw #tw sui attempt #tw sh implied #sh mention

i am…

royally fucked

nofuckingideawho

I don't believe I'm broken. I believe I'm fundamentally wrong. being broken means that at some point I was whole. I never have been. I've been fucked since before I was born