pls yap about shit w/ me @the-divine-comedian - Tumblr Blog

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weirdrouter

isn't wanting to be friends with other people, like, cheating? if you're aromantic?

literally what

envyvstheuniverse-deactivated20

rare post where almost every note is sofunny

ohnoitstbskyen

I'm going to an aromantic orgy this week [playing D&D with five friends]

everybidenjusthavegoodtime

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

newbtheveryawesomeandkindanewby

stormyskies-writes

Fake Dating Dialogue Prompts

“Let’s get one thing straight: this is strictly for show.”

“So what now? Do we just go back to being strangers?”

“No kissing. No touching. No catching feelings. Got it?”

“Grab my waist.” “W-What?” “Grab. My. Waist. They’re watching.”

“It was just a kiss.” “No one kisses like that and doesn’t mean it.”

“You said you'd never lie to me, but this whole thing was a lie, wasn’t it?”

“You keep looking at me like that and someone’s going to think you actually like me.”

“If we’re doing this, there’s one rule. No falling in love with me.” “Trust me, darling, there’s no risk of that.”

“Fine. I’ll stop. I’ll stop if you look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing when I look at you like this. When I touch you. When I kiss you. Tell me all of this is still fake and I’ll walk away right now.”

“All I did was wait for you to say it. To admit that somewhere along the line this became real. But you never did. And I’m done waiting.”

“I didn’t say all those things because I had to. I said them because it’s true. All of it. The way I feel about you, this thing between us… I can’t keep pretending this is fake.”

the-divine-comedian

8 is brutal

creativepromptsforwriting

Botanical Names Part IV

Names you can choose for your characters. Taken from the little signs in a botanical garden. So they are names of plants.

Jasmine

Sesleria

Alchimella

Pinus

Lily

Neolitsea

Ehretia

Aesculus

Lauraceae

Fatsia

Araliaceae

Poppy

Hibbertia

Acacia

Lomandra

Ivy

Celosia

Verbena

Lobularia

Asteriscus

Susan

Begonia

Juncus

Typha

Caltha

Sagittaria

Alisma

Tiarella

Gazania

Sarracenia

More names!

creativepromptsforwriting

Terms of Endearment

List of various terms of endearment that can be used in different languages. A lot of them are gender neutral.

English

Dear

Pet

Baby

Babe

Honey

Darling

My love

Sunshine

Sweetheart

Sweet cheeks

Prince/Princess

Arabic

Habibi حبيبي (m) (my lover)

Ya hayati يا حياتي (my life)

Ya qalbi يا قلبي (my heart)

Ya ruhi يا روحي (my soul)

Hubbi/hobbi حبي (my love)

German

Liebling (beloved/favourite)

Schatz (treasure)

Hase / Hasi (bunny)

Maus (mouse)

Spatz (sparrow)

Bär / Bärchen (bear)

Engel / Engelchen (angel)

French

Mon amour (my love)

Mon cœur (my heart)

Chéri (m) / Chérie (f) (darling)

Italian

Tesoro (treasure)

Amore mio (my love)

Cuore (heart)

Vita mia (my life)

Cucciola (puppy/cub) (mostly used for women, but you could say "cucciolo" for men)

Piccola (little one) (mostly for women, "piccolo" would be the male version)

Cara/caro (dear) (now mostly used by grandmas for grandkids but perfect for couples in the past or old couples nowadays

Bimba (f) (child)

Patata/patatina (potato/little potato) (again mostly women when used romantically, "patato/patatino" for men, but they can also be used for pets, babies, your kids or anyone that you find cute)

Tata/tato (short version of papata/patato)

Polpetta/polpettina (meatball/little meatball) (very uncommon, but I've heard it used for girls)

Topolina (little mouse) (very uncommon, but could be used for girls)

Spanish

Cariño (m/n) (darling)

Cariña (f) (darling)

Bebé (baby)

Corazón (heart)

Mi amor (my love)

Mi vida (my life)

Cielo (sky)

Amor (love)

Romanian

Iubi (Sweet heart/darling)

Iubirea mea (my love)

Draga mea (f) / Dragul meu (m) (my dear)

Dulceața mea (jam/honey)

Hungarian

Kedvesem (my dear)

Szerelmem (my love)

Drága (precious)

Édesem (my sweetie)

Kicsim (my little one)

Babám (my baby)

Kincsem (my treasure)

Turkish

Aşkım (my loved one)

Canım (my love/soul)

Hayatım (my life)

Dutch

Schatje (treasure)

Liefje (loved one)

Lieverd (loved one)

Hebrew

Chaim sheli חיים שלי (my life)

Neshama sheli נשמה שלי (my soul)

Lev sheli לב שלי (my heart)

Welsh

Cariad (love)

Hindi

Meri jaan मेरी जान (my life)

Malay

Sayang (dear/darling)

Afrikaans

Lief (love)

Liefie (lovey)

Farsi

Joon/Jaan جان (life)

Azizam عزیزم (my dear)

Asalam عسلم (my honey)

Golam گلم (flower)

Urdu

Meri jaan میری جان (my life)

Pyaari پیاری (sweetheart)

Shahzadi شہزادی (f) (princess)

Polish

Kochanie (my beloved)

Korean

Jagiya 자기야 (honey/baby)

Aegiya 애기야 (baby/little one)

Gongjunim 공주님 (f) (princess)

Wangjanim 왕자님 (m) (prince)

Nae Sarang 내 사랑 (my love)

Gwiyomi 귀요미 (cutie)

Czech

Zlato (gold, my precious)

Lásko (love)

Miláčku (dearest, little dear)

Russian

lyubov' moya / любовь моя (my love)

radost' moya / радость моя (joy of mine)

dusha moya / душа моя (my soul)

schast'e moyo / счастье моё (my happiness)

sokrovishche moyo / сокровище моё (my treasure)

solnyshko / солнышко (sunny)

zolotce / золотце (golden)

lyubimyj (m) + lyubimaya (f) / любимый + любимая (beloved)

dorogoj (m) + dorogaya (f) / дорогой + дорогая (darling, dear)

milyj (m) + milaya (f) / милый + милая (dear but in more informal way)

kotik / котик (kitty) malysh / малыш (baby)

zajchik (m) + zajka (f) / зайчик + зайка (bunny)

ptenchik / птенчик (little bird, hatchling)

rybka moya (f) / рыбка моя (my fish)

Portuguese

Meu querido (m)/ minha querida (f) (my darling)

Meu amor (my love)

Princesa (f) (princess)

Meu docinho (my sweetheart)

Coração (heart)

Amado (m)/Amada (f) (my love)

Meu (m)/ minha (f) mais que tudo (my above overall) Meu tesouro (my treasure)

Paixão (passion)

Meu bem/ meu benzinho (my goodness)

Meu doce/meu docinho (my sweet/ my little sweet)

Meu xodó (my crush)

Brazilian Portuguese

Amor (love)

Querido (m) / Querida (f) (darling)

Bebê (baby)

Meu bem (untraslatable; something between "my dear" and "my treasure")

Meu docinho de coco (my coconut candy - really old slang, nowadays used only for fun)

Patroa (f) (it means a female boss; not ironic not aggressive, but used by men to describe their wives affectionately, eg. "I can't go today, my patroa is waiting for me at home")

Gato/gatinho (m) / gata/gatinha (f) (cat/little cat; if a person is pretty, they are called a "cat")

Minha vida (my life)

Filipino (from various local languages, all gender neutral)

Mahal, sinta (tagalog) (love)

alternatively add "ko" or "aking" to turn it into "my love" (e.g. mahal ko, sinta ko; aking mahal, aking sinta) with "aking" being used more often when talking about the one you love to a 3rd party;

or turn it into a verb (e.g. aking minamahal, kasintahan) to make it "lover"

Paraluman, irog, liyag, giliw (tagalog) (darling) these are older terms though, you won't hear or see them being used unless you're lovers with someone 🌟Extra🌟

Tangi (tagalog) (only one)

Tinatangi (tagalog) (the one i hold dear/the only one for me)

Tinadhana - fated (from the root word "tadhana" meaning fate, which in and of itself should also be a term of endearment and I stand by that)

Hinigugma (bisaya) (beloved) (very old)

Palangga/pangga/langga or "ga" for short and sometimes pagingging (ilonggo) (love) (can also be used platonically or between family members)

Kalasahan (tausug) (beloved) (this is pronounced with an emphasis in the SA syllable (as in kalaSAhan) instead of the LA like in the tagalog word LAsa (which means taste)

Jowa (filipino slang) (significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend)

Bebe, bebe ko, beh, bhe, bhie, bih (filipino slang) (babe)

Lablabs (filipino slang) (literally "love-love" in a heavy filipino accent)

Slovak

Zlato / zlatko (gold)

Láska (love)

Miláčik (bit cheesy, but means my lovely)

Greek

Αγάπη /Αγάπη μου (love /my love) (the first can also be used among friends, usually between women, but both are very often used in romantic relationships)

Ψυχή μου (my soul) (mostly romantic but can be used by a parent to their kid)

Swedish

Sötnos (cute nose)

Älskling (darling)

Let me know more terms of endearment in your languages! And please correct me if I'm wrong somewhere.

Please note that they are not all romantic. You can ask in the replies, so a native speaker can answer if it's appropiate for the type of relationship you want your characters to have.

weirdrouter

isn't wanting to be friends with other people, like, cheating? if you're aromantic?

literally what

envyvstheuniverse-deactivated20

rare post where almost every note is sofunny

ohnoitstbskyen

I'm going to an aromantic orgy this week [playing D&D with five friends]

tenderwatches

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

everybidenjusthavegoodtime

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

dreaming-shark

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

ailithnight

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

chequerootlurks

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

thatdisasterauthor

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

swindle94

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

fromchaostocosmos

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

terulakimban

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.

midrashic

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

kriladoodles

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

marablake

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are rarely worse than mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

literaryvein-reblogs

Writing Notes: Clothing Textures

When you think of textured clothing, you might imagine a scratchy wool sweater or a soft fur coat, but every clothing item has some kind of texture. The texture of fabric is often determined by the type of weave, so it’s a good idea to get to know the 3 major weave types:

Twill: The distinguishing characteristic of the twill weave is its diagonal rib pattern. Twill weaves have a distinct, often dark-colored front side (called the wale) and a lighter back. Twill has high thread count, which means that the fabric is opaque, thick, and durable, making it perfect for chinos, upholstery, and bed linens. Denim is a twill weave fabric, as are tweed and houndstooth.

Satin weave: The satin weave creates a fabric that is shiny, soft, and elastic with a beautiful drape. Satin fabric has a lustrous surface on one side and a dull, matte surface on the other side. Satin is perfect for haute couture-style dresses and clutches.

Plain weave: Plain weave fabrics, including canvas, taffeta, and muslin, are made by overlapping the warp and weft (vertical and horizontal threads) at right angles. This forms a criss-cross pattern that looks the same on both sides of the fabric.

Common Fabric Textures

The types of fabric you’ll encounter when looking for different textures include:

Denim is a strong cotton fabric with a twill weave that gives it a subtle diagonal ribbing pattern. The diagonal ribbing is what makes denim fabric different from canvas or cotton duck, which are also sturdy, woven cotton fabrics.

Broadcloth is a plain-weave fabric that is traditionally woven from thick wool yarn—the fibres of which felt together as the cloth is made. Broadcloth is sturdy, stiff, and resistant to wind and water.

Seersucker is a type of thin cotton cloth. The way it is woven causes the threads to pucker and bunch, creating crinkles. Seersucker often comes in narrow white and blue stripes and is popular in summer fashion.

Corduroy is a soft, durable fabric. It is distinctive for the tufted cords—called “wales”—that run in parallel along its surface. Corduroy is typically made from cotton, but it can also be made from wool.

Leather is any fabric that is made from animal hides or skin, with cowhide being the most popular.

Suede is a type of leather made from the soft underside of an animal skin. It is softer, thinner, and more delicate than traditional full-grain leather. Suede is ideal for footwear, jackets, and accessories like belts and bags.

Brocade is a particular style of jacquard fabric that uses additional threads to create a raised pattern, resulting in an embossed or embroidered effect. Due to the technique used to make it, brocade fabric is not reversible, and it may appear rough or unfinished on the underside.

Silk is a natural fiber produced by the silkworm. Silk is incredibly durable, with a shine and softness that are unmatched. Silk fabric is used for formal attire and accessories like pocket squares.

Cashmere is a type of fabric made from the wool of cashmere goats and pashmina goats. Cashmere is a natural fiber with an extremely soft feel and great insulation. Cashmere is significantly warmer and lighter than cloth made from sheep’s wool. Often, cashmere is blended with other types of wool, like merino, to give it added weight, since cashmere fibers are very fine and thin.

Jersey is a soft, stretchy knit fabric that was originally made from wool. Today, jersey is also made from cotton, cotton blends, and synthetic fibers. The fabric is usually light-to-medium weight and is used for a variety of cotton clothing items, such as T-shirts.

Flannel is a soft woven fabric typically made from cotton. It is a common material for plaid shirts.

How to Mix and Match Clothing Textures

Texture is an easy way to add visual interest to an outfit. By layering different textures, you can create a distinct look.

Identify neutral textures. Mixing and matching textures is similar to mixing and matching patterns and prints. In the same way that certain classic prints appear neutral, simple textures can serve as a neutral base for wilder textures. Denim, cotton fabric, leather, and suede are some of the most basic textures that play well with other textures. Neutral textures that are smaller and less visible to the naked eye—like merino wool—pair well with more attention-grabbing textures.

Consider a texture’s typical context. Textures evoke specific moods. Silk lends a luxurious vibe to any outfit. A plaid flannel shirt can look cozy with corduroy, but it becomes more serious when paired with a black leather jacket. Denim is a casual texture you can use to dress down other fabrics: Pair a satin tank with jeans—rather than something like brushed wool trousers—for a relaxed yet stylish look. Think about the context in which you might wear a particular material, then pair that material with other textures to subvert expectations.

Mix textures, match colors. Sticking to a more limited color palette will give you free range to play with different kinds of textures. That doesn’t mean you have to dress in monochrome: You can use neutral colors to anchor your look, or choose two or three solid colors that work together.

Source ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ How to Describe Clothing

Might I encourage you to become more well-versed in Tumblr media and shitpost culture?

sure

waywardsestras

wisteria-lodge

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.) Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results:

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory)

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.)

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.)

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.)

the-divine-comedian

Using ths for my oc