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@the-f0x
Elie Saab ‘The Sacred Source’ Fall 2020 Haute Couture Collection
Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life
Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
I’ve been working on this for months and the truth is I could continue to add to it forever but I want you all to enjoy it with me
transcript:
Griffin: [as Jenkins] A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins. Justin: [snickering]
G: Are you naming your goddamn wizard Taako?
G: Oh- shit. Oh, god, oh, god, where’d it go, oh no, no, no!
G: If possible, I would love to- to avoid a shitting-based solution? Uh, A, because I don’t want to know what exists beyond the explicit tag in iTunes? [Justin laughs] I don’t- like, is there a fucking NC-17 rating? I don’t wanna- I don’t think I wanna be a part of that. But also- Justin: [crosstalk] Hey! G: I would also not like this scene to drag on out as long as- as a human being’s digestive cycle.
G: [background laughter] Fun show, fun show games!
G: And I think I just described a plant orgasm. And this has been Fifty Shades of Green [Clint laughs], starring four idiots.
G: So the end of that sentence that you cut off was- and I- so I won’t be able to put up with any shit today, but the problem is I already have? Now people will stop tweeting about me that I said one of Barry’s favorite things is swimming in a cold lake on a hot day, and then in two episodes later say he didn’t know how to swim.
G: ‘Kay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive, but the box has died. Clint: That means it’s open, right? G: Yes, with that the box pops open and it has 900 gold pieces inside. Everyone: Yeah! [cheering]
Travis: I get it. Justin: Damn, that’s a good door! G: No, it’s- [yelling] let me finish describing what happened to the door! I’ve been trying to tell you what happened to the door for like ten minutes!
Travis: I tap it with the Glutton’s Fork and I swallow it. Justin: [muffled wheezing] Griffin: What the fuck!
Griffin: [laugh-crying] You’re gonna turn him into a man tube? [wheezing] You- you’re gonna turn him into a bag or a shelf with the rock sitting on it-
Griffin, loudly: What the fuck?! [audience laughter] Travis: Double damage is- 4 and 3 plus 4 and 1. Griffin: I didn’t give Marvey HP!
Griffin: Is the stapler in here? Anyone want the fucking stapler?
Griffin: Oh, Jesus, you love this shit! [Travis, crosstalk: I’m sorry-] It’s your- You’re a fucking pervert! Fetish- you’re exposing everybody to your fetishes! Travis: I’m so sorry!
Griffin: Uh- it is an uneventful climb to the twentieth floor. And, uh- as- Travis: Floor twenty! Griffin: as- as- What? Justin and Travis: [snickering] Floor twenty! Griffin: [pause] We’re not gonna say anything better than that- Travis: Griffin, we have to fight some weeds at floor twenty. Griffin: We have thirty minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that. Did you even think about that?
Justin: I grow bored with this fight. [laughter] Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk] Justin: I’m- I’m casting polymorph on myself- Griffin: Oh, fucking- wow. Justin: Griffin, I’m texting you- [Griffin: oh]because you’re going to need this information. Griffin: Oh my god, Justin. Justin: Yes. [Wonderland music starts] Griffin: Taako’s arms sink into his chest, so that he’s just got, sort of, little arms, and his head gets really big, and really long, [Clint laughs] and his teeth get very sharp, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex.
Griffin: [yelling] Oh, NO! Are you keeping track of how many times you rolled as well? Clint: [crosstalk] To be honest the educational system in Huntington, West Virginia sucks- Travis: Twenty-five! Twenty-five! Four, four! Twenty-five! Twenty-seven! [overlapped with Justin] Griffin: it’s dead- STOP! Stop! You’re killing him! Travis and Justin: Thirty! Thirty-six! Griffin: Stop! He’s already dead! Travis: One more, one more, one more- [Clint: C'MON!] Travis and Justin: Thirty-seven! [A pause as the audience laughs] Travis: His parents feel it! Griffin: You fucking- you fucking- this turtle’s- this turtle’s parents- Travis: [crosstalk] Is that where the turtle’s brother dies? Griffin: -forget about him. This turtle was a successful turtle author, and the words on his books fucking vanish. [audience laughter] You have erased this turtle from existence.
Travis: But my butt- Griffin: [yelling] Come on, I’m in hell! [crosstalk] I’m dead and in hell now! You opened the door! You built the fucking door! Out of wood! Shitwood! Shame on you and shame on us!
Justin, as Taako: Garfield? Griffin, as Garfield: Yes? Justin: I have something I think is really going to interest you. Griffin: [yelling out of character] OH MY GOD! Justin: This is the Slicer of T'pire Weir Isles [background laughter] and I notice that you have a really cool sword. It’s a Flaming, Poisoning, Raging Sword of Doom, I believe it’s called. Griffin: Oh my god… Justin: And- I’m looking at your entire stock and it does seem to me that’s your most valuable posession, would you say that’s accurate? Griffin: [laughter, as Garfield] Yes, it’s absolutely the most valuable thing in the store!
Griffin: [very tired] I didn’t expect it to go like that. [audience laughter] Um- and- Travis: What did you expect to happen? Griffin: [yelling] For you to catch a fucking fish in my fish mini game! [audiene cheers] Is that so- Am I out of my mind? Is that an unreasonable expectation? To give them a fucking fish mini game- Taako makes the lake float, Travis jumps in with a rapier, like, “let’s get it done!” and Dad makes, the- the fucking shit teleport away! [audience laughter] Clint: Welcome- welcome to The Adventure Zone, Griffin.
[ID: Griffin McElroy saying, “Teens are very much into the following: bullying me on Tumblr.” /END ID]
HOLY SHIT OH YM GOD OH MY OG DFLSKDFJASSLDFKJDFSA
CURSED
So i was just going to screenshot this post and-
this is the pic that wont load for any of us apparently
This “God Creating Things” series by @lonnieiiv on TikTok is HILARIOUS!
God: Now listen to me Gabriel, these are going to be really fun because some go on pizzas.
Gabriel: Yeah, okay, okay.
God: You like that? And then some will make you see things.
Gabriel: ...’Kay?
God: And some, Gabriel, some just... kill you.
Gabriel: [Long pause] You doin’ okay, pal?
I love how he turns off the stove to give this the attention it deserves
This level of romance or don’t even bother
whoever isn’t renewing sonic boom right this very second is a coward and a fool
there’s no way that’s real
@pakabear bro i can assure you absolutely every line in this compilation is fucking real and aired on a children’s television show
the greatest plan in history
Guy who likes music
Is he an alien
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen
I joke about “villain-coding” but I just walked into the patch of invasive garlic mustard I have been locked in hopeless battle against for weeks and found half the plants pale and wilting, put my hand on my hip, threw back my head, laughed, and said, “Well, well, well... did somebody get frost damage?!”
Last week I yelled “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!” at the honeysuckle I was trying to clear.
Villain coding but the conflict is Villain vs Nature
Villain vs Nature vs Nature vs Other Nature
WHOA
this is one of the reasons it’s so hard to translate on the fly 😭 monoglots just don’t understand and think you’re bad at the source language 😟
whoever decided “yes, all cowboy characters must look like this” is a fucking genius and also absolutely correct
We’re only finding out recently that a lot of animals have colors and patterns that we cannot see because they’re outside of our visual range. It calls to attention how much of the world we can’t experience because our senses are limited. When we shine UV lights on them, they glow pink or blue, but these are the colors that we CAN see…. they could be a bunch of different colors, which we SEE as all pink. It’s also interesting to consider that most of these animals are not aware of having glowing patches on their bodies…. isn’t it also possible that we have skin or hair patterns that were not aware of? . . (There is actually some research out there to support the idea that our own skin fluoresces as well and that there are gender differences in the pattern and glow.) Other places to see my posts: INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / ETSY / KICKSTARTER
Humans do have invisible stripes! They’re called Blaschko’s Lines, formed as skin cells divide at the embryonic stage. Normally we can’t see them at all, though certain skin conditions follow those same lines.
Apparently this is roughly what we’d look like, if our eyes could see in a different spectrum:
Dunno about you, but I want to use this in a story someday. Aliens can see our stripes and we can’t! Magical transformations follow Blaschko’s Lines! A subtle sign of lycanthropy is darker hair there! Wizards are bald with that cool spiral on their heads!
Speculative fiction is so much more fun when you can speculate about something strange but true.
THIS??? IS THE COOLEST???? SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY EVER??????????? AAAAAAAA THAT IS FLIPPING AWESOME!!!!!
Wow i can’t wait for tonight’s shooting stars! I hope I see one!