the murder

he/him, they/them, new tumblr user please dear god pardon my transgressions I just wanna be silly

[buninabottle]

👁️ ~BEHOLD(ER)!~ My first sticker set of Rude DnD Villains!! 🧛🦖💀🦉✨

You can get them HERE~

[homunculus-argument]

I think "The Hangover" movies would work better as a whole movie genre. The beginning is always the same: group of friends wake up hungover as hell, to start figuring out what the hell happened last night. Turns out a lot happened. As a tradition of the genre, there's always an animal in the house that has no logical reason to be there.

But get this: The same premise every time, but in wildly different times and places. Victorian England, the gentlemen went fuckshit with some nice sherry, wrote some questionable letters, worked together to compose an absolutely idiotic thinkpiece essay and sent it to the local newsprint (the publishing of it must be stopped) and for some reason there's an ostrich.

A troupe of travelling performers in the late Kofun period wake up in the stables of an inn, and the main plot point is the little beast sleeping on someone's chest. None of them have ever seen a cat before, but one knows enough to tell that those are imperial pets, and whoever's fucking cat that is will both be capable and willing to kill whoever stole it. So they'd better fucking return it.

A Tepehuan group of youths find themselves way out of the place that they last remember they had been, for some reason someone's balls have been shaved and painted red, and the strange out of place animal sleeping at their makeshift campsite is some random swedish guy. The spaniards don't seem to know how the fuck he ended up there, either, but they clearly do not have a mutual language with each other.

[5bi5]

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

[talkedlynx]

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Opening commissions! Dm if you’re interested!!

─⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─ specific information for character design comms ⤵︎

If you’re going to commission a character design please include references! This can be Pinterest boards, a picrew, or even just very detailed written descriptions. If you don’t, I’m going to assume i have full creative freedom over how your character looks ✨

[byjove]

I think we need to start giving stories happy endings again. Grimdark suffering and then everyone dies has been done to death now. We need a reason to hope and a reason to try.

[homunculus-argument]

Anywhere is walking distance if you've got nothing better to do.

[kurhanchyk]

[kurhanchyk]

are you okay i noticed you reblogging "a raven with a damaged wing. it can still fly with ease" again

[avvocarlo]

imagine if instead of it being called a sip it was as called a suck. can I have a suck of water? 🤨

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

imagine an expanse of graves spanning miles and miles, too many miles for you to traverse

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[crabussy]

mesmerised by this random photo taken by the hiking club I'm part of. the soft cool tones and radiant warm tones, the composition and lighting...

[crabussy]

I think this is the best part of this photo. the point of that entire trip was to find and read an old storybook that they knew was at a particular hut. he genuinely is reading it out loud to the others. I can't remember what it was about, but this scene is the cozy and well deserved reward of a wild endeavour through rugged terrain. I think that's beautiful [:

[cilantroodon]

[ID 1: A group of three hikers sitting at a table. Two of them are resting, the other is flipping through a book. Various items are scattered across the table, and they are lit by a small candle.

ID 2: Tumblr tag that says: what is he reading that put them to sleep. End IDs.]

(ID 1 via @banquetsinger)

[theoneofwhomisblue]

They/them pussy

[ririwithrice]

nonbinary cats >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<>>

[screampotato]

I was curious about this, not because I was surprised the cat was "neither male nor female" but because I was surprised this is a "first". I mean, intersex cats exist. Any time an apparently male cat is tortie/calico, for example, that's an intersex animal, probably XXY.

Turns out, though, that this kitty is very rare - they have no external genitals, and vets can find no evidence of internal reproductive organs either. So yeah, fair enough, I've literally never heard of an animal being born like that! Isn't nature something?

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

The face of a creature who fought the gods to be born without the burden of reproduction and won

[woodelf68]

Confused kitty having an existential crisis.

[homunculus-argument]

Guards! Seize this man, and take him out of context.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey fanfic writers who know their way around the kitchen, I have an idea for you:

Pick two characters that you like writing together, and a recipe you're proud of doing really well, and then write a short story of the two of them making that dish, depicted in such precise detail that someone reading through it could actually reproduce the dish by just following the instructions written into the action and dialogue.

If you're so inclined, you may keep sprinkling the story with red herring hints that the story is going to get ~saucy~ at some point, but it doesn't. You're just showing your readers how to make one hella damn good lemon meringue. Nobody fucks around your lemon meringue.

[homunculus-argument]

oh great milk wizard of the spoiled kind may you please grant the knowledge of what happens when powdered milk and and milk mix?

More milk per milk.

[trickstermelon]

Walkin' like an Egyptian

Print

[homunculus-argument]

I put the cons in consciousness and the war in awareness. The devil may be in the details but I'm the imp in implication. Above all else I am extremely annoying.

[getsparrowed]

me? oh, ive been juggling... must be 'round 30 years by this point. you?