Tie The Rope

GPS: Geli Positioning System

[hustlerose]

slipknot sounds like werewolf lube 

[hustlerose]

stop reblogging this

[nobrashfestivity]

David Wojnarowicz,1988

[trr3rr]

Nicolas Cage, 2020

[lyingfigure]

it’s giving too much. he wants to do numbers on tumblr so bad

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Well Imma give them to him, cuz that jacket fucks

[lux-in-the-night]

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

Source

[ohara-n-brown]

Watching the new Try Guys video, I can rest easy at night knowing that the moment Eugene found out about all this, he must’ve went fucking OFF at Ned.

Look at his face that entire video. And this is days later. I can’t even imagine how furious he was in the moment, for all of them, for Ariel and their kids. He must’ve tore into him.

God Bless Eugene Lee Yang. 

[serial-kissing]

ARE YOU SHITTING ME

[anintellectualblonde]

Happy birthday Snoopy!

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

Looking at you Herschel Walker.

[imitationgod]

imagine youre out on the court playing basketball with your friends and you look up and you see a giant (like, several people long) piece of graffiti that just reads “GRANDMA HAS DIED”.

 you get beaned in the head by the basketball.

this is what playing splatoon is like

[imitationgod]

i was being extremely literal with this one btw

[v-didomi]

Prince Harry confirmed Splatoon 3 player

[discount-supervillain]

At any point, I could just… stop drawing everything else, and make these. Sometimes, I think about that.

[hbmmaster]

mario movie predictions

(for context I’m writing this before the trailer has been released)

this will not be a “good movie”

unfortunately, it also won’t be bad in interesting ways

you’ll definitely be able to tell that many people who worked on this care about the source material. background details will be filled with deep-cut references to things from across the whole franchise, including things nintendo hasn’t acknowledged in decades

those will be completely overshadowed by the lore references in the script, which are the most Dorkly-ass nostalgia bait “hey remember Mario?” type gags a committee of soulless writers could come up with

it’s (at least partially!) an origin story, obviously, but they’re not allowed to deviate from established “canon” enough to come up with anything interesting. the best they can do is reference relatively lesser-known games like Wrecking Crew. they won’t reference Mario Bros. (Game & Watch) because they’re cowards.

it’s a comedy, but they only have like five good jokes. all five of those jokes will be featured in the trailer, so a bunch of people who don’t know how trailers work will think it looks good

the majority of the gags are jokes you’ve heard a million times before. peach sure gets kidnapped a lot! did you know mushrooms are also drugs? if you’re the Mario Brothers does that mean your name is Mario Mario? hey what if “cake” is a euphemism for something!! mario eats mushrooms he’s on shrooms get it

chris pratt’s mario voice is okay. it sounds kinda like mario’s voice in hotel mario, but with less personality

charles martinet’s cameo is as mario. the first time mario says something, it’s in martinet’s voice, then he clears his throat and has a more boring voice for the rest of the movie

princess peach girlboss moments

there’s a “mario is a bad brother” subplot. mario mistreats luigi consistently, and it’s not resolved by mario growing as a person it’s resolved by luigi doing something cool and “earning” mario’s respect

coincidentally mario DOES grow as a person, when he eats the super mushroom : )

in accordance with the Post-Frozen Law of Animated Villains, there will be a surprise bad guy reveal. there are several ways this could go:

bowser as a villain is played straight for the first act, then mario rescues peach and that’s the end of the Origin Story portion. afterwords, the REAL villain comes in, and the gang has to team up with bowser to stop them! and that real villain, of course, is

Foreman Spike, from Wrecking Crew

Donkey Kong

Yoshi (revenge for being thrown into pits)

Wario (wahahahaha)

Luigi (mario is a bad brother subplot final form)

Waluigi (featuring meta jokes about how waluigi hasn’t been in enough games)

Peach (girlboss moments)

ALTERNATIVELY, one of the above is the villain at first, then there’s a third-act twist that. bowser is the villain.

there will be one shot, somewhere, where the super crown powerup appears in the background along with a bunch of other items, and people on twitter will freak out about how this is a canon reference to bowsette

[huffylemon]

[thyrell]

hi guys theyre playing fox news in the cafeteria and theyrw running a story about how theyre putting rainbow fentanyl in lego boxes. to give to kids 😃

[thyrell]

they just did an immediate pivot no segue or explanation to talking about north korean nuclear weapons tests. i get it i get why so many old people are paranoid morons now this is like cocomelon for racists

[coughloop]

These are happening at the exact same time in the same office I know it

[rednines]

[beardedmrbean]

[ooccoo]

[rannulfr]

I like to imagine the contractor just accidentally hired a beaver who had wandered into a hardhat.

[sizvideos]

[tunte]

Why

[loremerchant]

This is demonstrating why you absolutely do not pour water on a grease fire.

[tha-spaso-koupes]

holy shit

[justalifelongphase]

Okaaaay. If any of you actually have a grease fire in the kitchen put the lid on the pan. It will suffocate the flames. Don’t pour water on it, and don’t freak out. Cook safely!

[gician]

Or throw flour on it to smother it.

[birdpapi-deactivated20171121]

/quick safety announcement

[nijuukoo]

NO, DO NOT USE FLOUR, DO NOT USE FLOUR TO SMOTHER A FIRE.

YOU HAVE TO USE BAKING SODA.

Throwing flour into a fire can cause it to combust and make the fire worse because FLOUR/SUGAR IS FLAMMABLE. One cup of flour into a grease fire can have the explosive force of dynamite.

The reason you use baking soda is that it releases carbon dioxide when heated, and CO2 is a fire suppressant.

[kiokushitakaa]

REBLOGGING FOR LAST COMMENT TO SAVE LIVES

[nellipusen]

can we talk about how this is from a tv-show called “do not try this at home” where they tested all sort of stuff you’re not supposed to do, but they only got four episodes because after this experiment they burned the house they were filming in to the ground.