girl..... girl help @the-simple-genesis - Tumblr Blog

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

love it when a location is evil. when a location fucking sucks. when intrinsically it is so bad and evil that it literally is in the air . this kinda works if its only something special can you imagine a parking lot being evil oooooh every time you park into me i subtly adjust my lines so that you're always slightly tilted

#prev #truu

ganymedeshouse

Pink nose

rioblitzle

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

tlirsgender

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

tlirsgender

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

tlirsgender

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

tlirsgender

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

tlirsgender

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

tlirsgender

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

owenthetokencishet

So-called "free thinkers" when their friend has to pee

jimmyhoffathecat

Just a little boy

bedupolker

Quick monsoon piece... looks moody but everyone's definitely glad for the rain.

doomtemparts

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

nat-20s

As an adult I think me and all my friends should all have matching schedules and work like 20 hours a week and also everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other why is that so much to ask