The Sisters Insane

Margaret. 20. Stole my URL from a Halestorm song.

[play-doh-slut]

what do you mean normal people don’t get physically sick when they’re stressed out or when someone is mad at them

[ryebreadgf]

so many ppl on tiktok will be like ‘look at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringe’ and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby that’s what happens when u don’t have ur own sense of style

[twofingerswhiskey]

got called “omg vintage” by a secretary in training at the dentist’s office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. ma’am i bought that in 2016

[unpatchedglitch]

this is WILD you can’t just leave this in the tags lmaoo

[twofingerswhiskey]

(cw: adult story below)

okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD. 

so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.

so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something

also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao

and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.

and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways

the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”

so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!

and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.” 

and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID

also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny

[ramranchcowboycocks69]

[historianoftumbles]

What was this post about again??

[autisticexpression]

Fashion I believe.

[superioronion]

[midnightssea]

I don’t want to read any think pieces about abortion at this point I just want everyone who disagrees with me to die

[marisatomay]

gearing up to be a huge bitch about every outfit at the met gala

[marypsue]

maybe this silly little coffee drink will equip me to face the unrelenting and unendurable horror of existence

[kitschcowboy]

feeling normal about that old man

[kitschcowboy]

no longer normal i need to fuck him

[ankle-beez]

listen im seeing a lot of people being like "oh my god thor might have a crush on Peter quill because of that scene in the new love and thunder trailer!" like no. Absolutely not. It's disney and it's never gonna happen. HOWEVER disney queerbaiting people with Chris Pratt might be the funniest thing they've ever done

[i-am-an-atomic-bomb]

[shinyeternatus-moving-deactivat]

ID: Tumblr tags that read, “#taika waititi having to put crisp rat in the movie: oh i just had the funniest idea ever” End ID

[jod13whittaker]

(Eta: there was an addition to this post that adds a bit more.)

I know the joke about Izzy is "human dropped into a muppets movie" but the tragedy is that he's a queer-coded character from some 1940s or 50s popcorn flick dropped into a pride parade in a floating gayborhood & he flat out has no idea how to deal with it. We learn he's a great swordsman in the most homoerotic way possible when he uses his skills to cut open a man's shirt. We see him react more openly and with less inner conflict when Ed slaps him on the back and says "I need you here" than when Ed implies to him, a minute earlier, that he could be a captain. When he's part of an overtly queer scene where other characters get the romance & he just gets the subtext, Con O'Neill's body language stands out even more—go back to the scene where Izzy tells Stede that Ed adores him, the way he strokes his fingers down the curtain dividing him from Stede. There is literally no straight explanation for this choice, but there is also no explicit acknowledgement that the character is queer; in a different, older show or movie, that body language would be the acknowledgment. He imbues the character with the looks and pauses that you would see in, like, Ben-Hur or something, where everyone knew a character was gay but nobody could say it out loud. Keep in mind that in the comedies where these characters would exist, the subtextually gay man would sometimes be best friends with a Strong Leading Man who got the girl in the end.

We hear him say outright that there's no retirement for people like Izzy & Ed, only death, which is itself a hugely loaded analogy next to the title statement "our flag means death" when you consider our history & our use of flags throughout. And Izzy's so focused on pure survival that he ends up nasty, manipulative, violent—the only way men like him can survive in his mind, or in the genre he's from, if they don't have a Strong Leading Man best friend like, say, a Blackbeard to protect him from the narrative. When Ed starts to live in Stede's world, Izzy is both losing his subtextual boyfriend and also acting as though Ed's going to get himself (and Izzy) killed if he keeps going down this path.

I will never be sane over this. Izzy is a Celluloid Closet case study who's been dropped into a Logo TV original, and so much of the conflict of his character comes from his trying to use the coping techniques from that world (including techniques used by queer coded villains! He's not healthy!) in a world where these techniques are actively harmful rather than a way to survive.

[gil-estel]

idk bro in one Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet are kiwis and the other one is a prequel to *Treasure Island* I don't think either one was really gunning for 100% historical accuracy

[egglands-worst]

i am normal about characters

[egglands-worst]

#said while gripping sink staring into mirror

[natjennie]

its actually kind of funny to think about the fact that stede didnt know he was gay. because bestie ur whole crew is. im like 98% sure lucius has tried to suck stede's dick at least once. everyone's limp wristing all over the place. you're flying pride flags baby. queer people flock to each other. who else is "uncomfortable in a married state" and leaves their rich wife and kids to be a pirate. literally only gay people. what did you THINK you were doing stede.

[forpiratereasons]

a modern day treasure hunt au where stede is On The Move and ed is following behind him narrating super hushed like a nature documentary presenter which should piss stede off but which keeps making him laugh accidentally like "and here we see our adult male getting distracted once again - he'll never provide for the pack at this rate, but the pack could be convinced to allow it if he promises to keep wearing those khaki shorts" followed by "judging by the look he's giving his mate, the shorts are in play but he's rethinking all his life choices - oh yes, oh yes, the eye roll is indicative but we can't always take this particular specimen at face value, note how he's also blushing, and oof - that bend over was definitely an invitation for later," until finally stede has his hands on the prize, resulting in a little cheer, "oh, he has provided for the pack tonight, only took him an hour and a half to manage it but he can return home with success and use his prize to woo his mate once again"

the treasure is the box of cheese crackers that were the last thing on stede's list. they are grocery shopping.

[exitwound]

literally do not ever trust anything bad you feel about your life between the hours of 11pm and 6am

[frottinq]

job site: hey apply here!

me: ok *clicks link*

new job site: Hey I see you wanted to apply for this job, why not make a new account, again, on this site, like you've done with every other job website you go to. also you know how you have your resume with all your work experience? go ahead and put that back in manually. Also here's a 135 question quiz about your personality. in fact why don't you write an essay about how much you fucking love this company before we've paid you even a penny.

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

and then they never contact you again

[itshardtoactnormal-blog]

I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better

[bisquid]

Also -

What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided?

Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM

It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat

[bungleboobs]

Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life.

[holisticfansstuff]

[abpoli]

[ignescent]

Reblogging for that last line “Participating in the world as it is does not disqualify you from trying to improve it.”

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

PARTICIPATING IN THE WORLD AS IT IS DOES NOT DISQUALIFY YOU FROM TRYING TO IMPROVE IT

[pearwaldorf]