the Star, the Idiot

Det här är jag. Stjärnan. Idioten. If you'd like to read about me in full, you can have a look at my 'About Me' post, which can conveniently be found via the tag of the same name. In short, I write things. Poems. Stories. Thoughts. Thanks for visiting my blog. Have a good read.

[the-star-the-idiot]

I Haven't Flown in so Long

I let myself crash, Found a spot to make my very own crater, They'll never name it after me, But it's mine all the same.

I spent a long time in the stratosphere, Floating in my own world, But something caught my eye, And I had to see it up close.

I'm not sure I have wings anymore, Maybe they burned as I dove headfirst, Maybe I was a beautiful meteor, Maybe I was unseen.

Regardless, I feel so grounded now, As if I'm supposed to be here, And I think I love it.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Your Scalp Feels like Happiness

I crawled my way through your hair, Exploring your scalp, Caressing the surface with each movement, Searching for a way in.

A way into your dreams, Where I could find a hill, Where I could set up camp, Where I could plant a seed.

A seed that would grow An oak of unfathomable size Which would sprout leaves made of me And bring colour to your slumber.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Strings of Another World

I exist outside the realm, Not this, but another, One you've never heard of, I sewed electrons Into the fabric of time, But time is ever-changing, Ever-relative, And where the seams burst You emerged to see me, And I let you in To see what I made, And I invited you to stay, But you spat in my face, Yet I respected your choice, For in another time, Were I another beast, I would have done the same.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Food for Thought

I cut my thumb Thinking of you, And stared at the liquid rose Before I licked my wound, Thinking to myself, If I had slipped some into the salad, If you had had a little bit of me In every bite you took, Would you have loved me more?

"Surely," I thought to myself, "Surely you would."

But what good would it have done When I broke your fingers Every time I placed mine over them?

[the-star-the-idiot]

The Chapel of Saint Miranda

A hollow shell of a woman sat In the empty hall Of the Chapel of Saint Miranda, Her eyes removed, Resting in the palm of her hands, Her teeth pulled out, Lying scattered around her husk, Her blood drained Into bottles lined up behind her, Her bones mixed With clay into a strong ceramic, Her skin embalmed So she would keep her shape, Her tongue taken By the Saint herself to keep In a glass jar With the others she made hers To harmonise The hymn she composed for crows.

Soon the hall would be empty once more, For a hollow shell of a woman Made for a great addition To Miranda’s collection Of statues posted atop her chapel roof.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #367

A memory of an emotion, But not of what evoked it, Left me wondering, If it ever truly mattered.

A memory of a sensation, But not of what was perceived, Left me pondering, If it ever truly existed.

A memory of a person, But not the face they wore, Left me thinking, If they ever truly had a name.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Dedicated to a Ghost

Tonight is one of those nights Where all I can think of is you.

I wonder how you’re doing, Wherever you might be.

I hope you’re doing better. I hope you’re relieved of bad days.

I still cry sometimes, When I think about your birthday.

I still cry sometimes, When I think about the day you went away.

I hope you’re doing better without me Than I am without you.

Yours truly, always. The Star. The Idiot.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #262

A candle lit in your honour. A candle lit in your name. I wish I had spoken to you more. Now instead I talk to the flame.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Here’s to you, Ghost.

Today is the day, When we cherish the memory, Of a Ghost once dear to us.

Keep reading

[the-star-the-idiot]

The Things You Did to Me

You touched me and I froze half to death, You signed your name on my body and I lost my breath, You carved a heart into my chest with your nails, You held me by the throat at the edge over the rails, You looked into my eyes and I saw a dead stare, You chose violence upon my faulty hardware, You slit a thin line into my arm and peeled away my skin, You ripped my flesh out and hung it to dry with a grin, You stitched me back together and let my blood, Reanimate me like barren landscape after a flood, You signed your name on my body and I felt a tear, Form a line down my face as I realised I wasn’t worse for wear.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #366

I cut myself when I punched through a car window, On another rainy day while the radio played, Another fucking happy song, For another fucking set of happy people, I can’t do what they do, I can’t fake the smile they pull off so genuinely, I can’t pretend to vibe the way they do so real, All I can do is write another letter, From the bottom of my heart, To the outer walls of my being, Begging that this time I won’t feel so guilty, For hurting myself yet again, Praying that this time I won’t feel so evil, For killing the flies crawling out of my scars, Hoping that this time I won’t tie another rope, And hang another set of dreams up to die.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #129

On the first day of the year, People celebrated the anniversary Of a dead girl.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Happy birthday, Ghost.

[theadventureto-be]

I crawled through your heart // and felt your sadness // like a warm blanket rolled over me // I was a comfort burrito // and though you were down in a slump // I still loved you

this is amazing

lov u v much

[the-star-the-idiot]

Glad you liked it ♥

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #365

I crawled through your heart, And felt your sadness, Like a warm blanket rolled over me, I was a comfort burrito, And though you were down in a slump, I still loved you.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #364

There is a crack in the pavement, Every night I watch moths crawl out of it, I observe them as they spread their wings, All the same colours, All the same pattern, I want to catch one, Keep it in a tree in my backyard, Let it grow a lineage, That will eat away at the leaves, Until winter comes and nothing remains, They will all be memories forgotten, But the moths will still be there, Ready to hatch again come spring, Ready to crawl out of that crack in the pavement, And I will watch them eat away at my world.

[the-star-the-idiot]

Eroticism and Pain are the Same to Us

We fight for control, Every night with the lights off, I’ll grab you by the neck, Pin you against the wall, You’ll pull a knife, Hold it close to me, I’ll sink my teeth in, Drink your blood fresh, You’ll slit my throat deep, Watch it spill down my chest, Not just mine, But yours as well, We’ll let it mix before it hits the floor, While we tear each other’s rags off, Revealing our scarred canvases, I wonder what to draw on you this time, My mind races at the thought, Of what you’ll carve into me, You love it when I hurt you, I love it when you love me.

[the-star-the-idiot]

A Little Thingy I Wrote #363

I am still here, Still a meek flower, Facing an approaching hurricane, My stem is weak, My pedals tremble, But the storm feels nothing, It’s the embodiment, Of destructive indifference, And I, The meek flower, Can only wait, To be swept up, To have myself ripped from me, To be destroyed before the seasons shift.