Taylor listened closely to Hugo, watching him carefully. And as he spoke, he set his own wine down, turning to face him as well. This was important, and he could tell that Hugo was nervous. And- once he had finished, Taylor thought for a moment, looking down slightly. Something serious? Something….real? Taylor had never really thought of finding a real relationship since his husband died, but Hugo…He was so sweet and down to earth and-no, this was different, much different from before.
Taking a deep breath, Taylor looked up at the other, taking his hand “I- would like that very much, but..” he bit his lip slightly “When- I’m working on a wedding, I’m very busy, and I’m worried I..what if I don’t have time? I- don’t want you to feel as if I don’t care or…” great, now he sounded nervous, but also somewhat defeated “I really like you Hugo, and I don’t want to waste your time. I know relationships are a lot of work in itself, and there’s….” he sighs “I don’t want to disappoint you with a poorly proportioned relationship. To have you put work in for me, and I just-” his other hand covered his mouth, his eyes looking downwards, the other hand still holding onto Hugo’s, thinking.
It wasn’t that he wouldn’t have time for him. He was scared. He was afraid of losing someone again, and he wasn’t sure if he could even live knowing that he could lose Hugo if they got serious.
“I- want to. You’re..so charming, sweet, intelligent I-” Taylor chuckled nervously “I suppose I’m just being silly- feeling absolutely terrified of things. No control over what could happen if-” his hand squeezed slightly on the fabric of his shirt, just over his heart. He looked a little panicked, but his smile never wavered.
Hugo waited patiently as Taylor talked. When he thought, there would be not much more coming from him, he took Taylor's hand and calmly covered it in both of his own. It felt a little odd, how perfectly that small hand fit into his his huge finger-shovels.
Never breaking eye-contact with Taylor, he offered him a warm smile. When he spoke, his voice was calm and showed no sign of disappointment, or exasperation, only warm understanding.
"I think, we both are a little too old for that whole 'joined by the hip' stereotype, anyways. We both have jobs, that require hard work and sometimes it requires overtime as well. I just-... I just want this to be real, Taylor. I don't expect you to move into my house on a whim, or spend every evening, having fancy dinner with me. Just the feeling of realness."
Rolling his shoulders to relieve a little of the tension, he had subconsciously built up, he thought on his next words for a moment, before speaking again.
"I want to be at school, grading tests and think of you, knowing that we are more than just... well. I don't- I think, I can't to hasty and excessive anyways. But with you- I feel, that with you doing slow and comfortable will be just as, if not even more fulfilling. How about it? Does that sound like something, worth trying?"
