Batfamily Comm Lines pt. 16
Damian: Is that Drake over there?
Jason: Yep. Barbs, can you link us to his comm line, please?
Oracle: *low chucking* Have funnn.
*typing noises, comm line pings*
Jason: Replacement, what's up? Thought it was your night off.
Tim: *grumbling* Suppose to be but Dickās been kidnapped and B's at some W.E function.
Jason: *chuckling* You'd think Dick's asking for this shit to happen at this point.
Tim: Right?! He's been snatched up more than all of us combined.
Damian: Is this a common occurrence or�
Jason: All of us have been kidnapped at some point. Never longer than a day though.
Damian: *sarcastically* Oh that is just-How comforting.
Tim: *humming* He still has his comms so heās been contacting me.
Jason: *snorting* No shot. Those dumbasses didnāt frisk him?
Damian: We fought an adult who uses condiments as his main form of weapons last week but two random men not frisking Grayson is unbelievable?
Tim: Shut up. I'll link you two to the comm line.
Dick: How much are you asking for? Oh. No. Nothing-Just. Heās a billionaire, ya know? You could ask for more.
Damian: *disbelief* Mother sent me to Gotham to widen my horizons and my eldest brother is giving his kidnappers ransom advice.
Jason: *laughing* It's kinda insulting when they try to lowball your abduction, you know?
Damian: *deadpanned* Fortunately, Father has several sons remaining should they kill Grayson.
*the sound of a door closing can be heard*
Dick: Alrighty. They left.
Dick: What makes you think that my kidnappers told me where they were going?
Damian: I do not understand why you donāt simply break out from your bonds and escape. You are a trained vigilante.
Dick: Thatās Nightwing. Iām a citizen right now. I can't just cartwheel my way out and knock 'em out.
Jason: Bruce said to always wait for someone to show up, can't risk our cover being blown.
Damian: So I am just meant to allow myself to be taken? The contingency plan is to remain a damsel in distress?
Tim: *snickering* I think you'd piss them off so quick that they'd return your ass.
Jason: *clapping noises* Do you remember when I got kidnapped the first time and I was like *wheezes* so over the bullshit that I annoyed them and they broke my nose-
Damian: Do you remember when you annoyed the monks Grandfather had invited? One of them broke his monastic silence to scold you.
Dick: *cackling* YOU FUCKING JACKASS.
Jason: *giggling* Hey- Hey, I was asking if they could teach me those techniques that B knows. Those Tibetan Monks taught him fucking everything. Anyways-Obviously after, the police had to document it for evidence and Dick was like ' What adult hasn't hit you?'
Tim: And people still think Dick is a little fucking goody-two shoes. Dick needed to medicated.
Dick: *grunting slightly* He switched my lactose-free milk to regular, I was blowin' up the toilet all night *wheezes* Alright, the ropes off, come in and save me, cupcake. I can hear them coming up the stairs.
Damian: *disgusted* Were you drugged? I say we let them keep him.
Dick: Thanks for the concern of my well-being, Dami.
Damian: This is not the first or last time you will be abducted. Iām saving my concern for something more imminent.
Tim: Gotta do everything myself. I'll be right there *grappling hook noise*
*Tim grunting as he opens the window, slipping in. Door opening can be heard*
Unidentified male voice in the background: Oh shit.
Dick: Oh my-It's Red Robin. *swooning voice* He's come to rescue me from you naughty boys. Help me, Red Robin!
Tim: I know this is a hostage negotiation thing ya got going but if you wanna shoot him, I'll look the other way.
Dick: What the fuck. You're suppose to be my hero!
Unidentified male voice in the background: I was just trying to get money for the boy but-I guess we can hold Robin hostage too..
Tim: *irritated* Red Robin. It's Red Robin. Not Robin. Iām not a twelve year old boy.
Unidentified second male voice: Well to be fair, you guys all look the fucking same after a while. Howās someone suppose to know?
Dick: *wheezing* He is so right. You two look exactly alike. Got that same build.
Damian: *hissing into the comm* Drake has that malnutrition build that people form when they lose a spleen. My body is a temple.
Tim: Shoot him. JUST SHOOT HIM. FORGET THE MONEY. I HEARD BRUCE WAYNE HAS LOTS OF KIDS. HE CAN BURY THIS ONE NEXT TO JASON TODD.
Jason: What the fuck did I do!
Tim:-JOKING. I WAS JOKING. *punching noises can be heard*
Dick: Oh no! The violence! My poor eyes. Where is Bruce? I want my dad!
Jason: Babs, next time don't link us to Tim's line.
Oracle: I told you to have fun *snickering*
Damian: Should I ever get kidnapped, are you going to behave this way?
Jason: Who says I'm answering your call?