As a woman who struggled with her sexuality all her life until very recently (in terms of figuring it out, I’m still struggling because of homophobia lol), I just want questioning women to know that if you’ve been pondering on it for a long, long, long ass time, and it causes you genuine pain and distress when you tell yourself “I’m not bi/a lesbian”, I’m pretty sure you’re not straight.
A huge part of homophobic manipulation against gay women, is to convince them that their love for women is lesser than their love for men (even when we don’t genuinely have it in the case of lesbians), it’s to find every possible way as to why this or that discounts what is obvious attraction to other women.
If you feel within yourself the words “I want to be bi” or “I want to be a lesbian”; I’m pretty sure you are.
How many straight women do you know that hold enough respect for gay women’s identities that they’re willing to suffer in confusion and loneliness for years?
Which straight woman would want to be bi/a lesbian THAT badly that it causes her genuine pain to think she’s not really one? It’s not like being gay grants us any benefits that straight women would DIE for. Literally the only thing in it for any woman is the opportunity to be with women, so if you’re in pain for thinking you’re straight, you’re in pain because you think you’ll never be able to love and be with other women.
Out bi and lesbian women who’re usually sure of their identities and who live their lives as gay women do also question whether they’re “faking” it or not, and it causes us tremendous distress to feel that maybe we’re fakes! Which is clearly something you share with us.
Those aren’t straight feelings. Stop picking yourself apart so much. The only requirement to be a gay woman is to want to be with women.
Welcome home, my loves.
