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if i look back, i am lost
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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shark vs the universe
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@theangrylesbian
Me at 4:50am: I’m thriving. I’m happy and enjoying life for the first time in years
Me at 4:51am: I don’t deserve to fucking live
i had a dream that i saw avengers 4 and the after credits scene was deadpool starting a gofundme so he could be in the next one
Your heart is so full of hatred, you are not fit to be a king.
Danai Gurira as Okoye in Black Panther (2018)
wow me
to be honest, oh my fucking god
Imagine the raw energy of Depression vs. Anxiety that would happen if Bo Burnham and John Mulaney did a show together
When a customer says some Weird Shit in the middle of check-out,
Okay, so very recently, I was cashiering for Publix, and it was late at night, and I actually didn’t wanna be there, go figure. So this woman walks up, buying about 15-20 items, which is a pretty clean run for me, so I’m scanning her groceries, and we carry a small conversation.
During this conversation, she asks me if I’m in school, and I say yes. I tell her about how exams went, as they were near that period, and told her I had a Biology exam that was over genetics. And she looks me straight in the eyes, with seriousness of a heart attack being read in every wrinkle of her white soccer mom face, and says: “Oh, I’m a Christian, I don’t believe in genetics.”
Flabbergasted. My eyes do that spinny rainbow thing that Apple computers do when theyre buffering. A second goes by. I’ve gone through all stages of grief at this point, but haven’t reached acceptance. I have to say something, I have to say SOMETHING. If I just stare at her through this, she’ll know I think she’s fucking dumb and she might get angry, and I don’t need that. Two seconds have gone by. I have stopped scanning groceries at this point, and am just being violently shot back and forth between two sections of the galaxy. I can feel my body taking leave of my soul. Three seconds. I have to say something.
“Anyway, I did well on my accounting exam, so that’s something. Do you have any coupons?”
this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it
*jaws music plays in the background*
me, oversharing on the internet about my issues
ghostbusters?
taking over! i’m
virgin!
lesbians wear stuff your dad would wear but in a really hip way. that’s our contribution to popular culture.
We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.
Love, Simon but it’s narrated by John Mulaney
“I really like girls” I said, you know, like a liar