I am an artist, writer, teacher, and lifelong student (at the time of writing this, I'm two weeks from graduating with my second degree). I've been writing since I was a kid, starting with fanfiction like many of my age; however, I didn't start writing seriously until 2022. I was tired of never finishing a single project, so I told myself I couldn't write fanfiction or start another project until I finished my primary project (Nightmares + Serenades). Romance and fantasy have always been the genres closest to me, but the dark Gothic side of life has grasped me in its cold embrace. One word that many peers and betas have used to describe my writing is "immense."
I'm a writer who loves:
🩸 All things Gothic: Horror, Romance, and Fantasy
There's something about the Gothic and Romantic era of literature, I have discovered in my studies, that so uniquely describes the human condition in earnest without shying away from what ugliness lies underneath. Gothic works, like Gothic Horror, Romance, or Fantasy, excavate the coffin from the earth, and even in the face of death, they hold the truth with such tender embrace. The most inspirational authors to me are Mary Shelley and Nathaniel Hawthorne.
💀 Themes on Identity, Corruption, Memory, Beauty in the grotesque, Forbidden knowledge, Worship, devotion, and sacrifice, Multiplicity of truths, and Moral ambiguity
🧛 I adore the arts: writing it, studying it, annotating it, reading it, creating it, listening to it...
I’m fascinated by:
🕷️ Mythology; Psychology; Theological worldbuilding (specifically Pluralistic Polytheism); and Philosophy
I devour:
🕸️ angst with payoff; complicated characters making terrible choices; dangerous romance; soft moments amid brutality; poetic gore; dark academia; and slow burn (painfully slow)
🕸️corruption arcs; vampires / fae / celestial beings; morally gray love interest; and enemies to lovers
On this blog you’ll find:
🌑 writing thoughts
🌒 excerpts & worldbuilding rambles
🌓 aesthetics & art
🌘 personal notes & inspiration
If you’re here, welcome. I hope you find something worth staying for.
When I read anything (usually), I look for multiple things: new vocabulary, historical keystones, symbolism, and really anything I find particularly special. This, of course, shifts slightly when reading within nonfiction, but not by much. Then, with whichever genre I'm reading, I'll write brief definitions, thoughts, ideas, or symbols to the side, creating a decently full spread from time to time.
Most people may enjoy the aesthetics of the annotated marginalia of a given spread, but find the actual process and the time sink quite daunting and purposeless, because am I, as the author of these notes, really enjoying the story for its fiction? They would argue, most likely not.
However, as odd as it may seem for leisure readers, dissecting the fiction is part of the fun and enjoyment of the fiction. I don't usually pick up a book for escape, but also to see what I can learn about moral philosophy and themes that would make any book feel like it's a look into the greater subconscious. Not only to learn about humanity within varying characters but also to learn how the story works to because a better author myself.
To create something impactful, there's more than just picking out famous quotes and tired symbolism and tropes. There needs to be something unique to an experience and history that will be emulated in fiction.
A white wedding dress means nothing but the typical aesthetic of a Westerner's "happiest day". But if looked deeper, we see conformity, then even deeper, we see why the white wedding dress is the standard, and if we, as an author or thinker on society, wish to maintain or subvert this visual and meaning. Is it relevant to our character? To our setting? To our morals and values?
This not only helps the author in me but also informs my philosophy on life and how to see the world in a more unique and coloured manner.
Reading, for me, is an opportunity to learn and self-improve in various subjects.
Even when I find myself reading something like The Picture of Dorian Grey, where it's near impossible for me to pause and engage in the fiction in my usual way, it still teaches me. Perhaps it's the style that I don't enjoy and would not want to replicate. Maybe it's the characters' personalities that oppose mine too blatantly to inform immediate commentary, but would rather need extended and deeper analysis that would be impossible and too ridiculous, even for me, to attempt to constrain to margins. Could it be that the symbolism is too simple, that it doesn't invoke the amount of consideration? Or maybe, very simply put, even applied to nonfiction like a textbook, I have found something to read when too tired or it's not being understood as well as I'd like.
I value education and self-improvement and use readings as a tool to achieve such an opportunity outside of strict academic institutions. This rather demanding "hobby" then bleeds into other mediums such as music, film, and games, where I can appreciate when the most "cult hated" titles in an eye-opening way that shows the artistic attempts made even if it didn't land as intended or to as wide as an audience.
If nothing else, this particular view on media creates a worldview that is fueled less by disappointment and more by creative admiration for at least one quality the media personally achieved.
However, the main drawback from this creative and academic drive is the lack of people who share such deep analysis and enjoyment. It's harder to engage in a sphere that is saturated and divided by good and bad, such hotly polarising opinions. While my individual enjoyment has increased, my connectivity to community feels weaker.
I hate that feeling of mental immobility when I WANT to be productive, but by wanting to be productive deepens that paralysis and increases the mental fatigue I want to be rid of.
Anyways, I am taking recommendations and motivating friendships for cures :D
I've been using an old a6 sketchbook split in 3 parts for my note-taking: personal, work, and writing. im nearly out of pages for the work section, so im looking for a new (maybe a6 or a5) (faded) dotted or graphed journal.
I really think i'd like a softcover one that's either refillable or could fit into a travel journal cover. either a fat book that lays flat or multiple thin ones i can stack inside the travel cover.
if y'all have any recommendations, PLEASE let me know. I'd prefer to buy from a business directly than to buy from Amazon or Coupang. And im scared of TikTok shop.
I’m half way through this book and still I haven’t made any notable annotations outside of vocabulary. Which this, not annotating, is highly uncommon for me.
Idk if it’s the book and it feels too simple to me (outside of its elaborate prose) or if the stress I have outside of the book from life is making it difficult.
Usually I note things of social and historical importance which seems it would be relevant here. However since I feel as though Lord Henry is basically a Reddit ragebaiter trying to make his bad ideas sound enlightening with flowery words, I don’t take anything he says seriously which is …. 80% of the book.
That’s not to say I don’t enjoy the book and find it easy to continue reading, because I’ve stopped much more digestible books sooner. Though it does make my key joint hobby of annotating difficult.
If anyone has a differing view or a tip on what I should annotate please let me know.
I am an artist, writer, teacher, and lifelong student (at the time of writing this, I'm two weeks from graduating with my second degree). I've been writing since I was a kid, starting with fanfiction like many of my age; however, I didn't start writing seriously until 2022. I was tired of never finishing a single project, so I told myself I couldn't write fanfiction or start another project until I finished my primary project (Nightmares + Serenades). Romance and fantasy have always been the genres closest to me, but the dark Gothic side of life has grasped me in its cold embrace. One word that many peers and betas have used to describe my writing is "immense."
I'm a writer who loves:
🩸 All things Gothic: Horror, Romance, and Fantasy
There's something about the Gothic and Romantic era of literature, I have discovered in my studies, that so uniquely describes the human condition in earnest without shying away from what ugliness lies underneath. Gothic works, like Gothic Horror, Romance, or Fantasy, excavate the coffin from the earth, and even in the face of death, they hold the truth with such tender embrace. The most inspirational authors to me are Mary Shelley and Nathaniel Hawthorne.
💀 Themes on Identity, Corruption, Memory, Beauty in the grotesque, Forbidden knowledge, Worship, devotion, and sacrifice, Multiplicity of truths, and Moral ambiguity
🧛 I adore the arts: writing it, studying it, annotating it, reading it, creating it, listening to it...
I’m fascinated by:
🕷️ Mythology; Psychology; Theological worldbuilding (specifically Pluralistic Polytheism); and Philosophy
I devour:
🕸️ angst with payoff; complicated characters making terrible choices; dangerous romance; soft moments amid brutality; poetic gore; dark academia; and slow burn (painfully slow)
🕸️corruption arcs; vampires / fae / celestial beings; morally gray love interest; and enemies to lovers
On this blog you’ll find:
🌑 writing thoughts
🌒 excerpts & worldbuilding rambles
🌓 aesthetics & art
🌘 personal notes & inspiration
If you’re here, welcome. I hope you find something worth staying for.
Romantic literature has been my favourite era for a while, and there's no wonder why...
Let me perhaps be controversial for a moment:
Because what do you mean, in the West, it took 1,800 years to champion individuality as a literary focus? to relieve alienation through the catharsis of literature?
There must be something so captivating about reading the West's first widespread attempts at fictionalised and artistic self-expression and humanity in a world that now, even in some cases the East, takes it all for granted. Today is saturated with the self-expressive, so that it can become lost to us.
It's not so surprising that there's as many anti-expressionists (in the mode of imitation of the "ideal") as there are, since this seems to be such a new, and perhaps terrifying, reality and option for people. Many of the recent authoritarian rhetoric seem to have come after the self-expressive have been illuminated.
And this interestingly creates a revised and freeing lens here to apply to today's media output, being over-dependent on remakes, sequels, retelling, reimagining of... the "ideal".
It is then our responsibility as Romantics to preserve self-expression so it's not again dominated by more imitationist critics, and not just in literature.
I'm aware of some flippant claims, but this is my immediate and responsive reaction to Romanticism as an era.
Identify “style leakage” (what changes unintentionally across drawings)
Below are my most recent and/or liked works I've done. I've REALLY struggled with having a constant style, AND worse so, rendering method as you will see.
I'll start from oldest to newest because I built upon what I liked about each.
The fully coloured images on the right are the oldest works. I like flat renders with building colours. I also really like monochrome. The issue here is that it looks unfinished. It's also difficult for me to stick with a stylised sketch, which you can see on the far left (the faint yellow sketch); my default is semi-realism.
The style here is a decent consistency, and I do still really like these. Though the style-leakage here is mostly line-art.
This is my pencil brush test using only 1 brush per sketch. Here is when I decided to double down on the pencil style, partly because I think it captures the mood I'm aiming for more easily.
Not really any style leakage here, since this is a study.
Following this, I decided to sketch out my OCs. Where again, you see the guy from above. This sketching/line-art method is the most comfortable for me. It feels very natural; very minimal tools were used, trying to capture that traditional art medium. Here, you can see how semi-realism is my default; these characters are visually pretty similar to each other with little variation.
Here, the style leakage lies in the eyes and shading.
I then tried to continue this style with new characters and attempt rendering. This... This is where things get ugly... literally. This is perhaps the worst rendering I've done in recent memory. If you look closely, the sketching is the same, but the application of colour is the weakest part, which has also been a large issue for me. So merging sketch with flat rendering was NOT the answer.
I honestly hate looking at these characters in colour, but also in just a sketch, not because they're bad, but because these characters don't look how I want them to. The above characters all came out fluidly and nearly perfect the first try (except one). There issue here is originality in terms of face design. I'm sure some people could probably even recognise the exact references I used.
Style leakage is clearly rendering and then shading, again.
Now, my most recent work is this Spider-Man sketch I drew using the same pencil brushes, which has been the most consistent thing, which is progress! I then finally tried the full hatching render, which I really love, as with the colours. However, I do worry about rendering ease and colour consistency moving forward. The colours here were achieved with the BURN filter.
Here, the semi-realism is probably the style leakage. Since it is Spider-Man with his mask, it's difficult to fully tell where realism dies and stylistic-ness is born.
You may also notice these are all character sketches with a total lack of composition and background. Those are things I haven't ventured into much, since I've never even been confident in characters.
The Self-Style & Reflection Assignment will come next.
I've been using an old a6 sketchbook split in 3 parts for my note-taking: personal, work, and writing. im nearly out of pages for the work section, so im looking for a new (maybe a6 or a5) (faded) dotted or graphed journal.
I really think i'd like a softcover one that's either refillable or could fit into a travel journal cover. either a fat book that lays flat or multiple thin ones i can stack inside the travel cover.
if y'all have any recommendations, PLEASE let me know. I'd prefer to buy from a business directly than to buy from Amazon or Coupang. And im scared of TikTok shop.
how to make a mini library of alexandria (on a laptop) and actually use it: short guide
So what do I mean by this
Basically
Read a lot. Learn a lot by reading a lot
Knowing where to read a lot, have variety ykwim
Be smart but the chaotic academic way
In this age, it is very important to educate yourself if the world won’t do it for you
WHERE TO FIND INFORMATION
First, how do you find places to lurk in and gain info from (for books):
Where to find recommendations : literally anywhere but my favorite place is pinterest
Read for free: onlinereadfreenovel.com , novel80.com,
Download for free : OceanofPDF , Planet eBook, d-pdf.com, pdfdrive.com, even pinterest (I once found the entire cruel prince series and the heroes of olympus series on it)
Yeah a library is a place of books, but most importantly, it's a hub of knowledge . Some places where you can learn a lot of include: articles, channels, interviews, websites, audiobooks, aka the media
HOW TO LEARN AND INTERACT WITH THIS INFO
How to force yourself to learn it in the first place: Have the page up and let it sit there on an interesting page (or article or point of the movie) so that when you remember and glance at it you’ll want to read or know more and keep going.
The best way to know a lot about something is to deep dive into it and the best way to do that is to rabbit hole. For medias and books, you can start by researching:
Their sources
Their author/directors/creator’s : other works, inspirations or any considered successor, life (specific experiences that might have shaped who they are)
How to interact with the knowledge you’ve just learn
Discuss it, debate it, teach it, sing it, write it, just share it
HOW TO ORGANIZE ALL THESE BOOKS (what I do)
Make folders on File Explorer or alternatives (for e.g. i have a folder of all my books and another for my movies with subfolders)
Make lists of books you have and books on the tbr list
Sites/apps for notetaking : Notion, Obsidian, Arena, Milanote
this is kinda rushed and weird but I liked making this so yeah!
There are four things I found particularly interesting when reading the introduction to Marxist Theory: ISAs, Fetishism of Commodity, Commodification, and counterhegemony vs hegemony.
Firstly, Marx found a direct tie between art and political ideology. The idea states “art held mixed and contradictory messages that reflect the broad social milieu,” which leads into “counterhegemonic images suggesting liberatory possibilities and a socially critical undertone.” Marx’s idea on art holding both political and social commentary quickly reminded me of the increasingly common saying, “art/music/movies aren’t political,” which seems as though, in my own understanding, that this is anti-Marxist---an interesting idea to ponder in a hyper-capitalist society. Especially when one considers the modes of nonviolent persuasion (ISAs), to which literature, music, school, and church belong. Dividing the two benefits the method of retaining the status quo without much deeper inspection.
Congruently, the fetishisation of commodity separates the labourer from their labour. If a commodity is so removed from the creator, we forget creation and increase the displacement of use value in favour of economic value. Again, I was reminded of another common saying: “Separate the art from the artist.” The purpose seems plain in its use: to remove the horrid acts of the creator from the art you enjoy; however, it sparked a similar inquiry to the former saying, that it, too, is anti-Marxist in nature. Because the creator of Harry Potter is anything but good-natured, it should not deter you from enjoying her works. Perhaps, but what’s more important is whether you still fund her commodity. Giving her money is an issue of moral values, but it is also an issue of economic value. Separating her from her commodity may benefit the capitalist agenda than it benefits the consumer; it still circulates.
Additionally, as we further separate these qualities from one another, it then leads to a more pressing absence of moral values. In a society where only the product is valued, we dehumanise it and its creator. People are only a means to an end for economic prosperity. Animation and games are mere products to be sold, for example. The work of the artists is a product and not art; they stand beside. This has led to the reification of their positions, where that now work more in short periods of time to meet product deadlines. Actors and actresses are to be bought to boost any given film. Musicians/singers are sold songs written for others that are meant to be repeatedly streamed. War is continued to retain demand for technology. With an economic value-based system, artists, inventors, and politicians are not honoured for their work, but for how much they sell for. Are they creating something to be valued genuinely in use, or are they bought and put in a place, like slaves, to increase product demand? My following inquiry was: Is slavery inherently capitalistic? It seems so. It’s most definitely materialistic and immoral.
It then begs the question, yes, if works are anti-conformity, yet become a wide genre, such as rap or punk, they then become the norm and the product of economic value. All ideals they may push may reach more people, but in a monetary-based society where moral value and creator are removed, do those ideals truly reach anyone? This wraps back to the saying, “Art/music/movies aren’t political.” Because if it were to the hegemonic value, they wouldn’t bolster the art; thus it is another way to restrict deeper analysis from what we intake---diffusing radical opinion and change.
There is a quite nihilistic question here, because can counterhegemonic agendas create possible change to the systematic status quo?
If only I could describe to you the horrors of my nightmares that captured the betrayal, fear, imprisonment, pain, loss, and helplessness both emotionally and physically. Visually and sensually.
