Hi, Im Chloë @theatredeslestat - Tumblr Blog

The inescapable guilt

Written by Theatredeslestat

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I haven't written in a bit because life has been busy but I finally finished this one. Thank you in advance for reading, and feel free to let me know what you think

xoxo - Theatredeslestat

Summary: Since William's fathers tragic death, it was up to him to keep the family afloat. His good for nothing, violent, drunk of a brother was useless and with his poor mother's health declining as the months went on, the financial burden fell solely on him. He was only 20 years old, but he took it in stride. He worked hard to finally be able to improve their situation, only for it to all come crashing down in one fateful night. The night that would haunt John for the rest of his life.

Word count: 8519

Trigger Warnings:

DARK SUBJECT MATTER

Violence, Death, Verbal abuse, Alcohol abuse, Murder, Implied psychosis, Mentions of an asylum

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The year was 1906, a young wannabe fisherman by the name of William worked by the docks cleaning out the fish traps and tying up the boats as they docked. He wanted nothing more to get on those boats and spend his day on the water, fishing and laughing as he soaked up the sweltering Louisiana sun. He’d gotten to go once or twice when he was a small boy, but since his father's tragic death, poor William got stuck doing the dirty work to help support his family. His older brother John was too busy drinking away the family money to actually help in any capacity, so the duty solely fell on William. John was almost 33 with no bride or children to claim the family “fortune”, to their mother's dismay. Her health was declining with age but the stress of trying to keep John afloat was surely going to drive her into an early death. She loved her sons, but since the death of her dear husband, she couldn’t help but worry about the family name. John was all but useless, and William was making barely enough money to get dinner on the table, and the money that William's father made, well John had been gambling it away for years and now drinking it. There was nothing left.

William spent the entire day on the docks, from sunup to sundown he was there, ready to do everything and anything he was asked in order to hopefully make some extra pocket money. He had been secretly putting away a few cents here and there to save up for a fishing boat. Nothing fancy, just something to safely get him out there. He considered it an investment into the future of his family. After his father's passing, he had to sell the family boat to pay off his debts. It devastated them, but it was the only option. He knew his brother would be livid if he found out he had been keeping money away from the family but he hoped that once he got the new boat and got out there to fish, he’d forget all about it and celebrate the larger sum of money that would start coming in.

He finished a particularly long day and walked home. Dumping his pockets out onto his bed to count his change. Gasping as he finished his count, “I did it!” He quietly exclaimed to himself. He sat back on his heels as he shook his head in disbelief. He counted the money again, and again, and once more just to make sure it was true. And it was. The long, grueling hours finally paid off; he could get the small boat. 30 dollars, all to himself. All for him to better the life they’d been living. He wiped his nose on his sleeve before standing up, tears burning the corner of his eyes as he fought against them. He wished his father was here so he could show him all the hard work had paid off. He wished he was there to pat him on the back and show how proud he was. He softly sniffled before hiding the money in an old shoe box under his bed, the one place his brother wouldn’t look when he was in one of his desperate drunken stupors. With a sigh, he exited his shared room to help his mother place the food on the table. They sat in a comfortable silence as she put her hands together to pray, clearing her throat as she closed her eyes and bowed her head. William does the same, inattentively listening to his mother's voice as she says the same thing she says every night. He never really was one for religion, but he liked seeing the comfort it brought his mother. His mind wandered, all he could think about was the boat... his boat. The pride and excitement bubbled in his stomach. Tomorrow, everything will change.

William listened to his mother talk about her day and the gossip she heard from one of the neighbour ladies. “According to Lillian, the neighbour girl? You remember her, right?” William replied with a simple “mmhm” before his mother continued on with her words, “she had seen John rummaging about in their little barn. Heaven knows what he was looking for in there but apparently, he was stumbling around half yelling about some nonsense, and he absolutely trashed the place. She was saying how he tore up some of the floorboards and knocked over kerosene cans. The whole place could have been burned!” She let out a defeated sigh before resting her hand over her mouth in near disbelief. “That sounds like John, that's for sure.” William said coldly as he stood to clear the table. She shook her head and wiped a stray tear from her cheek, “Well, that is not the boy I raised. I don't know who that is anymore, that's not my John. He’s got the devil in him.” “I know mama, I know.” William leaned down to kiss her head, grabbing her plate to finish the washing. “I'm going to bed early. I don't want to see his face if he comes back here tonight.” She announced with a soft sniffle, gripping the table edge hard to aid her movement. “Do you need me?” William asked as he placed the towel on the countertop, rushing over to his mother to grab her elbow. “No, no. I can do it.” She insisted, shooing William's hand away with a soft swat. He let go but lingered close behind, just in case. She patted his hand, holding it in hers for a quiet moment before showing him a tired smile.

William turned on his heals and walked back to the sink. He stood in silence for a while, trying to clear his thoughts. He held the damp towel hard, gripping it till his knuckles turned white, and his fingers ached. He shivered from the growing tension that crept up his spine. John was going to send their poor maman into an early grave, and he couldn’t stomach the thought of it. He threw the towel onto the floor and gripped the edge of the counter as he stared out the window. The kitchen lights cast a soft glow out onto the near pitch-black grass. He watched as the wind blew through the large cypress trees, the majestic feathery needles dancing with each gust. The ground glistening as the light reflected off the nearly dried up swamp that he used to catch small crayfish in as a child. The memory pulling a soft smile out from within his brooding face. He remembered perching himself on the edge of the water, holding his flimsy little net firmly in his small hands as his father quietly encouraged him, “Come on now, you got it. Don’t lean too far though or you’ll end up joining the damn mudbugs.” He let out a soft chuckle as he walked over to William, “Here,” he started, “hold it like this, it’ll help you scoop em’ better.” William followed his father's instructions and took a deep breath before sinking the net into the water. He waited a moment before swiftly pulling it out, holding it high in the air to see what he caught. “I did it!” he excitedly yelled, “Pépère, look! Theres three of em’ in there.” His father laughed and placed his hand on William's shoulder, directing him back towards the house. “Let’s go show Maman. She’s gonna love them.”

He wiped away the single tear that wandered down his cheek. Quietly he spoke, “I can fix this Pépère... tomorrow... It’ll be alright again.” A sad smile lingered on his lips as he picked up the towel off the floor, folding it just how Maman liked before placing it on the counter. He began to walk to his room but stopped to look at his father's boots that had been sitting at the door since the day he died. Maman couldn’t bear the thought of getting rid of them... and neither could William. Sometimes it felt as though his father was still in the room when he’d look at them. It felt like he was still with them. William turned away, sighing as he entered his bedroom. He collapsed onto his old warn out straw mattress and closed his eyes. He dreamt about the boat and his Pépère and Maman laughing together on the dock as he fished for hours.

William was awoken by the heavy footsteps of his extremely drunk brother. John’s incoherent mumbling grew louder as he stumbled his way to William's bedroom. William slammed his eyes shut as hard as he could. The times that John has actually come home from his benders always resulted in physical fights between them. William tried his best to control his breathing; he hoped that if he appeared to be still asleep his brother might just move on and pass out somewhere else. The pit in his stomach grew as John lingered in the doorway. He firmly held onto the doorknob to hold himself up, in his hand was a nearly empty bottle of god-knows-what. His body almost swaying as he menacingly watched over William like a wolf waiting to strike its prey. William’s hands began to shake. He tried his hardest to steady them without his brother noticing. He felt like he was going to vomit or maybe pass out. He couldn’t quite tell which one he was truly feeling, but he prayed that his brother would move away before either one decided to become reality. After what felt like forever, John dropped the bottle onto the floor. Its loud clink rang out around the house. He pushed himself off the door and stumbled somewhere into the house. William quietly breathed as he listened to his brothers shuffling. Once John had been quiet for a while, William climbed out of bed and peeked out into the main area. There he saw John, passed out in a pile of his own vomit. He stood in the doorway, glaring at him. He shook his head softly before slowly approaching him. William stuck his hand close enough to John’s nose to see if he was breathing – He was. William sighed, unsure if it was a sigh of relief or disappointment.

William slept for a few hours more until the sun began to slowly creep up from behind the majestic trees. He sprung out of bed and collected his money. He dressed himself in some of his nicer clothes and let out a content sigh, pushing down all the feelings from last night. He tucked his money safely away in his pocket, double checking the amount before leaving his bedroom. He strutted out into the common area to see his brother still asleep on the floor. William paused for a brief moment before finally leaving the house, feeling hopeful, he told himself that this was all about to change He knew the boatyard wouldn't be open quite yet as the sun had barely risen high enough to light up the sky, but the anticipation of finally having his own boat to sail and fish with made him impatient. Instead of calling for a carriage, he decided to walk there. William figured that by the time he got there, it should be open. A smile was etched onto his face as he enjoyed the morning air. He tipped his hat to the other early risers he passed and nearly began to skip as he saw the boatyard appear in the distance. Adjusting his coat and clearing his throat to calm his excitement a little. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt like this. The unbridled joy that was continuously building inside made him feel the happiest he’d ever been. He took a deep breath as waited to cross the road; he watched as the man opened the gate to the boat yard and with a happy leap, he crossed the road and swiftly made his way over to the man. He looked at all the boats as he approached him, shoving his hand into his pocket to grab the money. “How can I help you today young man?” The older gentleman cheerfully spoke. “I am here to buy a small fishing boat.” A huge smile spread across William's face as the man gestured for him to follow. “we've got a few small ones left, just up here.” The man led William down the dock and presented the boats. Pointing to each one, stating the price and saying which one he personally thought would be best for fishing in the bayou. William couldn’t choose which one he truly wanted, so he opted for the slightly cheaper boat. The boat being only $25 left him with an extra $5 to spare. The old man happily took the money and helped him collect the boat. “Is it alright if I take it right through the water here back to the docks I work at? I know the way quite well.” said William. “Of course!” the old man cheered before helping him untie it.

William climbed in, thanking the man for what must have been the hundredth time before sailing away. He couldn’t help but laugh as he followed the waterway. The joy that filled his being was insurmountable. He kept thinking about how proud his Maman was going to be when he showed her. He could imagine his Pépère’s face all lit up with gratification for what he’s managed to do all on his own. He wiped away the rogue tear that nearly fell from his eye as watched the sun peek through the blowing Cypress trees. The feeling of serenity filled his body as he approached the dock. Climbing out to tie it up, he was approached by one of his father's old friends and his current boss, Mr. Taylor. “Look what we have here!” he loudly cheered, “Did ya’ get this all by yourself now?” William sheepishly said yes as he explained how he’d happily help with the fishing now that he has a boat of his own. “Ah of course my boy! You can start just this second if you really want to!” William grabbed his hand and shook it harder than he meant too, “Thank you so much sir! I will get right on that, thank you so much!” Mr. Taylor laughed as he grabbed the spare net and fishing pole that sat in his office, William ran to grab a bucket to keep the fish in. Mr. Taylor had always been such a generous man, especially to William’s family after the tragic passing of his father. He ensured that William had the job at the dock even though he hadn’t been involved that much in fishing since he was a small child. And even though he had to do all the work no other fisherman wanted to do, he was still eternally grateful for the job. “How’s yer’ mum been?” Mr. Taylor asked as he placed the tools into the boat, “She’s been better, but I'm hoping now that I have the boat the extra money might lighten her spirits a small bit.” Mr. Taylor nodded his head in understanding; he knew the situation with William’s brother, John, was bad as he’d shown up to the docks drunk out of his head and causing all sorts of issues. He could only imagine the stress that was putting on their poor mother. The two men smiled and greeted the other fishermen as they began to roll in one by one, “I should let ya’ get to it. Theres plenty o’ fish biting today, I'm sure of it!” He patted William on the back as he walked back into his office to deal with the rest of his work for the day.

William climbed into his boat and began to row. He took the boat down a narrow path; the overgrown Tupelo trees swayed in the breeze as the mosquitoes loudly buzzed his head. He continued down the path, as he did, the memories of his childhood came flooding in. His father used to take him down here just after the storms blew through. It felt peaceful. The sounds and smells calmed some part of his soul. William used to always make his dad pull over to the side when they approached the old, abandoned church. His father told him a whole bunch of stories about it. William’s favourite was the story his father told him about how when he was a small boy, the church was still functioning then. He used to say how it still looked rough even back then, but every Sunday he’d see small boats making their way down the narrow waterway, taking this exact route. All the people in them dressed up nicely for the lord and singing their hymns to and from the church. He said how a few times he followed them there, even though he didn’t consider himself to be a man of the lord, he still felt that their commitment to that particular church was admirable. Every time a big storm rolled in, that church would flood, and bad. There was talk about it eventually ending up part of the bayou, but the people were dedicated; they’d fix it up every single time. They'd say it was their duty; it was their way of repaying the lord for his kindness in sparing them from the storm. Now, since William was brought into this world, the church had long since been abandoned after the priest unfortunately passed, the parish tried to tend to the building, but everyone eventually left it behind. People either got too old to help or moved their faith to another church. The beautiful building now sits in ruins. It’s white siding turning green and black from all the water damage. The cross that once proudly sat at the very top, now lay on the flooded steps, gradually getting washed into the bayou. If you wait outside the building, sitting calmly in the water, you’ll hear its subtle creaks as it sinks further into the dampened soil. William pulled his boat over and stabbed the bottom of the water with his oar to steady the boat. He closed his eyes and took in three deep breaths, opening his eyes back up to watch the church. The roof was slowly being taken over by moss now, and it had sunken a good few feet farther since the last time he came around. “The next storm might be your last, I fear.” he quietly spoke, “It was a pleasure seeing ya again.” He softly smiled before rowing further down.

He fished for hours and had some considerable luck. His haul was much bigger than what he honestly thought he could catch on his first day. “I’m going to call you lucky.” He said while gently patting the side of his boat, “You’ve already more than paid for yourself.” He laughed lazily as he turned the boat around to make the journey back to the docks. Mr. Taylor was going to be happy when he saw just how good he’d done today. Pride filled his being as he rowed with vigor; he was thinking of a million ways to spoil his Maman now that he’d have extra cash. First things first, he was bringing some of the fish home to show her. They were going to have a proper dinner tonight! Just like they used to when Pépère was still around.

He pulled up to the docks and hopped out, tying up the small boat before grabbing the almost overflowing bucket of fish. He placed in onto the old wood with a loud thud, drawing the attention of some of the fishermen sitting on the docks. “Getta look at him! First day fishin’ out ‘ere, and he already got a month's worth!” the men happily congratulated him as William hung his head in embarrassment, “Beginners luck.” William replied as he removed the rest of his borrowed gear, “Nah,” one quipped, “It's yer’ daddy’s blood boy! He out fished us all.” They all laughed and William smiled along, enjoying the kind memories of his father. William picked up the bucket and brought it over to Mr. Taylor to show him the bounty. He knocked on the door and waited, “Come in.” Mr. Taylor yelled out as William opened the door “Great lord above boy, look at you!” He chuckled as he stood from his chair. Mr. Taylor paced over to the bucket and William, grabbing his hand to shake it. “Your daddy would be proud, son. As am I!” Hugging William before handing over some money, “A little bonus for all the hard work, and some more for the sheer number of fish you caught today.” William looked down at the money that was placed in his hand, three whole dollars. “Thank you, sir, thank you so much for this!” William beamed as he shook his hand once more, “now go and spend some of that on yer’ momma, she deserves it too!” William nearly ran out of Mr. Taylor’s office while yelling “Of course! Of course!” He’d long since forgotten about the fish he planned on bringing home, instead he made his way to the market to buy some beef instead. He couldn’t wait to show his Maman all the money he’d made just today alone. Most importantly, he couldn’t wait to show her how much their lives were about to improve again. He paid for his goods and swiftly made his way home.

He threw off his hat and jacket once he was through the door, calling out for his mother, “Maman! Come quick!” His mother swiftly rounded the corner, holding the dish towel in her hand, “What’s with all the yellin’ boy?” He was too excited to say words, so he just shoved the meat towards her. A huge smile plastered his face. “what’s this?” she said as she placed it on the dining table, “You went to the market after work today? How did you afford this?” She nervously said as she examined the perfect meat. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I had been saving my money since Pépère died, and I managed to save enough for a small boat!” His mother wiped a tear from her eye as she pulled him into a hug, “And because I did so good today, Mr. Taylor gave me a small bonus!” He dug around in his pocket and pulled out the remainder of his money, placing it on the table next to the meat. “Oh, my sweet boy!” His mother chirped as she hugged him once more, “We’re going to be doing a lot better now, Maman. I can feel it.” she sniffled softly, “Thank you for this. Now, put that money away before your brother sees it. I'm going to start cooking dinner now, you go wash up.” William did as she said; his body almost vibrating with happiness.

William’s mother began to cook dinner as he left the room. Tears filled her eyes as she prepped the meat. Her heart hurt; she never wanted William to feel like he had to take care of the household. She was beyond proud of him and eternally grateful, but it shouldn’t be his job. He was already almost 20 years old and had the world on his shoulders. She wished that John would get his act together and actually help out, but she knew he was beyond that at this point. It didn’t matter what she did to help him; he’d turn up worse every single time. He ended up in jail for almost a month last year and as soon as he was free, he was right back to it. John is her baby just as much as William is, despite their 13-year difference. But John was going to be the death of her, if it wasn’t by his own hand, it would be from the stress he causes her. John has had a drinking problem for a long time but while their father was alive, he managed to hide it pretty well. It became significantly worse once he passed. John managed to spend nearly all the money the entire family had been saving for over a decade in less than 2 years. She was astonished by how he was still alive; she had been sure on multiple occasions that he was lying dead in ditch somewhere when he hadn’t been back home in a few days. She wished he’d clean up his act and accept the help she consistently offers him, but she knows he never will. He’s got his father's strong will that for sure, both of them do. As she cooked dinner, her mind wandered. The memories of her husband ran through her mind, keeping her distracted as she cooked dinner. Due to this distraction, she didn’t hear John enter the house. He paused before he entered the kitchen, staring at his mother. “What is that smell?” He drunkenly yelled, causing his mother to nearly jump out of her skin. “I had no idea you would be home for dinner!” she tried to cheerfully smile in his direction but was met by his cold gaze, “I asked what that smell was.” He said once more, his seething tone matching his angry eyes. “Um...the uh neighbours dropped this off. They said they had extra that was about to spoil, so they wanted to share it.” She turned quickly in hopes he couldn’t tell from her tone that she was lying to him. John grunted as he dropped himself down onto a dining chair, placing his head in his hands. His seemingly perpetual drunkenness finally dissipated enough for the hangover to make itself known. He continued to quietly groan, ostensibly forgetting all about the dinner being cooked in front of him.

William eventually made his way back into the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw his brother. He stood in place and watched him. His stomach churning at the sight of him, even though he appeared to be calm. He knew he could lose his temper at the drop of a hat, and the closes person would then become his punching bag. The pride and the joy that had filled William's heart earlier had once again been replaced by his seething distain for his useless, good-for-nothing brother. William prided himself on his understanding and caring nature, but his brother had pushed that beyond a point of no return now. William and John used to be inseparable. They'd do everything together; they were best friends despite the 13-year age gap. William looked up to John; he followed his every move and loved seeing him thrive. He still loved him deep down and knew that if he’d actually accepted everyone’s help, he could be that fun, loving, charismatic guy again. But William knew that would never happen. The John he looked up was long gone; he may even have never existed in the first place.

William sighed as he walked up to his mother to help her with dinner. Refusing to look over at John, he kept his head low and did what his mother said to do. He helped place dinner on the table and went to gather the utensils. “You know,” John started, “I saw you this morning.” The air in the house grew thick; William could feel his throat tightening in fear. “I left early for work; I let you sleep where you were because I figured your head would need the sleep.” William spat out quickly, hoping to avoid the inevitable fight. “No... after that. I got up a little bit after you left and walked down to the store to buy more liquor when they opened, but I saw you in that shipyard. Talkin’ to that old man and lookin’ at the boats.” John sat back in his chair eyeing down William like a wolf stalking its poor defenseless prey. “Didn’t see you walk back out either. Now, I remember that old man, he wouldn’t have let you take a boat or ride in one for free. So, either way here, you’ve been keeping money away from the household.” Their mothers' hands shook as she placed the plates down in front of each of the boys. Her voice was weak as she tried to calm the situation, “Now, now, John. I don’t think this is an issue we need to be discussing over dinner.” John snapped his head up at his mother, his face contorting into a wicked grin, “You don’t think so? Well as the man of the house I truly do believe that this is a perfect dinner discussion. Especially since you were lying to me about where this meat came from. The hicks next door could ever afford this, and even if they somehow managed too, they ain’t sharing with nobody!” He began to yell, and his fist bashed the table, shaking it and knocking a fork onto the floor. “John, please.” Their mother begged but it fell on deaf ears. “I guess you’ve been making a lot more money than you say, boy. Where is it? Hmm? Where you keepin’ it?” William tried to steady his breathing as he endured the on slot of his brother's anger. John smacked the table once more, causing the glass of water in front of him to spill. “I asked you a question!” His voice was loud enough that the neighbours could for sure hear him. “It wasn’t much at all. I got a good price for the boat, and I spent the extra on the meat for dinner. That’s all.” William still hadn’t looked him in the eyes. He may not be much of a believer in Christ, but he was worried he’d see the devil behind John’s eyes. John began to laugh. The sound making William nearly fall off his chair. “I know you’re a liar, boy. But for your sake, you better hope I don't find where you’re keeping the money.” Neither William nor his mother could speak as he watched them. They both shook as they felt his gaze not moving. The silence in the house was maddening, and the longer it went on for the sicker William felt. Finally, John stood up before storming out of the house. He slammed the door so hard that the only family portrait they had ever taken had fallen to the ground, shattering as it landed. William could feel the few left-over dollars burning a hole in his pocket. He feared what John would do to him if he put it in his usual hiding spot.

William eventually stood up and walked over to the portrait that laid on the floor. The broken glass around it reflecting the moonlight the was peeking in through the open window. He held the picture in his hands as he turned his attention to the window. He once again watched the trees blowing in the wind, the feelings of fear and dread creeping up his throat as he did. He took a deep breath, “I have some leftover change in my pocket. I need to go and put it somewhere.” He stated to his mother. “Put it where? He'll tear this house up when he comes back.” William sat back on his heal, sniffling back the tears that threatened to fall. “Not here. I’ll take the money to the docks. I can either give it to Mr. Taylor if he’s still there or just hide it somewhere nearby. It can’t stay here.” Using his foot, he swept the glass out of his way before walking back over to his mother. He placed the picture onto the table where she still sat and kissed her on the head. “I love you, Maman. I’ll be back later, alright? Don’t wait up for me.” She shuddered and let out a nervous ok. “I love you too, William. Please be careful.”

As William made his way to the docks, he made sure to keep checking his surroundings. He wouldn’t be surprised if his brother was waiting for him around some corner, waiting to rob him. He kept his head low and his collar turned up. It had started to rain, giving a nice relief against the sticky air that plagued Louisiana. The cool rain seemed to calm William's nerves slightly. He quickened his pace as he approached the docks. He didn’t want to stay for longer than he had to. The wind and the rain were beginning to pick up, causing the water to get restless. He nearly ran to Mr. Taylor’s office door, pounding on it in hopes he’d answer. William nervously looked around as he waited for a moment, apprehensively hopping from one foot to the other. He cursed under his breath as he realized Mr. Taylor had gone home. Frantically, he glanced around the docks to look for anywhere he could safely store the money. It wasn’t a lot of money but if John found out he was lying... He didn't want to think about what he’d do to him. He considered for a moment giving John the money as a peace offering. Maybe he could claim he found it after he left. Or maybe he could say he forgot about it. Depending on how drunk he is, the lie wouldn't have to be that believable. William jumped when thunder rang out around him; lightning flashed overhead and lit up the bayou, causing him to see a reflection on the water. Someone was approaching the docks. He couldn’t make out who it was, but he knew it was never good meeting someone here once the sun had set. He tried his best to sneak around the back of the office, hoping whoever it was hadn’t seen him standing there. He could hear someone sniffle as they made their way onto the wet wood that made up the docks. He walked as softly as he could around the back, deciding it was best to make a run for it once it was clear enough to do so. Starting off running on the slippery planks wasn’t going to get him very far. He stopped for a moment to listen; maybe the person wasn’t a threat. Maybe they just wanted to check if the boats were all secured because a storm was evidently making it’s way through. He tried to tell himself a thousand things to calm his heart as it was practically beating out of his chest. He hadn’t heard anything in a while, so he began to walk again, rounding the corner of the office only to run into the person he was hoping to avoid.

“You think I'm that dumb?” The unmistakable voice made William’s blood run cold. His entire body froze; it was like he was petrified. Not a single word could make it out of his mouth, just quiet, useless studders. “Where’s the money William?” He asked, almost in a mocking tone. The thunder boomed again in the distance, calling the lightning which lit up John’s face. The rage which displayed itself was nothing like William had ever seen. He was terrified. In his panic, he began to dig around in his pockets, his shaking hands attempting to grab the remainder of the money. He finally was able to hand it over, nearly dropping it onto the soggy wood they stood on. John let out a chuckle that all but made William puke before snatching the money out of his hands. “This is it? Really?” His tone seemed even more threatening as the thunder joined him as he spoke. William's entire body shook, “I swear that’s it. You can check my pockets.” He held his hands in the air to show they were empty. John cocked his head to the side before swiftly grabbing William by his neck and slamming him into the building. “You see how easy that was? You see how you could have just handed it over to begin with?” He whispered into William's ear, spit flying from his mouth as he did so. “Please just let me go, I promise I’ll give you all the money I make now. I promise, I swear John, please!” William was hysterical now, but his pleads only made John angrier. John dragged William off the wall and threw him off to the side, William slipping closer towards the water as he scrambled to get to his feet. “Who do you think you are? Huh? You’re mommy’s little golden boy, who can do no wrong, right?” John screamed, his voice almost breaking as the anger fueled him. William tried to scramble away but before he could even process what was happening, John had jumped on top of him. He pinned William down by his neck, screaming in his face. William could feel his eyes trying to close, but he fought them. He began to swing at and hit John as hard as he could; the desperation took over as he fought for his life. He could no longer hear the words John screamed at him; his ears rang loudly as the blood flow no longer was making it to his brain. He tried his best to suck in air but to no avail. His vision began to grow dark as tears broke free, falling down his cheeks and mixing with the rain. He clawed at his brother's face and tried to beg for his life. John slammed him against the wood again, finally releasing William's throat. He jumped off him and paced around, muttering to himself as William chocked and gagged on the air that finally filled his lungs again. William making strained gasping sounds as he tried to stand up, sparks filling his vision as he attempted it. He managed to get himself onto all fours as he wobbly crawled away. John shook with anger and adrenalin as he watched his brothers' pathetic attempt at escaping.

William crawled away as fast as he could while still gasping for air, but as lightning lit up the sky once more, he could see John’s shadow approaching quickly. William began to beg John, God, and anyone who might hear him to save him. “Please... God please.” He cried out “God, I'm begging you please help me.” He was terrified and desperate. He turned his head to try and reason with his brother but before a single word could fall from his lips, he felt a searing pain. The pain started just below his ribs on the right side and spread around as John repeatedly stabbed him. William cried out in pain and fear, begging his brother to stop. He looked up at his face -the man he once looked up to- he didn’t recognize him anymore. The man that stood before him was not the same man he had grown up with; this man was a monster. John gnashed his teeth as he frantically screamed, William couldn’t make out the words, nor did he want to. William could feel his body growing weaker and weaker by the second; he knew he was dying but before he could accept his fate, John grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the water. William tried to kick and hit John, but his limbs were no longer listening to his commands. His head was rolling around as John pushed him off the dock. William managed to keep himself afloat for a short moment, as he watched his brother run as fast as he could away from the scene. William tried to hang onto the dock, but his hands were too weak. His eyes welled up with tears which fell into the bayou that surrounded him. He kept clinging to the wood planks with every bit of energy he could muster. He couldn’t feel the wounds anymore as his entire body became numb. "William.” he faintly heard someone calling his name, “William.” He tried to look around but he couldn’t. “You’ll be ok, my boy. Just let go.” He managed to look up from where he was hanging on, he could barely make out what he was looking at –or who he was looking at- but it calmed him. “Join me, it’ll all be ok.” It was as if the sun had risen in the sky with how bright the sky got. He was able to look around now and see his surroundings; the water rippled from the breeze, and the light glistened off the surface. The cypress tress majestically swayed as the birds sang the most beautiful song. Finally turning his head to look in the direction of the voice, he froze. “Pépère?” William’s voice shook but a soft smile made its way across his lips. He let out a final laugh before letting go of the dock. He watched as his father stood over him as he sank to the bottom.

John ran as fast as he could. Unsure if it was guilt or fear that was building inside his chest, he ran to the only place he knew no one would question him –The church. John did in fact consider himself to be a man of Christ, despite all the shit he’s done in his life. After his benders, he would always end up back in church, sitting at one of the many pews as he begged for forgiveness. This time was no different. He ran up the front steps, nearly tripping on his own feet to get through those doors. He sat at the same pew he always sat at, the one closest to the doors. He got on his knees and prayed to the lord above, begging harder than he ever had before for forgiveness. His tears burned his face as they ran down his cheek. His clothes that were soaked from the rain left a puddle where he sat. John cried, begged, and pleaded in hopes it would fix everything he had done. He stayed there until the sun began to rise. Eventually, dragging himself up of the wet bench and out the doors. He refused to go home. He couldn’t face his mother; she’d figure out what he had done. So, he took himself to his other refuge, the coffee house he ended up in almost every morning. No one would question him showing up; that was normal for him, the normal he created. As he made his way over to his usual spot, he kept his head low. He could feel the scrapes on his face, the ones caused by William fighting for his life. When his mind wandered, the pain made sure to remind him of exactly what he had done. The sun was bright and hot as he entered the building, partially drying his rain drenched clothes. He sat down in his usual seat and ordered the same coffee he always had. “What happened to you?” the waiter asked with a laugh as he placed the coffee down on the table, “You look worse than ever.” John let out a dry laugh before sipping his coffee, “I... uh.. I got held up.” the waiter snorted, “well didn’t I tell ya’ that was going to happen one day with those drunken nights you been havin’. I hope the other guy looks worse.” The waiter walked away to serve the rest of the clientele, but sheepishly kept an eye on John, just in case he brings trouble around. It wouldn’t be the first time he did. John sipped his coffee as he came up with a plan. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get away with it, he needed to leave. He could just not go home; it’s not like his Maman would miss him after the hell he put her through. Hell, she might not even question him being gone. Regardless of what he was going to do later, right now, he needed to act normal. Go through his everyday routine, hit the same spots he always did. The thought of his Maman getting the police involved by the end of the day made his heart race. If William didn’t show up, they’d know he had something to do with it, so he couldn’t waste the whole day trying to pretend like everything was ok.

He sucked back the remainder of his coffee; he set his money down on the counter and tipped his hat to the waiter as he left. His mind raced with ideas and plans as to where to go. The easiest option for now was to take a steamboat up the bayou. He had enough money for that and would still have some leftover for boarding when he got off at the farthest point he could. John hastily made his way to the steamboat docks, not wanting to waste a moment in getting away from the problems he’s caused. In his haste, he was rounding the corner of the coffee house when he all but ran into another man. John nearly screamed when he looked up at the man, his face was almost identical to his brother. He backed away like a panicked animal, the man repeated asking him if he’s alright. John finally let out a quick “good day” as took off running. Occasionally, John found himself looking behind himself or into alleyways that he passed. He felt like he could see his brothers dying face on every single person he passed. His body began to sweat and his breathing became frantic. He needed to get away. John finally made it to the steamboat's queue; he paid for his ticket and managed to board it without looking at a single person. He leaned over the side of the railing, his hands gripping it so tight his knuckles turned white. He did his best to catch his breath. His eyes held tightly closed for fear he’d see his brothers’ face once more. He avoided every person on that boat the best he could, keeping himself busy as he stood in the same spot, hands cramping as he continued to grip the railing. The pain from his hands kept his brain distracted. He was sure people around him were whispering about his strange behavior, but he couldn't pretend to be ok now. He could feel his brother's presence looming over him. He was worried if he moved his eyes even a small bit, he’d see his brother standing there, watching him. The steamboat eventually began to pull into the harbour where it was to make its final stop. Finally, John shifted his weight, loosening his grip on the railing before slowly making his way off the boat. As he walked over the ramp, he happened to glance down at the water below. Letting out a strained cry before he took off running, scaring the people around him. He could see his brother. It was clear as day. He stood in the water, just under the surface, and he had his head tilted just enough to watch John. His face still looked tear stained and the water around him nearly turning red with the blood that flowed out of him. William looked as if he was trying to scream or plead, but there was no sound.

John continued to run till his legs could barely move anymore. He nearly collapsed outside of a small boarding house. He dragged himself through the doors and begged for a room. The man apprehensively took his money but kept a close eye on him as he left to claim his room. Once in his room, he slammed the door shut behind him, grabbing the nearest chair to pin under the door handle. He dropped to his knees and cried. He cried until he felt sick. Not from sadness, but from fear. He didn’t think he felt a single ounce of remorse for what he’d done, but he feared that he couldn’t escape his brother now. He pulled himself to his feet and staggered into the bathroom. He tried to rinse his face with cold water from the sink, in hopes it would shock his system, and he’d feel ok again. But as he lifted his head from the water, he could see his reflection in the mirror, and his brother stood directly behind him. He could hear the sound of water dripping off William’s clothes and the soft cries that escaped his lips. “Please William!” He cried, “Leave me be!” He ran from the bathroom, tripping on his way out. Landing on all fours as he tried to crawl away from the bathroom, he turned his head to look behind only to see William staggering out behind him, clutching his stab wounds. “You’re not real! I’ve lost my mind. This isn’t real!” Hot tears flowed freely from John’s eyes as he cowered in the corner across the room, shielding his face from the horror that stood directly in front of him. He stayed like that for hours. The fear eating him alive. He eventually removed his shaking hands from his face, only after Wiliiam’s moaning had stopped. He couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see William anywhere. He crept towards the bed, dragging his body into it. He fell asleep quick, the exhaustion finally taking hold of his body. The hours passed quickly, no sound seemed to wake him. That was until the moaning began once more. In a panic, he pulled the covers over his head. He hid from the incessant ghost that now haunted him. His whole body shook as he felt William’s body lean over his covers. He felt the air escape William's mouth as he tried to call for him, the gust softly rippling the fabric. The spirit only managing to let out a soft gurgle before finally disappearing entirely. John passed out once more, but only to be woken up by the same thing. Over and over and over again. The same scenario happened every few hours, keeping John from getting any rest.

Years passed and John now ended up on the streets. Begging for money, or booze, or anything that he could get his hands on that might distract his broken mind. The ghost of William still haunted him every single night. It was mostly the same thing, but sometimes it was as if William was reliving that night, effectively causing John too as well. He’d avoid the bayou at all costs; with every ripple of the water he could see his brothers’ body, clinging onto to life. John still couldn’t find himself looking into people’s faces either as they’d morph into his brothers. He had lost his mind. He’d been in and out of the asylum when the police would arrest him for assault. He'd on occasion attack random passerby’s thinking it was William coming back to get revenge. His mental state would improve once inside, and they’d end up releasing him, only for the hauntings to begin again the same night. He couldn’t escape William but most importantly, He couldn't escape his guilt.

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Thank you so much for reading my short story, I have a few more in the link below if you'd like read them as well,

Theatredeslestat Masterlist

Again, feel free to let me know what you think.

xoxo - Theatredeslestat