I’m Better Than You Hoes

I exist

[tankhall]

Preacher’s Daughter is coming to CD and Cassette on August 7th ♡

[driftwoodsix]

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

[xenosaurus]

this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.

[redstonedust]

worst part of the human body is it can never just have one problem. ohh youre tired? well we might as well be nausous about it. legs hurt? you can take a headache buy one get one free. these are the worst deals of my life.

[deathgasmic]

half avoidant on my father's side

[vampzip]

half anxious on my mother’s side

[mackonfire]

Fool me once? Shiiiit. Fool me twice? Fuckkkk bro stop fooling me

[callali1y]

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tutorial

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning walkthrough

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tips and tricks

[loveridden1999]

[nostalgebraist]

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

[transmortifried]

[json-derulo]

that’s a fool’s errand. a jester’s chore, if you will. a real clown’s appointment

[teaboot]

Best thing about zip-up hoodies? You can wear ‘em without a shirt and slip ‘em off the shoulder a lil. Leave it half-zipped or unzipped too, like a sexy lil choose-your-own-adventure.

Worst thing about zip-up hoodies? When it’s zipped up and u sit down somewhere and suddenly have to deal with your newest and shittiest conjoined twin, the three-inch flaccid sternum boner

[firedragon1321]

I'm never leaving this website.

[drukhari]

Hate the stomach's occasional tendency to respond to hunger with nausea. Like babygirl you are NOT helping your case right now by threatening to push the emergency "eject all food now" button!!!

[dragon-in-a-fez]

if you washed any clothes recently this is a friendly reminder to put them on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then

[catcrumb]

[crabussy]

how come they make you reinvent the concept of dinner every evening. I have to make dinner come true every evening like some kind of unpaid genie intern

[stlamb]