The Bard and The Duchess

This is an Elder Scroll rp blog, but I am not against multi fandom crossovers or shipping my muses with your muse. Just kept in mind Dagny doesn’t sleep with everyone she meets, and after what happen to her last time it might take some time before she will trust your muse. Molly is just crazy and is not looking for anyone.

[thebardandtheduchess]

Weird dreams

So a few nights ago I had a weird dream. I dreamed that I got a phone call from a friend of my sixteen year old daughter. She told me that my daughter had gotten a fake ID and went to a night club with some other girls she's not allowed to hang out with. So my husband in my dream, who is my boyfriend right now, and I went to the night club. The bouncer would not let us in so I told him he already let our sixteen year old daughter in with a fake ID. The bouncer let us in and we decide to embarrass her so we go up to the DJ and tell him what is going on. He lets me have the mic and I say "(her full name) you are grounded until you're 18!" I then handed the mic to my husband/boyfriend and told him to make cartoon voices while I go get our daughter. I woke angry from that dream and begun to think of how I was going to punish my daughter. I thought about how I was going to punish her for 20 minutes until I realized I don't have a sixteen year old daughter. I don't have kids yet!

[thebardandtheduchess]

I was talking to my boyfriend and I said "I'm a nut" and he replied "but your my nuts. Wait that sounded bad." We both are still laughing.

[thebardandtheduchess]

A spectacular explosion of feathers and guts

Today while I was on my way to work I hit two doves with my car. I hit them just right that there was feathers everywhere and some guts on the corner of my windshield. I drove from just outside of my neighborhood to my job 15 miles away with this on my car. I got to work and look at my hood, there was more guts there. After work I went to the car wash, the look on the face of the guy that work there was priceless.

[musingmemes]

three word starters

“i’ll do it.”

“please just don’t.”

“i hate you.”

“i love you.”

“you love me?”

“please stop it.”

“i can’t breathe.”

“just go away.”

“you’re an ass.”

“you’re a bitch.”

“don’t leave me!”

“don’t walk away.”

“stay with me.”

“i’m begging you…”

“for fucks sake…”

“clean this up!”

“please kiss me.”

“get off me!”

“you are despicable.”

“are you okay!?”

“don’t do this.”

“please shut up.”

“are you drunk?”

“don’t forget me.”

[secrua]

i’m sure my neighbors don’t mind me blasting the imperial march at 1am with the windows open

[thebardandtheduchess]

If I woke up to the imperial march at 1am I would start laughing my ass off.

[thebardandtheduchess]

[thebardandtheduchess]

My instructor told us we can have a one-sided, hand-written 8 1/2 by 11 reference sheet for our final exam. She has underestimated how small I can write.

[thebardandtheduchess]

Monsters!

There's a monster that comes out on certain days, like today or Black Friday. The rest of the year they are perfectly normal even nice but, on these days they become assholes. They are wereassholes.

[schmittastisch]

Manchmal google ich “ugly wedding dress” und plane die scheußlichste Hochzeit, die man sich nur vorstellen kann, für mich

[thebardandtheduchess]

New from Always, super duper ultimate tampons for those really heavy days.

[thebardandtheduchess]

Stuff my mom says.

My mom said Donald Trump reminds her of Hitler.

[cutt1ng-helps]

and if you would then you can fuck off

[kateoplis]

Huxley vs. Orwell

[black-coffee13]

They were both right.

[thebardandtheduchess]

The light within

The light within us will always be brighter than the darkness around us, even when our light seems dim to us.

[oachkazlschwoaf-blog]

[thebardandtheduchess]

Now my fear of butterflies is no longer unfounded..

[thebardandtheduchess]

Meet Ysmir, my Valentine day gift from my boyfriend.

[amroyounes]

[alexusl0l]

i’m fucking pissed I couldve been getting free drinks at chic fil a

[thebardandtheduchess]

Something went wrong........

I have the sinking suspicion that I'm not really human. I'm just a genetic experiment that went awry.