confessions of a coffee girl.

the story of a love hate relationship with coffee.

[peachiepals-deactivated20160907]

people say that our generation is entitled, but have you ever tried to tell an old lady that her coupon doesn’t apply???

[goodenoughforjazz]

anybody who has worked a job where they have had to deal with the public at all will be able to tell you that millennials are FAR FROM the most ‘entitled’ generation.

[theblackoaksyndicate-deactivate]

Dear Fellow Guys....stop hitting on women at work. Let me explain.

So i work as your friendly underpaid barista and currently we’re having problems with one of our regulars hitting on our women staff members. The first woman he hit one, he wrote a note to her….as in elementary school note passing. Now of course, she’s at work and the model in f&b and retail is that you do everything in your power not to piss off the guest. So in hopes of not causing a scene, she kindly wrote on the note that she appreciate the interest but she’s a lesbian. Now, 1) she shouldn’t have to out herself to a complete stranger all to avoid a bad yelp review. 2) She shouldn’t be forced into a situation where she has to entertain a guests unwanted attentions to avoid at the least, a negative review on yelp.  So once she passes this dude the note, he then starts jokingly exclaiming “I always fall for lesbians” in the middle of our cozy cafe, effectively outing her to anyone within earshot. Now my co-worker isn’t closeted, she’s out and proud etc, etc. However, that doesn’t give someone else the right to disclose her sexuality without her permission, and especially not after he effectively coerced her into outing herself in order to avoid his come-ons.   Another one of our regular guests, hits on one of our baristas on a regular basis. No matter how much she casually brings up her boyfriend. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had to literally stand in front of her so he can’t force eye-contact with her (Naturally we do this kind of thing in a low-key manner so that we don’t actively piss off guest and thus put our jobs at risk). I’ve had to actively shut down people on behalf of my women co-workers (Nah dude, she’s seeing someone. She’s not interested in that sort of thing. Dude, chill out.) because they simply can’t understand the fact that they are at their jobs and simply just want to get their jobs done and go home. Stop taking advantage of the unequal power dynamics to force her to engage you. She’s seem nice? Of course she is, her job revolves around being nice. She seemed into you? No, I can promise she’s not, she’s doing her job and told me five minutes ago how you were clearly staring down her chest.  “But how am I supposed to let her no I’m interested in her?” you might say. My answer, that’s not my fucking concern. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people in this world that don’t revolve around you forcing them into an uncomfortable position while they’re literally trying to earn a living. Not every person your interested in obligated to entertain that interest.  Simply put, stop being goddam creepers and let people do their goddamn jobs. 

[evilcoyote-deactivated20190311]

Fuck off. Some of us have a hard enough time talking to people without shitheads like you guilting us over it.

[alexandra-erin]

No one’s guilting you over anything. The point of this post is for you to stop doing it, not to do it and feel guilty. If you feel awkward hitting on someone who’s not in a position where she can safely be honest with you or leave if you make her uncomfortable, that’s good. Listen to that awkward feeling. It’s telling you that you’re transgressing a boundary. Now, if you feel like you’re always awkward and always crossing a boundary, then posts like this should be a gold mine. It’s telling you in clear terms where boundaries actually exist and why.

[seriesofnonsequiturs]

[urcollegebarista]

Being on register before 6 am like

[just-shower-thoughts]

Yawns are just silent screams for coffee.

[artisastate]

@tinkmagic

[thebaristababe]

I need coffee to deal with people who need coffee.

[stability]

[thebaristababe]

Customer: Can I have a salted caramel mocha please?

Me: The salt is seasonal, but I can cry into the drink for you.

[souhailbog-deactivated20240510]

[thebostonprep]

[bowtifullife]

Yes. This.

[thebaristababe]

To everyone I've accidentally forgotten to charge for soy: you're welcome.

[hotlocalwizards]

i work as a barista & people tell me all the time that The Drinks Got Gender. Thats A Lady Coffee, people try to say

its fucking bean water

[nm-qttps-old]

can’t believe i can’t just reply to this but: maybe they’re actually telling you that this coffee has an important status. Lady Coffee

[hotlocalwizards]

oh shit i was in the presence of bean water royalty oh fuck i must have looked like such a rube. such a fool.

[hommedog]

what the fuck does this post mean ive been trying to decipher its hieroglyphic encrypted message but i cant

[hotlocalwizards]

“From a deconstructionist stand point, I have to disagree with a large portion of the customers that I, a humble barista tend to each day. The assertion that certain coffee drinks are more suitable for one gender or another is folly. For as we know: 1. gender is a social construct, & 2. coffee of any type is simply hot water strained through roasted beans, & has no greater affect on either culturally assigned sex.”

“What ho, kind friend! Is it not unfortunate that I cannot simply reply to this post, & most reblog it? What a farce, this blue website! Ah, but I digress: what if perhaps your customers were not asserting not the suitability of the drink for a given gender, but rather indicating some matter of status? Perhaps the coffee is possessing of a high rank in society. This is of course my purely grammatical viewpoint on the subject.”

“Oh, damnation! This does in fact seem much more likely than my own ludicrous assumptions, & I was no doubt in the presence of roasted bean royalty! Some emissary from foreign soil! Curses! What a country bumpkin I’ve made myself out to be!!”

[thebaristababe]

Your barista is not in love with you, it’s her job to smile.

[juliterr]

[thebaristababe]

Dear coffee, Thank you

[thebaristababe]

I don't know what's going on in your life so I never feel justified 'decaf-ing' someone, but if you really piss me off I will half-caf you, so if you ever feel slightly less awake than you think you should be, that was me.

[thebaristababe]

Customer: Can I buy a Starbucks gift card here?

Me: No, I'm sorry, we're not a Starbucks.

Customer: Are you sure?