The Goddamn Batnurse

Mild mannered father and husband by day, superhero nurse by night. Trying to keep my sanity in the world.

[copingnurse-deactivated20240217]

Conversations with Dr. K...

Dr. K (during rounds in front of the entire of the critical care team): “You’re a really good nurse.”

Me: *Clutches chest, falls into nearest chair*  “GEEZ, you have to warn me before you’re nice to me. I wasn’t ready.” _______________________________________________________________________

Dr. K : “I don’t want to consider myself friends with nurses. I should have been a doctor in the 1950s.”

Me: “I cannot breathe, from the condescension in this room.”

Dr. K: “I want an unbreachable wall between me and nurses.”

Me: “Well, winter is coming.”

Dr. K : “Well played.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Dr. K: “I’m going to take your orientee for the day. I’m worried about the quality of education he’s getting from you.”

Me: “I’ve taught him everything I know.”

Dr. K: “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Dr. K : “You make me do so much for your patients. It’s constant with you. I’m like a hostage”

Me: “Sidebar, can you look at the abomindal x-ray for the dobb hoff I put in?”

Dr K. “SEE that’s exactly what I mean.”

Me: “You’re the one who told me I HAD to get a dobb hoff in, even when I told you multiple other nurses had failed.”

Dr. K: “You got me.” …Looks at x-ray…. “Geez, can you pull that thing back some, it’s all the way to the jejunum.”

Me: “Well, my goal was the rectum.”

Dr. K: *Shakes head.* ….. “You are so wrong.”

____________________________________________________________________

Dr. K (sincerely): I meant what I said earlier, you are a really good nurse and this patient is only alive today because of you.

Me: Thanks, Dr. K. I enjoy working with you, despite all the jokes.

[igniteinnursing]

To the people angry at the posts nurses, doctors & other healthcare workers on here make in which they bitch about their patients/make fun of them:

Today I was taking care of a very sick patient and her caring but annoying family. I bitched to a fellow nurse about all the extra requests they had and the families decisions about the medical care for their comatose mother. I made fun of the family with the doctor.

I also tried to fullfill every single - sometimes pointless - request by the family because I know it’s the only way they can feel in control. I answered every single question - often over and over again. I offered comfort and kind words for the distraught family. I told the family members that it was okay that they kept asking & demanding when they felt bad about it (because it is no matter how much it may annoy me).

The patient’s daughter thanked me for my care and told me that in the two years since her mother had become chronically ill I was one of the nicests and most patient nurses she had met.

That I make fun and/or complain about stuff doesn’t stop me from delivering excellent care. As a matter of fact it makes it possible. There will always be things that annoy/anger/frustrate us about patients and being able to share those feelings with my fellow health care workers means I don’t share them with the patient. So stop fucking complaining how mean we are when we post about that crazy patient from last night…

[cardiacattack-deactivated202106]

THIS

[thebatnurse]

So much this

[badassbitchachas-deactivated201]

30 Truths Your Nurse Wants You to Know

1. We like what we do, but sometimes we complain because a lot of people are just total jerks.

2. We have the biggest bladders known to man.

3. On a 0-10 pain scale, 10 would imply it’s the absolute worse pain you’ve ever had in your whole life. (Like a rogue bear just ripped your arm off.)

4. We could probably diagnose you based on what your poop smells like.

5. Subsequently, nurses can’t “diagnose.” It’s not that we want to keep secrets; it’s the law.

6. We go home and still smell pee.

7.  We hate the beep of the IV pump as much as you do… probably more.

8. We’re not waitresses, babysitters or family counselors. The hospital is not the set of the Jerry Springer show.

9. We want to hit the vein the first time just as much as you want us to.

10. It’s not that we couldn’t be a doctor; we didn’t want to.

11. You’re not our only patient. We wish you were.

12. Nobody likes to clean up poop, but we do it for the patient because we care.

13. Cleaning up poop isn’t all we do.

14. Speaking of poop; no one’s health has been negatively impacted by not pooping every single day.

15. You’d be surprised how much we have to know to not accidentally kill you. Like, it’s crazy.

16. Antibiotics are useless for viral infections such as the common cold.

17. We like to eat lunch, and sometimes we get to.

18. We are unable to read your doctor’s mind. We can get really close, but the second we tell you “blue” they’ll say “red.” So don’t ask us to try.

19. Most of us have lost someone, too. We get it.

20. We don’t make as much money as you think.

21. We joke around as a means of coping with stress, anxiety or grief.

22. We believe what you tell us, but medtox lab results don’t lie. Just saying.

23. Just gonna leave this here:

This is the definition of allergic reaction: A drug allergy is the abnormal reaction of your immune system to a medication. The most common signs and symptoms of drug allergy are hives, rash or fever. A drug allergy is not the same as drug side effects, such as constipation or drowsiness.

24. “I can’t breathe” would imply you cannot talk or maintain consciousness. If you cannot breathe I will stick a tube down your throat to breathe for you.

25. Everyone has a temperature. If you do not you are deceased.

26. An elevated temperature is called a fever. This is a natural mechanism to fight illness.

27. We don’t usually have to work five days a week. We’re so lucky. Instead, we work a string of grueling, exhausting 13-hour days. We also work most holidays with little to no compensation for the fact.

28. Going to the ER (Emergency Room) suggests you have an emergency. Emergencies require immediate assistance or you may die. Refills, colds, or any rash without an interference of breathing (see above for “can’t breathe) are not typically considered emergencies.

29. We like breaks. Sometimes we get to take them. Please understand.

30. But above all, we love being a nurse!

[bloopz]

This 🙌🙌🙌👏

[copingnurse-deactivated20240217]

Dear Burned-out Nurse,

I am with you my friend. Work has been rough lately, right? Leaving it at the hospital isn’t always possible. It stays with you, keeps you up at night, as you replay “what ifs” and “I should haves.”

You’re dreading the next time you have to walk into that hospital. You’re tired of getting the sickest patients, or the ones with the angriest families. Because you’re great at your job and you’re nice, you get the difficult assignments. Part of you wishes you could quit caring and then maybe you’d have the easy patients for a change, then you could sit there on your phone, laughing with the rest of the group. But, you won’t do that, because you’d have to live knowing you didn’t do your best and that would feel worse than this.

You’re a good coworker. You are the one that helps everybody, the one other nurses get excited to see as a neighbor. Even when it’s 6 hours into your shift, you haven’t sat down, and you have hours of charting to do, when that coworker asks something of you, you say “Yes,” without hesitation.  Do not change that either. It’s worth it to be the one the baby nurse goes to, just to give her a bit of confidence. It’s worth it to help that mama nurse and hear some of her wisdom.

Maybe this job has broken your heart lately, like it has mine. Today was the first time I set foot into bed eight since she died in there one week week ago.  I entered the room and the flashback of her husband crying at the bedside, her laying there unresponsive, knocked the breath from my lungs. I paused, coming back to reality, before I could address the new patient in front of me. Caring hurts sometimes, but don’t give up you sense of empathy and compassion.

It’s hard to find people at home to listen, to explain the horrors you went through. Even when you don’t want to talk about it, what you saw at work is still playing in your mind. Your family doesn’t really understand, or they don’t want to hear gory details of someone else’s tragedy. They do not understand that it’s your tragedy too.

I hope you have some good days at work, sweet nurse. I hope you take care of yourself at home. I hope you’re reminded in little ways why you do this job.

Love, J-

[hyacinth-willow]

as you know, the immune system walks a fine line between being absolutely useless and killing you

immunology professor this week (via hyacinth-willow)

I mean, a fever is basically your immune system going, “LET’S SEE WHO BURNS FIRST, MOTHERFUCKER.”

(via thebastardofgloucester)

#ALSO MOST DEADLY ILLNESSES ARE ONLY DEADLY BECAUSE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS TRYING TO HELP

(via fightthecoldwithspices)

[truecrimerip]

The Man Without A Heart

Doctors from the Texas Heart Institute have successfully replaced a patient’s heart with a device that keeps the blood flowing, thereby allowing him to live without a detectable heartbeat or even a pulse. 

The turbine-like device, that are simple whirling rotors, developed by the doctors does not beat like a heart, rather provides a ‘continuous flow’ like a garden hose. 

Craig Lewis was a 55-year-old, dying from amyloidosis, which causes a build-up of abnormal proteins. The proteins clog the organs so much that they stop working. When doctors put a stethoscope to his chest, no heartbeat or pulse can be heard (only a ‘humming’ sound).

[nursingmemes]

Just like #GreysAnatomy

[adventuresintraumaland]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

[nursingistheshit]

When it’s 4pm and I finally get to take my lunch break

[nursingistheshit]

When I’m heading down the hall and I see a persistent family member pop out into the hallway

[nurseanonymous-blog]

I’ve always done my best to avoid working on daylight savings, and yet, here I am. Hope the rest of you are enjoying your extra hour of work as much as I am.

[thebatnurse]

This was the first time since I started at the hospital that I didn't have to work the 13 hour night.

[itsaboutnursing-deactivated2016]

[nursingistheshit]

5 patients, 3 are on contact precautions, 4 blood sugars, 1 heparin drip, 2 incontinents with AMS..... and no tech.

[ourloveandtrials]

Help

Is there any other nursing students out there who are left continually wondering when everything is going to fit together? There is just so so much to learn.

At what point do we become confident…. ?

[thebatnurse]

This is not going to make you feel any better, but you don’t become confident until about a year after you’ve been working in the field.  Nursing school exists to teach you a process; to teach you how to think like a nurse should think.  To give you a baseline of information above a layperson’s that you can build on.  To give you the barest of nursing knowledge.  To test your mettle and make you come to a decision if you really want to do a job this difficult, because nursing school is very difficult, and to test your confidence to see if you are capable of proceeding in a safe way even if you don’t have all of the information at your disposal, to know your resources and the best way to utilize them.

I was out of nursing school for about a year and a half, and in acute care for a year before I felt confident in my skills and started to embrace the nurse culture because I overcame the fear that came with not knowing.  I felt safe to proclaim “I’m an RN” because I was no longer afraid that I wouldn’t know the answers to people’s questions, and more importantly I realized that it was okay if I didn’t know.

The most important thing in nursing school are clinical instructors that let you know you’re proceeding along the proper trajectory, because comfortable isn’t something that will enter your mind until you’re long out of school, but good instructors will make sure you know all of this and will be giving you feedback to let you know if you have deficiencies to address and will support you as you learn.

[copingnurse-deactivated20240217]

Admittedly, our normal is a bit skewed. Most people do not think of a hospital like a second home or hear the sounds of a ventilator in their sleep. Most people do not know the stress of being responsible for another life.

We see the sickest, weakest, parts of life. Parts of life that involve an unjust amount of pain. We see the unfair. The 29 year old mother of two, brain dead on arrival from a ruptured aneurysm. The sweet 48 year old man with a brain tumor that will kill him in months. The family members fighting like hooligans, rather than showing love and support to their relative. Some things should not have to happen. A parent should not have to bury their child because of cancer.  A blood clot should not kill a mom just as all of her kids left the nest. Our work lives are punctuated with devastating stories and losses that should not be. We do not want to accept this as reality, these stories reinforce our own frailty. It’s too real- too close to home.

But every now and then, we see the beautiful parts of life. The kind man that nearly died gets better and walks out of the hospital, while his wife of 58 years holds his hand, tears of joy in her eyes. Family members that show their loved one support, and kindness. An aneurysm was caught and treated before it  ruptured and young mother lived to go home to her children.

We bring our the best in each other too, last week a coworker bent over backwards to help me, when he could have looked the other way. My patient, confused, combative, screaming and cursing. My friend was by my side all night. My reinforcement, my ally, my brother. The awful things my patient screamed did not hurt me, but my friend hurt for me. On a different night, eye contact across the unit with another friend conveys so many things: “Are you okay? Do you need help? I want to talk. You’re a good nurse.”

Of course, we’re affected by this job. When my mom does not answer her phone after several calls, I start to panic, my mind going to what I see everyday at work. We try not to let the stress, the pain, the fear bring out the worst in us, never at work, but we try not to let it out at home either.  Somewhere, a balance lies, but the fact remains, our normal is skewed.

[thebatnurse]

Truth

[nurseanonymous-blog]

When you eye up next week's schedule and see staffing holes every day

[nursingmemes]

Patient is sick, no known allergies…

[thebatnurse]

At my hospital, 3 nurses is an entire shift.