The Bear Maximum

!!

[tolkien-shitposting]

[tall]

[beemovieerotica]

if you work in a creative field...or if you do creative hobbies like writing or drawing...you need to make friends with people who don't do those things. you need to befriend normie Steve who has never written a story in his life. and this is because when you are in a creative job or hobby and spend all your time doing that thing, surrounded by very capable people, who you inevitably compare your own progress and skills to, you forget what the baseline human skill at that thing is. and it's usually zero. normie Steve has not written a story since the 3rd grade when his teacher made him do it. he's very good at other things that are not storytelling - but if you tell normie Steve that you wrote a full 300-page book from start to finish, he will think you're some kind of savant. he does not know ANYONE else who has done this. you need this perspective. because when you're constantly on Let's Write Stories dot Com then everyone on Let's Write Stories dot Com will inevitably be like "oh of course everyone on earth has written a book or several at this point!" and you canNOT let yourself think that. that is not even close to the average human experience. you are in a bubble. do not put yourself down. do not give up.

[suigintou]

i bet it feels good as fuck to erupt from the soil as a skeleton warrior

[scavengedluxury]

Ouffff

[iys-cloud]

I just got. The single funniest dm I've ever received in my entire life

Characters in media fighting back against the mind control:

[cobythinks]

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

[tomeofbirdcalls]

i keep referencing this stupid image when talking about tsfs so i made a proper edit

[chungledown-bimothy]

I fucking love when people give in-universe reasons for omegaverse shenanigans being a relatively new phenomenon and not just a fact of life. And this is probably my favorite out of all of them. Insane choice, and I want to kiss the author sloppy style about it.

As we all know, the Spanish Flu caused the omegaverse. Iconic.

[notlayingroses]

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

[imagine-darksiders]

[robotblues]

the brothers Area

[friend-crow]

[birds-in-posts]

Kelp gull (Larus dominicanus)

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[dancinbutterfly]

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

[podcastwizard]

i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today:

Dr. Fangs: He Prescribes Bites

[kouha]

Best customer I’ve ever had was when some rich white cape cod lady in a floor length fur coat came into my store and asked her daughters what sweated pants were and how to wear them and her daughters kept trying to explain what sweat pants were to her and she was completely and utterly flummoxed by them

[kouha]

She asked if sweat pants are bisexual and her daughter was like “unisex?” and she was like “sure”

[dykeselfcest]

shaking my head while I say things like "goldfish memory" and "shrimp colors" to indicate that while these are useful and vivid shorthands I don't support the scientific misconceptions that they're based on

[astrangertomykin]

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

[astrangertomykin]

Oh bother.

[dggeoff-deactivated20161128]

im deleting this fucking website

[best-chance-deactivated20161213]

It took me a minute

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Gotdamn I haven’t seen this post in almost a decade

[senso1954]

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

[deseretgear]

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

[kirbymongerr]

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

[beardedmrbean]

[silken-scarves]

Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.

[headspace-hotel]

This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.

[anarchautistic]

Final shot is the bird hearing, but not seeing, the sound of a .32 ACP pistol, and flying away in shock

[lilmaneater]

"From the studio that brought you Goncharov...."

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

”there are only the hands that feed her, and those that do not” yeah-