The Blank Notebook

Gif by the awesome and fabulous: justagirlnamedkayla On and off due to "Adulting" - Finished a Bachelor's now Onto a Master's Degree (add a job!!! to the list) I'll be on and off but I'm still here. Miss y'all. -Nikki. Hi, My name is Nikki, twenty something, more about me here, questions over here. This blog is mainly about; My ramblings, Body Positive, Self Love, Feminism and Social Justice, also it's 90% My Mad Fat Diary, and the 9% left is mostly; books, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Orphan Black, Hemlock Grove, Hunger Games, OUAT, The Walking Dead, Castle, Pitch Perfect, Orange Is the New Black, Outlander, some nsfw things from time to time too... and whatever else I like. A list of the books I have read and the book that I'm currently reading here and for reviews here. Disclaimer: All the images and content is NOT my property unless stated so by me. Any copyright infringement is unintentional, any material will be removed, if requested by the copyright holder.

[lifelovelaughterlarry]

In Bloom🌻

As most of you know, Hudson attended the Bell Media 2026 event in Toronto. I discussed previously both how much more himself he seemed at this event (compared to the CSAs), and how he hinted that he did actually see Connor this past weekend. In this installment, I want to discuss Hudson’s on-stage interview at the event. I can only add one video to the post sadly, so I picked the best one, but I will link all others. This is the first time we’ve seen Hudson actually give us a little insight into their relationship and what their lives look like now, at least that’s how I interpret it. Amazing what a little buffer-free boyfriend time can do for a man. Alright, let’s get started!

When did you know?

The interviewer’s question was “what was it like to develop that [chemistry with Connor] and when did you know he was going to be your bestie?”

This is Hudson’s response:

… Y’ALL?! I need to break this down because I can’t handle it.

“It was really great. Connor and I kind of clicked right away” This echoes what Connor (and Hudson) have said about their chemistry before. Connor, most notably, said “nothing really had to click, it was there” about their chemistry. So it’s nice to get another reminder about it, the 5 second speechless Zoom stare anyone? Nonetheless, this reminder served as the perfect primer for the next part of his statement.

“I think we quickly knew what our relationship would bloom into and it’s been really lovely.” Said with the most genuine and fond tone. This is the first we’ve got them talking about their relationship and sharing anything about it, like the way he said it’s been really lovely so far. It literally sounded like Hudson answered a question about how his and Connor’s relationship is going, except she never asked that - it seems like Hudson wanted to answer that though! I’m so excited to get more little tidbits where they can talk as candidly as they can about how things are going with each other. But that’s not all, becuase Hudson said “relationship”, he didn’t say “friendship” or “bestie” like the interviewer. Remember, Hudson doesn’t lie, he loves plausible deniability - hence why we got “emotional support person in life” out of the GGs interviewer asking if Connor was his emotional support co-star. Hudson is the one driving this!

Hudson often escalates the language while also making it more vague so nothing is clearly romantic but neither is it clearly platonic. If he was trying to talk about his bestie Connor, there was no reason for him to describe it this way. “Bloomed” is much more serious, it’s slower and and much more permanent (typically used for romantic relationships), versus say “blossomed” which is often used for friendships or developing skills. So, the fact that he said they both knew what they relationship would bloom into, says so much. Hudson and Connor knew from day 1 this was something special and that their relationship was always headed for something more. I cannot stress enough how amazing that is! No wonder we heard what we’ve heard about them during filming. Is it not so precious to imagine them meeting and slowly falling in love over the course of shooting and beyond? Ugh they’re killing me guys.

In Bloom

Speaking of getting tidbits about their relationship, there’s one other moment I wanted to talk about from this interview. In my opinion, this quick little moment gives us an example of what their life looks like now that their relationship is in bloom (no matter when you think that happened). When Hudson was talking about not being used to the level of fan Heated Rivalry has attained around the globe he says this as an example: “you think it’s going to be a nice little vacation and then you hear Hudson Hudson Connor Connor.”

In my opinion, this can mean two things. It could mean that Hudson and Connor have taken private vacations together in Europe and been surprised that the fans recognized them, but since we haven’t heard about that, I’m more inclined to say it’s the second option. The only time Hudson and Connor have been in Europe together publicly was for work, not vacation… and yet we have that picture of a fan from walking around Venice the day they did the Olympic Torch Relay. This shows us Hudson and Connor consider time with each other to be relaxing and not work (unlike how we see Hudson view buffering with K). In January, they were literally on vacation experiencing everything new with their partner by their side the whole time. If that’s not love in full bloom, what is?

Initiation -> Formation -> Full Bloom

One day when HudCon’s story comes out in full, these photos will make history.

[rosegarden06]

Thank you, Aika 🤤

[handsywoman]

strangers to colleagues to friends to soulmates <3

[readingkat]

It gets to a point..

The fact that some people rather believe that Hudson is an absolute jerk who treats his " girlfriend " like shit and therefore get angry at him than to be willing to change their minds about K and what role she plays in his life, tells me everything I need to know about the state of this fandom.

And before people come at me: I am not saying he is perfect or put him on a pedestal. And, since I know people like to say this or play the misogyny card, without even knowing what misogyny actually means 🙃,its also not criticizing K .

But the fact that so many people can see all the tension, his cold behaviour, her annoyance ,the way they both look uncomfortable all the time, but the only conclusion for these people is : Hudson is a jerk, he needs to make a decision, his behaviour gives them the ick, K deserves better.. and yes these are all the things I had to read in the last days.

I think I explained my POV a few times: I think that H and C are a couple and that K is helping them out as a cover up, buffer, beard or whatever you want to call it at this point.

But she only does it, because thanks to shitty DM and that sus tiktok account, they were both put into that situation, because that girlfriend thing blew up immediatly and they were stuck.

But I think both of their behaviour shows that they are absolutely tired of that situation and pretending and thats exactly why they act the way they act .

And also, the way Hudsons treats women in general, how respectful and supportive he always is. I refuse to believe that he would treat his girlfriend like this. There is simply no way.

So maybe, just maybe, Hudsons behaviour and also of course Ks behaviour is based on the fact that they are both stuck in a situation they both do not want to be in and not because Hudson is a shitty person who is just too much of a coward to make a decision ( yep thats exactly what someone said about him) .

And maybe just maybe it is time to change your POV and trust me, from my own experience and from what some mutuals have told me, a lot of things will begin to make a lot more sense, if you let go of the girlfriend perspective.

Because it gets to a point where its just very obvious what is going on.

If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck, maybe it simply is a freaking duck 😉🙃.

[orangejune217]

Responding to change with constancy

A close friend of mine used to be a celebrity publicist. Now she manages several stand-up comedians. I once asked her why, given how rapidly modern society is developing, Hollywood PR tactics remain the same old playbook “simple and crude”.She gave me a simple analysis:

The reason Hollywood PR feels so stubbornly formulaic isn't because the industry is stagnant ，it's precisely because it uses a highly stable underlying philosophy to cope with an extremely volatile environment. Those seemingly unchanged tactics have actually been quietly reshaped at their core.

The underlying logic remains the same: it's all about "story" and "relationships." The foundation of Hollywood PR is narrative control. The core has always been "covering a bad story with a good one."

Conservatism forced by the macro environment: higher risks, smaller budgets. If the logic hasn't changed, why does the approach feel so rigid? Because the environment has become so harsh that "making no mistakes" now matters more than "standing out."

Tactics are "evolving": hiding the ugliness deeper. Precisely because the macro environment has worsened, the specific methods have actually been "upgrading" ，only in ways that are more hidden and more sinister.

The "formulaic feel" of Hollywood PR is, in essence, a defensive uniformity. The industry is going through turbulence — talent drain, frequent lawsuits, budget cuts. Instead of taking risks with new tricks that could backfire, it's safer to retreat into the most secure mode.

We revisited the topic of Hollywood's "homophobia" ： why does Hollywood always present a contradictory state of "progressive illusion" coexisting with a "conservative core"?

Surface-level "progress":

Rainbow flags flying high

On a public level, Hollywood’s LGBTQ+ visibility is indeed very high: · A surge in content: A large number of films and TV shows featuring significant LGBTQ+ characters have emerged, some even winning the Oscar for Best Picture (e.g., Moonlight). · Stars coming out: Popular actors like Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey are open about their sexual orientation — something unimaginable decades ago. · Proactive messaging: Major studios and awards seasons actively promote diversity, which has become a business of "political correctness."

The real "dilemma":

Why are stars afraid to come out?

Yet, in the corners beyond the spotlight, "homophobia" operates in more subtle ways:

The "glass ceiling" of a career Coming out is seen as "career suicide." Actor Ben Whishaw once said that to succeed, one must "conform to the so-called mainstream heterosexual aesthetic" or "present sexuality in a heterosexual way." Lee Pace (The Hobbit) remained silent about his private life until he was effectively outed in 2018. Actor Jack Coleman also admitted after playing a bisexual role that actors who play gay characters often feel the need to "prove themselves" by posing with cigars and family photos.

The "closet" culture still thrives

Comedian Caleb Hearon once pointed out: "People think it's glamorous to be gay in Hollywood, but the truth is they don't want us." He bluntly said that many "straight male idols" people adore are actually gay but afraid to come out. The harsh reality of casting is that openly gay actors are often typecast and confined to playing gay roles.

Why is such an ostensibly open industry so conservative? At its core, it’s driven by money. If an actor comes out as gay, they may lose the chance to play "straight heroes" ， and with that, access to global markets in more conservative regions. Hollywood fears the commercial risk behind the "gay" label. That’s why it can proudly award Moonlight while, behind closed doors, being deeply uncomfortable with an actor’s sexual orientation during auditions.

So it’s always the same formulaic PR tactics to mask deep-rooted homophobia. Nothing new under the sun. It’s been this way for decades. Maybe I’m just used to it by now.

(English isn’t my native language ， it’s my third ，so I hope I’ve made my thoughts clear.)

[cakepopsandcoffee]

Shane chasing Ilya's lips.

[hollanov26]

She gets a picture in a montage with the most awkward couple pose ever and then there is Connor front and center with a big ass heart drawn around him while he’s laying in bed with Shane. Draw your own conclusions.

[serenthelioness]

Me and That Man…

[serenthelioness]

It’s So Easy

See how easy it would be to get just one photo like this - unposed and unprompted? Instead we keep seeing distance, formality, and quite honestly avoiding interaction entirely. Even in posed couple photos, the lack of connection is evident.

Hudson says the “partner” keeps him stable, but I wonder if that’s more of a projection he puts on her and his other Vancouver friends as his connection to home and his former idea of normalcy. It’s one thing to be soothed by someone, but something else to have someone actively soothe you.

I say this because Sunday night, we saw him continue to look on every other direction for connection, Jacob, Sophie, etc. we’ve seen how much he and Connor stay glued together for support when they’re at events like the reports from the CAA Oscars party.

Yet with the “partner” it seems he doesn’t seek her out for that moment - just to catch each other’s eyes for reassurance.

When he won, he turned inward (in my head to connect with Connor in his mid’s eye) before getting up - even when she touched him, he didn’t acknowledge it. He turned around to look at the “daddies” before getting out of the aisle.

Now maybe these moments were captured that night and just haven’t surfaced, but honestly it doesn’t seem to exist from Sunday night or any night. Even the V-Day post was lukewarm energy.

If evidence of this kind of easy connection existed, we would have seen it by now. And quite frankly, even if they did it now, I wouldn’t believe it was anything more than a PR effort.

[afro-star]

Back Again

Hudson said back in December that he was media trained but not coachable. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤣. I don't think enough people paid attention to that.

So, before I get into, I want to say this, because I think it's important. Some of us think Hudson and K never dated. Some of us think they dated in the past but are currently exes and have been for a while. Some of us think that Hudson and K are currently together but it is strained. Some of us think Hudcon is together now, some of us hope they get together soon, and some of us just enjoy watching the bond and friendship. The thing that we all shouldn't have in common is the overwhelming sense that something is not clean in the cooking where Hudson and K is concerned. But we do, and I don't care what you say that is odd. To have different opinions on the nature of a relationship but still come to the same or similar conclusions is a red flag to me 🚩. That's why I do my posts, because I have to get my thoughts out, and hopefully it makes others feel like they're not being constantly gaslit.

The Pattern: I and several other mutuals have spoken at length about the pattern that has emerged with how Hudson presents K and Connor. Essentially, if Hudson does anything related to K, talks about her, posts her on IG, he has to follow it up with Connor. Recently we saw this with the Met Gala GRWM Museum story, mentioning Connor last in his speech after K, and now in Hudson's CSA's photo dump, posting that very familiar heart around Connor after a picture of Hudson and K in a collage. Connor comes last so that your last impression is Hudson's affection for Connor, it practically cancels out what came before with K and the reason why we were able to figure out this pattern is because it's so obvious and consistent.

A Buffer for the Buffer and Poses: A lot of people focus so much on the presence of K with Hudson they forget the presence of other people with H/K. Aika with H/K in Paris. Aika and Connor, with H/K in Italy. Zack with H/K at the Oscars. She may be a buffer to distract from Hudcon but it's like Hudson needs the buffer of others so he doesn't have to play up "the happy couple" too much. The first thing I noticed when he was on the red carpet was that his mom and dad joining the picture instantly diluted any romantic nature to the picture for me. Now I know that the media and everyone else wanted to play up Hudson bringing his gf and parents as a cute "big happy family" moment, but if we're going to go there, then I guess this moment at the Montreal premiere counts too, because Connor didn't need to pose in this picture.

Poses: My rule of thumb when people get dismayed over any picture of H/K that looks remotely romantic in nature is to do a mental checklist, and it checks out every time. 1) Have I seen Hudson do this pose with other women before? 2) Have I seen Hudson do this pose with other men before? 3) Have I seen Hudson look happier and more engaged in the other photos? 4) Is he the happiest in the ones with Connor? You can call me biased but the answer is yes, every time. Hudson as we've seen is a tactile person and it's not hard to find an equivalent picture of him in most of the poses he does with K with someone else. Now, when you look at the older pictures I see more happiness, but I also don't see any raw attraction either. Everything that is current, looks like the photographer told Hudson and K how to pose, they did it and then probably jumped apart right after. If you don't believe me, go look at that video of them waiting for their car after the VF party. He looks joyful in the pictures with friends and enamored in the ones with Connor 🤷🏽‍♀️. Also, there's a difference between holding and being held, and he's been held by someone who clearly makes him feel safe and that overrides any picture that got posted today in my book.

Valentine's Day 2.0: There is something about the CSA's using that picture of Hudson and Connor when Heated Rivalry won for Best Drama Series. For one those of that watched the show can easily place this scene because it came after that scene 🤠. A very tender moment after a very sexy moment with both characters being vulnerable. Showing them bare chested is titillating 😉but also highlights the vulnerability in Connor and Hudson's performances.

Hearts ❤️: When I got off from work and saw people posting the picture I rushed to IG to make sure it was real. I couldn't believe Hudson did it again, but he did. I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. After the Valentine's Day IG story, I was so surprised that so many people were dismissive of Hudson including Connor in that post with a heart around his face. I said then that the Game was Afoot, and we were in new territory, and I don't feel like I've been wrong since then. Hudson and Connor are navigating everything the best way they can, but what is amazing is that they are still locked in with each other, and I'm tuning out the noise, because as my dad likes to say it's apples and cans trying to compare H/K to Hudcon. There is no comparison, and she truly is a non-factor. I said in February when I did my first post considering Hudcon was together romantically, that the relationship I was focusing on was Hudcon because it's the one that they protect and have shared the most about. If you're paying attention H/K is for public consumption, Hudson and K aren't' for themselves, Hudson and Connor are and that's what I always come back to.

A Callback and a Hint: Hudson may still be navigating how he wants to engage on social media now that he's more famous, and sometimes he seems impulsive to us "RPFing gotta stop y'all." However, I still think he's in more control than some people think. I never thought that heart around Connor was some joke to laugh off. It was on purpose, and doing it again today, immediately reminded all of us of his inclusion of Connor in that V-Day post, not of his relationship with K. That's why he included it the first time around, so that you'd remember that that's where his heart is. Also, the intimacy of circling a heart on a picture of him in bed with Connor isn't lost on me either. Hudson tends to use language that places he and Connor in the first person when he should be talking about Shane and Ilya. That wasn't a heart around Ilya that was for Connor. Also, after the people flipped out about "Woo" a month ago, using a throwback song like "Cherish" from when I was closer to his age, by a girl group out of ATL, where Connor currently is, come on now. I'm connecting those dots I don't care.

No matter what you think is going on, it really is best to sit back and observe, because this thing has a lot of moving parts, and Hudson and Connor are always moving towards each other, so I think we're good and they are too. Now in honor of Peabo Bryson (RIP), here's another throwback.

[literary-claustrophobia]

As soon as Shane realized he was gay, that mf Locked In. He said, we need to get this relationship Sorted, hired a stylist, and showed up to All Stars weekend ready to lock down the best dicking he had ever gotten in his life. And it worked.

[beelesbians]

[lexicanons]

Post TLG Shane and Ilya have a huge fight, and Shane goes to the guest bedroom to sleep. He’s lying in bed, wide awake, when the door flies open and Ilya walks in. He silently climbs into bed, back to Shane. Shane turns to look at Ilya’s back but doesn’t say anything. He just gets out of bed with a huff and goes back to their room. If Ilya wants the guest bedroom, he can have it. Shane climbs into their bed and starts to situate himself when Ilya comes into the bedroom and gets into bed. Shane rolls his eyes, hops out of bed and goes to the couch. He’s pulling the blanket around himself when Ilya enters the room and sits on the other end of the couch. He grabs a blanket and puts it on himself.

“What is your problem?” Shane asks. “I gave up our bedroom and the guest room and now you’re here.”

“We sleep in same place no matter what.” Ilya says as he swings his legs into the couch. “So stay or I follow you around home.” His feet touch Shane’s but Shane pulls his legs away from Ilya.

“Fine, goodnight.” Shane curls up on the couch to sleep. He isn’t sure how much time has passed but he can tell Ilya is asleep by his breathing. Shane sits up and just stares at Ilya for a while before carefully getting off the couch. He goes over to Ilya and picks him up, carrying him to the bedroom. “Wha?”

“You can’t sleep on the couch. It’s not good for your back.” Shane explains as he lays Ilya on the bed.

“Do not go to couch.”

“I’m not.” Shane climbs into bed beside Ilya. He presses a kiss to Ilya’s temple. “Goodnight. Love you.”

“If I say sorry, do I get proper kiss and proper I love you.”

Shane kisses Ilya on the lips. “Ya tebya lyublyu.”

[smesr]

He looks straight into the camera when he says "I share this award with you" and then the tears come

Its so melancholic

[readingkat]

The fond is fonding

I think one of my favorite things about hudcon is the fond look on their faces when they look at each other:

The way their faces soften the moment they look at the other one♥️:

The tenderness and love in their eyes:

Sometimes it almost feels too intimate to watch:

And sometimes even just mentioning the name of the other one or seeing them on a video can bring the fond and tenderness to their faces🥹:

It feels like such a blessing to see these moments between them and I hope they never stop fonding 🤭😉

[huddyconniebuttbabies]

Thinking of Hudson sitting on Connor's lap at the Met Gala after party.

C is just very lightly tapping his fingers over H's Sex Sells tattoo as they're in conversation with another A-lister gushing over their acting.

Within minutes Connor - pulling off being a really active listener - starts firmly rubbing circles around the tattoo. H knows if C keeps going his micro shorts are bound to get really tight on the biggest fashion night of the year and in front of half of Hollywood.

He stands up and before he’s finished excusing himself to whomever they’re talking to now C gets up, presses on H’s lower back and says “Yeah, good idea, I’ll go as well… a little too many drinks, not enough dancing”.

They power walk to the bathroom looking straight ahead, because if they can’t see people watching them walking together again they can convince themselves nobody ever noticed.

They don’t remember which model told them the story, it was a few songs and 2 very strong cocktails ago, but three years ago a singer and a model were caught having sex against the door of the slightly hidden private bathroom.

The way H had squeezed C’s pinky when they were faux gasping at the story was the moment they knew they’ll end up in that small room.

The stars align and 20 seconds later they’re already triple checking if the door had locked properly.

The rest is a mess of “It’s so fucking hot in here, I’m red and sweaty” as the shorts and underwear are being pulled down by the elastic waistband.

“Be careful, it’ll show on that dark suit”.

“I’m not letting a single drop escape my mouth”.

The combination of different types of alcohol, knowing he must be silent, the lack of sleep and too many hours of being high on adrenaline create a highway to heaven. After what feels like way too soon H takes his eyes off the ceiling and looks down, C’s eyes meet his and one nasty swirl of his tongue later H’s making sure he’s so deep that truly nothing spills.

As soon as his breath stabilises he’s shakily trying to take a photo of Connor drinking & trying to ensure he walks out of the bathroom without come on his breath. Instead he manages to snap a real nice photo of C’s artistic interpretation of what happened a minute before.

H loves taking photos right after they have sex. The pics are hardly ever of Connor, never of naked Connor. No iCloud leaks will mess up their career.

But he likes scrolling through his secret little album. A photo of the way sun was shining through the curtains when they had 2 days to themselves previously in NY. The interior of C’s white Rubicon when he drove him back to the airport after their 5 hour long hook up in LA. The 6 cups of Coke Zero with extra ice they had delivered to their room to cool off after another case of subjectively the hottest sex anyone has ever had in the history of planet Earth. The memories connected to these photos are always still vivid many months later.

This one is a little different. Maybe he won’t have to hide this one. As much as he’ll always know what it symbolises, for anyone else it’s just a funny photo of Connor drinking cold water at a very hot party, right?

As they leave the bathroom - just like they went in - together, a server in the middle of the main room saves them. They each grab two ice cold flutes of something and gulp the first ones so fast the server is still close enough to take back their glasses.

They walk towards the same area where they were sitting before. And because everything in their relationship is equal, fair and reciprocated they ask about time and realise they have only about 25 minutes left for H to return the favour. They start by swapping who’s sitting in whose lap.

[theblanknotebook]

Bless you 🙏🏼✨

[theloonatthecottage]

have you all seen this??? this is so funny hahahahaha rachel being asked whether she thinks about hudcon whenever writing hollanovand then she said she was more worried about people thinking that she was thinking about them during the sex scenes 😆😆😆 like she was creating a request list for them to do 😆😆😆😆 QUICK HUDCON please do the hollanov challenge and do all the sex scenes

also, i take this as confirmation that unrivaled is going to be adapted too btw 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️