Nerd. For. Literature. (The Fandom Kind) @thebooki3h - Tumblr Blog

whenever I vote in a poll and choose the most popular option I am a champion and when I pick the least popular option I am part of the revolutionary underdog class fighting against the posers

charming-cherry

CEO of disappearing and ignoring people when I'm not in the mood.

incorrectphineasandferbquotes

Stacy: What'd you make for Jeremy?

Candace, staring at the food she just burned: Regret.

incorrectphineasandferbquotes

Phineas: My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they need to go. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

wizardnuke

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

aethersea

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

fieldbears

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

mzminola

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

aethersea

my harem?

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

kitten-kin

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

madilayn

Tag to this - the biggest secret is the Queen who runs the Kingdom’s spy network. It’s the envy of all the other Kingdoms around, and not a few nobles! Not ALL of the Kingdom’s Diplomats are spies. But many of their servants are. The Queen grew up as a neglected child, and she learned how servants are ignored, but who always know everything that goes on. Many of the spies are like the Queen - beautiful and seemingly vacuous. The sp[ies tend to have great fun, and also work closely with the Concubines

aethersea

#everyone is furious when the king picks his bride #a minor princess! of a minor ally! she’s not even that pretty or smart or anything! #but at least when the king marries her he’ll have to get rid of his harem #or at the VERY LEAST stop FLAUNTING them everywhere #if nothing else her family will object to this insult to her honor

#BUT THEN

#somehow she’s befrIENDED THE CONCUBINES

#sometimes they follow HER around!! in public!!

#the king and queen are s h a r i n g t h e h a r e m

#never has the court been so furious and scandalized all at once #it’s a genuine shock to all of them when ten years later no one has even once tried to overthrow the royal family #(they’re wrong there have been no less than thirty attempted coups twelve of which nearly succeeded) #(but the harem and the spy network are VERY good at their jobs)

I received parental validation growing up, I did. I was encouraged to learn and my interests were supported.

That sounds all well and good until I add that everything was building up for college. That’s all my dad thought about.

He pushed me to learn more math than I needed to at my grade level, for college.

He encouraged me to try clubs and sports for college.

He encouraged me to read more, even though it was fiction, for college.

This wasn’t always explicitly stated especially around my own interests, but the undertone of “for college” was always there.

There are very few things I can think of that weren’t somehow tied to me getting into college. Everyone in my family talked about college to me.

I get that as you get older especially in high school that’s what you hear but my father was talking to me about college in 2nd grade.

I was praised for my achievements, but they never felt like enough for college, there was never enough.

I was constantly grilled about my friends and their ambitions, and they were always placed on a scale of college worthy or not. I could see it in my parents eyes that they were looking for bad influences to lead me away from college.

Acedemic success was the primary source of praise that I received once I hit 3rd grade. Everything else was secondary. My interests were allowed as long as they didn’t get in the way and for a long time that was fine.

I could read in class because the material was easy to absorb. I could read for hours at home because the homework was easy and I enjoyed the pursuit of knowledge. When actual success and achievement played a role in how my parents loved me, that was when it began to crumble.

I had no study habits and I avoided making them because I could usually get away with doing nothing extra bedsides homework. When I was forgetful or I procrastinated I was told to “try harder” or “do better”. Any actual advice amounted to those two sentiments but never helped.

My parents couldn’t figure out why when they told me to just study, it didn’t work. When grounding me and punishing me for reviving bad grades did nothing but push me away.

I tried asking for help, for something that would actually be useful to me, but their advice always amounted to the same things. Then I became an age where it was my fault, which frankly was too early. My forgetfulness and lack of ability to focus on studying, even when I asked for help was always my fault.

So by the time I got to the 8th grade I stopped asking and I was told that I would bring my grades up (Which were mostly As with the occasional B)

For college was my only source of validation, it was when I was given affection or at the very least validation. They told me they loved me I could feel it in the sense that they meant it but it always felt conditional.

I’m in college now and it’s very conditional because now it’s for medical school. Everything is for medical school which was a deduction that I made at 10 because I was given 3 options.

Doctor, Lawyer, engineer. I choose doctor because it sounded nice. If it wasn’t for college it was for medical school. It feels like that’s what my life has become even if it’s much more of a disappointment to them.

They can’t imagine I should struggle so much when I was so academically successful in elementary school.

My life has been for college, and I don’t even know what I want anymore other than to just exist and be loved for me and not the future accolades I could provide for my parents. I want to be held and feel loved and not feel for college. I’m tired of college, I’d like to be free of college, I wonder what that feels like?

Phineas and Ferb Marvel episode

So I just watched the phineas and ferb marvel specials and y’all remember that Baljeet get turned into Hulk-Jeet? and also that ironman gave ferb his card for an internship?

I want a fic thats a MCU phineas and ferb crossover that includes those details. They never actually reversed the Hulkification of Baljeet. I just want that

Consider:

Fury walking into avengers tower :STARK

Peter, an exhausted mentally unstable teenager who hasn’t slept in probably several days, but also has gen z humor who is on the ceiling : STARK?? like stark NAKED *falls*

Tony, who also hasn’t slept for several days: WHOS NAKED THERE IS A CHILD

Fury:

Fury: *walks out*

Ya know that one spy kids movie where there was a deaf kid and the bad guys henchman took his hearing aids and the Bad Guy was like dude???? where are your manners???? That’s a kid trying to thwart me and he can’t hear my evil monologue???? Give him back his hearing aids??? They’re not weapons??? Common sense pls??? you’re embarrassing me cmon man

I want that in more things. Where the henchmen take away something that the Hero(s) need, like a wheelchair or hearing aids or guide dog or cane or something and the Bad Guy is like wtf Gerald? We have standards man. And like the hero is still perfectly capable of kicking the Bad Guys ass, even without the thing that helps with their disability, but the Bad Guy is just like they need that wheelchair??? 1. Do you want to carry them so they can listen to my backstory bc you took away their custom mega expensive wheelchair???? 2. It’s a custom wheelchair Gerald, it’s built for speed, comfort and style look at it Gerald it matches their color-scheme

Really I’m picturing a doofenshmirtz type guy who’s like evil, but with standards

And imagine the Bad Guy find out that the henchman like broke the hero’s thing, and the bad guys just like you broke their hearing aids??? That’s so unnecessary man and rude. I though we talked about manners Gerald. Here hero have some money ( proceeds to hand hero like 10x the amount they would need for a replacement thing) and I apologize for these henchmen and their lack of manners

Yea I want that

My grandmother is a goddess.

This woman

grew up with nothing in the Philippines

convinced a white man in the US, over letters, to marry her and bring her over to the states in her early 20s.

Went to midwife school

Worked in a hospital for over 50 years

Had 3 planned kids and a surprise kid ( my mother) in the 70s

Saved enough money to bring HER mother from the Philippines to the states to help raise the kids ( both of my grandparents had time consuming jobs and that’s just what she knew)

Is multilingual even though her English isn’t that great ( who cares this woman is a queen)

Supports all of her adult children in any way she can 2/4 of them have moved back home in some capacity ( one with both of her children in tow after 2 divorces)

Watched 7 grandchildren during the summer and after school whenever it was needed for about 14 years consecutively ( not all at the same time because we’re a bunch of different ages)

Flys back to her family every two years with a fuck ton of boxes of stuff to give them

Sends her family a fuck ton of boxes of stuff at least once a year ( most times twice a year, and I’m talking at least 4 giant boxes)

Has helped her children buy cars and house no question( this has unfortunately happened a few times, and my grandfather chips in too, but he’s been retired for about 20 years)

Has retired THREE TIMES and she got bored so she got ANOTHER JOB AT 82

She is very crafty, she likes to sew and knit and crochet ( I just love this about her)

She is the matriarch of her family in the Philippines and has been for like three decades. ( she outlasted several brothers but was the matriarch before that)

She regularly sends money to them too which helps support at least like 40 people

She owns a lot of property in the Philippines and lets people just live there that aren’t family. She also helps support them.

She was diagnosed with a crippling pain disorder like 40 years ago. The doctors told her that she would be in a wheelchair within 5 years of the diagnosis. She was in so much pain they prescribed her opiates. She said fuck no I’m not doing THAT. That’s LAME bitch. She has never used a wheel chair and she has not taken anything stronger than an ibuprofen for her pain. ( although she recently has had my mom driver her to a weed dispensary to get creams for her back, and I think it is adorable because she gets shy about talking about it)

She is also very smol. She is the shortest one in the family at like 4’ 10”

#grandmalove #grandma #grandma is my idol #she is a goddess #aqueen #a true queen #strong

hollowboobtheory

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

teaboot

"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"

teaboot

Alternatively,

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.

Wonderful. You take care."

nebulousboundsfloof

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

hollowboobtheory

hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer?

a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself

talvin-muircastle

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

tachyon-at-rest

@ingridverse

marlynnofmany

Now there’s an assassin story I haven’t heard!

adhesivesandscrap

“Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.“

THAT IS THE TRUTH THOUGH.

Some people are only alive bc they’re not worth the jail time.

talvin-muircastle

When your reblog comes back around and you see what happened since.

So this is where all the new followers came from.

REMEMBER KIDS: IF THE CUSTOMER REALLY WAS ALWAYS RIGHT, THEY WOULDN’T BE SELLING LOTTERY TICKETS!

xx-thedarklord-xx

Rucksacks and Smiles

Sirius tried to stand stoic like Remus, but he had never been good at hiding his feelings. Always got him in trouble with his parents. His mother, may she rest in hell, used to say his bleeding heart was on display for the world to see.

He tried. He really tried to hold it together, but everything was so different now, and he didn’t like it.

“Will you quit pacing?” Remus asked, not even bothering to spare him a glance, his eyes were on a group of people who were clearly talking about them if their glares and not so subtle sneers were anything to go by.

“I’m just nervous,” Sirius huffed, running a hand through his previously pristine hair. “This is all a mistake.”

Sirius tried not to be bothered by the way Remus snorted, but what really got to him was the accompanying eye roll.

“We shouldn’t have let him go,” Sirius continued, fist slamming against his palm for emphasis. Five was too young. “So much could have gone wrong. What if Harry—”

“Sirius.” The amusement in Remus’ tone was almost enough to make Sirius hex him. “It’s just Magical Nursery Care. Harry is fine.”

“But what if the other kids are mean to him?”

Remus finally gave Sirius his full attention; eyes soft and lips stretched into a pretty smile that almost served as a distraction.

“Then he’ll have a sweet, caring but albeit overprotective and annoying parent to help pick up the pieces.”

Sirius’ heart clenched. “I’m not his—”

“You’re not his father, but we are the only parents he’s ever known.”

Silence stretched between them as Sirius tried to think of a way to explain the jumbled mess of emotions that pitted in his stomach, refusing to move.

Before he could say anything, the front doors opened and out came a rush of little demons all searching for their parents. Sirius stood on Remus’ feet in an attempt to see Harry better.

“Ow, get the fuck—”

“There are children present.” Sirius tried to be serious but failed at the rage on Remus’ face, and couldn’t stop the laugh that had been threatening to burst out.

“Moony!”

Sirius whipped his head at the distress in Harry’s voice. But it was the tear tracks and wobbly lips that gutted him.

Before Remus bent down, Harry jumped into his arms, small hands clinging to the back of Remus’ neck. Sirius felt helpless watching Harry cry, he would do anything to make it stop. Was that what parents felt like too?

“What happened?” Sirius asked, hand moving to pat the back of Harry’s back.

“They don’t like me.”

Sirius glared at Remus, that’s what he had been worried about.

“I’m sure there was someone—”

“No!” Harry shook his head so fast that his hair went all over the place, some strands falling into his eyes. “They made fun of my rucksack.”

His what?

That was when Sirius saw some kind of satchel on Harry’s back. It was inherently Muggle, especially considering the odd yellow bird of some kind stitched into the design.

“Oh.” Before Remus’ eyes closed, Sirius could see guilt in them and that just made him more confused.

“He picked it out,” Remus whispered when Sirius poked him in the arm, patience wearing thin. “Yesterday in Muggle London.”

“Well,” Sirius began, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think it’s cute.”

Harry sniffled as he wiped his eyes. “Really?”

Kind of. The bird gave him the creeps, but he could grow to love it!

“Absolutely.”

The smile he got in return was small and watery, but it was a start.

“Excuse me.”

Sirius blinked down into earnest silver eyes. The familiarity to them was a punch to the gut; memories of his youth bubbling to the surface, none of them good.

Harry wiggled until Remus let him down. There was a wary look on Harry’s face as he crossed his arms.

“What do you want?”

Keep reading

I want a love that is full of passion.

I want a soft love, with kind touches and small acts that brighten the day.

I want a comfortable love, where it’s home where ever we are.

I want a confident love, I never want to doubt the love we share.

I want a changing love, I want to grow and I’m sure you do too.

I want a small love, the little things, the actions, mean more than the big things sometimes.

I want an adventurous love, what can life be if we try new things and go new places.

I want a reassuring love, I am good as I am and you love me just as you are good as you are and I love you.

I want a judgemental love, I’m a weirdo and it’s ok for you to judge my acts of tomfoolery, if you indulge in my eccentricities.

I want a silly love, snowball fights and nerf gun wars are not just for children. I don’t believe in limited fun.

I want a serious love, I take my feelings for you seriously and I hope you do the same.

I want a supportive love, should you decide to quit your job because your unhappy I will be there to hold your hand.

I want a curious love, I always want to learn new things about you and I hope you feel the same.

I want a stern love, for when we are unreasonable and need to hear reason.

I want an understanding love, for when the days are hard and getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain.

I want an easy love, because there is a point where love is not worth it and we should work together.

I want a communicative love, talk to me so I understand, even if it is hard. I want to listen to you and hear your struggles, and know that you’ll do the same.

I want a reciprocated love, I will put the work in if you will too.

Romantic love is great and someday I’ll want that too and it will be all of the great things I want because someone will love me back, but today I’m satisfied with the way I love you.

#best friends #love #platonic #want #I want #all the types of love #love is nuanced

itsjuliak5

Someone on TikTok said that bitches with anxiety love the enemies to lovers trope because the idea of having someone see all of our negative traits first and then still fall in love with us is really comforting since we worry that if someone sees our negative traits after they fall in love, they’ll leave us.

It’s me, I’m bitches.

xx-thedarklord-xx