today I’m learning: networking while inexperienced and introverted
this is going to be geared toward the entertainment/film industry because that’s where I am right now, but I’m sure some of these things are true across multiple industries. I’ve been to two film festivals now so I know at least a little more than I did when I started:
everyone else wants to meet people also
if you walk into any event that has networking potential, you’re not walking into a stranger’s birthday party with the people they’ve known since childhood. and people there don’t see you the way your impostor syndrome does, they see you as a potential connection. they’re going to be treating you all the same ways Pinterest tells you to treat them - be friendly, be interested, find common ground, make plans to hang out later. it’s amazing how much easier it is to meet new people when the interest is mutual.
you’re not as fake as you think you are
if you’re like me, you may be a little paranoid about projecting only (or at least mostly) the positive things or making people feel like you’re using them. but the fact is, everyone else is doing the same thing. and somehow in the end you still end up expressing genuine opinions and having fun.
the same rule for making potential new friends anywhere else applies here: you don’t owe anyone your entire life story. find simple and honest ways of addressing the things it would be complicated to explain. if you’re brand new to the field and/or out of work, say you’re looking for new job opportunities and you’ll get across both the facts and a good outlook. if there’s a stupid reason why you learned a valuable skill, it doesn’t invalidate the skill, so there’s no need to present a disclaimer (having a funny story with a healthy sense of self-deprecating humor is nice though).
don’t expect people to ask you deep personal questions; they just met you too. and if they do, there’s no need to indulge them. you just met.
make note of the pros and cons of everything that’s presented
politics can get complicated if you’re in a situation where you’re expected to present an opinion on something you didn’t like while one of its creators is with you. at film festivals, this can happen a lot. it’s good to find both positives and negatives about every project that’s being presented so you can contribute to any conversation you might end up in. particularly in the arts, sometimes the things that made it not align with your tastes are completely intentional, and if the writer conveyed exactly the message they intended, it means they’re good at what they do. separate your opinion of a project from how well its creator executed their intent. they are two different things.
don’t say anything you don’t agree with
you want to find people you mesh with, and you don’t want to work with people you don’t. don’t seek out situations you don’t want to be in. yesterday I bonded with a director over the films we both disliked and an actress over a shared love of what I call entry level nerd media. if I had pretended that my tastes were more indie than they were, I would have wasted my time chasing people I wouldn’t enjoy working with and missed out on both of those highly satisfying conversations as well as potential new friends and/or important connections. the actress and I are in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw respectively, by the way.
be intentional about social drinking
common sense stuff. if it doesn’t fit with your beliefs or your lifestyle, you’re not missing out on something necessary, but if it does, it can help. it does not, however, help you to put yourself into a state where you’re not 100% in control of your words. by whatever healthy, moral, and legal means you prefer, find the best balance of confidence and self awareness you can.
you can, if need be, get business cards printed at a FedEx Office store. don’t create that need.
if it’s the day before an event and you just realized you forgot to print cards, it’s not too late! design something on a site like canva and take it to get printed as soon as possible. people hand out business cards like candy because it’s a much faster way to give someone your contact info than entering your number in their phone. it’s worth getting it done.
however. services that specialize in business cards are WAY CHEAPER. and they’re printed on better paper. if there’s time, do that instead.
a good way of offering someone your card without coming across as either too businesslike or too casual is saying you can give them your contact info!
follow up before it gets weird
this is, admittedly, one I’m still working on. it can take me a long time to decide how to word an email or text message to someone I don’t know well, so I have to set aside much more time than I think I should. but either that or just sending something simple is better than not keeping in contact at all.
this may be a quirk of the entertainment industry, but instagram is incredibly helpful as an easy follow up tool. follow people you want to follow, and if you have the time, go to the link in their bio and leave a comment if they posted about the event. we’re all on social media anyway so it puts you both at least next door to your comfort zones.
have fun and go make some friends!
