the coco powder

It's a crazy world out there so let's write about it! This space is flash fics, randomness, art, brain farts, madness and peace. Let's all get along. #BTS #NamJin #Ushijima #Haikyuu #KatekyoHitmanReborn #Science #Writing

[thecocopowder]

There goes the Starlings

The carousel turns under the desert night sky.

Whose idea was it for them to go to this festival? It's just that the promise of anonymity was too much of a temptation. The music becomes a deep sea to drown in. Disappear into.

Namjoon looks at you under his mask and you look at him under yours.

The layers become you and the honesty becomes him.

He holds your hand tight as you run forward bravely into the neon sea.

Over there you'll drown in the sound, buoyed by the bass and pummeled by the drumbeats.

It's okay.

You're with him and he's with you - you'll dance and sing and get lost in all that's fun and glorious and consequential.

That's okay.

So long as you have each other.

[taechnological]

DTS STORYLINE:

jan 2021:

mid 2021:

late 2021:

feb 2022:

[thecocopowder]

Somewhere there's heaven It's where you are Somewhere there's music How near, how far The darkest night would shine If you would come to me soon Until you will, how still my heart How high the moon

-- How High The Moon, Ella Fitzgerald

[thecocopowder]

Jin: wow the view here is beautiful (:

Namjoon: it is

Jin: you know what else is beautiful?

Namjoon: *blushes* oh stop–

Jin: me (:

[rwby-rose]

writing multi-chapter fics be like

[midnight-octopus-deactivated202]

character: it’s like I said-

me, scrolling through to seven chapters ago, muttering under my breath: yeah, what DID you say

[thecocopowder]

I love you, but that’s a terrible idea

#NamJin

The house is quiet save the filtering sound of music coming from the living room.  It’s loud enough to be heard but not so much to irritate. You notice that everything else is quiet and the rest of the spaces are dim, city lights filtering through and giving the whole place a dreamlike quality. You yourself feel like you are floating to where the music is.

Somewhere there's music, how faint the tune...

The room where the music is coming from is bathed in moonlight - the blinds drawn open and a soft voice filters singing with good ol’ Ella Fitzgerald as she asks question after question for the moon to answer. You stop short of entering because it’s his voice you hear.  The clear crystal-cut notes that fall from his mouth, heard loud and clear as if he is speaking directly to you.  

Somewhere there's heaven, how high the moon...

You watch him, like you always do.  You ponder, like you always do.  You make that half-step, like you always do. 

Then you recoil because you tell yourself to think rather than feel.  What can you see that this point? A present so clear or a future so bright?  The things, no, the person you want or the dream everyone is working hard to achieve?

So you push your own feelings inside that little pocket in your heart. 

Maybe tomorrow, maybe next time, maybe.

There is no love, when love is far away too...

“Is someone there?”  His voice breaks through the haze of thought you are in, you move to look inside the room. 

“It’s just me.” You say.

“Hey.” He looks at you expectant, eyes anticipating. Like you’re there to say something, anything that would make Ella proud.  

You look at him and your words are little stick figures at the precipice, in danger of falling, of speaking the truth. I love you, I always have! And still you hold back and say instead - “I heard music, maybe keep it down a little, the others are sleeping.”

And you see his broad, modelesque shoulders shift and roll out of disappointment? Anger? Something.

“Will do. I’ll head to bed after this one song. Goodnight.” But he is no longer looking at you.  He is now with Ella sitting under the night sky, looking up at the moon.

And you, you turn and walk back to your room, haunted by the words of a song that always, always knew better.

'Til it comes true, that you love me as I love you...

[thecocopowder]

New Beginnings

#NamJin

You’re a Tuesday kind of guy.

Less hectic than Mondays and people seem to have calmed down from the Manic Monday phase.  No more mass anticipation of what the week may turn out to be. Whatever will be, will be.

You realize that he is a Friday kind of guy - not that he’s lazy - he’s just more laid back than you are.  More forthcoming and open to what the days may bring. And he always wants to celebrate something.

It’s not a bad thing, you know this.

He chucks the empty Yan-Yan cup in the trash in the studio before he moves himself from the couch to the empty seat beside you.

The both of you are not even working on a song together, you’re working on something entirely different and separate.

“That’s a pretty emotional piece.” He observes and you look up to agree with him and give him a look that all musical pieces are emotional, you hope he understands this.

“This mix is almost done.” You answer before making sure to save everything in your portable hard drive. He says no more as he gets up and puts some items back in his Givenchy backpack.  You watch him from the corner of your eye and think that ‘tagging along since I’m bored’ never felt so good.

You stand up when it’s done saving and shake hands with the techs - thanking them for their time and hard work.

He’s left already - waiting for you, holding on to his sea blue bike.  So, you rush yourself a little bit, gear up and unlock your dusty pink one. Ready...

...ready to go home.

[lqnamjin]

[thecocopowder]

Sparkle

#NamJin

You breathe. 

He watches you in the daylight, skin pale but alive. He wants to reach out but there is just too much in the way - the wall of doubt - the ugly face of hunger and the stink of lust.

You mean no harm, you just want to him to want you or know if it’s even possible for him to want you like you want him to.

He laughs. That crackle, that pop in the middle of noon. 

That silly RJ t-shirt he loves so much, faded under sunlight.

And inside you feel restored and destroyed at the same time.

He waves at you, he brandishes his phone like a sword: like a code, like a well meaning signal. And then your own phone buzzes.

//Happy New Year// with some sparkly emojis here and there.

You smile and curse the space between you two, though it wasn’t much, it was offensive all the same.  You tell yourself that one day this desire might kill you and at the same time the resolution is there.

Life is ever-changing dreams and wishes become aspirations and aspirations turn to will.  One day, maybe sometime in the distant future there will be no space and there will be no more longing simply because he is yours.

[tributary]

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Yoongi: I trust Namjoon.

Jin: You think he knows what he's doing?

Yoongi: I wouldn't go that far.

[iradraws]

Meow meow meow

[helenasurvives]

queer is literally a slur. like you’ve never been called that in a derogatory context like most lgbt people? you think your experiences escaping homophobia make it okay to justify the use of a homophobic slur?

queer is an identity.

it has also been used as a slur. there is no denying that. but using a word as a slur does not make it a slur. because before queer is a slur it is an identity. before it is derogatory it is a label. the use of queer as an identity is infinitely more important than the use of queer as a slur because the people who identify as queer are infinitely more important than the people who use queer as a slur.

say a lot of people decided they hated me. despised me. were disgusted by me to the point where my own name became a slur. would you tell me not to say it? would you tell me i could no longer be helena, and instead must come up with a euphemism for the name that belonged to me decades before it belonged in the mouths of bigots?

because that would make you an enabler.

you would tell me i can’t say my name anymore because some lowlife decided he could use it to insult me?

you would tell a gay man that he can’t be gay anymore because some teens in the early 2000’s started calling everything they didn’t like “gay”, and now he has to say “same sex oriented male identifying individual”?

does that enrage you? because it should. that’s exactly how you sound.

you are telling me i cannot use my label. you are telling me that when my great-uncle shouted until his face was red and he spat tobacco and the word queer at my feet, he was right. he was right to insult me, and i was wrong to say my name.

you are shitting on every single one of our predecessors. you are slandering every person who fought for their rights to exist and and be tolerated and be celebrated in their countries, every person who was lost to the aids epidemic, every person whose country criminalizes love and gender expression, every child whose parents abandoned them for straying from the norm, every person who was born and will die in the closet longing to be themselves. the queer umbrella is a safety net, a security blanket, the comfort of being known without being pressured to tell. it is near and dear and important as fuck to every member of the lgbt+ community and you are a blight upon the earth you walk.

how dare you speak upon my experiences with homophobia. how dare you disguise your own homophobia as activism. and how fucking dare you have the audacity to come to my blog and hide behind an anonymous ask and preach to me about how i’m oppressing myself. go look at the fucking wikipedia page for queer and read about how 1980s lgbt+ activists, especially lgbt+ people of color, fought to call themselves queer in a world that still hates peculiar things. and here you are forty years later spitting queer back at their feet.

i don’t give a fuck if people start using my name as a slur. my name is still helena. i will not change it. i chose it, i like it, and it belongs to me. it does not belong to bigots no matter how badly they want it. your discomfort with my identity is not my fucking problem.

i am helena. i am queer. die mad & go fuck yourself

[helenasurvives]

it’s pride month babes reblog if you’re queer or if you like frogs

[remy-labelle-purple]

Next anon is going to tell fat people they aren't allowed to call themselves fat don't you know it's a slur that thin people use against fat people.

[solitarelee]

genuinely as a fat queer person this is a good example. do you know how many times fat ppl are told by thin ppl they can’t/shouldn’t call themselves fat, like, oh, no, you’re PLUS SIZED you’re CUDDLY you’re FLUFFY, like, fam, it’s fat. I’m fat. It’s not my body’s fault that you decided a perfectly normal word was an insult. Frankly the way queer ppl and fat ppl have mobilized around their words can be compared as well, as well as the way ppl try to disarm them by giving them more “harmless” or “pleasant” epithets. 

[autumnlovesotome]

I spent a lot of my life being told, and so believing, that queer is a slur.

My wife is queer.

I can accept that, even use it when talking to people about her identity (w/ her permission). But I still didn't really understand "queer is not a slur", because I grew up "knowing" that for some people, it IS a slur.

This explanation went a VERY long way too helping me understand.

Queer is an identity first. Queer people are infinitely more important than bigots.

Queer is not a slur.

[jenroses]

Queer is the only identity I have that has not shifted in some way since I started using it.

[alexseanchai]

I'd say "same" except that wouldn't quite be true: "genderqueer" hasn't stopped applying to me since I found the word and realized it's me, either

[captain-snark]

I also think it’s important to point out that the same people who shout ‘queer is a slur’ are the same people who tell bisexuals, pansexuals etc. etc. that they can’t use the word ‘gay’ to describe themselves. 

So you’re gonna tell us that the word we use to identify ourselves is wrong and bad but it’s also wrong and bad to use the word you like to identify yourself because that’s your word and you don’t think it belongs to us. 

Okay, well then I have some news about the word queer and what you are and aren’t allowed shout about it. Feel however you want about the word, it’s loaded, but it doesn’t belong to you and it doesn’t belong to the bigots and you and they don’t get to tell us how to use it.

And the absolute audacity to come onto someone’s blog and say ‘well if you didn’t have the EXACT same experience as me and homophobia your life must be perfect and wonderful and completely devoid of all bigotry...except for me, right now!’

The mental gymnastics it takes to justify that. ‘well if this person didn’t face homophobia before now, LET ME DO IT!’ Congratulations, bucko, you’re a moron.

[wonderbitchin]

gay has been used as a slur

so has lesbian

and trans

how quickly we forget the days of people, especially teens, using gay as colloquial shorthand for lame or cringe. lesbian was what you called any girl that didnt fit the preconceived binary and trans was any person who had anything to their appearance that was either androgynous or for the opposite gender

by this logic, we should all collectively stop using these terms. no more gay, lesbian or trans, it is now a slur and only a slur. it doesnt matter that it has pre existing history and people co opted it, its a slur now

[sword-and-nightingale]

Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup

[brandneweyescd]

rb to tell ur mutuals ur fond of them

[bts-twts]

201204 Jin’s birthday letter to ARMY regarding “Abyss”

안녕하세요 진입니다.

얼마 전, 기자 회견을 하면서 이런 얘기를 한적이 있어요 “나는 내 슬픈 감정을 팬분들과 공유하고 싶지 않다. 좋은 것만 보여드리고 싶기 때문이다. 하지만 그게 음악이라면 얘기는 다르다. 평소 나의 행동으로는 공유하고 싶지 않지만 음악으로서는 보여드려도 괜찮을 것 같다.”

사실은 최근에 크게 번아웃이 왔는데 저 자신에 대한 많은 생각이 들어서 그랬던 것 같아요.빌보드 핫 100 1위를 하고 많은 분들께 축하인사를 받았는데 내가 이런걸 받아도 될까.. 사실 나보다 음악을 더 많이 사랑하고 더 잘하는 분들도 많은데 내가 이런 기쁨과 축하를 받아도 괜찮을까..하는 생각이었고 더 깊이 들어가다보니 마음이 힘들어 다 내려놓고 싶었던 것 같아요. 이 일로 상담도 받으며 하루하루 지내다가 방피디님과 얘기를 해봤는데 지금 이 감정을 노래로 써보면 어떻겠냐고 하시더라고요. 잘 만들 자신도 없고 결과물이 좋지 않으면 어쩌나, 나는 이미 그러면 안되는 위치에 와버렸는데.. 라고 대답을 하니 방피디님은 그런 건 중요하지 않다. 하지만 하게 된다면 너는 분명 잘 할거다 너에게 맞는 사람을 찾아봐주겠다고 하셨어요. 그렇게 작곡가 계범주형님을 만나게 되었고 지금 제 감정과 많은것들에 대해 얘기를 나눴습니다. 밝고 긍정적인 분이시더라고요. 형님은 저를 도와주고싶다고 하셨고 ‘많은 불안들에 대해 써보자~ 잘 안되면 또 새로 해보면 된다'는 긍정의 힘으로 절 다시 밝게 해줬어요.

그렇게 여러 얘기를 나눠보고 지금 저의 감정을 그대로 현장에서 트랙으로 만들어줬고 이걸로 해보고 싶은 얘기를 써내려가니 Abyss가 완성 됐습니다. 계범주 형님에게 다시 한번 고맙다고 얘기하고 싶어요. 생일에는 맞지않는 좀 우울한 노래지만 그래도 생일이 아니면 애매할 거 같아 Abyss를 공개하게 되었네요.

아미들, 부족하더라도 잘 들어주세요.

ps. 후렴구 가사 써준 우리 리더님 감사합니다.

Hello, this is Jin. I once said this not too long ago during a press conference, “I don’t want to share my sad emotions with my fans. That’s because I want to show them only good things. But that changes when it comes to music. I don’t want to show my sad emotions [to fans] with my everyday words and actions but I think it’ll be okay for me to show them through music.”

Honestly, I’ve felt really burned out recently and I think I said [what I said at the press conference] because the burnout had me feeling a lot of things about myself. We got #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and we received congratulations from so many people but I thought “is it okay for me to receive those congratulations?..” To be honest, there are other people who love music even more than I do and are better at it than I am. Would it be okay for me to receive this happiness and praise/congratulations?..as I fell deeper into these thoughts, my heart grew heavier and, mentally, it got so hard for me that I think I wanted to just lay everything down. As a result of this issue, I spent my every day getting counseled on it (therapy) and ended up speaking to Bang PD-nim about it, and he suggested “why don’t you try writing these feelings out in a song?” When I replied by saying “I don’t have the confidence to make it well and if it doesn’t bear good results, I’m already in a position where that isn’t acceptable,” Bang PD-nim said “those things aren’t important. But if you choose to do this, I know you will do well. I will find someone for you who is compatible with you.” And that is how I came to meet producer hyungnim, Kye Bum Joo (aka Bumzu) and spoke a lot with him about what I had been feeling.

It turns out [Kye Bum Joo] is a very bright and optimistic person. Hyungnim said he wanted to help me and said “let’s write about the many insecurities/worries/anxieties you are feeling~ if it doesn’t go well we can just start from scratch again” and brightened me up with the strength of optimism.

And after those conversations, he wrote all of my feelings into a track for me right there on the spot, and as I wrote out the various stories I wanted to tell with this song, “Abyss” was completed. Once again, I want to thank Kye Bum Joo hyungnim.

Even though it’s a bit of a depressing song that doesn’t quite go well with a birthday, I thought it would be hard to find the right timing if I didn’t post on my birthday so I’ve ended up releasing “Abyss” [today].

ARMYs, though it may be lacking, please listen to it well.

ps. to our leader-nim who wrote the chorus, thank you.

Trans cr: Amy @ bts-twts © Please credit when taking out

[taechnological]

i think everyone deserves to see this video of seokjin shushing namjoon and namjoon immediately shutting his trap which lives in my mind rent free ever since i first saw it