Ramblings of a 30 something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

Open 21.2

We’re on the eve on finding out about 21.3 – the final test! (Dum dum dum…) so I thought I best get my ass into gear and write about 21.2!

21.2 happened to be a repeat workout from the 2017 open. It consisted of two movements (again… I’m seeing a trend?) Alternating dumbbell snatches and a burpee over box jump. What are those delightful movements, you might ask? Well, your trusty Crossfit interpreter is here to help you decipher the weird world of Crossfit lingo. Hint: A dumbbell snatch does not involve grabbing the dumbbell from some unsuspecting victim. (Although if you underestimate these exercises then you will be the unsuspecting victim!). A dumbbell snatch involves picking up a dumbbell and ‘flinging’ it above your head to a ‘lock out’ position, then bringing it back to the ground (don’t forget the switching hands mid-air!) and repeating the process. Sounds simple yes? (Haha) Until I realised the weight was 15 kgs. The second movement, A burpee over box jump, is exactly what is sounds like – a burpee followed by a box jump. A burpee, does not involve burping or peeing (although maybe a little bit after a few repetitions!) but is actually an exercise invented by Royal Huddleston Burpee over 90 years ago. It involves a push up and then jumping to standing position. (I’m not sure why we have a second movement, this open, that involves us being face down on the floor – perhaps to connect us to the Earth? to ground us? Remind us that everybody is equal when lying prostrate on the ground? Who knows!) Then the box jump bit is just that – jumping over a box. Sigh. Not really my forte (although If I’m being honest there isn’t really an exercise I’d describe as my forte!) I’m not a jumper. My spirit animal is definitely not a springbok or a kangaroo. I’m never going to be a parkour participant. (Well not willingly – If, for some obscure reason, I find myself on the edge of a tall building being chased by a pack of rabid wolves I might be tempted to give it a go.) There’s a fair amount of me to overcome the force of gravity and honestly, light and nimble have never been adjectives anyone has used to describe me.

The breakdown (of the workout, not me!) was as follows: 5 rounds. Round 1: 10 dumbbell snatches, 15 burpees. Round 2: 20 dumbbell snatches, 15 burpees etc up to round 5: 50 dumbbell snatches and 15 burpees all within 20 minutes. Friday dawned and it was hot to say the least. I decided to do the Rx workout as opposed to the scaled option I did last week because despite it needing much moaning, groaning and a bit of lady-like grunting, I can actually snatch 15kgs. (Fun fact: I have no idea why the term Rx refers to - perhaps it stands for ‘Really Extra’? Which you have to be to do some of these workouts!) I started the workout with much vigor and about 3 snatches in a realised how heavy 15kgs was and began to regret my gung-ho decision to do Rx. (The 10kgs of the scaled version was looking mightily appealing!) I feel I should add that I only recently became somewhat comfortable with box jumps. Up until the end of last year I was jumping onto a few weight plates as I was somewhat dubious of the boxes’ ability to handle me hefting all my weight onto it with great force and very dubious of my ability to actually get up onto said box. (So far it has managed to hold up and I’ve managed to get up onto it!) I’m not going to lie; this was a pretty tough workout. Not only was the weight heavy (to think just 18 months ago I was carrying that around with me on a daily basis!) but it was also cardio.

Despite the heat I managed to almost finish round 4 on Friday. Well done to all those who actually did finish the entire workout!  I redid the workout on Monday and managed to improve by 13 reps. (I realised afterwards that my goal of finishing on Monday was a tad unrealistic – how exactly was I going to fit another round in?!) The truth of it is that I am just not fit enough to finish that work out. I just didn’t have anymore gas in the tank. And that’s ok! I’ve worked hard over the last few months and really improved my overall fitness levels but I’m just not there yet. I think that another important lesson the Crossfit teaches one – you’re never done. There will always be another level of fitness to reach, another goal to strive for and that’s ok. Health, wellness and fitness are not boxes to tick off but rather a way of life. Caring about your well being is not a once off thing but a life time commitment. I may not have finished the work out (well, not this time!) but I tried, I showed up and gave my all. At the end of the day that’s all anyone can really do.

Much Love

A 30 something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

Open 21.1

So, I’ve recently developed, perhaps not an addiction but a dedication? Some might call it a small obsession? a commitment? Madness? Whatever description you choose, I’ve have been sucked into the Crossfit Lifestyle, fat rolls and all. Crossfit has become more than a habit. More than just a little bit of light exercise. (Who am I kidding?! No Crossfit workout could EVER be described as just a little bit of light exercise!) It has become an important part of my life and my day just feels weird without it. I never ever dreamed that I would come to feel this way about exercise. Sometimes I’ve enjoyed it but honestly more often I’ve gone out of some weird obligation to my body and because ‘it’s good for me’ or I need to see my workout buddies, never because I’ve enjoyed pushing my body to its limits before! This is a first for me. And this obsession has just peaked at the same time the Crossfit Open is taking place.

What is the Crossfit Open you might ask? Well, it’s not just an open invitation for people to moan relentlessly about how cruel and masochistic the organisers of Crossfit can be, (whilst still paying to compete and pushing their bodies to new limits, all the while bitterly regretting their life choices.) No, honestly, it is that but it’s also more. Simply put it’s an annual event that takes place across the globe. Hundreds of thousands of people from different countries, of different ages and fitness levels and with different abilities partake in the world’s largest participatory sporting event.  The Open takes place over 3 weeks with one workout per week. You have a certain amount of time to complete the workout and log your scores. You can then see where you fall within your box, (Yes, I’ve become one of those people who uses synonyms’ such box aka Crossfit – gym.) within your country, division and the world. (Yay! I’m not currently last in any of the above.) But it’s not just about logging scores (although I have developed a slightly competitive streek, well it’s all relative, this streek extends to ensuring I remain out of last position!) It’s also about being part of a community, challenging myself and seeing what my body is capable of. (Which is a whole lot more than last year this time!)

There is a build up to the releasing of each workout (which happens around 5am South African time on a Friday.) ‘Clues’ are released before hand and there’s general speculation as to what the workout will contain, but basically that’s a giant waste of time because no one could ever guess what awaits us. The first work out was released to much mumbling and under the breath swearing. A simple, two movement workout containing the nemesis of many a Crossfit Enthusiast – The double under. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular movement it’s like skipping, except, extra. The rope has to pass under your feet TWICE for every jump. Yup that’s correct. Twice. Even after about a year of practicing I have yet to string more than two double-unders together. (I promise I have the rope welts to prove I’ve been practicing!) The second movement was a new and unusual form of testing – the wall-walk. Huh? Basically, you lie flat on your stomach, feet touching the wall and then walk your feet up the wall until your body is flush with the wall, nose touching. Easy right?! Hmmm. So that wasn’t going to happen. Luckily, the open really is designed for everyone. There are easier divisions as well as an equipment free option for those stuck in severe lockdown or unable to get to gym. I opted for the scale division (wall stands and normal skips.) Not only were the movements hard but the numbers too! A total of 55 wall walks (or stands) and 550 double-unders (or skips) all to be completed in 15min.

I tried the workout for the first time on Friday afternoon. Luckily, I train at an awesome box and they really went out of their way to make it as fun as possible. I didn’t expect to be but I was slightly nervous before trying the workout. Luckily my ‘plus one’ was next to me on the left (although honestly 6 wall-walks in and I barely noticed!), a super supportive fellow ‘victim’ on the right and a really encouraging judge to help monitor my reps and keep me going. This is one of the best things about Crossfit – the community, the support and the comradery. It just wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t compare workouts or how stiff out shoulders were or share techniques. (Plus a little group groaning helps to ease the aching muscles and for you to realise you’re not alone in this madness.) After what felt like both the shortest and the longest 15 minutes, I got a relatively good score. I left feeling a sense of pride and determination – I was not going to let this one go without a fight. I knew I could rest over the weekend and try again on Monday. (Yes, you can try as many times as you want before the Monday evening. I’m not tooooo obsessed so I only did it twice!)  

I’m pretty proud to say that on my second attempt I finished that work out. I was going to take a photo for proof but after analysing the situation decided that me, upside down, red – face with my pale belly hanging in the air was really not a photo anyone needed. (I’m so pale that I might blind someone. A former colleague once mistook my pale abdomen for a vest. Yes, you read correctly! I quote “So Cait, do you always wear a vest under your work shirt?” Ah no. That’s just how semi-translucent I am.)

I may not be the fastest, I may not be the strongest or the most agile but I gave it a go. I didn’t do the full version but I did what was a challenge for me and that the whole point. For the majority of participants, it’s not about being the best, it’s not about winning, it’s about doing their best, about beating their score and their own limitations. I did something I never would have thought possible a few years ago. I pushed my body harder than I knew I could and had an awesome time in the process.

To those of you doing the Open – Good luck. We survived the first one! (And await the next workout with baited breath.) To those of you looking for a little bit of motivation to get your ass off the couch – hopefully this is it. If a 30 something chubby girl can do it so can you!

[thecrazycaity]

Day 7(?) (Includes a delicious rusk recipe!)

Lockdown - Day 6?7?

We are 7 days into lockdown (I think.) Honestly the days are passing in somewhat of a blur. I’d assumed that the days would be moving at a glacial pace but contrary to my expectation they seem to be moving rather fast. I’m fortunate enough to have a multitude of hobbies (By this, read – I have a large array of half complete craft projects around my house.) So my problem has not been so much “what to do” but “what to do first”.  Mostly ‘first’ involves food and if lock down has proved anything its how much I love food. Eating it, cooking it, watching it on tv – food is one of my favourite things. Whenever I cook or bake something, I want it to be delicious. I love seeing people sit around my table being well fed. Due to our current situation Bear is now the “people” being well fed. Part of ensuring someone is well fed is snacks or as BBC’S Big Family Cooking Showdown says “nibbles”. One of my all-time favourite snacks are Rusks. My mom has been making these rusks since I can remember and these are honestly the best rusks I’ve ever eaten. The great thing about rusks (other than their taste!) is that they can keep for a few weeks if properly stored. They are also filling, not too sweet and these specific rusks are just delicious. So, I decided to share the recipe below.

Happy Baking!

A 30 Something Chubby Girl

PS: I replaced the flour with a mixture of gluten free flour and coconut flour and it seemed to work too. (Unfortunately, I didn’t have gluten free oats and or bran flakes but I’m sure they would work just as well)

 Linda (My mom)’s Rusks

 Ingredients

1kg Self Raising Flour

2 cups oats

2 cups brown sugar

2 cups Albran Flakes

2 cups raisins

2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

500g butter or margarine

500ml buttermilk

2 eggs

 Method      

1.       Preheat the oven to 180ᵒC. Line two bread/loaf tins.

2.       In a big bowl combine the dry ingredients except the raisins. (I like to leave the raisins until the end so that the flour doesn’t stick to them.)

3.       In a separate bowl beat melted butter, buttermilk and eggs together.

4.       Add the butter mixture to the dry ingredients and mix until well combined. (Make sure there is no flour hiding at the bottom of the bowl.)

5.       Add the raisins.

6.       Spoon the mixture into the two loaf tins and gently flatten with the back of a spoon to get a nice even top.

7.       Bake for 1 hour.

8.       Let cool.

9.       Once the loafs (we call it ‘nat biskuit’ at this point) have cooled you can cut them into rusks (whatever shape and size you want – usually I cut thick slices and then in thirds but you can decide whatever works best.)

10.   Place the pieces onto a baking try. And dry over night at a very low heat (as low as your oven will go while still being on. The idea is to dry them out not cook them again.)

Enjoy your delicious rusks!

[thecrazycaity]

Lockdown Day 3

So, we’ve made it through 3 days. And honestly, they have been 3 pretty good days thus far. Today was a pretty normal Sunday. There was a roast chicken, time in the garden and an afternoon nap. After yesterday’s vigorous exercise (well perhaps not so vigorous but at least we tried) we decided we deserved a rest day. My legs are definitely on board with that! (And it’s a Sunday, after all.)

There are many things that this virus has taught me thus far. One is that I have an OCD, germophobe bubbling underneath the surface. (Yes! Who knew?!) The more I think about it the more paranoid I become. I went to go throw the rubbish away and leaving my little bubble of safety brought on a mild bout of panic. Even though Bear and I barely touched the surface of the big black bin I couldn’t help but cringe when we did. After gingerly lifting the lid with two pinched fingers and depositing the bag swiftly inside I almost ran to go wash and sanitize my hands. I’m not sure how a trip to get groceries will go (probably quickly!) but that’s a problem for further down the road. We are having a box of fresh veggies delivered to us and I already have an elaborate (probably somewhat excessive!) plan as to how to get them into the house and clean!  

The other thing I have learned, particularly in the last 3 days is that the hard part of this lockdown is going to be not eating all the time. And I mean all. The. Time.  I think perhaps it’s my survival instinct kicking in – must ensure we have enough bodily supplies to last through the hibernation. Thanks body, but I’m fairly certain these thighs hold enough reserves. Nope. Clearly, my body disagrees. I just want to eat all the things. All the time! Just eaten breakfast – not a problem could definitely have a snack. It’s just about to be lunch, the perfect time for a little brunch. After dinner snack? Yes! I can fit some more in. Luckily, I do know myself, so my snack section at home is on the top shelf. (If I can’t see it, I’m less likely to eat it!) I also made sure to not stock up on food I wouldn’t normally eat. Because if it’s in this house it will be eaten. I am an avid baker but thus far I have limited myself to a batch of rusks and an apple crumble. That’s not even a thing a day – I’m not doing too badly. (Yes, I’m trying to convince myself more than you.)

All in all, I think it’s going ok. In fact, I think it’s going fairly well. We still have food supplies (although there’s still time left in the day for me to eat more!) I keep reminding myself that its’ ok to not get it ‘right’. In fact, there is no ‘right’ for this time. This is not something anyone has been through before. (Well certainly not in my lifetime or even my parents’ lifetime.) We are all just ‘winging it’ and hoping for the best. We just have to take every day as it comes. Be kind to ourselves and to those around us. So, if I want that little midnight snack perhaps it's ok?

Yours with love (and a snack)

A 30 Something Chubby girl  

[thecrazycaity]

Lockdown - Day 2

Lockdown Day 2

I’m happy to report that today was, in fact, a great day. The best day that I’ve had in ages. It dawned on me that we have done all this prepping and worrying and now, we are all in our little bubbles and there is literally nothing we can do, except stay put and hope for the best. Well I can do that. (Or at least try my darndest.)  

I’m pretty pleased with how I managed to follow the “rules for lockdown” set yesterday.  Bear and I did a workout! (Whoop whoop). This working out at home business definitely has its challenges. (My poor grass! Not to mention my ‘gym buddies’ – I know that we are not alone in having enthusiastic pet participation!) But I did enjoy being able to roll out of bed and be at gym. Although we only managed the set workout part of the way (I’m blaming my sinus thing), it’s a start.  

I also baked (gluten free apple crumble and rusks – recipes in an upcoming post.), played piano, sorted out some draws, spoke to my mom and sat in the garden. Altogether not a bad day! Not having every moment of my day planned, is definitely going to take a bit of getting used to – I like to plan. Mostly my life is mapped out weeks in advance (perhaps not every detail but the general idea) but this whole situation has reminded me that sometimes, no matter how well you plan, those plans go askew and you just have to adapt.

And that’s all for Day 2.

Hope you are all staying safe.

Much Love

A 30 something chubby girl  

[thecrazycaity]

Lockdown Day 1

Day 1 – Lockdown

So here we are at the end of Day 1. Its been a strange day, honestly, it’s been a strange week. When I, along with 50 million (Literally, 50 million) other South Africans, was told we would be in lockdown, it felt like something out of a teen post-apocalyptic novel, not my actual life. I’ve been socially distancing for a while now but total lockdown was not really on my radar. It almost seemed like something in the distant future, not something that was actually going to happen. But here we sit. Exactly here. For the next 21 (or so) days. I’m planning (not promising!) to use this ‘downtime’ to do all the things I’ve put off. Those things that I never have time for, those things for me. One such thing I have decided (along with every other semi-dedicated, fallen along the wayside, “too busy” writer) to do, is to spend some of this downtime writing. So, I thought I’d ease into it with a blog post.  

These last few days have been surreal. It’s as though we’ve been living in a movie (not the Netflix recommended cute, quirky rom-com but rather something unnecessarily tense, like an action thriller or some such other genre I tend to avoid.) It’s scary and unbelievable at the same time. And just really weird. I braved the shops to get groceries and medication (end of the month regular rations). I was armed with my sanitizing spray ready to spray anyone or anything that came within a 1m radius of me. All the shops adhered to the limit and no one physically touched me but the fear did. The worry did. The anxiety did. If I’m honest (which I try to be) I have been bordering on a tearful mess the entire week. (Thanks to Bear for dealing with the tears that did come. In my life generally, I try to focus on the positive things in life, to always see the brighter side but I must admit it’s been more difficult this week than it has been in a while.)  But some other, hopeful things touched me too (literally not figuratively!) – the guy and his son dropping off large bags of dog food at the SPCA. Everyone telling each other to ‘Stay Safe’. The homeless talk guy with bags of food. (This also led to me being a somewhat of a mess, I’m just a crier.) Throughout this week I have learned a whole array of different things one of which is how blessed I really am. Blessed in so many different ways. Family, friends, love, an amazing job, a beautiful house. My list is endless.

I’ve decided to try and look at this time in a positive light. To know that I am not alone. We are all in this together just trying to make it through in our own ways. Many people are out there, on the front line, working to ensure that we are all ok during this time. I’m grateful. I get to stay safe with Bear and my pets and live in my little bubble for a while.  

In order to keep my sanity (the small part I do have left!) and the bubble intact, I have decided to implement a few ‘rules for downtime’. (Who knows how many rules I will adhere to but here’s to trying!)

1.       Limit my social media – I know that I will go mad if I spend all my time pouring over statistics and watching all the panic-inducing videos and generally getting caught up in the mayhem. I can’t let it all in. My brain will explode.  

 2.       I’m going to try and do some sort of exercise every day (except for this day *insert facepalm*. My sinuses are acting up and I want to get better first – hopefully by Monday. Yes, I’ve googled “Are blocked sinus’ a symptom of …” about 25 times, they aren’t.)  

3.       Get up, shower and put ‘non-pjs’ on. I think the transition into ‘day clothes’ is more conducive to actually getting things done.  

  4.       Try not to eat all my rations in one day. (This one may be the hardest yet. All I want to do is ‘snack’. This entire week, every second thought is “hmmm, maybe I’m hungry”)

5.       Do something creative every day. Some of the most creative inventions ever, whether art, science or otherwise. have come from the most unlikely times and places. Times like now and places like here.

6.       Meditate

7.       Just chill. Take this time to breathe. To slow down. To appreciate my life.

Well, those are some of the things I’d like to accomplish daily during this time, I can’t say I’ll succeed but here’s to trying. It’s all any of us can do really. Today I managed to do all those things (well, bar the exercise bit and also there’s a minor dent in the snack ration.) I will be sure to let you know how day 2 pans out.

Stay safe my friends.

Yours from lockdown

A 30 something Chubby Girl

ps. I know this post might be a bit erratic but that’s how I feel at the moment. Part sad. part happy. part grateful. part worried. part excited. But what I have realized that there is no right way to feel during all this craziness. 

[thecrazycaity]

An open letter to Levi’s Jeans

Dear Levi’s

I have come to the conclusion that you are not unlike a bad boyfriend. Why the name calling? Why the comparison. Yes, I’m just as disappointed as you are. Allow me to explain.

Last year (Septemberish I believe.) I walked past one of your stores and to my absolute delight there was a sale on. (Depending on the number of items you purchased you got a certain amount off.) At this stage, it looked promising. (Not unlike that boyfriend I mentioned earlier.) I walked into the store and was greeted by the most charming sale assistant ever. (I should have known – bad boyfriends are usually deceptively charming too!). The assistant knew exactly what would look good and what size I was and he was utterly fantastic at his job. The jeans were amazing – they looked great and hugged my butt in just the right way. (Again – just like a good boyfriend makes you look good.) I was sold by ideas of grandeur and I loved my jeans. (Just like that boyfriend.) I left the store with 2 pairs and many dreams.

Imagine my delight, when where ever I went people complimented me on my jeans. “Oooh’s” and “Aaaah’s” and “You are so lucky! Where did you get them?” followed me everywhere. (I will call this the ‘honeymoon phase’) So naturally, I ditched all my other jeans and have been wearing these ones. My confidence lifted by the knowledge that these jeans had me – they were my support and made me feel invincible. (Again just like a bad boyfriend – all promises in the beginning.)  Imagine my dismay when not even a year later these jeans started to let me down. (Bad boyfriend on the horizon.) How? You might ask. In the same way that many a pair of pants have let me down – holes have begun to show in the inner thigh region. I can’t lie I’m seriously dissatisfied. (Again, the bad boyfriend parallels are uncanny!)

I thought you were different, Levi’s Jeans. I thought you understood that the ‘thigh gap’ is just an illusion. That real women have curves and their thighs touch. Looking around I’m going to be generous, and say perhaps 10% of the population as a ‘thigh gap’. (To clarify: A thigh gap is when a person’s thigh’s do not touch.) While the rest of us definitely do not have said gap. That’s right. Our thighs touch and shock! Horror! They rub against each other when we walk! Most of us feel self-conscious enough about our lack of thigh gap. We certainly don’t need our favourite pair of jeans reminding us about that fact. Honestly, it’s time that there was a change. We can no longer be held prisoner by false promises!

So here I sit (exactly as I would sit in a bad relationship!) with disappointment in my gut. Sigh. I had such dreams and hopes about the longevity of our relationship. I believed in you Levi’s Jeans. I believed that you would have my back (and my butt!) and continue to support me but alas you didn’t even make it to the 1-year anniversary mark.

Sigh.

Yours with sadness

A 30 – something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

The Wagon

So confession time:

I fell off the wagon. Hard. Last week was the beginning of 40 days (for those who are doing bootcamp.) I dedicated an entire post to ‘now is the time’ and ‘set goals’ and ‘we are in this together’. I committed to writing a post every day! Then I promptly disappeared. (I mean, today is day 8!)

Oops. Sorry about that.

Look it was my brother’s wedding and setting exams and and and. But it happens to the best of us. Some times we have the best intentions and then life happens. We get sick (hopefully a whole bunch of bootcampers are going to avoid this fate!) Work suddenly demands extra time. Children need ferrying up and down. That chocolate looks good or a ton of other reasons. (Often extremely valid reasons – well mostly – birthday cake IS a valid reason!)

But you know what? It’s ok! Sometimes life happens. Sometimes, well mostly, things don’t go quite according to our plan. Little ‘setbacks’ or obstacles get in the way of our carefully crafted goals. Unforeseen circumstances threaten to drag us off the wagon. But the trick is to get back on. Often, we think (well, I certainly do!) that I’ve fallen off so what’s the point? I didn’t make it, so no point in trying anymore. (This may have happened to me a few times. Read MANY times. I’ve definitely one to think, I’ve eaten an Easter Egg I may as well eat the whole box and perhaps another along the way.) I know all about falling off the wagon but the thing is, that the wagon is going somewhere. While you are on the wagon you are moving forward. You are heading towards a destination or goal. So sometimes you just have to heave yourself back on.

Another reason many of us fail to stay on the wagon is that it’s too full. We pile goal after goal after goal on their and wonder why we don’t get very far. Now I’m not saying don’t have different goals. In fact, goals and dreams and aspirations are extremely important. I’m just saying that sometimes its easier to stay on track one part at a time. So often we think that if we have to do it all at once: exercise every day, cut out sugar and bread and chocolate and everything that tastes good, while stopping smoking and quitting swearing and trying to stop watching so much tv all the while trying to ensure that you succeed at work while dedicating more time to self-care etc, etc (I think you get the gist.) It’s no wonder that we fall off the wagon and often lose sight of our paths.  I’m suggesting that we pick one thing at a time and focus on that until it becomes a habit. Pick something and try it out for a week. See how a small change gives you the motivation to make another small change and then another. Slow gradual change, is also change, soon enough all those small little changes add up to monumental change.

So, this is me, pulling myself back on to the wagon. Not using falling off, as an excuse, to not try again.

How was every mountain ever climbed? One step at a time.

Much love

A 30 something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

The Challange: Day 1

Today is the start of the ABC (Adventure Boot Camp) 40 days, an annual challenge where brave ladies commit to 40 days of exercise. (That’s every weekday for 8 weeks!) Despite the rain, cold, dark, flu, children, work and strew of other things women concur on a daily basis!

I must admit I have FOMO (Fear of Missing out.) Serious FOMO, (although not FOMO of getting up at the crack of dawn, in the cold and the dark!) I fear the missing out of seeing the same faces for the next two months. The comradery that comes with a shared goal. I fear missing the smiles and friendship that inevitably blooms as a result of 40 days! I know that 40 days is hard, I know that it takes commitment and dedication and I, for a few reasons, am not partaking this year but I am kinda sad that I’m missing this year. (I completed the last 2 years.)

So instead of wallowing in my FOMO, I have decided to do my own 40 days. It has been a crazy year, filled with some awesome adventures, including getting my first tattoo (ouch!), doing a life coaching course (it’s been great thus far) and trying the mooncup (this warrants an explanation, but in a different post!) As I have been so busy living these adventures, I have not been very good at sharing, said adventures. So, my 40 days is going to be to post something, every day. Hopefully having typed this and set out my intentions I will be able to follow through! Hopefully, I can keep myself motivated and perhaps some of you too and your comments and support keep me motivated!

We often leave new goals and adventures for a specific time. (New Years, Monday, the beginning of the month, next week, next month, when this work project is finished, after this weekend, basically any time other than right now!) But I’m changing that and so can you. Sometimes it just needs to be a random day in the middle of May that you commit to your goal. So today is that day. My suggestion is that you pick something and join the 40-day challenge. Something. Anything. Been meaning to cut out sugar? Go for a walk? Meditate? Be nicer to yourself? Stop smoking? Read more? Watch less tv? Learn a new skill? Whatever your personal ‘thing’ is, today is the day. This is the sign.

All my love

A 30 Something Chubby Girl

[thecrazycaity]

Voting Day’s Eve

I’m sitting here, in front of my computer, on the eve of the 6th Democratic Election feeling like many South African’s (I assume): Confused. And slightly frustrated. (Because none of the political parties fills me with anything other than mild irritation and nothing near confidence.)  And also slightly happy (it’s a public holiday tomorrow!) but mostly confused.

Now I know that many South African’s are dedicated party supporters. They go to the rally’s, they hang the posters, the phone you incessantly, nosily prying into your voting (Not that I’m naming any names but I’m sure you can DAduce who I’m referring to.) And are basically Voter’s with a capital V! They have, in fact, already voted because they have volunteered to work on voting day.  But most of us are just your regular South Africans. We just want to be able to go about our business and get where we are going without being swallowed by a pothole or run over by a homicidal taxi driver.

So who do we vote for? (I’m not telling and I don’t want to know – it’s none of my business!) Why do we vote for them? Or even more importantly why do we vote at ALL?! Well, basically I’m writing this post to encourage and remind myself as much as anyone. I can’t help clarify, The Who, but hopefully, I can help with, The Why? Here are just a few of the reason’s I have heard recently.

Many people vote because “If you don’t vote, you can’t complain.” This is a reason I understand (I myself used to use this as motivation.) But honestly, I’m not so big on complaining at the moment so that’s not a motivating factor for me, right now.

Other people vote because they weren’t always allowed to. (Well as a 30 something I’ve always had the choice.) So this isn’t applicable either.

Some vote because “it’s the right thing to do.” Which is different way of saying “I don’t know – peer pressure?”

None of these reasons seems to sit quite right with me. None of them fit. And I suppose that’s the key. There doesn’t have to be just one reason. Just like we are the only country to have 48 political parties contesting the elections, we can also have a myriad of reasons why we vote. Here are a few a have figured out after some (minor) soul searching.

1.       We deserve better. As a country, we deserve better. (I could throw in a whole bunch of depressing statistic but I think most of you get it.) We. Deserve. Better.

2.       “It’s just one vote,” said 5 Million People. One step at a time. That’s how you solve any problem or how any mountain has ever been climbed. (Or how you eat any large slice of cake!)

3.       This country is beautiful. We have so much potential. This vibrant, diverse, unique, tough, crazy, weird country of ours is just starting to show what it has to offer. We just need proper leadership to guide this country to fulfil that potential.

4.       Honestly, I love the queue. (Well for about 30 min!) Not the queuing part, per se, but the people making up the queue. Living in a city, it is rare to meet your neighbours or anyone living near you. I love to see how different people are. I love to be surprised by the diversity within every neighbourhood that I’ve lived (and voted in). I cannot think of much that is blander, than living in a country where everyone looks the same!

5.       I can. Many people live in countries where they are unable to vote. Where they are unable to have any say in the laws that directly affect them.

These are just a few of the reason’s I came up with. I’m sure I could figure out more but this is not a post I can procrastinate about (Unless it’s 5 years’ worth of procrastinating!)

I’m not telling you who to vote for, in fact, I’m not telling you anything. I’m just suggesting reasons as to why you should vote. Perhaps my favourite reason:

6.       There’s something awesome about the little black mark. Something extremely unifying. Days or even weeks after you have voted you can see a waiter in a restaurant or cashier or any random stranger and you can notice each other’s marks. You won’t have to say anything, you will both, inherently know, that the other cared. Cared enough about the future of this country, cared enough about their fellow South African’s future, cared enough about their own future to get up off the couch and choose.

I still don’t know who I’m going to choose (This is not an invitation to try and convince me!) I will probably only know, once I’ve made that little mark. (Yes, with pen and also once I’ve checked it’s stamped on the back – thank you panic-inducing viral message!) All I know is that I get to choose. So I will.

Yours

A 30 something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

New Year

New year, new me (and all the other lies I tell myself.)

So it’s a new year! Whoo hoo. We made it.  (Some of us slightly worse for the wear than others!). It’s clearly NOT a new me as it’s already over 2 weeks in and I’m only getting to writing this now.

New Years Eve. Ah the build-up, the excitement, the planning and more often than not – the slight disappointment as very few hyped up, over planned events ever turn out quite how one hoped. When you are younger, say 8 or 9, New Year’s Eve is exciting. You can stay up late without any consequences! No bedtime! Eat what you want! It’s super exciting, the count down, the sugar rush and the inevitable post-midnight crash. As a teenager (or a particularly nerdy one like me) it involved a riveting evening at home (including lamenting the fact that obviously everyone else was out having fun and kissing cute boys and you are stuck being lame and ‘uncool’ – although I’m not sure how this was different from any other evening of my teenage years. My early 20’s New Years Eve got a bit more exciting – I actually did go out (without a book!) and I actually did have some ‘party new years’ which often involved far too much tequila, midnight swims and beach bonfires. (As well the occasional cute boy.) Although this meant that I started out the New Year a little worse for the wear, never taking of my sunglasses and with only one resolution – no more shots – which needless to say was short lived. More recently I’ve gone back to the new years of my childhood. Staying home, perhaps evening going to bed before the strike of midnight (shock! Horror!) and this year I even progressed further along my transformation into “a granny” and sat on the patio with a cup of coffee, watching the stars.  (Also included was a fresh, early morning walk to start the year on the right foot.)

The countdown to the New Year has always been weird for me. In my experience it goes one of two ways either someone is consistently checking the time from about 23:35. (This year was my Dad and I quote: “This is torture, I checked my watch ages ago and only 5 minutes have passed.) After which there is the count down, hugs and then off to sleep. (Thank God! As it was touch and go whether we would make it to midnight there!) Or in some noisy, crazy place where one is just as likely to count down 5 minutes after the stroke of midnight as on time, which no one really cares about as long as the count down is loud and filled with cheer (and usually spilt beer.)  

The idea of a New Year has always been a strange one to me. We use the idea as an excuse to do those things we’ve been meaning to do the entire previous year. It’s this huge milestone, the beginning of new dreams and plans. We make promises to ourselves that we know we won’t keep, we set almost unachievable goals (I’m looking at you bullet journal – a topic for a different post.) and we generally set ourselves up for failure and disappointment when we can’t lose 10kgs in 2 months. So I’ve decided this year will be different. (The irony is not lost on me.) This is the year of adventures. Saying Yes to new and exciting experiences. It’s the year of trying my best but not being mad at myself if it doesn’t work out how I planned (most things don’t anyway.) It’s also the year of not waiting. Want to start exercising – today is the day. Want to catch up with friends – now is the time to message. Want to meditate more – now is a perfect time give it a go. No more waiting for random milestone and dates that I have assigned myself. I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of saying “I will start that diet on Monday.”, “I’m going to start self- care at the end of the month”, “That awesome project or idea can wait a bit.”, “I don’t have any money too… (*insert awesome life experience here*) Now is the time. We all deserve the now. Every single one of us is worthy. Worthy of taking the time to look after ourselves and to give it a go. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month or later. Now. Which is why I sat down and wrote this post.

I wish you all the love, excitement and adventure you deserve because you are beautiful and worthy.

A 30 something chubby girl  

[thecrazycaity]

We went out out

Hello there

I have decided that I’m going to branch out a bit and not limit myself to only exercise related blog posts. As exercising in this heat could cause me to be institutionalized as “A suicide risk.” So the next craziest thing we (We being Me and my ever patient plus one, who we can refer to as, Bear, from here on) decided to do, was go out. On a Friday. As in out out. (I only recently realised that our ”Going Out” mainly involved standing in the garden in our pyjamas admiring the stars/ airplanes/ bats and/or rushing to Spar before it closed to grab ice cream and other health food.

Our “Out out” consisted of a dinner and some live music. (Which is generally what our “In in” consists of – the only change was I didn’t cook the dinner and It wasn’t us providing the music.)  I had seen a few weeks ago that Albert Frost (Arguably one of South Africa’s best blues musicians) was playing at Morrell’s Boutique Venue and ticket prices included a snack platter. Win-win as Morrell’s is literally 5min down the road and who doesn’t love a snack platter?! (The snack platter was more a bread and dip platter but was still super yummy – although I haven’t eaten bread in about a month – so naturally as I got a regular month’s worth of bread in one sitting, I’m still paying the price but at least it was yum! Damn you gluten.)

We came home Friday and got “fancy dressed” – I had a dress on, Bear had jeans. (Oooo look at us!) We paired these with sneakers – because let’s not get too wild! We then order our Uber and proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait until eventually we cancelled and ordered another Uber. (Apparently this is becoming a new technique to get a “cancellation fee” – not to worry I will contact Uber and report back to you all.) Anyway, the awesome driver who arrived more than made up for the other random bloke so we were happily on our first date in months.

For those of you who have never been to Morrell’s, do yourself a favour and make a plan to! We arrived to a beautifully lit archway and a gentleman greeting us, wearing a top hat and tails – he was gracious enough not to stare out our shoes. We were then guided by more, fancy shoe wearing individuals to a beautiful side room, complete with chandeliers and guiled mirrors. Being who we are, we decided that it was a great idea for us to sit at the table right in the front. (I personally like to be able to see everything – including all the guitar pedals, what notes he’s playing and all the under-breath curses!) It was a beautifully intimate evening, complete with cables not working, wobbly candles almost setting fire to the place and delicious G ‘n T’s.

There’s just something magical about a South African summer evening. Slight breeze, everyone is relaxed (Whether it’s because it’s Friday, the end of the year or they are three beers in, is irrelevant.) and good music. What more could one want? We had a lovely evening and like all respectable adults (note: I didn’t use the phrase “old people”, although perhaps its fitting!) we were home by 11, standing in the garden, in our pyjamas staring at the sky and admiring the stars.

Much Love

A 30 Something Chubby Girl

[thecrazycaity]

Something Different Day 1

So this 30 something chubby girl has been fairly quiet on the interwebs since 40 days. I have been going to camp but in between that, work, friends and family it’s been a hectic few weeks, post 40 days. This camp has gone pretty fast but then I suppose the year has too and despite all my best intentions this is my first post since the challenge. 

So I recently watched a video doing the rounds of Facebook about being a clumsy person. (Hopefully this link will take you there if you haven’t seen it! https://www.facebook.com/FirstMediaBlossom/videos/10156745842504586/ ) I never knew I was one! Not until I watched the video and realise that 90% of those things happen to me, on a daily basis. Especially the food on the boobs thing. Round about the same time I had a conversation with some work friends about doing exercise that is interesting, challenging and a little bit different. So naturally these two things lead me to sign up for a dancing class. Not just any class - no, no - one that involves a pole. 

That’s right folks! This person who perpetually trips over her own feet and has the upper body strength of a new born baby decided to try pole dancing. I was excited but wasn’t really sure what to expect. (I have been bootcamping but this was something else entirely.) So first I got a bit lost (I have an excellent sense of direction if I do say so myself) but even my senses were confused as there was not a single sign. Hmm - this lead me to believe one of two things 1. This is dodgy or 2. This is so cool that only secret cool people know about the secret cool location. Eventually I found it. (Spoiler: It was number 2!). 

The studio seemed “studioy” enough except for the poles all around the room. I dubiously checked out the pole I had been assigned - if anyone was going to cause the pole to be pulled out the roof it is yours truely - but it looked sturdy  enough. The people all seemed cool and I went with a friend which helped. (Although she’s a dancer so naturally she looked about 100 times more elegant than I did.)  The instructor was full of energy and friendly, although it did take me a while to get used to her butt cheeks on display. (It was great though because as the class went on I realised that no one felt ashamed or embarrassed about their bodies - we were all just trying to do the moves!) 

The first moves were easy enough, some step work and a swing around the pole, nothing too hectic. The part where I had to hook my knee around the pole and twirl around it was slightly more challenging. (Um there was no “twirling” happening but rather an awkward grunt/shuffle thing.) Nevermind. I made it through 40 days I can do anything! Then onto some floor work. Great! Anything where we start on the floor is excellent because then there’s less chance of me falling on my face. (Although it’s still possible...) So the instructor looked super sexy with her “cat pose” and fluid shoulder dips. I looked like a drunk person dry heaving. None the less we continued to work on the floor with some “leg windmill” type things. Again Instructor looked sexy, I looked like a flaying, upside down tortoise. 

But still I persevered. Onto what can only be described as “clinging on for dear life.” So Instructor shows us how to lift ourselves off the ground, wrap our legs around the pole and squeeze. At this point I assumed she was just showing off a bit of what we could expect within a year of dancing. Um nope. We were up next. I looked at her in disbelief and she gave an encouraging smile. Ok so I’ve been doing push ups and lifting weights. I’ve got this. Um...... Ya. I managed to hoist myself up after about 10 tries. It did NOT look graceful. In fact I probably looked as graceful as a new born elephant trying to stand for the first time. But I was up! Yay. And then she says, lead forward into the pole, squeeze your thighs and let go. Yes! LET GO!. Like some sort of self trust exercise.Despite moaning and serious self doubt I did manage to stay up there, albeit only for a split second or three.

So I survived my first class. It was tons of fun really and not nearly as scary as I thought it would be, despite there being “hot pants” involved. So perhaps I didn’t look sexy or graceful or particularly dainty but I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did something different. I will admit though, that today I have bruises in places I didn’t know it was possible to bruise and am barely able to brush my teeth. But all in all it was a great experience and I’ve signed up for more classes so stay tuned for more exploits. 

WIth Love (And chaffing)

A 30 something chubby girl 

[thecrazycaity]

Day 40!

We made it!!!!! So I’m sitting here a few days after the end of the 40 day challenge and I’m pretty chuffed. (And stuffed - It would appear I have a terrible habit of rewarding myself, on any weight-loss, by eating. Eating everything. Sigh.) But seriously I managed to lose some weight over the challenge. Although to be honest I have SUPER yo-yo weight. I can step on the scale in the morning and weigh “X” and in the evening it can be “X + 3″. 

The thing I’m actually happy about is the cm (18!) that I managed to lose. I mean when you spread that around your body it doesn’t seem so much but hey! Its a start. And I think that’s the whole point. It’s a way to start to change. It’s that motivator to get off your butt and do something. Anything! (Other than shove large quantities of chocolate down one’s throat.) I also managed to improve my run time (by almost 30 seconds!) as well as do more push-ups, sit-ups and squats! (So all the whining, groaning, moaning and general torture seems to have been worth it!) 

I must admit it’s 5 days on and I’m starting to crave some exercise. Yes, you read correctly. Me. (Look I’m craving a light arm session not a hectic cardio workout but it’s a start!) 

I also want to congratulate everyone who completed the challenge. Whether you lost weight or not (remember muscle weighs more that fat - so cut yourself some slack if the scale is not your friend!) The truth is you showed up every day and that is awesome! You made a conscious choice to chose you. And what this does is show everyone around you that you matter. You acknowledge yourself and that you are important. It shows your daughters that they should love their bodies and take care of them. It shows your friends that it’s not so hard to take that first step. It shows your partners that you are learning to love your body and appreciate how sexy you really are. And most importantly you show yourself how powerful you really are. Capable of anything. 

And for those who didn’t manage to complete the challenge for whatever reason (work, family, sickness, holiday!) That’s ok too. The fact that you tried, you started is awesome. Don’t let little things lead to big setbacks. Sign up for the next camp. Chose you. 

Yay we made it! 

Much love a 30 something chubby girl

ps. A big thank you to Tania and all my bootcamp buddies for keeping me motivated! Probably wouldn’t have made it without you! 

Pps. I’ve decided to carry on blogging (not just about 40 days but life in general so please like my page if you are happy to continue reading my ramblings.

[thecrazycaity]

Day 39

I'm not quite sure how we got here to be honest! It seems like a few days ago that I was contemplating whether or not totoactually actually do 40 days and here we are! In some ways it feels like its taken FOREVER to get here and in others not so much, its all mixed up. I suppose that's how I feel about the end of 40 days in general. On the one hand I'm excited. Excited to see my improvements and measurements andthe results of my hard work. On the other hand what if I climb on the scale (oh yes my absolute favourite invention!) And I haven't lost anything?! What if I'm slower than when I started? What if? What if? I'm also confused about how I feel - yay its over! I made it (well almost!). I now have my afternoons back! Also I'm sad. Sad that I'm not going to see my boot camp buddies every day. Sad I'm not going to spew my random thoughts at you anymore. Scared that I now have to find my own motivation to get to camp everyday. (No giant common goal anymore!) Basically as we near the end I'm a whole lot of different things and thats ok. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling confused! (About boot camp.... and sometimes life in general!) But one thing I know is that I'm proud. Proud I started this journey and proud I've made it this far. And you should all be proud too. Proud you took the first step towards a better, healthier, fitter, happier you! You are awesome! Much love A 30 something chubby girl

[thecrazycaity]

Day 35?36? I’ve lost count!

So most of us on the 40 day challenge are between 1 and 2 sessions (Ok - I’m 3!) away from reaching our goal! Yay! Can you believe it?!

While doing doubles every day this week. (Yes you read correctly. Doubles. Every. Day. I’m not as crazy as Sandy who has been doing triples!!!!)  A conversation came up about people who cheat at 40 days. Tania said she trusted me (awe thanks :) ) that I had actually done the catch up sessions at the beach. (She usually checks in but she doesn’t know Nita down in KZN.) I was pretty shocked that people would actually lie about boot camp! Why?! I mean honestly what is the point?!

The truth is that after next week no one is really going to remember or care that I did 40 days. I mean sure, people are proud of me/ in awe of my craziness/ laughing at my ridiculousness etc etc but at the end of it all I’m doing 40 days for me. Yes, we support each other, yes, it’s easier to go through the journey with each other and with shared motivation but ultimately whether I complete 40 days or not is my choice and it is for me. THIS IS NOT SPARTA. There is no major punishment at the end of the challenge - you aren’t going to be banned from ABC for life if you don’t complete 40 days. You aren’t going to have to stand in front of a panel of your peers and explain why it is you didn’t make it. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. So only you can know if you gave it your all and completed the challenge. There is also no major external reward. (That I know of?! Unless I missed something?!) You aren’t going to skip the queue at home affairs because people know you did 40 days. There is no red carpet with obsessed journalists waiting for you outside work. The reward is internal. It is knowing that YOU made it. You had the dedication, the drive and the determination to show up for 40 classes. To show up and give it your all. 

That also brings me to the idea of people showing up every day and cheating within class. Doing 14 reps instead of 18 just to finish first - what is the point? It’s not a race, your trainer doesn’t give you a gold star for finishing first (Maybe gold stars is a good plan for finishing in general - wink wink.) You are there to better yourself. Everyone is different. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Honestly, mostly I finish my reps near the end of the group. I’m there to get stronger and fitter not for everyone else to think I’m Iron Woman. (I mean other than the fact that I am - I mean doubles. Every. day!) But seriously, surely the point is to be the best you? 

Ok, so basically this rant is about self motivation. You are the only person you answer too. The motivation to be a fitter and stronger version of you. Don’t worry about everyone else. You are unique and therefore have a unique journey. Throughout life people’s admiration or ridicule or other thoughts about you will fade. If you live for other people’s beliefs about you, you will be miserable, guaranteed. If you are satisfied within yourself, proud internally of what you have accomplished, if the only person you live to impress is yourself then you will flourish. I’m not saying it isn’t nice. Don’t get me wrong - everyone loves a compliment. Everyone loves other people to notice their hard work and appreciate them but it cannot be your driving force. It’s a bonus to your own internal satisfaction. Its a little boost to your efforts not the reason for your efforts. I’m not saying we don’t need support and friends and family and people who care - of course we do but ultimately you need to be proud of yourself. 

Ok well I hope this makes sense and rings true to some of you.  

Tomorrow is D day!

Much love

A 30 something chubby girl

Ps. Sorry about the looooooong post but it’s not make up for all the ones I missed! 

[thecrazycaity]

Days by the sea

So despite the holidays I managed to fit in 3 ABC sessions by the sea side. The ladies at Salt rock boot camp were so welcoming and super chatty. Super chatty. And the trainer - Nita was really patient and accommodating. It was excellent to add some “Durban spice” to my boot camp journey. It was a welcome change to be one of the fitter ladies at camp. (Ok disclaimer - there were only 2 only people there so not exactly difficult to be near the top - perhaps this is how I should have handled my grade 3 athletics races - been the only participant?!) 

We managed to do a Saturday Morning catch up session on the beach. Oh my greatness. What exactly is it about sand that makes everything so hard. Running along the beach makes it feel as if one is carrying rocks in one’s shoes! And also it gets EVERYWHERE! (Somehow I thought this would not be the case when exercising on the beach. I thought that it was a pleasure reserved only for those lounging about on the beach. Ah hem. Wrong!) 

We did manage to appreciate the beautiful view including a magnificently blue ocean, a pod of 100 plus dolphins and some surfers, which definitely helped to motivate us to push through the pain ;). All in all it was a great experience and I’m glad I managed to fit in a couple of sessions while away, otherwise I would currently be doing triples instead of the doubles I’m busy with. 

We are almost there ladies - I’m sure some of you are on track and hopefully I’m not alone in my catching up!

Good luck for the last few days.

Yours 

30 something chubby girl