I was wondering why life on earth has it ends? There’s a breakup, divorce, end of a contract, dried leaf, blackouts, and the worst thing is death. Some of us didn’t realize the purpose of life and contemplating what kind of gift do we had. Are we delighted in our lifestyle or sometimes how we responding negatively from the pressure of days. These are the forming questions during my pondering moment.
In physical realm, it frequently sees the concrete possessions not the abstract one, we appreciate the shapes, the form of being, standard of living, huge houses, opportunities, success in life, professions, stupendous goals and other fantastic and flabbergasted matter here in this world. Hence, we cannot bring these materials and attainments on spiritual ethereal, where our spirit will dwell in the world of peace, love, joy, and a seamless atmosphere. Why do people fascinate in luxuries, high level of obsession towards material things, titles, and myriad of opulence cravings? Honestly, I’ve been there before when I was in my 20’s (sounds cringing).
I write this blog for us to apprehend what is happening to our surroundings and how it affects to our journey because of this natural consciousness.
At first, when I was at the point of immature belief, I failed so manifold times. By the reason of money, negative behaviour, being pessimistic, having a bleak prognosis to other people, and huge lines of dreams for myself alone, to exemplify, owning a nice car, mansion, hundred hectares of land, successful business and popularity, those are my tenacity in life that deteriorated my character and destroyed peace of mind. I had been in a pressing repercussion that leads me into sequential distraction. With these ordeals, the ramifications itself slumped me down from mud of failures, atrocious effects, and the devastated relationship between my personal core and inner significance to my being. Also, the hatred and burdens from past wounded conflicts against my colleagues, relatives, partner, and family also ricocheted into an excessive degree of suffering. It came up with unforgiving decisions, recondite horrendous emotion, and uncontrolled reaction. I’d feel the emptiness in my heart when everybody talked in a frivolous conversation about me and I always sense the queasy emotion every time I saw them happy on the online social community. I felt so jealous, anguish and a sense of insecurity. Before, I have a large number of friends and clients which became potential pitfalls to me. My very own loving friend of mine, who consumed a massive fire in our relationship, as a result, it causes a rift to our friendship. I had become upset regarding that, she exposed my secrets, wrestling me up by business and upstage me in all ways of being feminine. Aside from this, my marital status shake with a wild storm of disloyalty, selfishness, deafening arguments, disrespectful behavior towards one another, and another tempestuous rift, This was the stumbling stage of my life, loosing my friends, shattered my entrepreneur styles, along with blaming all people who didn’t show their care and love for me. As I recounted this entire predicament, I am humbly telling you that I was the worst version of my former days.
Until I cried out to the Lord and admitted that “I can’t bear this anymore, please help me.” This oppression cannot be handled anymore, so I shut the door of my social life, and choose to be alone. And, this is the beginning of my journey to know who is God to me?
That was my abyss time of my life.
