YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE
DEAR READER

No title available

blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

No title available

JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Colombia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from Belarus
seen from United States
@thedepressionoftrees
YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE
im gods weakest faggot
i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket
im gods most literate cat can i join
I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.
my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic
I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.
He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense
Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.
My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.
Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.
He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM
don't go into marine biology my dad was a marine biologist and he got eaten by an imitation crab
why does every cartoon character wear these underwear:
why don't u
because if I wore these underwear the universe would conspire to constantly put me in situations where my pants would get pulled down or destroyed and it’s so hard to find good pants
I have a few pairs of these exact underwear, which I wore whenever possible as a camp counselor.
The reason was that, if you get pantsed, and you weren't in on the joke / it wasn't planned, that's a massive breakdown in respect and discipline, and you have to make an example of that kid (generally by wrestling them, and in serious cases, taking away candy privileges). But getting pranked is still a bad look, and makes it seem cool to rebel against your authority.
However, if you get pantsed, and you are in on the joke, everyone has a good laugh, including you, and no one was actually rebelling. It both makes you look like a cool authority figure and makes the person doing it look like they're the sort of person in cahoots with counselors. Then, if there's a behavioral issue, you can have that quiet conversation later, away from an audience.
And since those underwear are so culturally specific as punchlines in a pantsing gag that the only plausible reason to be wearing them is if you're in on a slapstick act, you can retroactively Shanghai any would-be prankster into looking like they did it with your consent and planning, which not only keeps you from indignity, it makes sure that they're rewarded by laughter and attention for looking like they're cooperating with the staff, encouraging that in the future and bringing them in from the outside of the social-reward structure you're trying to set up, where it's cool too be wacky but responsible.
That preparation effort paid off maybe four times across three years, but it was completely worth it.
The downside, of course, is that when one of your kids goes missing in a storm when it's hailing and pouring sheets of water, and you don't have many dry clothes left, you're reduced to running through the rain looking for them in your underwear, which are situationally inappropriate / jarringly comical to the full extent possible.
why does every cartoon character wear these underwear:
why don't u
because if I wore these underwear the universe would conspire to constantly put me in situations where my pants would get pulled down or destroyed and it’s so hard to find good pants
I have a few pairs of these exact underwear, which I wore whenever possible as a camp counselor.
The reason was that, if you get pantsed, and you weren't in on the joke / it wasn't planned, that's a massive breakdown in respect and discipline, and you have to make an example of that kid (generally by wrestling them, and in serious cases, taking away candy privileges). But getting pranked is still a bad look, and makes it seem cool to rebel against your authority.
However, if you get pantsed, and you are in on the joke, everyone has a good laugh, including you, and no one was actually rebelling. It both makes you look like a cool authority figure and makes the person doing it look like they're the sort of person in cahoots with counselors. Then, if there's a behavioral issue, you can have that quiet conversation later, away from an audience.
And since those underwear are so culturally specific as punchlines in a pantsing gag that the only plausible reason to be wearing them is if you're in on a slapstick act, you can retroactively Shanghai any would-be prankster into looking like they did it with your consent and planning, which not only keeps you from indignity, it makes sure that they're rewarded by laughter and attention for looking like they're cooperating with the staff, encouraging that in the future and bringing them in from the outside of the social-reward structure you're trying to set up, where it's cool too be wacky but responsible.
That preparation effort paid off maybe four times across three years, but it was completely worth it.
The downside, of course, is that when one of your kids goes missing in a storm when it's hailing and pouring sheets of water, and you don't have many dry clothes left, you're reduced to running through the rain looking for them in your underwear, which are situationally inappropriate / jarringly comical to the full extent possible.
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
source
*giving you a tour of my tumblr dashboard* well that’s my mutual who posts beatles rpf and that’s my mutual who posts gifs of tv shows i haven’t watched and that’s my mutual who posts pictures of animals frolicking in fields or cool buildings or things like that and that’s my mutual who posts various images of men having sex. sometimes women too
#You know how your pals don't have an algorithm?#That's what I like about Tumblr
getting my content from my palgorithm as god intended
Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn
have you guys seen this
[Transcript.
Chef (voiceover): I'm a private chef for a famous billionaire and here's the average meal I cook. I start with chopping some green onions and shredding cabbage, and then I get it into that wok, then I keep chopping some -
Kaiba: Dammit. I lost to him again.
Chef: Oh Mr. Kaiba, welcome home s-
Kaiba: Quiet! Blue Eyes white Dragon nuggies. Now.
Chef: But sir, th-this is the fourth time -
Kaiba: No questions! Just do it.
Chef: *heavy sigh*
End transcript]
one thing I haven't gotten critiqued on yet but that I can see looming on the horizon, is that I really like to have main characters who are non-human and autistic-coded. and I've seen the conversations about how it's not actually all that validating to have "autistic rep" if the character in question is just an alien or a robot or whatever, and I actually do agree with that (for real!), but unfortunately I want to be a creature so so bad, I just really really want to be a creature. or like a little gnome or bug or something. so a good number of my autistic self inserts will just be awful fuck ass creatures and I apologize for that.
wait that's so big-brained
Relevant
absolute gold on Reddit today
This has to be a man.
The average woman has periods for 40 years, give or take, so at around 12 periods per year, that would be 480 eggs laid over her years of fertility.
Presumably they hatch into babies? There's no way on earth a woman is going to want to care for that many babies/hatchings, and is sitting on the eggs required as well? Is she ever able to leave the house or, you know, get her damn body and life back?
What a fucking dismal existence that would be. JFC.
even without the neopets solution I am Fascinated by the implication all eggs are fertile and this would result in every woman being the poultry virgin mary with 480 babies
kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017