Dark Dreams are Made @whycantiuseunderscore - Tumblr Blog

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Favorite Tumblr stories

All of the "humans are space orcs/space Australians"

But Especially the one that ends with "we're the Doctors Without Borders and we're here to help"

"can I ask you a question? ...what was your favorite thing to learn about as a kid?" Tiktok, in which I am both of them

Stabby the Roomba

Todd, the Demon Grandson and his myopic grandmother, and their seven season story arc

The God of Arepo (and the comic that was made from it)

New one: "may you have a life of safety and peace" said the witch, to the warrior, with his dying breath

And the SEQUEL

Concept: Pirates slay a monster mermaid to steal its treasure chest. Pirates open chest, finds a sleepy baby mermaid within. Monster mermaid was using the treasure chest as a cradle. Pirates: 😳😳😳

Cinderella and her face-blind prince

The comic, There Are No Nazis in Valhalla

Beau FUCKING Brummell and modern men's fashion

"I give regular Coke to skinny bitches who order diet hahahaha" DON'T DO THIS

This Irish hard-shoe dancer, Elizabeth Bullock

Big joy and small joy are the same

The bees will know: inkskinned honey jars

If fantasy creatures had Tumblr discourse

Ballerina Spiderman Miles Morales: "don't YEET the ballerina"

Steve Rogers wakes up "in the hospital"

The "Miette post" & its spiritual successors

Batman + Bruce Wayne "the butts match"

What if Bruce Wayne met Zuko? And Iroh met Alfred, and...

Venus of Willendorf and other paleolithic goddess/fertility figures sculpted by women using their own body as model

Living in a city with superheroes. (3 parts so far!

The A-ha Take On Me dancers tik tok

Chickens will sit on any egg if broody enough. Even an orphaned dragon egg (how DID that get in the brood box?)

Dragon stories from @microsff

"Dragon!" the knight shouted. The villagers surrounded him and his horse. "I shall slay it!" One by one, people went to the dragon and sobbe

Gonna pin this one and start adding links and updates.

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Superhero insurance part 2

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Are fedoras really that bad? (3M notes babey)

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Ah here we go: my personal credo.

"We're the Doctors without Borders and we're here to help"

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"Hello, adventurer..."

Todd the demon grandson LINK!

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Life hack list 101, and moving out

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Basic stretches for body function (and the website with more)

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So the other night during D&D, I had the sudden thoughts that: 1) Binary files are 1s and 0s 2) Knitting has knit stitches and purl stitches

Be careful with your humans (space orcs)

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USA National suicide hotline is 988 now (June 15 2022)

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Thyme and the witch that raised her

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My humble contribution to Thyme and the witch that raised her: the Golem Prince

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Link list of coping and feeding yourself when you've got chronic illnesses

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Links list for a post-Roe america (a beginning)

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I'd like to teach the world to sing....

Many cases of the world singing together!

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Wear your masks, vax your kids (& self!!) July 2022

The God of Arepo and the comic that was made from it: links included

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Someone else made a master fic list!

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Lists of free books and free resources in 2022 and 2023!

A sequel to the God Of Arepo!

A spoken word poem about self-healing!

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Part of why we need better education about pregnancy

A delightful way to leave specially tailored kudos on AO3!

A list of links to help you learn sign languages!

Links to help you get better with computers AND information security hopefully

You were 12 when you broke your father's hand in a high five

Schoolhouse Rock, and linguistics!

How to win an argument ?

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A different story about seeing numbers, counters, over someone else's head...

#tumblr stories #resources

fleabagsversion

By the way, Ilya is not the only one who is interested in this relationship. Shane is also equally or more obsessed with Ilya. It was Shane who tried to extend a hand in friendship during Sochi and then Vegas. It was Shane who came to Tampa Bay with every intention of winning Ilya back. It was Shane who pushed through Ilya’s bullshit just so they could finally acknowledge their feelings for eachother. Yes, Ilya is so down bad for Shane that he willingly hands his leash to him or whatever, but Shane is equally down bad for Ilya. He was chasing after Ilya as much as Ilya was chasing after him. The downbadism goes both ways.

barbie-verse

Heated Rivalry Twitter AU Masterpost

Links to just the memes without the commentary! If you want the full thing plus behind the memes thoughts check out the tag

blushingrozy

everyone on my dash: posting super in-depth, lengthy, beautiful essays abouy ilya and shane and their relationship. creating whole new headcanons that are very accurate. discussing every frame from the show and adding new details to it with the books in mind.

me: i think ilya had dragostea din tei as his ringtone on his prepaid phone in 2004

penandinkprincess

extremely endeared about the idea of shane and ilya babysitting the pike kids and shane getting assigned role of king because he's mostly just interested in sitting and spectating to make sure no one is actually getting hurt and meanwhile ilya is alternatively a dragon/enemy knight/friendly knight/horse depending literally on the second and which kid you ask

which also leads to the very funny moment of the twins bringing their "captive" to king shane for judgement of his crimes and shane not even lowering his sunglasses and going "off with his head"

ilya is just D:< you will not even TRY to argue clemency?? for your HUSBAND???

"sir ruby, what are his crimes?"

"smashing the village and eating ALL the villagers >:D"

"yeah, death for sure" *dismissive hand flick*

spuddlymuffin

ilya fully talks to inanimate objects.

at first, shane doesn’t clock it cuz its all in russian. but as he starts to learn, he’s just like

“??????

did you just thank the toaster?” shane’s voice cracks a bit

and ilya does a little blushy blush, but passes it off all, “yes, hollander. mr. toaster works very hard for us. is the least i can do.”

and shane finds him doing it all over the place.

“Mr. Medicine, I am going to take you again, but I don’t know if you are working hard enough. I am going to tell the nice psychiatrist all about you. Better watch out. She might replace you.”

“Mmmmmmm, Shane will like you very much.” To the new plug he just unboxed.

But Shane does sometimes have to intervene. “Please don’t conspire with the blender. I really need the blender to work for me, Rozanov.”

“No, Hollander. Ms. Blender says you are working her too hard and that you should eat the eggs I made you.”

lexicanons

Post-TLG Hollanov are woken at an ungodly hour by Shane’s phone. Shane answers and Yuna tells him to put her on speaker phone. Shane does and she tells them not to freak out but someone put a hidden camera in their hotel room when they were last in St. Louis, and the video is now on the internet. Yuna is working to get it taken down, but it’s spread like wildfire. Shane and Ilya are like “oh shit” and start to panic because the last time they played in St Louis a really bad snow storm rolled in, so they were stuck there for an extra day and spent the whole day fucking. An unauthorized Hollanov sex tape hits the internet. Half of the fandom is like “don’t watch it, respect their privacy” and other half is giving play-by-play commentary and writing essays about the video. #ProRiderShane, #ServiceTopIlya, and #TwoBigDicks are trending. Shane wants the earth to swallow him whole while Ilya tweets out “Damn, we look so good together” and Shane takes Ilya’s phone and flushes it down the toilet.

my-2nd-account

More HR as textposts:

academicblorbo

Years later when Ilya & Shane are about to officially announce that they are together:

Svetlana: ok so since this is about to become huge, I thought I'd let you know in advance. Ilya's coming out

Sasha: oof good luck to him

Svetlana: and he's with a guy

Sasha: shocking

Svetlana: who is the best player in the league and one of the best ever

Sasha: that checks out

Svetlana: he is half Asian

Sasha: I don't see how that's relev-

Svetlana: they're getting married

Sasha: wait what

Svetlana: they own a Land Rover

Sasha: hold on a damn minute

Svetlana: they run a charity together

Sasha: FUCKIN STOP

penandinkprincess

with how much ilya likes moving shane's face around at his leisure, i'm cackling about the idea of him being completely unprepared on the day shane does it to him

he's not looking at shane while he says something because he's reading a text from svetlana, and shane just huffs an annoyed breath and grabs him by the chin to demand his attention and ilya just

as he learns something new about himself

penandinkprincess

i'm laughing about the idea of "i'm telling galina" being an inside joke with shane and ilya

it started because shane was just annoyed that ilya wouldn't talk to him one day and blurted out "i'm going to tell galina you're not talking to me!" in a frustration/desperation play, and it was just. such a left field threat that it made ilya laugh and actually broke the tension.

and it just evolves from there until galina's name is invoked like a private deity.

laundry's not folded? "i'm texting galina"

last of the protein powder is gone but the empty container was left in the pantry? "oh, galina's gonna kick your ASS for this one, motherfucker"

they find out that they've been accidentally both feeding anya because she is a faking little liar who lies? "galina's gonna be pissed at us"

omens-of-what-is-to-cum

Ilya gets validation and attention by acting negatively (like a lot of abused and neglected kids, acting out cause it’s the only way they gets acknowledged) and so once dating Shane, he’ll intentionally provoke Shane’s nagging because that is Proof Of Affection because Shane wants him to last long enough for forever! and it’s also just sooo Shane and it makes him feel so loved and important and protected he literally melts into a little puddle, and it’s a constant battle of wills against his uncontrollable blue-eye-puppy-eyes that appear whenever Shane does literally anything, because game over if Shane knows he’s irritating him intentionally.

but all Shane sees is his compulsive bossy pedantry constantly vomiting out of him onto Ilya’s lap. He can’t help it- he just wants to share what he knows because he needs Ilya to be healthyandhappyandsafe and he loves him but nobody likes a fucking nagging bossy pedant!! It’s the most annoying trait! People call him stuck up and robotic all of the time!! People are annoyed by him!! And Ilya is people and Ilya will be annoyed by him and resent him and hate him and then leave him-

so Shane works sososoo hard to stop. He’s biting his tongue when Ilya orders a second sundae or leaves for a smoke break and clicking out of their text chain when Ilya texts him at three in the morning or works out on a strained shoulder. He will fucking stop. He will be so good and not annoy Ilya because Ilya is a wild animal right? He doesn’t want to be tamed. He will leave if Shane tries to make his arms a cage, and then Shane will be nothing but empty and hollow inside.

and Ilya is rabid in his own head. His fishing for affirmation and affection and irritated-but-solemn orders is suddenly coming up bone dry. Shane shows love through wanting him to be well. Shane says he wants forever by trying to guarantee it. Shane can’t have stopped loving him right? Right?

so Ilya’s escalating because there needs to be something that will garner a reaction and then it will all be Okay Again- he just needs one nag and it will be okay again and Shane will love him again.

the inside of Shane’s mouth feels bloody-raw with how hard he’s biting it, watching Ilya be increasingly risky with his health and do things that he knows upset himself, all the while staring Shane down like he’s challenging him to slip up, but he Won’t.

Shane just becomes more sneaky about keeping Ilya safe (because not doing it to his face didn’t count right? That was okay right?), replacing the thin fucking jacket Ilya keeps wearing outside in the Boston fall with a puffer coat because he can’t fucking handle seeing Ilya wear it and-

the next week Ilya is looking for his too-cold jacket to send pictures of himself in with the plausible deniability of going out for Starbucks (another thing Shane hates) when he sees the new jacket and he knows it was Shane that got it and it’s warm and soft and has little fucking Lamborghinis embroidered on it and he’s so fucking relieved that he just falls face first into his bed, clutching it to his chest.

he still doesn’t understand what’s happening, but surely that’s something right? And that’s what gives him the confidence to, upon next seeing Shane in person, ask why Shane’s so angry with him.

And Shane sits there shocked because he’s trying to stop Ilya from being angry with him?? And Ilya is insisting Shane must be mad at him because he’s not showing him affection properly. And Shane is once again just like ????!?!?!? Because all he’s doing is trying to show affection properly!!!

So Ilya points out that Shane has stopped bothering him about being alive so they can be together forever, so he must not want to be together forever anymore.

and Shane is just like, [shocked pikachu face] you like that??? I stopped because I thought it was going to make YOU stop wanting ME for forever!!!!

and so they FINALLY talk, and Shane makes Ilya promise to never try to hurt himself to get Shane’s affection, and Ilya makes Shane realise that his arms could never be a cage to him, only a home.

penandinkprincess

okay but hudson saying that it didn't show up in the frame of the shot but that when ilya brought up marrying svetlana during the couch scene he made the choice to have shane pull his legs up some because he couldn't imagine ever wanting to touch feet with someone he's mad at makes me laugh imagining it being an ongoing tell when ilya's getting himself in trouble

they're unwinding for the day together just casually playing footsie while doing their own thing on either end of the couch and then ilya just says something in passing without thinking about it, feels shane go very still, and looks up to see shane make eye contact and slooooowly start pulling his feet away

and ilya just starts sweating

penandinkprincess

i know that ilya's ass is SO dramatic about getting his goodbye kisses after he and shane are together

shane forgets because he's running late for a meeting one day and has to rush out of the door, and he then arrives at the studio for the photoshoot he has booked to see a text from ilya with three different headstone styles with "one of these, i think"

and is just "for?? what??"

"when i am dead from broken heart because my husband does not love me anymore and does not kiss me before i will not see him for twenty years"

"ilya, i will be home in like four hours"

*pictures of two different casket models* "i am thinking the darker wood one, but perhaps that is too nice for your taste now that you do not love me anymore. perhaps you will bury me in cardboard shoe box like sad, dead hamster."

evilvillain123456789

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

eriaandrafloop

What if Ilya just starts buying random shit for Shane that Shane mentions IN PASSING he kinda likes?

Shane is like, “Remember DVD players? That was fun.” The next week, Ilya comes home with a DVD player he found online and a huge collection of old discs.

They go to someone’s house, and Shane sees a Banksy piece hanging on the wall and goes, “Hey, that’s kinda neat.” Guess what gets delivered to their doorstep a couple of months later? Shane is super fucking confused—but grateful—because he doesn’t even remember mentioning it. Ilya shrugs. “Is not big deal.”

They’re driving on a familiar road, and Shane goes, “That’s a cool house. I always wondered who owns that property.” It’s you, Shane. You own it. Because Ilya is already on his phone, calling their realtor.

It gets to the point where Shane has to start specifying every time: “I like this thing—” Ilya lights up. “—BUT I'M NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING TO POSSESS ONE.”

Ilya frowns and dramatically slumps his shoulders.

some-ancient-god

GUYS, there are interactive fics and they're so pretty omg 😭

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I mean I have seen some really cool features through the years, but this one si SO PRETTY 😭 and anonymous 😭

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