The Drunk Cucumber

70% water, 30% alcoholic regret.

[jklmarco]

[carcinogeneticst]

I 100% think that if you went inside, you would walk into a normal sized one. It would be seemingly normal, with everyday employees and shoppers. And you’d wander around and almost forget the weird beginning of this adventure, buy a DVD, and then step back out into this field.

[autistic-liberation-front]

[teathattast]

[temxyz-deactivated20220424]

vibe check

[teathattast]

[weloveshortvideos]

x

[rynabuns]

what on earth

[edvardgrieg-official]

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

[whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating]

tchaikovsky is proud

[tinker-tanner]

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

[ghostgloss]

concept

[petitetimidgay-deactivated20240]

me, in the year 2040, getting ready for a fancy dinner party, standing in front of my antique gold vanity mirror, wearing a saint laurent f/w 2039 evening gown and cartier diamond earrings, taking a sip of champagne: what did you learn at school today, honey? :-)

my future child, laying on my king-sized bed with burgundy satin sheets: not much, in history we talked about the 2016 election. do you remember any of that?

me: drops my crystalline wineglass

[trashboat]

[lauramercierbodyscrub]

being in a public restroom and hearing someone shitting really loud

[fstw-deactivated20141229]

being in a public restroom

[tango12212-deactivated20150821]

being in a public

[fstw-deactivated20141229]

being

[lauramercierbodyscrub]

people adding things 2 my posts

[fstw-deactivated20141229]

your posts

[lauramercierbodyscrub]

ur blog

[kmalakhn-blog-blog]

u

[lordwellingtonofficial]

IM LAUGHING SO HARD. I THREW MY PHONE SO I COULD BREATHE

[butchfatty-deactivated20210203]

you thinking that comment was necessary

[adamatronic-deactivated20170419]

thinking

[delusion-of-negation]

wen u zoom in

[c0ld-h4nds-deactivated20181105]

I love this post

[eee-in]

love

[c0ld-h4nds-deactivated20181105]

It just keeps getting better

[ilikechildren--fried-deactivate]

overused captions

[adamatronic-deactivated20170419]

Tumblr’s new layout

[this-is-cthulhu-privilege]

tumblr

[1nvisibl3]

the internet

[tomche]

this is the only long ass post i’m ever going to reblog

[tiktokarchive]

[zhimaqiu]

And this is tiktok we need

[my-chemical-angel]

WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I NEEDED IT?????

[animationstations]

[catholicamputee]

this was the weirdest movie ever.

[marsup]

shrek 2 was the highest grossing film of 2004 and is the 26th highest grossing film of all time

[sunshinesalmon]

end my suffewing

[fuckyahumor]

im hungwy

[cooldogs]

[alienpapacy]

girls’ night!

[gentlealien]

girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night

[plainwhitebees]

life, but everytime you cry it gets faster

[toastbutteregg]

this hit home

[toastbutteregg]

saw this on my dash and thought wow I’m being attacked rn only to find out it’s myself attacking me

[yellowjuice-deactivated20190512]

The next time someone tries to argue with you about “disrespecting the flag/troops by kneeling” show them this.

[simonalkenmayer]

Also, the hand goes over the heart during the salute (which is very recent as an addition) while the anthem is sung with hats removed, no hand over heart.

I’m not much of one for caring about arbitrary symbols, but don’t have etiquette if you’re not going to observe it properly, while you scream about others who do.

[cornbreadxmilk-deactivated20220]

Retrograde does not affect me... Im already silly billy mode 24/7 ...

[vvhack]

[lovingechoes]

Gotta do it

[kaible-deactivated20181205]

I don’t care what news I get I just want this stupid potato dog on my dash

[travellertalks]

^

[cummunismkillls-deactivated2019]

Ok But i reblogged ya ugly ass!!! Where’s my good news you cock eyed potato piece of shit

[lithicc]

Fun History Fact: The overwhelming majority of cowboys in the U.S. were Indigenous, Black, and/or Mexican persons. The omnipresent white cowboy is a Hollywood studio concoction meant to uphold the mythology of white masculinity.

[howmanymoredays-deactivated2013]

Thank you.

[myvaginaisanuclearreactor-deact]

I will always re-blog this

[skywritingg]

I think it was high school when i overheard some white girl put on her best semi-disgusted and confused voice and go “why do so many Mexicans dress up like cowboys?” and I had to be the person to tell her.

[mexica-boricua-deactivated20180]

Why do you think the whites say buckero? Cause they couldn’t say vaquero.

[thewellofastarael]

[manynamedshe]

I dunno if I reblogged this before but fuck it, y'all gon learn today.

[nyokoko]

Teach the children.

[fifty-shadesofgay]

also, cowboy culture was hella gay. like, write-poems-about-your-cowboy-partner gay.

IF people acknowledge it, they play the necessity card– there weren’t any women out on the range, so they had to “resort to men.” this claim completely erases 1) the romantic (not just sexual) writings of actual cowboys, 2) the acknowledgement of cowboys’ potential homosexual activity by writers at the time, and 3) the possibility that some men would deliberately become cowboys with the intent to seek out homosexual encounters.

no one wants to admit it, but cowboy culture was just. so inherently gay.

[scandinavianindian]

Im here for the gay POC cowboys