Going the extraa..mile

[theextraaamile-blog]

The Night

Room No 501 it was, I will never forget that night. She was loud and he was fast. The faster he went, the louder she got. At least it seemed that way, I was the fortunate next room-neighbor, room No 502. It was a long night. I didn’t get a wink of sleep, its difficult to sleep when people next door are having so much fun, that all you can do is listen even if you didn’t want to.

Call it a lucky co-incidence that I was booked a room on the same floor next to the room of the just-wed couple whose wedding was held in the lawns of the same hotel a few hours ago. I might have not known the couple personally but as the night progressed, I’m sure I did hear the woman call her man a tiger a couple of times.

Its not always you wake up the next morning with a smile on your face, if you haven’t slept the previous night. It’s not every night you pay Rs.19,524/- with tax for a room with free porn even though it was just audio and no visuals. I would take that any day!

[theextraaamile-blog]

Buying Gifts

Gifting people on occasions is a social norm, people expect at least 1 gift (if not more) from every invite they send out..its normal, unless stated otherwise on the card invite.

1 in every 50 invites will you find a card that says “Your presence is our present”.. now that’s more like it. You know almost at once that either one side (if not both sides) of the family is very rich and they don’t really care for people’s gifts. Its more a status they are looking at. More the people invited, more successful the event. I avoid such functions, I hate such people, unless of course they are close family friends…well then you really can’t avoid making an appearance..at the dinner table and maybe a few seconds on the passing video camera sipping on your drink and smiling awkwardly.

What happens then for those functions that don’t mention that our presence is valued more than a gift..? It starts a circle of going from shop-to-shop to find a perfect gift, something not too small-not too big, something which fits our budget (considering we are Indians) which should not go above INR 1000. I mean how much food can we eat worth that…even if 5 members of the family go? :D ..and yes people think like that. Normal gifts for a wedding for example would be.. what? cups? bowls? dinner set? microwave set of special containers or something. I once gifted a wall rosary to a colleague of mine who got married. Now hows that for being different & unique? It was appreciated too :)

Buying gifts for birthdays & Anniversaries on the other hand are relatively easier, there is a wide choice. I remember for my sisters 21st birthday, she was gifted a maximum number of flower vases. Not that she was in the florist business that she could use so many. For the couple of people who bought flowers, we used the vases to display them the next morning on the dining table :)

It was easier giving gifts when we’re younger. For most of my girl-friends (that would have to be understood as friends who are girls), I gave them teddies along with a personalized greeting card and they loved it. Of course now, it would be something that their children play with, pull out an eye or two..today’s children I tell you…! Little monsters they are ;)

What’s the best gift you’ve received on your birthday? or if you’re married..on your wedding day?

When it comes to me..my friends really do not know what to gift me coz I show no special love towards anything specific. Tho’ they are some friends who do take the trouble to notice the small things I do, say and show a little interest in (I love those kind of friends). I was once gifted a story book (yes! I love reading), another time a Parker pen (I love writing), on another occasion a compiled cd with my favorite songs ( I love listening to music in my [dad’s] car). I love blogging now, so I guess a laptop would be an ideal gift no?

I am not so much into receiving gifts, flowers, cakes..the big celebrations. That’s why one will never find me home on my birthday, I’m either out of town, state or best country. A friend of mine once asked;

“Savio, what would you like on your birthday?”

now people rarely ask these kind of open ended questions..and she was quite surprised by the answer I gave her.

I replied “Say a prayer and that will be the best gift you can ever give me”

For me life isn’t so much about the material things, God has blessed with me a wonderful family, good friends and a healthy life. Isn’t that more than enough?

..though sometimes, cash makes a pretty good birthday gift too :) you know just in case if people are in the giving spirit.. considering my birthday is in the 2nd week of January and everyone is still pretty much in the Christmas spirit :) lol

[theextraaamile-blog]

‘P’ Talk

Do it sitting or standing, it needs to be done.

Some Pee Facts:

1. On an average a person pees seven times a day.

2. A pee session of a healthy person lasts about 7 seconds. If one feels the urgent need to pee and the peeing lasts for only 2 seconds or so, one might be suffering from an infection.

3. The bladder of an adult can hold anything from 300 to 500 ml of urine. Not that we go about calculating and release accordingly. Just saying ;)

4. The color of your pee is indicative of your health. [This is Important] ~ read the chart below

5. If your pee has a sweet smell then it might be indicative of diabetes

6. But if one’s pee has a foul smell then it indicates that the kidneys are probably spilling glucose or protein into the urine

7. There is a condition called oliguria, where you don’t pee enough. Remember, on an average 7 times a day. Drink lots of water

8. Unlike popular belief, it does not help if one urinates on a jellyfish sting. A moment of silence for all those who have been peed upon. Remember Joey, Chandler & Monica’s secret?

9. There is something called ‘morning pee’, which is highly acidic…and as the day progresses pee becomes gradually more basic.

10. The pee stream of women is wider than men’s.

Do you feel the urge to pee after reading this..? Well, its only natural..now go ahead, let me not keep you waiting any longer :)

[theextraaamile-blog]

The Appropriate Name

Bringing a new life into this world is probably one of the best things that can happen to parents but what’s equally important is giving an appropriate name to your child. I can never quite understand some of the names parents give their children..

Some of the names that I’ve heard which surprise me..

APRIL – MAY –  JUNE

Aren’t these months of the year? Unless your child is born in that month, why would you name the kid after a certain month? I know a person named June, when I asked her when she was born, she said January.. and I was like huh? Name the girl January..that makes sense right?

HOPE – FAITH – CHASTITY – PATIENCE

Okay, this is a bit too much. I think they are wonderful words with even better meanings but using it as a name..I don’t know!

Imagine if Hope meets Faith and they get married and have a daughter who they name Chastity, going by her name, her love life is screwed [we all know what chastity means]

Has Love been taken as a name as yet? I’d like to name my daughter that ..and as she grows up to be a beautiful woman, she would meet a man and fall in love with him, his name being Joy. Her wedding card would read Love weds Joy..sounds cool doesn’t it?

Some parents may take the route of using part of the mothers and father’s name, join them and make a new name

..for example; Ana & Savio adds up to Savannah. It sounds nice and its got the mother & father’s name in it. It’s a name of a city in Georgia, it is at least better than Chastity!

[Not that I know any specific person named Ana, not personally at least]

Being a teacher, giving examples always helps for better understanding. So hope I’ve made my point well :)

I already have a set of names I’ve kept in a hidden folder somewhere, which I’ll pull out when its time :)

Any other interesting names you have come across?

[theextraaamile-blog]

Do Penguins dance daddy?

The little girl asked “do penguins dance daddy?”

“Yes they do munchkin”

“but I’ve never seen a penguin dance”

“u know uncle joe, he’s actually a penguin :p he dances his butt off” :)

“Uncle Joe is a penguin?”   :D

So the question is “Do penguins really dance?”

I live in India, how am I supposed to know? We don’t have penguins here. I haven’t seen a live penguin walk let alone dance..but I do know they do this the little waddle and hopping thing when they walk..and they look adorably cute while at it <3 Yes, I watch movies, I watched ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’..so I have an idea. I haven’t watched Happy Feet as yet..can you believe it? No right? Me too!! I need to get down to downloading it.

Well, coming to the Penguin Dance.. What is that all about? Nowadays it’s like a wedding is incomplete without doing the penguin dance thing, it does makes people look really silly :p but what the hell, it’s fun acting like penguins..if penguins actually did that kinda thing :)

So what does it take to learn the dance? Below are the steps:

Steps 1 & 2: Kick to the left with your left foot, then step back to the middle.

Steps 3 & 4: Kick to the right with your right foot, then step back to the middle.

[these can be interchanged..basically follow the leader]

Step 5: Jump forward with both feet (just a few inches).

Step 6: Jump backward with both feet (again, just a few inches).

Steps 7 & 8: Jump forward three times with both feet.

..and repeat

Yes, that’s it…!

[theextraaamile-blog]

Bollywood vs Hollywood

What does one expect when he/she goes to watch a new film?

Let’s talk of Bollywood films first.. Bollywood is no longer all about running around trees and getting wet in the rain. The latest of Bollywood movies will see cars flying in the air and really bad adaptations of so-called humor..and worse still, talk of some producers roping the porn star (guess you know who I’m referring to) just to increase the viewership of their pathetic films.

Bollywood is on an all time decline when it comes to producing films, but now and then you will have one brilliantly produced film that gives the Indian movie-fan a new hope that; Wait!! Maybe..just maybe the next one may be as good as the previous one..but alas! the next one will be a total FLOP.

What expectations do I have when going to watch a Bollywood movie in a theater?

For one, I am investing a good 3 hours of my life to a movie so I am very careful which ones I go for. My choices have not always been great but at most times I have probably (after reading multiple reviews) chosen the good movie to watch. ..Oh and yes, always take good company when watching a film..at least that way if the film isn’t interesting, you still have fun with your friends, lover etc. # The story needs to have substance # The actress has to be cute, actor isn’t good looking..not a problem [I would never go for a Sunny Leone film] # I should be able to at least laugh at some of the jokes. # A little romance will do in the film # The film should have at least 3 good songs

Let’s see now..the movies I have watched and loved for either one or all the above reasons.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan – Who could hate this movie? The first ever movie that had me shed tears. I have never ever done that before, even when my grandmother died :D I never shed tears, this movie moved me to that extent.

Piku – Simply for Deepika and yes Amitabh is always a worth watch..and for a director who produced Vicky Donor as his first movie..I was very interested :D

ABCD 2 – Having watched the first part, had to watch the sequel which was ‘okay’ Shradha Kapoor, she’s cute <3

Welcome Back – Only for Majnu and Uday..I think they were hilarious :)

Dil Dhadakne Do – One big confusion..didn’t realy know what was happening and when I did start following what was happening..the movie ended.

Katti Batti – my biggest mistake. CRAP movie! though the visuals and promos looked very good.

P.K – The movie not to miss out on. Anushka sharma, I tried not to look at her lips..they looked weird but otherwise I think she acted really well. The movie was a hilarious one to say the least :D

Ek Villian – I loved this movie, especially for the story. Seeing Riteish Deshmukh in a different role was awesome and the way he played his role to perfection. The songs were great and Shradha Kapoor <3

2 States – Loved the novel so watched the movie… Alia, <3 her too. Though I think the novel was way better than the movie. The movie adaptation wasn’t bad

Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania – Another Alia Bhatt film..so yes! <3there

…among the most recent ones

A very wise friend advised me once “Whenever you decide to watch a Bollywood movie, leave your brains at home. Don’t even analyse what’s going on the screen..nothing will ever make sense. You pay for Entertainment not knowledge”

Coming to Hollywood, I watch almost everything. The thing I look in for Hollywood movies is the English accent and new vocabulary. Of course it needs a good story which all of them have. From the love stories to the comedies and the horror…I like them all. Nicholas Sparks movies are awesome, watched all of them :) Hangover, Part I, II and III loved them too and there are so many more that will take a whole post dedicated to just movies I’ve watched..and yes, I’ve watched a lot.

I’m not a movie buff but I do like to watch a movie once in a way, to stir up my emotions a bit when I feel a little lost.

So that’s all about movies I like…Which Bollywood and Hollywood movies are your personal favorites?

[theextraaamile-blog]

I almost never honk…

I’ll complete that sentence.. I almost never honk at female drivers. Why? Well as you know I am a single and unmarried. Who knows if I could be honking at my future wife, her mother, sister or her aunt or her aunt’s sister. I would want to create a good first impression right? The state I live in is very small, the smallest state in India – Goa, having just two districts..North Goa & South Goa..and everybody seems to know each other.

Imagine I go for a proposal and a little earlier in the day I had this honking session on the road with the very same girl who I am now seated in front of. I hear her telling her mom

“this was the same guy who was honking, like non stop..I almost froze (she makes a face) He has absolutely no patience. He’s not good husband material. He’s a honker” BAM!! Game Over!! :D

In India, honking is normal, look at the traffic and honking is your only option of moving forward even in Goa , being the smallest state in India, it makes no difference really!

There are times the situation gets really bad on roads that you HAVE TO HONK..and we don’t do it just once…we continue pressing the damn thing till we get heard. I do make it a point tho’ if there is a female around, I do the normal honk (just once) and then she’ll look to your side. She’d be on her bike and me in my car and I’ll give her the Joey-Head-Movement of How you Doin’?..you have got to see the smile on her face..precious :)

Goa does have some really pretty girls..why just Goa..India too, some girls are worth turning lesbian for..I just didn’t say that now..did I. Just speaking for some of my female friends :)

So yes! Advice coming your way “Don’t honk at a girl in traffic..give her the joey head movement..she will like it, unless of course if she’s a lesbian then she could care less.

The image to your left is the International hand movement for “what the fuck is wrong with you” works everywhere…people use it extensively. If you haven’t used it till now, it’s never too late to start :)

A question for all reading… Are you a compulsive Honker?

[theextraaamile-blog]

I’ll have a coke..

I feel very out of place at social gatherings and at various functions. Why? You may ask.. I am social, I love being around people but when it comes to being around people with a glass in hand, either my glass is filled with water or coke..no hard drinks ..and that’s where the problem lies.

Where has it been said one has to be intoxicated to have a good time? Doesn’t one lose all his/her senses when down with one too many drinks?

Take yesterday for example, We went to the neighbors house and as good hosts they asked us if i’d like something to drink, I said;

“I’ll have a coke”

“coke with…”

“I’ll have a coke with ice in a glass” and I smiled

So yes, that was it, while the others were with different hot drinks poured into their glasses and in high spirits, I on the other hand was with my glass of coke in my hand.

Another instance was when I was working in Mumbai and met this long time friend, we decided to go out for lunch. He took the liberty of ordering what he thought would be something I liked. He ordered for fried fish (I absolutely love fish) and 2 beers for starters.

“Make that one beer” I told the waiter

“One bottle won’t be enough” my friend commented

“you can have the whole bottle, I don’t drink” I replied calmly

“you don’t drink..you’re Goan and you don’t drink”

Now what’s Goa got to do with drinking? Not every goan drinks. Okay let me re-phrase that.. Not every Goan I know, drinks. There are many other things Goans do, doesn’t mean I follow the pack.

I am a Goan and a sophisticated one at that. I don’t drink neither do I smoke nor do drugs. I know for sure I will be out living a few of my fellow goans who do drink.

I have no issues with people who drink, why should they have a problem if I don’t. Makes sense!?

I know, I know..drinking is fun and all, I think too…drinking water is always fun.Join me!

[theextraaamile-blog]

F.U.C.K.

There was a sound file which was circulating around on WhatsApp and other media. Sharing this on my blog I thought would be a good idea.

Below is the text version of the sound file. There couldn’t have been anything more hilarious and queerly odd for a lesson in English grammar!

I suggest you not to take this post as offensive, but as an English GRAMMAR LESSON :)

This would also be a good time to actually do the ‘rotfl’ bit. We often use it but never do it for real. ROTFL, the full form being ‘rolling on the floor laughing’

So here goes!

“FuCk is one of the most beautiful words. English language should be proud of it….

“I don’t think any other language has any such beautiful word.

“One Tom from California has done great research on it. I think he must be the famous Tom. Of Tom, Dick, Harry fame…

“He says one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word FuCk. It is a magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

“In language, it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive—John FuCked Mary—and intransitive—Mary was FuCked by John. And as a noun: Mary is a fine FuCk!

“It can be used as an adjective. Mary is FuCking beautiful. As you can see, there are not many words with the versatility of the word FuCk! Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses.

“Fraud: I got FuCked at the used car lot!

“Ignorance: FuCk if I knew!

“Trouble: I guess I’m FuCked now!

“Aggression: FuCk you!

“Displeasure: What the FuCk is going on here!

“Difficulty: I can’t understand this FuCking job!

“Incompetence: He is a FuCk off!

“Suspicion: What the FuCk are you doing!

“Enjoyment: I had a FuCking time!

“Request: Get the FuCk out of here!

“Hostility: I’m going to knock your FuCking head off!

“Greeting: How the FuCk are you!

“Apathy: Who gives a FuCk!

“Innovation: Get a bigger FuCking hammer!

“Surprise: FuCk, you scared the shit out of me!

“Anxiety: Today is really FuCked!

And it is very healthy too. If every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation… just when you get up… the first thing… repeat the mantra, FuCk you, five times… it clears the throat… that’s how I keep my throat clear….enough for today!

There was a time this word was part of my vocabulary. For all those who are still going thru the ‘FuCk’ stage :D Read and Enjoy. Maybe I’ll upload the sound file too…a little later.

[theextraaamile-blog]

Crying at funerals

Crying makes me uncomfortable, I never cry..it’s not my thing. I do feel sad but I will never show that on my face and that’s why people normally mis-understand me and say “this guy is heartless”.. but, that’s ok, people always have to say something..and nobody can stop them from saying it.

People cry, some from the heart and some artificially.

Did you know that nowadays people are hired to cry? If you didn’t know..well now you do. I might not be able to distinguish one from the other but I have been told. Where do you find these people..I don’t know, I have never known.

Imagine hiring people to cry, shout in front of a dead body. Yes,  A DEAD BODY..he/she might have been your mother/father when alive..the fact is, the person lying in the box is a DEAD BODY and that’s what people will refer to it as.Harsh, isn’t it? That’s the truth.

Crying, like many things has now become a business. Grieving for a dead member of the family is a very personal thing. It is very natural to feel sad or even shed a tear or two, after all you will never see that person again.

Another thing that I notice at funerals is, the family hires a photographer to capture the last few moments of the person being on earth. Now why would you do that? Why would you want to have memories of a body in a coffin for memory? If you truly loved this person, you will want to have happy memories, when she was laughing, joking..and in his/her best times in life. I surely wouldn’t want people to take photographs of me when I am in a box, I think the pics taken with family and friends would be more precious than that of me in a box.

Everybody has to DIE sometime or the other. We must be happy for the person, that he/she has returned to the Father’s house and there he/she will be happy. Yes, it means that he/she will not be around us..but it isn’t good to be selfish too ryt? We are all on a journey through life here on earth, our final destination being our Father’s house in Heaven..so while on earth, why not be good people? Do things that make people happy, live a stress-less life..money really isn’t everything, memories are..go create lots of them..for when our time is finally up.. I’m sure God isn’t going to ask us how many crores we’ve earned on Earth but on how much good we have done and how many people we have brought closer to him.

[theextraaamile-blog]

…selectively social

Just because you sit next to me..you are not obliged to talk to me.

Silence works fine.

I am not anti-social.. I am just selectively social.

Some people just have the urge to say stuff..they can’t contain themselves.

[theextraaamile-blog]

The End

Melvin found  himself standing at the edge of a cliff.. looking down. He wondered if anyone would even miss him after he was gone. All he had was his Maruti 800 for company. The same car that saw so many women walk in and walk out of..

In a couple of minutes it would be a new year..Melvin had decided..enough was enough, he couldn’t go through another year.  He had already lost everything, there was nothing to live for. He never thought his life would come down to this..all he did in life was make people cry and today while he stared at his final destination, it was tears he found trickling down his eyes. 23.58 it showed on his watch. He knew it was almost time. He  switched off his car headlights, locked his car, threw away the keys and moved closer to the edge..

“What’s the hurry? You still have two minutes more right?” A voice said from behind..

[theextraaamile-blog]

The Totally Unexpected..

The taxi was already downstairs waiting, the driver was told to be below the building exactly at 3 a.m. He had already honked 2 times but he wouldn’t want to overdo it, it was after all as early as 3.30 in the morning but with no sign of his passenger, he was getting a little agitated …he was about to horn the third time when he finally saw him come down the flight of steps struggling to carry his fairly large suitcase and a couple of bags on either side of his shoulder. Ryan gave a kiss to his wife while the taxi driver loaded his suitcase along with the two bags in the dicky. The driver started on the ignition and the taxi came to life…pressing the accelerator a couple of times to check if all was right to go. “Give me a call as soon as you reach Doha airport, I’ll be waiting” as the taxi drove out rather quickly. She kept waving her hand as she saw the taxi moving further and further out of her sight, she gave him a flying kiss, she whispered a silent “miss you baby” Lorraine wanted to accompany her hubby to the airport to spend those few precious minutes before he would catch his flight but Ryan had insisted that she not come along as it was early in the morning and he would be really worried about her travelling back alone in the taxi even before dawn…it took a lot of coaxing from Ryan that she finally gave in to not going along with him to the airport. The “Airport” however held a special place in both their hearts as they first met and eventually fell in love at the airport, while he was in transit, she was travelling to Sri Lanka to attend her best friend’s wedding…they met and got talking over at the ‘Cafe Coffee Day’ counter… a year later and they were married.

Ryan and Lorraine were recently married, just over a month. Ryan’s office was in the phase of expansion and he was clearly told by his boss that he was the first one chosen to head their first international assignment in London. Lorraine was disappointed when Ryan mentioned that he would have to leave to London soon after they got married..but at the same time promised her that it would be very soon that she would also be able to join him in London and they could start their lives afresh in a new city and country. They still did have a good 31 days before he had to leave.

25th September, 7.15 a.m (India) 4.45 a.m (Doha) :-

Lorraine was in the kitchen. She was preparing a cup of coffee for herself. The telephone began ringing…she looked at the clock above her, this must be Ryan. It was around a 3 hour flight from Mumbai to Doha and she did tell him to call once he reached. She ran along the long corridor to pick up the ringing phone, she spoke into the phone…

around the same time in-flight

(in the airplane) “I have been flying forever, is this flight ever going to land”? he mutters to himself, looking outside the tiny airplane window…”clouds….clouds and more clouds”. The announcement he was waiting for finally came “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to begin our final descent to the Qatar International Airport. Currently at Doha the weather is 25 degrees Celsius … We have certainly enjoyed having you on board today, we hope to see you again real soon, and thanks again for flying Qatar Airways” While he waited patiently around the conveyor belt for his baggage, it was always a thrill…more of a challenge for Ryan to spot his bags out of the hundreds that come out…it was like a test on how long he could concentrate and pick up the right bag among others which looked very similar to his.It took sometime that he pulled out his suitcase and 2 bags out from the conveyor belt and onto his trolley…heading straight for the pay phones on the other side of the airport…he remembered that Lorrie had told him to call as soon as he reached Doha airport. He rolled his trolley over to the pay phones and dialed India…the phone kept on ringing, as he was about to disconnect Lorrie picked up…”Hi baby” he said

Very excitedly she said ‘Hello? Hello Ryan? … Hello Ryan? Ryaaaa but she said no more because the long sharp knife had pierced her heart. Then it came out of her body and got flung onto the floor. The man backed away and briskly went out the same door he came in, shutting it behind him. He hung up the receiver and a few seconds later kept it off the hook.

There was silence all around… it was murder! it was a day light murder

[theextraaamile-blog]

A Warm Welcome to All

Welcome to my small little world @ theextraaa..mile - now on Tumblr, having started my journey in blogging on WordPress. Tumblr will act as a shadow under my WordPress account.

I blog because I believe I have a lot of stuff to say and I can’t keep all of them to myself this platform gives me a chance to express and do something I love, which is writing.

Meeting different people from various places in India/abroad is another thing I love, blogging again helps me with that. There is no seriousness attached to my writing..it comes all, straight out from the heart and hence a lot of emotions attached to it.

I am just one tiny member of this huge blogging community, trying to carve my own little space I call the ‘theextraaa..mile’ which you are on…

So, here’s to blogging, meeting new people and keeping it simple. This blog is open and functional

Looking forward to your association on ‘theextraaa..mile’

– Savio Paes (Goa-INDIA)