The list received a makeover. There is no longer a second one. All is here, in one place.
I don't give permission to others to use my original ideas for their works (that includes any form of art). I also don't give permission for my work to be copied or translated into another language and posted somewhere else. This also applies to anything regarding an AI. You have been warned.
Requests are CLOSED! Please stop sending them to me, and respect me enough to understand how I'm unable to be doing anything outside my schedule right now!
Aegon II Targaryen
Helaena Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen
Daeron Targaryen
Rhaenyra Targaryen
Jacaerys Velaryon
Daemon Targaryen
Baela Targaryen
Otto Hightower
Gwayne Hightower
Alicent Hightower
Cregan Stark
Harwin Strong
Criston Cole
Jason Lannister
Tyland Lannister
Jason and Tyland Lannister - The Golden Court
Davos Blackwood
The List Of My ASOIAF Reader Inserts Works:
Oberyn Martell
Aerys II Targaryen
Rhaegar Targaryen
Daenerys Targaryen
Arthur Dayne
Robb Stark
Sansa Stark
Arya Stark
Jon Snow
Edmure Tully
Euron Greyjoy
Theon Greyjoy
Margaery Tyrell
Tywin Lannister
Cersei Lannister
Jaime Lannister
Tyrion Lannister
Robert Baratheon
Eddard Stark
Brandon Stark (The Wild Wolf)
Lyanna Stark
Roose Bolton
Ramsay Bolton
Jojen Reed
Petyr Baelish
Jaqen H'ghar
Sandor Clegane
Khal Drogo
Ser Bronn of the Blackwater
Beric Dondarrion
Styr the Thenn
Oswell Whent
Ser Duncan the Tall - A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
The List Of My F&B Reader Insert Works:
Aegon I Targaryen
Visenya Targaryen
Rhaenys Targaryen
Maegor I Targaryen
Torrhen Stark
Orys Baratheon
Aegon (The Uncrowned) Targaryen
Viserra Targaryen
Aegon III Targaryen
Aegon IV Targaryen
Daemon I Blackfyre
Aerion Targaryen (Brightflame)
Brynden Rivers
Original Targaryen Characters
Dune Crossover
The Truth About The Chosen Ones (my original book, a small introduction)
SW KOTOR fic(s): The Last Daughter Of Onderon (Book 1), Sons Of Dxun (Book 2)
summary: taboo dynamics lead to unhappy endings or to they? letโs find out how it works when youโre fucking your dadโs best friend on the low
pairing: rhysand x fem!reader
warnings: nsfw, dirty talk, power dynamics, dadโs best friend trope, age gap, maybe slightly manipulative
amaraโs note: guys im dying for older man rhysand oh my god, also hi it was ages ago i wrote a fic im coming out of retirement
dbf!Rhys who swears heโs not a pervert. Really, heโs not. Itโs just unavoidable to sneak a peek at your silly little outfits that barely cover anything. You dress like temptation, and heโs only a man. Right?
dbf!Rhys who adores the size difference between you. Who canโt stop thinking about how your arms barely fit around his torso when you hugged him, giggling about how long itโs been since you saw each other.
dbf!Rhys who knows youโre both lying through your teeth. Because it hasnโt been โso longโ, not when heโs been seeing you in secret since the day you left for college.
dbf!Rhys who sits beside you at family dinner, cool as ever. One tattooed hand casually resting under the table on your bare thigh while he talks to your dad about an upcoming fundraiser, his voice smooth, unreadable, like he isnโt slowly dragging his fingers up your leg.
dbf!Rhys who has absolutely no business being balls-deep inside you, who definitely has no business fucking harder and deeper when he hears your wrecked little whine, whispering that no guy could ever touch you the way he does. That youโre so in love with him it hurts.
dbf!Rhys who knows youโre stupidly in love with him. All wide eyes and soft sighs, looking at him like he hung the stars. He finds it sweet. A little brain-dead but completely addictive.
He knows exactly what happens when he talks to someone else. When he flashes that dazzling smile at another woman, just to watch the way your expression shifts.
You donโt and canโt say anything, not really. You just sit there, stewing, jealousy burning under your skin while pretending like your heart isnโt being fucking crushed.
And he loves it.
Loves that you get all worked up over him. Loves knowing youโd never say it out loud, but the thought of him touching someone else makes you murderous.
He never does touch others, of course. He only smiles, maybe flirts a little but never lets it go further. Because he knows exactly who he belongs to. And he knows youโll come crawling back, needing to be reminded of it too.
dbf!Rhys, whose god-given talent for talking dirty fixes anything.
You could be mad, pouty, worked up beyond belief. But a few words from that wicked mouth and suddenly everything feels okay again.
Now, youโd been with other men before. Heard your fair share of freaky, nasty shit. But nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to Rhysandโs foul mouth.
Heโs formulating new sentences, just mouthing of. He didnโt even have to touch you sometimes. One low whisper, one filthy promise, one groaned-out nickname and you were done for. And donโt let anyone hear it too, theyโd clutch their pearls and run into the light.
โTold you you couldnโt handle it,โ he murmurs, voice low and smug as he watches you writhe beneath him. โNot this dick, baby.โ
โfeel how deep i am inside? feel how good im fucking you? yeahโ shh, just take what you need, iโm all yours, just fuck me,โ His palm presses harder against your stomach, right over the bulge. His eyes flicker between your fucked-out face and where heโs buried so deep inside you.
dbf!Rhys who knows heโs never, ever letting a sweet thing like you go.
Not like youโre making it hard for him or anything. I mean, youโre the perfect little thing to have, trusting and so sweet. Just what he adores about you,
And of course heโs going to break the news to your dad about you. Nothing about that worries him. If your parents get enraged, they just donโt understand your love.
Rhysand will take care of you. Thatโs what heโs there for. Just lean on him. You donโt need anyone else. Especially not your friends or your family who keep telling you how wrong your dynamic is. Theyโre just jealous!
If they werenโt, theyโd want whatโs best for you.
Summary: When your boyfriend wonโt, his father will.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected piv. Age gap. Dad[dy] kink. Infidelity โ Reader cheats on her boyfriend with Joel. Pervy!Joel. Cocky!Joel. Subby!Reader. Finger-sucking. Spitplay. Joel c*ms on your tummy then fucks it back in.
Note: I was about to take a nap today, and this thought popped into my head. Couldnโt rest until I wrote it out LOL
Word count: 1.3k
The apple doesnโt fall too far from the tree, apparently.
At a staggering 6โ4, Jimmy Miller is the single tallest boy in your class; his father, Joel, is scarcely an inch taller. Both of them prefer to keep their hair cut pretty short. Their shoulders are broad, and their jaws have a square-ish setโJimmyโs chin and neck are dusted in the darkest black stubble imaginable, and Joelโs is all salt-and-pepper, thanks to the passage of nearly fifty years.
Jimmy plays football and lacrosse, and Joel runs the equivalent of a 5K on a daily basis, in addition to more strength training and core exercises than youโd think possible for a man even half his age. They both are able to boast physiques that are fit, taut, toned, and strong.
The only area where the elder Miller might have your boyfriend beat is in the way the tip of his cock can reach your cervixโand keep hitting it, repeatedly, in just the way you like it, to make you cum quicker than anything.
You shouldnโt have known what that felt like.
Your first instinct when Jimmy rolled off of you tonight and collapsed into the space beside you in bed should not have been to wait until he fell asleep and then sneak off silently to his fatherโs room. That was wrong of you.
This is borderline evil, what youโre doing with your hips in the heat and comfort of this oversized bed. Joel is smug.
He has a firm hold on your thighs watching you ride him.
โThatโs it,โ he drawls. He lifts his right hand and swiftly brings it down to smack the skin, and then he kneads. He nods, like this is something that he taught you to do. โUp anโ down, darlinโ. Give that pussy what she needs.โ
You really wish he wouldnโt say it like that.
Like you were in some way wanting. Deprived.
Like your boyfriendโhis sonโcouldnโt make you moan and whine in the same way youโre doing it right now, cunt split in two by Joelโs big, thick, throbbing cock and your juices leaking out all over his belly. Jimmyโd been inside you, too, no more than twenty, twenty-five minutes prior, so Joel clearly wasnโt the only one responsible for this mess. He just helped finish it.
โI love him, Mr. Miller. IโIโI really do,โ you whimper. With one shaky set of fingers, you squeeze your breast, and you feel a web of pleasure blossom down from your chest to the wet, greedy hole where you have him deep.
โโMโsure you do.โ Joel grins. โGonna get hitched, buy a nice, big house, and have a boatload of kids? Is that it?โ
โThatโs what itโs gonna be.โ
You bite your lip staring down at him, bracing your free hand on that broad, hairy chest, and then you nod your head, as if to convince yourself of what you just told him.
Then Joel flips you both.
He folds you in half, so your knees are pressed up against your chest and your feet are poised in the air, pointed to him. Joel hums, and he keeps on fucking you, not seeming to take issue with how loud the sounds of your cunt sucking him in happen to be. If anything, he likes it.
Your walls clench around him for what feels like the fiftieth time, and you writhe underneath him. You moan.
โGonna leave this dick alone, too? Once youโre married, I mean.โ Joelโs tone is teasing. Itโs steeped in incredulity, as well as the experience of being decades your senior.
โY-Yes,โ you stutter.
โOh, sweetheart,โ he simpers.
Then he pulls a long, sad face like this is the worst news that heโs heard all day, and he leans forward until his chest is flush with the backs of your legs and his cock is driven in to the hilt. He cups your face with his big hands.
โIโm gonna miss this pussy,โ he says. Sighing. โBad.โ
โDaddy.โ
You canโt help but say it when one hand drifts down and starts to toy with your nipple, and the thrusts keep coming in. The bed shakes with every stroke, and you can tell that youโre close to coming apart at any second.
Joel slides the touch that was cupping your cheek to stuff fingers in your mouth. He makes sure that itโll stifle your criesโhe knows you like to scream when you cum, and though he normally loves to hear it, along with all the noises your pussy makes getting stuffed, tonight heโd rather not have to fight his son. He fucks you harder.
He smiles.
โSo when itโs late at nightโโ Another thrust. Another short, sharp intake of breath as you bite him and whine. โโand my son gets whatโs his and leaves you needyโโ
You bare your teeth and practically keen as Joel fucks you so deep that you can feel him in your lungs. His length drags in and out, in and out, until the imprint of every vein must be seared into your wet, velvety walls.
โMr. Miller,โ you moan, words garbled.
Joel shoves those fingers even further in your mouth at the same time he bottoms out inside your cunt, and both orifices leak with moisture. He licks the spit trickling out at either side of your lips, the old, sick bastard that he is, and you feel that silver-flecked beard tickle your chin. You can sense a little twitch in his cock from root to tip.
Your eyes roll, and your toes curl tight, the same as theyโve done for him the last three nights in a row.
No, this isnโt Jimmy.
Try as you might to pretend that it is, it justโ
โโainโt enough for ya, is it?โ Joel must read your mind. โJimmy ainโt doinโ ya like this, anโ he never fuckinโ will.โ
The fingers slide out. They cup your chin hard instead.
โMr. Miller, Iโm gonnaโฆโ Your eyelids flutter back open.
Itโs happening again. Your boyfriendโs father is balls deep, pounding you relentlessly into his bed, and your legs are pressed to either side of his neck, taking him in.
โNeed a real man to make you cum, huh?โ
You look up at him, eyes wide.
Between your thighs, your cunt is as stretched and sore and washed in a deep, heady pleasure as itโs ever been.
Then, youโre about to peak.
Frantically, you nod your head.
โYes, yes, yesโMr. Miller, make me cum.โ
Joel beams. โGonna let me fuck it in her, too?โ
โPlease.โ
And he does.
Well, in Joel Millerโs own, particular way, he gets it insideโyou cum around his cock, bliss rolling and pulsing and squeezing in time, and he lets you milk him all through it. Your walls constrict, pushing him right over the edge. Then he pulls out. Jerks his cock furiously. Lets his sticky-white spend paint your belly in the thickest, warmest ropes, until heโs completely spent. Then, no doubt thanks to the help of a Cialis or a Viagra taken earlier that night, your middle-aged man is able to stay hard for a good while longer. Keep his hypersensitized shaft in play just to make sure that he can stuff you full.
Unlike his son, Joel doesnโt do rubbers.
Unlike his son, Joel loves to play fast and loose with the term โpulling out,โ and when he unloads his seed all over your stomach, he makes sure that he fucks it all back in.
So, holding his still-pulsing dick by the base, Joel swipes it over where he came. Smears the stuff messily. Then, with jizz sticking to the tip and all down its length, practically soaking the whole underside of his shaft, he angles it down. He meets your gaze and slides it back in.
He pulls out, takes a little more, and pushes in again.
And again.
And again.
Eyes never leaving your own, smile growing on his lips, hips pistoning back and forth, gently, and a bevy of obscene thoughts no doubt filling his head, Joel leans in. He doesnโt stop until his nose is hovering less than an inch from yours, and then his hands slide to your thighs.
He sinks in.
He grins.
โThink my son will mind if I fuck you one more time?โ
SYN. a guide for idiots who are pining after someone who wishes not to be pined.
CW. fem!reader. she/her. angst. arguments, harsh words being thrown. pining after the wrong person. azriel calls reader princess as an insult. mention of being fwb and other things. based off of the bonus scenes between azriel and elain, the aftermath. mentions of sexual intimacy implied etc. minors dni. 2.1k words. not edited or revised.
NOTE. a tiktok inspired me and i definitely have not been re-reading acotar off and on to feel something. perhaps i will format part two idk yet ! See my other Azriel series here (ongoing)
PART TWO
You look up from the book you had been reading, the light flickering as Azriel slipped through the door in a quick motion. You furrow your brows, bookmarking the page, setting it down on your lap.
It didnโt take you long to leave the area you were watching Azriel from. Returning back to his room before he took notice of your presence. Not that he would, he was busy spending his time with Elain.
He looks over at you, taking note of the way you sat comfortably in the large bed, book in your lap. You hadnโt moved at all not for him to catch notice, his mind was elsewhere.
โEverything okay?โ You ask him, pulling the covers up over yourself. The book long forgotten now by your side.
His back was turned towards you, his wings were tense and they didnโt curl out as they normally would in your presence. โCan you sleep in your room tonight?โ
You swallowed. When was the last time he kicked you out of his room? You look at him, lifting the covers off of yourself slowly. Acting as if the man was going to change his mind but itโs Azrielโthe man never changes his mind on something set.
Making your way to the door, you kept your gaze forward, disappointment written all over your face. โTake the book with you.โ
Your groan of annoyance fills the room, turning on your heel to make your way back towards the bed. You make sure to slap the cover of the leather bound book, watching Azrielโs jaw tick in aggravation. โI donโt know why youโre kicking me out.โ You mumbled under your breath.
It was a tradition. You two always shared the Winter Solstice together. Spending time together staying up, reading, going over the gifts you were given. It was a simple thing you enjoyed when you were in his presence.
โAnother time. Just not tonight.โ He turns his head over his shoulder, looking you over once more. He squinted at your posture, it was tense almost as if you were hiding something.
You left before he could ask you what was on your mind. Walking across the hall, making sure not to step on certain boards that would wake the whole house. You didnโt sleep that night, tossing and turning as you tried to forget the way Azriel looked at Elain with such tender. A tender look he wouldnโt dare use on you.
But who were you kidding? You were just Rhysands baby sister who had no right to mingle with the shadowsinger. You should have taken your older brother's word when he told you to stay away from Azriel but youโre a foolish woman.
You werenโt really sure how you started to gain feelings for Azriel. It wasnโt something that happened over night, it was something that took years, centuries almost. Always afraid of the outcome of your consequences but you didnโt care as long as you were in his arms.
A mutual agreement. A situation where he only craved your touch and your scent. You occupied his bed every night whether he was seeking a need to fulfill or a friend. You were there, ready to give it your best. Give it your all to at least win his heart over but you knew it wasnโt that simple.
You couldnโt remember how many nights you wished a mating bond would snap so perfectly in place like a missing piece from a puzzle but it never came. You knew to never get your hopes up, to never wish upon a fallen star and hope youโd finally have the only person youโve been waiting for.
You had skipped breakfast, not being able to even sit at the large dinner table and stare at everyone. You werenโt a fan of small talk and you werenโt a fan of knowing something you werenโt supposed to know. You blocked anyone out from entering that angry head of yours, knowing it was a big breakfast before the grand snowball fight and surely your missed presence was noted.
โYou skipped breakfast.โ Azriel appears once the wind settles against your skin. Your face starts to scrunch up in annoyance as he blocks out the little sun that was left for you.
โIโm self evaluating,โ you wave your hand in the air, but he didnโt get the hint. He didnโt care. He stepped closer towards you, drawing his knee into your back, he pressed a bit but you didnโt budge. You werenโt above to give into his antics. โAzriel. Move.โ
He pressed harder, just a pinch, enough to where you leaned. โYou skipped breakfast.โ He repeats, leaning down to flick your ear.
You shove his hand away, rubbing your ear in an annoyed grumble. โWasnโt hungry,โ you shrug, shoving his knee off. You fix your posture and sigh in relief. โBesides, it's always the same at breakfast.โ
โWe always attend breakfast afterโโ
โYeah. Yeah. Well I wasnโt hungry, okay?โ You donโt spare him a glance, giving him a cold shoulder.
He scoffs, taking a seat next to you on the cushion. His shadows sweetly sung into his ear as they tried to figure out what was wrong with you. โI was waiting for you so I could give you my pancakes as tradition.โ
โI just wasnโt hungry, Az. I had a fruit salad before everyone was awake.โ You show him the bowl next to you that had been scraped clean.
He studies your face, his fingers wrapping around your arm and in seconds you are in a different room. His room.
โAre you mad at me for kicking you out last night?โ He asked you, shuffling off his boots. You raise a brow, confused as to where this was going.
โNo.โ
He chuckled, a tight lipped grin on his face. โThatโs what someone in denial would say.โ He mutters, stepping closer towards you.
You cross your arms over your chest, looking the other way. You werenโt going to let him win. This would be a low blow for you. You werenโt easy. โIโm not mad you kicked me out. We always spend Solstice together. I just figured you were going out.โ
He clicks his tongue, the shadows whispering in his ears as he relaxes his wings. โElain and I had a moment.โ He blurts out, unable to control his mouth and the thoughts running through his head.
To Azriel it felt like a confession. Almost as if he was admitting infidelity to his lover, who promised each other to never seek the comforts of someone elseโs warmth. He couldnโt keep what he had done a secret and how he fantasized that he wished you were Elain. It was time for him to come clean, to end this game of cat and mouse between the two of you.
You blink, acting surprised. You didnโt want to give it away. Fuck. You didnโt want to throw him under the bus with what you had seen. You merely blinked again. Unable to say something. He took it as a sign to continue. โWe had a moment alone when everyone was asleep. She wanted to give me her gift in private and I acted with the intention of needing her.โ He admits, drawing back away from you. Ready for the anger to emit from you.
You look down at your fingernails, the polish cracked and ready to be repainted. You werenโt sure what hurt worse: the betrayal of his mind or the way he looked at you as if you were someone else. โDid you kiss her?โ
You knew the answer. He almost did. He was so close and Elain was ready for it. It made your stomach churn, her poor mate.
โNo. Rhys stopped me before I could,โ he sighs, looking away from you and out the window. The snow had just started up again. He had to be getting ready for the snowball fight not having this conversation with you beforehand. So much for kicking Cassian's ass this time. โI think we should stop this thing between us.โ
Your eye twitches at the new topic. A distraction from what he had done. He wanted to downplay his action. You scoff, shaking your head. โYou go around trying to kiss mated females, now?โ You bite out, a disgusted look on your face.
Take the bait Azrielโtake the fucking bait so this doesnโt hurt as much as it needs to be.
The shadows disappear at the sound of your voice. Azriel looks at you finally, eyes narrowed. โShe isnโt deserving to be Lucienโs mate. You know this.โ
โDonโt you rope me into your ideas of knowing what Elain wants and needs. You do not know her. You do not understand that she was forced to be created. The cauldron gave her a mate that wasnโt you and that doesnโt give you the reason to tempt her with your sexual desires of wanting her.โ You plainly say, trying to keep your anger buried down. You werenโt sure where this would go but you knew it would sever the nonexistent bond between the two of you.
He huffs at your response. โSpeaking just like your brother.โ
โBecause I know what is right and wrongโโ
Azriel turns to face you, stepping towards you in a flash. โDo you?โ He snarled in your face, causing you to grow wide eyed. โBecause it looks to me the princess hadnโt gotten what she wanted and went after the only thing that was forbidden to chase.โ
โHypocrite.โ You hiss, shoving him away from you as you get up from the spot on his bed.
โWe arenโt done here.โ
You ignore him. Heading for the door with an annoyed look on your face.
He says your name that would have worked on you in the past but you didnโt budge. Your hand on the knob. He says it again, this time softer and vulnerable.
You clench your jaw, shaking your head looking down at the way your hand gripped the door knob. He comes up behind you, his fingers traveling up the back of your arm. A sweet touch that wasnโt meant for you, not anymore.
โWe canโt end it like this. Angry at each other. Weโve danced on broken glass for centuries,โ he murmurs before whispering your name into your ear. He turns you around, his scarred fingers tracing your jaw. โI just canโt stop thinking about her.โ He sighs, his hand dropping around your throat in a soft hold as he leans his head on your shoulder in defeat.
You close your eyes, sighing in disbelief. You wanted to be greedy but Azriel was your friend. Past the feelings you harbored for him, he was your friend and he trusted you. You stroke the ends of his hair, trying to distract yourself from the detachment you had to start soon.
โYou shouldnโt even be thinking of her,โ you mumble, your hands now at your sides. He lightly squeezes your throat, not enough to startle you but it was enough to make sure you didnโt press the topic any further. โAzriel, Iโm saying this as a friend. As your friend.โ
โWhat if Rhysand is wrong? What ifโโ
You shush him. Flicking his shoulder with a stern look on your face. โThat is your high lord, Az. Defying him will cost you your life. If you even think about disobeying his word you know the consequences.โ
He says your name before signing. โDo you think I would have a chance?โ
You snorted. โBe practical. By the mother, you seriously need to find another female to lust over. A female that isnโt mated by chance.โ
His hand glides down your chest and back up towards your lips. No matter what he said, he always loved the way your lips were shaped. Perfect and delicate just for him but they werenโt hers. He didnโt care that it wasnโt fair he was putting you through these emotions. His eyes flicker down to meet yours, his thumb tracing over your parted lips. โI already have one I lust over,โ he whispers, his breath fanning your face. You needed to breathe. To step away from him. โBut you,โ he pauses, your name falling off of his lips in a seductive whisper. โYou have been molded into what I want, you fill my needs. Tainting you with my imperfections is no problem but you arenโt her. I canโt break her. Sheโs too delicate.โ
Your heart hammered into your chest, the wound that had been open for centuries had just started to burn deep inside of you. An insultโan insult that you would never recover from. You swallow, lips quivering as your hand twisted the door knob.
You donโt spare him a glance, tears closing your vision as you rush down the stairs bumping into Cassian at the end of the stairs. You ignored the hiss of pain and the curse words flying from his mouth as you winnowed your way out of the house.
Anything to get rid of the hole in your heart.
Anything to get Azrielโs words out of your head.
summary: On a rare night alone in the House of Wind, the worst storm in decades strikes. It wouldnโt be a problem if they didnโt make you so uneasy. Luckily, the House isnโt as empty as you thought.
word count: 11.7k
content: [ explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), piv, explicit language, there's only one sleeping bag, y/n is scared of storms, very briefly insinuated tamlin x reader, daemati-use, wet dreams, lovemaking for the most part but we get rough for a sec ]
author's note: weโre gonna assume mental shields stay up during sleepโฆ. yeah...
โฆ . 1k Celebration Apothecary . โฆ
midnight essence
infused with a veil of dreammist & a dash of blaze
enhanced with lover's knot & starlight crystals
stirred
thank you anon for the request!!!! i'm finding i really enjoy writing friends to lovers this is so sweet :") anyway i hope you like this one!! <33
The cold in the Winter Court didnโt seep into your bonesโit gnawed at them. Gnawed like it had teeth and purpose and the unrelenting patience of a predator that knew youโd wear down eventually.
Youโd stopped pretending to sleep an hour ago, after the lantern blew out. The wind outside the tent moaned like a creature in mourning, threading through the seams and catching in the corners of the thin canvas until it felt like the whole thing might lift and carry you off with it. You pressed deeper into the bundled cloak beneath you, trying not to shiver too obviously. You failed.
You were wrapped in more layers than you could countโthermal base, thick wool, a coat heavy enough to double as a blanketโbut it still wasnโt enough. Even Rhys, normally indifferent to climate or discomfort, had resorted to cloaks and furs, the sharp line of his jaw the only part of him visible from beneath the hood pulled low.ย
Behind you, Rhysand exhaled, sharp and irritated. โYouโre shaking so hard I can feel it through the ground.โ
You didnโt open your eyes. โYou always this broody when youโre forced to keep all that power on a leash?โ
A beat. ThenโโKeep talking and Iโll show you how not broody I can be.โ
You snorted, cracking open one eye. โThat doesnโt even mean anything.โ
โIโm cold. Iโm tired. I havenโt let my magic out at all in twelve days. Give me a break.โ
You finally rolled over to face him, the dim moonlight filtering through the tentโs fabric casting his features in pale blue and silver. There was a tension around his mouth, in the fine line between his brows. He hadnโt looked truly relaxed since your boots first crunched through the snow at the border.ย
The artifactโknown only in whispers as the amulet of Larethineโwas said to suppress magic so completely that even a High Lordโs power would snuff out like a candle. Rumored to have vanished after the war centuries ago, it resurfaced in scattered reports. They all pointed to the same abandoned temple buried somewhere in the Winter Courtโs northern edge, where the snowfall was so constant it blanketed even sound. Rhysand intended to retrieve it quietlyโbefore word spread and the wrong hands reached it first. So here you were. Nearly two weeks with no magic, no contact, no help. Just the two of you, and a map worn soft at the creases.
Rhysandโs power coiled beneath his skin like a thing alive, begging to be freed. But Kalliasโ wards draped over the court like a net of ice, intricate and merciless. The second he even brushed the world with a tendril of it, youโd be caught.
You hadnโt expected it to wear on him like this.ย
โYour pack,โ he said after a pause. โStill soaked?โ
You winced, remembering the misstep near the creek a few days ago, then nodded. He shifted. โCome here.โ
You blinked. โWhat?โ
โYour pack, and everything in itโincluding your sleeping bagโis useless. It wonโt dry in this weather. Either we share mine or I watch you freeze to death. I vote the former.โ
You hesitated, the silence between you swelling into something tight and uncertain. But then another gust of wind screamed past the tent, and pride gave way to practicality.ย
โFine.โ
You crawled across the narrow space and slipped into the sleeping bag beside him. It was crampedโpainfully soโand the moment you settled, his body pressed to yours, impossibly warm. You turned onto your side instinctively, back to his chest. You could feel every breath he took, feel the slow thump of his heart against your spine, the barest hint of muscle shifting when his hand curved around your middle, settling just beneath the edge of your ribs, his palm held steady against you.
Behind you, something rustled, and then the faint brush of membraneโRhys shifting, one wing sliding from the sleeping bag in a slow stretch over you.ย
โDonโt you dare,โ you whispered. โThat thing freezes and falls off, weโre really fucked.โ
He snorted quietly. โIt has excellent circulation, thanks.โ
โPut it away.โ
Another rustle of fabric as he tucked the wing back inside.
โWarmer now?โ he said dryly.ย
โMm.โ
The silence this time wasnโt uncomfortable. You listened to the wind, to the soft crinkle of fabric with each small movement, to the quiet hum of his presence behind you. It was startling, how much space he took up without speaking, how much lighter the silence felt now that he was pressed against you.ย
His breath stirred at the hair at your nape. You tensed, then forced yourself to relax again, inching away a fraction. He followed.ย
โRhys.โ
โWhat.โ
โYouโre breathing on my neck.โ
A pause. Then, shamelessly: โItโs where your neck is.โ
You huffed, and he chuckledโa rare sound lately. Low and warm, it rolled through your back where your bodies touched, and you had to fight not to smile.ย
After a long moment, his voice came again, quieter.ย
โWeโll find it tomorrow.โ
You gave a small nod, felt more than seen.
He shifted behind you, the subtle movement bringing his chest closer to your back, breath skimming your hair. โThen we get out. We go home.โ
You let out a quiet breath, just enough to fog the air in front of you.
โYou always this optimistic at night?โ
He hummed low in his throat. โMaybe you bring it out in me.โ
That pulled a small, tired smile from you.
โMust be the frostbite. Youโre delirious.โ
His fingers flexed slightly where they rested at your waist.
โMm. That, or the cold makes me honest.โ
Something in your chest achedโnot sharp, but deep. You didnโt answer. Just let the silence settle soft around you.
Sleep found you curled into his warmth, his hand resting at your waist, his breath a gentle rhythm against your skin. And in the morning, with the air sharp in your lungs and the scent of pine still clinging to the chill, that warmth lingered over your skin.
The cold in the Winter Court hadnโt gone with the morning light. Youโd found Larethine two days after thatโtucked beneath the roots of an ancient ice-locked tree, a whisper of power veined through crystal. The mission had ended days later in a quiet exhale, a long journey home trailing behind it. It had been nearly three weeks since then. Long enough for bruises to fade, for muscle to stop aching.
Still, the cold seemed to have burrowed itself into your bones, the bite of it still there, even in the warmth of your bed in the City of Starlight.ย
You woke to the sound of wind clawing at the windows. A storm, full and furious, had settled over Velarisโthe kind that turned the Sidra restless and made even the stars hide. Thunder cracked a beat later, loud enough to shake the walls.
Your heart was already racing, breath shallow and tight, at odds with the warmth wrapped around you. You lay there a moment, still and listening, the storm rattling through your bones like it had teeth again. Theyโd always scraped at your nerves, left them humming like struck strings.ย
The covers were a tangled mess around your hips, shoved down in sleep. Your T-shirt had ridden up high, bunched beneath your ribs, and when you looked down, you caught a glimpse of bare stomach, underwear, the slope of one thigh kicked over the sheets. You shifted, tugged the hem back down, fingers moving slow and clumsy like they werenโt entirely yours.
You remembered bits and pieces of the dream, not that itโd been much different from the others youโd had since that night. Tonight, he hadnโt been content just to hold you. His hands wandered. His mouth dragged slowly over your skin, coaxing sounds youโd never let slip in daylight. You woke slick between your thighs, the ache lodged deep and stubborn.ย
Another crash of thunder rolled across the rooftops. You pushed the blankets off and swung your legs over the side of the bed. The house was magicked to stay warm; your skin was slick with sweat, and still, you felt chilled.ย
You didnโt think about it. Didnโt bother with pants or slippers. Just padded into the hall in your T-shirtโsoft, worn thin, hem brushing mid-thigh and swaying with every step.
The storm pressed against the glass. The quiet inside felt louder for it.
You moved through it automatically, headed for the kitchen. The house was still, shadows long and familiar, but your mind had already drifted somewhere elseโsomewhere colder.
You hadnโt stopped thinking about that night. Maybe youโd tried to. Maybe youโd told yourself it hadnโt meant anything. But your body remembered. Before your thoughts could catch up, your body rememberedโhis warmth at your back, the weight of his hand at your waist, the breath at your neck.
That same tension had curled beneath your skin now. You hadnโt realized you missed it until it came back.
The air had gone heavy the moment he touched you, and you hadnโt breathed properly since. You hated how your body still reactedโlike it didnโt care what your mind had decided. Like it knew better.
Maybe it did.
You reached the stairs and took them without thought, one hand trailing the banister. The house didnโt creak beneath you. Even your own footsteps felt hesitant, like they didnโt want to disturb the memory.
Youโd spent weeks pretending it hadnโt changed anything. That you were still the same. That he was.
You stepped into the kitchen without turning on the faelights. The storm outside pressed at the windows, a steady beat of rainโor maybe snowโsmeared against the glass in streaks. Slush, probably.
You moved on instinct, pulled the kettle from its place, filled it from the tap. The cool weight of it settled in your hands, groundingโbut not enough.
You set it on the stove and twisted the knob, a faint click giving way to the low hum of magic-warmed coils. Still, your thoughts refused to quiet.
Youโd been telling yourself you hadnโt wanted it. That it had just happened. But you remembered leaning into him. You remembered the way your body had reactedโeager, instinctual, like youโd been waiting for it.ย
You reached for a mug without looking, fingers curling around the ceramic absently. It was warm from the cupboardโs enchantment, but your skin still felt cold.
You exhaled slowly and leaned your hip against the counter, staring at nothing.
And while the kettle began to warm, your thoughts slippedโquiet and treacherousโback to the tent. But your mind didnโt pull up the truth of that night. Not the soft hush of breath, the shared warmth, the way youโd both kept to yourselves despite how closely you lay. What you remembered insteadโwhat you feltโwas the dream youโd had in his arms. The one you hadnโt dared to admit to anyone.ย
You remembered the weight of his hand curling around your hipโbroad, sure fingers splaying possessively across your skin like heโd always known exactly where to touch you. His thumb pressing just beneath your navel, slow little circles that made your breath catch. His chest, solid and hot, flush against your spine. Each inhale of his drawing your body tighter to his, like he wanted to fit you perfectly between every breath. Like he couldnโt stand the space between you.
And gods, youโd imagined how heโd move. Heโd start slow, savoring it. Savoring you, every thrust controlled. Heโd want to melt into you, to lose himself in every slick, shivering inch. And the press of him felt so real in your mind that your thighs pressed together without you meaning to.
The slow, deliberate roll of his hips against you, grinding in the dark with maddening restraint. Like he wanted to drag it out. Like he wanted to feel it, not just fuck.ย
But it wasnโt like you didnโt have dreams about that, too.
Like the one youโd just awoken from.
Where he wasnโt slow at all. Where heโd pushed you against the window, dragged your panties down with a growl, and dropped to his knees. He devoured you like a male starved. Like he needed it to breathe.
His tongue was relentless, slick and firm, fucking you with slow, torturous precision until your hand flew to your mouth to muffle the cries threatening to tear from your throat.ย
And just when your body began to shake, just when you thought youโd collapseโhe was rising, lifting you like you weighed nothing, and sinking into you with one long, ruinous thrust that stole every breath from your lungs.
His voice rasped against your ear, all filth and hunger, whispering what heโd do next, what youโd beg for, how good you look, all wet and wanting and his. Every stroke dragged need from you like a confession, torn from your throat in gasps, in whimpers. Every thrust was a claim, a promise, a demand. You shattered on his cock like youโd been made for itโagain, and again, and againโuntil your body blurred at the edges and all you could feel was him.
And thenโyour name. A low murmur against your throat, reverent and rough at once, like it scraped its way out of him. Like it meant something. Like saying it against your skin was the only prayer he knew.
Almost a whisper. Almost a plea.
Almostโ
Lightning split the skyโand thunder followed like a war drum, slamming through the silence hard enough to rattle the windows.ย
You flinched, heart in your throat, the mug slipping and knocking against the counter. Goosebumps bloomed across your skin as the thunder faded, but it wasnโt the cold tiles beneath your feet that made your hands shake.
Wasnโt the storm making your chest rise and fall just so.
It was the echo of your name, murmured into your neck.
The ache in your body for something that had never even happenedโ
But felt, somehow, like it had.
Your breath came fast and shallow, heat rushing to your cheeks in a flush you couldnโt chase away.
Your heart was still hammering whenโ
โCouldnโt sleep either?โ
You jumped. The kettle screamedโwhen had it even started? The mug nearly slipped again, and you cursed under your breath, scrambling to keep hold of it.ย
A flush of panic surged alongside the remnants of arousalโ
Glamour. Now.
Your scent vanished in an instant.
You rushed to take the kettle off the burner.
Shieldsโalready up, and you triple-checked them. Reinforced them out of instinct, out of panic. Just in case.
Rhysand stood in the doorway, framed by the faint flicker of lightning beyond the windows.ย
Shirtless, his chest bare and skin golden in the dim light from the hall. Pajama pants slung low on his hips. Hair mussed, like heโd just gotten out of bedโlike heโd just been dreaming too.
Your stomach flipped.
You couldnโt even bring yourself to look at himโnot after what youโd been thinking, not with your skin still warm from it.ย
โIโm so sorry,โ you blurted, the words tumbling out in a rush. โI didnโt mean to wake you, I didnโt realize it was whistlingโgods, Iโllโโ
โYou didnโt,โ he said, voice low and even. โIt was the storm. Youโre fine.โ
But something in his toneโthe careful way he said itโmade it feel likeย he was only trying to spare you.
You glanced down at the mug in your hand like it might save you. โRight. Okay. Still. Sorry.โ
He didnโt move at first. Just watched you, eyes unreadable in the dark.ย
Then, quietly: โStorm wake you too?โ
โYeah,โ you murmured. โThought tea might help.โ
A flicker of a smile touched his mouthโbarely there. โYou always brew it with wide eyes and shaking hands?โ he asked as he stepped closer, brushing your fingers when he took the mug from your grasp.ย
You huffed a soft laugh. โOnly when the thunder sounds like itโs about to rip the sky open.โ
That earned a quiet breath of amusement from him as he slid an arm around your shoulders. Solid. Familiar. Like it belonged there.ย
โYou know itโs mostly just noise, right?โ he murmured. Rhys topped off the water in your mug, grabbed two teabags from the tin, and dropped them into the mug. His arm remained looped around your shoulders, holding you close as he covered the cup with a saucer to let it steep. โSounds a lot worse than it is.โ
You nodded, but your thoughts felt foggy and slow. Maybe it was the storm, or the hour, or the way he still hadnโt let go. The way his arm fit around you so naturally, as if it belonged there. As if it had never left since that night.ย
You shouldnโt read into it. Itโs just comfort. Just instinct.ย
But you canโt stop noticing the warmth of him, steady and close. Canโt stop thinking about how easily heโs always known how to settle youโhow natural it feels to lean into him like this.
Your lips press together, and you try not to think about how that same warmth once curled around you in a tent, or what it felt like to wake up in his arms.
His arm shifted, sliding from your shoulders to the small of your back, hand warm and steady as it pressed there. โCโmon,โ he said softly, guiding you away from the counter and toward the little breakfast table near the window. He handed you your mug on the way, his fingers brushing yours again.ย
You moved without thinking, still wrapped in that dazed hush the storm had settled over everything. You sank into the chair without a word, and with a quiet flick of his fingers, the table filled. A crystal bowl of sugar cubes appeared near your elbow, followed by a small pitcher of warm milk, and even a tiny plate of shortbread cookies that hadnโt been there before.ย
โThank you,โ you murmured, the words quiet and full. Rhysand only nodded, moving back to the kettle to make his own.
After some time, you removed the saucer and took a careful sipโstill too hotโbefore setting the mug down. Instead, you watched the steam curling lazily upward, trying not to let your gaze wander to where he stood by the counter. The stretch of muscle across his back. The ink winding over golden skin. The slow flex of his wings as he moved.ย
Then, lightly, โCassian tried to give Azriel a haircut today.โ
Your brows lifted. โHe didnโt.โ
Rhysandโs mouth curved faintly, though the only indication of his humor from where you sat was the soft shake of his shoulders. โHe did. Said he could โblend the endsโ better than the hairdressers at the Riverfront salon.โ He turned slightly toward you, the kettle behind him just starting to bubble.ย ย
You snort. โThatโs because Cassian thinks โblendingโ means cutting in a straight line.โ
โExactly,โ Rhys said dryly, just as your fingers reached outโwithout lookingโtoward the honey jar at the far end of the counter.
His own hand twitched, summoning it with a flick of magic, smooth as breathing.
โHe nearly took a chunk out of one of his wings,โ he added, the jar gliding toward you in the same breath.
You caught it mid-air and spooned in a little honey, not missing a beat. โAzriel let him?โ
โHe didnโt know,โ Rhys replied, pouring his own mug. He added the tea bags, covered it with a saucer, and took the seat across from you. โHe thought Cassian was just trimming his own hair. Came back from the bath and Cassian had scissors and that look in his eyes.โ
You stirred slowly, keeping your eyes on the swirl of tea. โIโm shocked he survived.โ Whether you meant Cassian or Azriel didnโt matter; the sentiment applied to both.ย
โMor told him if he even looked at her hair with a pair of scissors in his hands, sheโd skin him.โ
You smiled faintly. โWise.โ
Rhysโ lip twitched a little. โI thought so.โ
The silence that followed was the kind that didnโt need filling. You let it stretch, let it settle into your bones like warmth. Outside, the thunder seemed to soften, like it, too, was growing tired.ย
After some time, Rhys lifted his mug, nose wrinkling slightly as he brought it to his lips.ย
โLavender?โ he asked, skepticism coloring the word.ย
You glanced up at him over the rim of your own cup. โItโs calming.โ
He took a sip anyway, then made a quiet sound like he was trying not to grimace.
ย โIt tastes like wet flowers.โ
You gave him a look. โYouโre still drinking it.โ
โOut of solidarity.โ He gave a theatrical sigh, settling the mug down like it had personally offended him. โSuffering beside you. As always.โ
That pulled a soft laugh from youโsmall, but genuine, slipping out before you could catch it. The first moment of true ease youโd felt since youโd woken up. Rhysand didnโt say anything, just watched you with that quiet attention he wore too well, the corners of his mouth tilting upward like it pleased him to see it.ย
You let the silence stretch. โI didnโt know you were staying the night,โ you said, still not quite looking at him.
โDidnโt mean to, โ he said, leaning back in his chair. โHad a few things to check in on here. Then the storm hit, andโฆโ He shrugged one shoulder, casual, but not careless. โDidnโt want you riding it out alone.โ
The stupid little flip your stomach did was entirely unhelpful. You took a slow sip of tea to ignore it.ย
The quiet settled again, a little softer now. Gentler.ย
Then Rhysโ voice came, quiet and rough at the edges.
โYou always pace around in shirts that short when youโve got the place to yourself?โ
You spluttered mid-sip, barely managing to swallow without choking. Then shot him a withering glare over the rim of your mug.
He was smirking now, the picture of smug innocence. โItโs cute,โ he added. โCozy. Terrifying, really.โ
โKeep talking and Iโll convince the House to trap you in the bathroom with no toilet paper.โ
โYou wonโt,โ he said confidently, that lazy grin still tugging at his mouth. โYouโre too tired. And besidesโโ he leans in just slightly, your eyes flicking up to meet his despite yourselfโโyouโd miss me if I left.โ
You flinched as a particularly loud boom of thunder cracked. The windows trembled in their panes, wind howling against the glass. The faelights dimmed briefly, a flicker like the storm had drawn a breath too deep.ย
โYou should lie down,โ he said quietly.
โIโm fine.โ
โYouโre wired.โ His eyes flicked to the goosebumps on your arms. โAnd freezing. Come on.โ He rose, tea still in hand. โIโll stay with you. Weโll wait it out together.โ
You hesitated. โ... You donโt have to.โ
โI want to.โ The words were light, but not careless. โAt least let me for a bit. You can talk at me until the storm passes.โ
And the way he said itโcasual, easy, like it cost him nothing to offer his presenceโundid you more than it should have.ย
You didnโt answer right away. Just took another sip, hoping the warmth would quiet your pulse.ย
He let his words sit for a beat before offering, with a spark of levity, โIโll stay on my side. Promise.โ
โYou donโt have a side.โย
โIโll make one.โ
You narrowed your eyes as you considered him, gaze trailing from the smug tilt of his mouth to the glint in his eyes. โFine. But no funny business.โ
โDefine funny.โ
โIโm serious.โ
โSo am I.โ
You stood slowly, cradling your mug between your hands, and padded after him down the dim hallway. Neither of you said anything for a few moments, and you liked thatโliked the hush between your footfalls, the faint creak of old wood beneath your steps, the way Rhys kept his pace just a half step ahead of yours.ย
Then, without looking back, he said, โYouโve got more mugs than sense.โ
You glanced at him, deadpan. โTheyโre seasonal.โ
He lifted his, inspecting the faded gold lettering. โโI survived Calanmai in the Spring Court.โ Itโs nearly Solstice.โ
You took a long sip. โYear-round commemoration felt appropriate.โ
He snorted. โYou werenโt even in the Spring Court for Calanmai. We were in the Day Court dealing with that trade dispute, remember?โ
โSure, not this year.โ
You turned your mug just as he glanced back, hiding the side that read โI Got Picked at Calanmai and All I Got Was This Mug.โ
You shrugged. โYou donโt know me.โ
He stopped outside your door, wings tucking in as he leaned casually against the frame. You opened it without a word and stepped inside, flipping on the lamp. The room glowed in warm golds and shadows, the storm pressing faintly at the windows.
Rhysand followed a beat later, hands wrapped around his mug, gaze roaming the space like he hadnโt already seen it a hundred times before.
You crossed to the dresser and started absently clearing upโfolding the sweater draped over the chair, tucking a pair of socks into a drawer, shoving a bra beneath a pillow like it hadnโt been lying out all day.
โPlease,โ Rhys said behind you, voice drier than your tea. โAs if itโs the first time Iโve seen one of those.โ
You tossed him a flat look over your shoulder. โTheyโre not for your viewing pleasure.โ
โEverythingโs for my viewing pleasure,โ he muttered, already halfway to the bed, mug thunking down on the nightstand like a punctuation mark.ย
You rolled your eyes and turned back to the dresser, reaching for a lacy little number you hadnโt realized was still outโonly for Rhys to beat you to it, no doubt winnowing the last few feet just for theatrics.
He held it up delicately between two fingers, eyebrows lifting in mock reverence. โReally, (y/n)? This barely qualifies as a scrap. Is it forโฆ special occasions? Or just Tuesdays?โ
You snatched it from his hand, cheeks warming. โStop being a pig.โ
His grin was wicked. โOink.โ
You glared at him, but the corner of your mouth twitched. โYouโre insufferable.โ
Rhys just shrugged, entirely unbothered. โYour hospitality says otherwise.โ He moved to climb onto the bed like heโd done a hundred times before. You gave him a long, unimpressed look, then turned to grab your tea.ย
By the time you turned back, he was already against the headboard, wings gone, legs stretched out. He looked perfectly at homeโtoo at home.
You slid in beside him with a muttered, โDonโt spill anything.โ
โI never do,โ he said, tugging the blankets up from where theyโd bunched at the foot of the bed, covering you both.
You didnโt dignify that with a response, just curled your fingers around your tea and let the warmth soak in. The bed creaked quietly as you shifted against the pillows. His thigh brushed yours.
Thunder grumbled far off, less urgent now. You let yourself breathe.
Then, casually, Rhysand said, โStill humming, by the way.โ
You blinked at him.
โWhen you stirred your tea earlier,โ he clarified, turning his head toward you. โDidnโt even notice, did you?โ
โI donโt do that.โ
โHum while you stir your drink? You do it all the time,โ he said, flopping his arm behind his head. โDrives Amren insane.โ
You let out a small, startled laugh. โNow Iโm just sad I donโt hum louder.โ
โThatโs the spirit,โ he said, raising his mug in mock toast. โRattle whatever functions as her soul.โ
You clinked your cup against his without thinking. โSheโd gut you if she heard you.โ
โPlease,โ he said. โSheโs wanted to gut me for centuries.โ
You smiled into your tea, warmth pooling in your chest that had nothing to do with the drink. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence wasnโt uncomfortableโjust full. Full of steam and thunder and the fact that Rhys was here, warm beside you, his presence taking up more space than it had any right to.
He sank deeper into the pillows, stretching out like he belonged to the space and it belonged to him. His eyes drifted to the ceiling, distant but not vacant. And you let yourself look. The lines of his face were softened in the low light, made golden and shadowed by turns. He looked older like this. Not agedโjustโฆ full of time. The kind of tired that sat behind the eyes, ancient and endless and quiet.ย
And yet he was warm beside you. Solid. Here.ย
โYou always do that,โ you said after a moment, surprising even yourself.
His gaze slid toward you, slow and deliberate, like he wasnโt sure if he wanted to hear the answer. โDo what?โ
โGo quiet. Like youโve left the room without getting up.โ
A faint hum, low and noncommittal as he turned back to the ceiling. โSometimes I do.โ
It wasnโt a deflection. Just a truth handed to you gently.ย
You ran your thumb around the rim of your mug. โWhereโd you go just now?โ
A pause. Not long enough to mean avoidance, justโฆ thought.
โNowhere.โ A pause. โHere.โ
His eyes didnโt leave the ceiling, but something in his jaw eased.ย
You didnโt look away. Couldnโt.ย
Then Rhys moved, and your shoulders were almost touching. He huffed a quiet laugh. โYโknow, I used to imagine this.โ
You blinked, the sudden shift catching you off guard. โImagine what?โ
He didnโt seem to notice your disorientation, eyes still fixed ahead. โThisโsitting here, quiet like this. You. Me. Tea.โ
You stared at him for a second.ย
โTea, huh?โ you managed, still trying to catch up.
He grinned faintly. โAlways figured itโd be chamomile.โ
You shook your head, smiling despite yourself. โLet me guess. In your daydreams, I served you tea in a silken robe and draped myself over your lap like some lovesick devotee.โ
Rhysand raised an eyebrow, finally turning toward you with a glint in his eye. โYou were wearing mismatched socks and humming off-key. The usual.โ
That startled a laugh out of you, too loud for how late it was. โSo youโve always had terrible taste.โ
His brow pulled just slightly, not in confusion butโฆ disappointment? โI like to call it refined,โ he said after a breath.
You felt heat rise to your cheeks again, so you did what you did best: sipped and looked away. Beyond the window, wind and water still tangled in the darkโbut the violence of it no longer touched you.ย
โYou know,โ Rhys said after a pause, his voice dipping low again, โif weโre pointing fingers, youโve been the quiet one.โ
That violet gaze stayed fixed on you. Youโd been on the receiving end of it beforeโin briefings, in battle, across a crowded room. But never like this. Never steady enough to knock the air right out of your lungs.ย
You didnโt answer.ย
He shifted again. โWonโt even look at me. Whatโs that about?โ
You didnโt look up. Kept your eyes on the tea gone cold between your hands. There were a dozen reasons you couldโve given. Because the moment felt too full. Because it was easier not to see his face when you answered. Because his voice in your space, his body next to yours, felt like opening a book you werenโt ready to finish.ย
Instead, you said nothing.ย
Rhys didnโt push, he let the moment stretch.
You tilted your head back, eyes flicking toward the ceiling like it might hold a map for what to say next. But what came out wasnโt planned. Just something that had lived on the tip of your tongue for far longer than you were comfortable with.ย
โDo you remember that night in the Winter Court?โ you asked softly. โWhen we were in the tent?โ
His reply was instant. โWe were in the tent a lot of nights, you might have to be a bit more specific.โ
You gave him a sideways look. โThe night with the storm. When the fire kept going out.โ
Realization flickered across his face. โAh,โ he said, voice quieting.
You hadnโt meant to bring it up. Not really. But something about tonightโabout the tea and the thunder and the way he looked lounging on your bed like he belongedโฆ
You two had never talked about that night. Never talked about the way his arms wrapped around you like instinct. Never talked about how it felt too natural, too easy, how the silence between you only ever felt like comfort and understanding. But now, with the storm as this strange cocoon around youโฆ
You didnโt know what youโd expected him to say. But now that the words were out there, you couldnโt take them back.
You nodded, fingers tightening slightly around your mug. โI couldn't feel my toes. Thought I might lose them honestly.โ
โYou were shaking,โ Rhys said, a quiet chuckle buried beneath the words.
You looked over at him, the corner of your mouth lifting. โYou didnโt seem to mind holding me.โ
Rhys tilted his head, his smile softer now. โI didnโt.โ
Time slowed, dense with everything you werenโt saying. The storm pressed against the windows. His thigh brushed yours.
Then, quietlyโlike he was still deciding whether or not to say itโ
โI thought about kissing you.โ
You looked at him, heartbeat racing.
โYou were freezing,โ he added quickly, almost like a defense. โI kept thinking if I kissed you, it might stop your teeth from chattering.โ
You huffed a breath, setting the mug down on your nightstand. โThat is not how body heat works.โ
โNo,โ he agreed, eyes warm. โBut it was a nice excuse.โ
Your chest tightened. He wasnโt teasing anymore. Not really.
โI didnโt sleep much that night,โ you said.
Rhysand looked at you. Really looked at you. โNeither did I.โ
You swallowed. The storm murmured against the windows like it remembered too.
โโฆI had a dream,โ you admitted, voice barely above the hush of rain.
His brows lifted, but he didnโt speak. Just waited.
You hesitated. โNot the kind I shouldโve had with you so close.โ
A beat passed. And then he said, softly, โNo?โ
You shook your head once.
Rhysโs voice dipped, amused but careful. โWas I at least impressive in it?โ
That pulled a short laugh from your chestโbreathless, a little flustered. โYou wereโฆ very convincing.โ
His smile turned lazy. โConvincing, or irresistible?โ
You huffed. โDonโt push it.โ
โNever. I ease,โ he said with a smirk like sin, sipping from his mug. โThatโs how you get what you want.โ
You rolled your eyes, but your pulse was a steady thrum beneath your skin. You could feel the heat of him beside you, the weight of everything that hadnโt been said over the years pressing in like gravity.
โI kept waking up,โ you murmured. โBecause I thoughtโฆ if I moved too much, youโd pull away.โ
He was very still. โI wouldnโt have.โ
You looked over at him, heart skipping. He was watching you with that unreadable expressionโthe one that always made you feel like he knew more than he let on.
Then, almost too casually, he added, โFor the recordโฆ you did move. Quite a bit, actually.โ
Your heart stopped.ย
No, surely notโ
You wouldโve remembered that. You definitely wouldโve remembered that. Right?
You blinked. โI did not.โ
His grin was maddening. โMmm. Rolled right into me. Twice.โ
Heat rushed to your face, ears, down your spine.
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, then opened it just to whisper, โYouโre lying.โ
He looked far too entertained.
โTwice,โ he repeated, like he was doing you a favor.
You groaned, dropping your head into your hands. โKill me.โ
โI did consider it,โ he said with a faint smile, โbut you were clinging to me. It felt cruel.โ
โCauldron boil me,โ you muttered.
โI thought you were doing it on purpose,โ he went on, tone far too innocent. โTorturing me in my sleep.โ
Your face remained planted in the palms of your hands, groaning. โIโm never speaking again.โ
โThat seems dramatic,โ he said, clearly delighted.
โI hate you.โ
โYouโre blushing.โ
โIโm leaving.โ
โThis is your room,โ Rhys said, not missing a beat.
You peeked at him through your fingers. โAnd you just let me?โ
Rhys gave a one-shouldered shrug, eyes twinkling. โWell, what was I going to do? Shove you away?โ
You sputtered. โMost people wouldโve!โ
His expression didnโt change, but something about the air shiftedโlike even the storm outside had quieted to hear what he might say.
โI wasnโt exactly in a hurry to stop you.โ
Your breath caught.
You looked at him, expecting the usual grin, some teasing remarkโbut there was none. Just quiet.
โYou neverโฆ You never said anything,โ you murmured. You werenโt talking about that night anymoreโyou both knew it.ย
Rhys hummed, low in his throat. โDidnโt want to spook you. Or tempt fate.โ
This was about all of it. The looks, the silences, the way heโd never pulled away. The way he always felt just out of reach, like he was waiting for you to be sure. Like heโd been sure all along. But so had youโonly you hadnโt known he was. Youโd stayed just out of reach, too, waiting for a sign that never came.
You gave a breathless sort of laugh. โYou think that wouldโve tempted fate?โ
He arched a brow. โWouldnโt it have?โ
Your silence said enough.
He let it hang there for a beat, thenโwithout looking at youโreached for his mug again. Took a slow sip like he wasnโt aware of the tightrope he was walking. Like this wasnโt everything.
And when he set it down again, he spoke like it was nothing. โWhatever it was you dreamedโฆ you certainly made it hard to stay asleep.โ
Your fingers curled in your lap.
He still wasnโt looking at you, but his voice was velvet. โYou were restless. Kept shifting. Making these soft little sounds, kept sayingโโ
You made a strangled noise. โRhys.โ
That made him glance overโhis smirk unfairly smug. โYeah, like that. A bit breathier though.โย
You smacked his arm without thinkingโmore flustered than actually annoyed.
He chuckled, clearly pleased with himself. โJust saying. Mustโve been quite the night.โ
Your pulse thudded hard against your ribs. You shouldโve told him to shut up. Shouldโve changed the subject.
Instead, you said, quiet and steady, โYou can see it, if you want.โ
That wiped the grin off his face. He sat up, and his eyes found yours again, sharp and glittering.
โโฆCan I?โ
You hesitated. Because the air between you felt different now, like the quiet after a confession, when the world waits to see what youโll do with it.
You pushed the blankets off and sat up, mirroring him. Legs folded beneath you. Hands braced in your lap. You werenโt touching, but it felt like you were, every inch between you a live wire. Close. Closer than before.ย
You met his gaze and slowly, steadily, exhaled and let go.
Not all the way. Just enough. A slow unspooling at the edge of your mindโlike a thread tugged loose.
It wasnโt dramatic. No crashing walls. No shuddering gasp.
Just a tilt. A lean. A flicker of trust in the quiet.
Like cracking a door openโnot wide, just enough for someone to slip through if they wanted it badly enough.
And he felt it. You knew the moment he did. Not by any shift in his expression, but by the way his presence respondedโquiet and immediate, the brush of his mind ghosting along the threshold of yours. Not a push or a pry, just a gentle touch, like a fingertip at your temple, tracing the edges of your mindโs adamant, as if to say, Iโm here. Itโs only me. Donโt be afraid.
When he did come in, it was careful. Gentle. Not a push, not a pryโjust a brush of thought, like a thumb brushing over your bottom lip. He moved through you with reverence, with restraint. Not like he was looking for something, but like he was waiting for you to offer it.
The pressure in your chest built. Not from fearโbut from how intimate it was.
You felt the weight of him in your mind. The shape of him. Familiar and foreign all at once. Rhys, your friend. Rhys, the shoulder youโd leaned on more times than you could count. Now quiet in your head, holding still, holding backโwaiting.
So you let him see.
The memory rose, and it bloomed slowly, like a flower opening to sunlight.
Your skin slick with sweat, flushed and bare. Blankets kicked down around your hips. Rhys between your thighsโhis mouth everywhere at once. On your throat, your breasts, the inside of your knee. His voice low and rasping, coaxing, worshipping. You arched into him, hands fisted in his hair, dragging him closer, closer.
Soft sounds slipping from your lips. His name. Over and over, like a prayer.
The pace of his thoughts shifted.
You felt itโfelt himโreact, felt the pulse of heat that wasnโt yours.
But still, he didnโt move. Didnโt speak. He only watched as the memory played out, as you trembled beneath the ghost of his mouth in your dream. As your back arched for him. As your dream-self gasped his name like it meant everything.
You could feel his focus on every detail, like he was memorizing it all.
The way you sounded. The way you looked. The way you wanted him.
Rhys.
You whispered it in your mindโhis name soft and aching.
Rhys.
The dark curled tighter inside you, shadows licking through your veins like smokeโhungry and unrelenting.
Taking. Taking. Taking.
Your hips shifted. Your breath hitched.
Rhys.
His breath stuttered in responseโwherever he was.
And then, in the quiet of your room, you heard it.
A groan.
Low. Wrecked.
Rhys.
Your eyes snapped open.
Onlyโyou werenโt in your room anymore.
The air was sharp and cold. You could smell pine, damp earth, that faint mineral tang of snow on the wind. Canvas fluttered quietly overhead. The lantern cast that same golden pool of light. You heard the storm beyond the trees, muffled and distant. And beneath youโsleeping bag. Mat. The slight ache in your shoulders from a long day of hiking.
It was perfect.
Too perfect.
You blinkedโand felt it all at once: the soft cotton of your shirt clinging to your skin. The same T-shirt youโd fallen asleep in earlier tonight. The same thin underwear beneath it. Your legs were bare. Cold.
And he was there.
Rhys, kneeling over youโclose. Real. One of his thighs braced on either side of your hips, careful not to press down. His hands planted on the floor beside your shoulders. Caging you in without meaning to. Pajama pants slung low on his hips. Chest bare. Hair mussed.ย
No sign of the coats you had that night. No gloves or boots or scarves to fight off the cold. Just skin.
Warm. Alive. Here.
Your fingers dug tight into the sleeping bag beneath you. โWhat are you doing, Rhys?โ
He tilted his head. โYou tell me. Itโs your dream.โ
The words landed low in your belly.
Because it wasโyour memory, your dream, your body already humming with the way the figment of him had touched it before.ย
He was watching your mouth when you spoke again. โThis isnโt how it happened.โ
And gods, you could see itโwhere his hands had already touched this version of the night. Where the boundaries had softened, blurred. The cold clung to your skin still, but this was a watered-down echo of what youโd felt that night. Especially with the heat of him radiating so close, like he was the only warmth left in the world. The wind outside faded. All you could hear was the rhythm of your own pulse.
His gaze flicked up to meet yours. โNo. But it couldโve.โ
You swallowed. โYou didnโt have to quiet the storm.โ
He blinked, like the thought had genuinely never occurred to him. โIโve been doing it all night,โ he said simply. โWell, since the kitchen. Bit by bit, so youโd think it was fading on its own.โ
Your heart stuttered. โRhys.โ
His mouth curved, not quite a smile. โWhat? You think I couldnโt feel how tense you were?โ
โYou didnโt have to do that,โ you said, the words quieter now. โI didnโtโฆ I didnโt ask you to do that.โ
โOh?โ His brows rose slightly, magic shifting like the tide. โShould I stop then?โ
And then, with no more than a flicker of thought, he did.
Sound returned all at once. Wind shrieking against your bedroom windows. Rain pounding the glass in sheets. Distant thunder rolling deep and endless across the city.
Your body locked up. Breath caught in your throat.
And just as fast as it came, it was gone again.
Silence fell. Not the true silence of the storm easing, but the quiet Rhys had crafted for youโthick, warm, and distant, like a memory.
You didnโt say anything right away.
Because part of you wanted to laugh. Not at himโbut at yourself. At the sheer madness of lying half-dressed in your own memory, with your best friend hovering over youโinside the dream youโd had about him. Seeing it. Breathing it in. Touching the edges of everything youโd refused to say out loud.ย
Your voice came quieter this time. โWeโre not just looking anymore,โ not really a question, but you needed confirmation.ย
A pause.
โNo,โ he saidโlow and sure, gaze locked to yours like it was a tether. Like he needed the confirmation too.
You stared at each other. That same heat coiling in your gut, the same ache building where his hands hadnโt touched you yet.
You shifted slightly, barely a brush of your knee against his.
That was all it took.
He leaned inโslow, careful. Like giving you a chance to stop him.
You didnโt.
His mouth brushed yours once. Barely. A whisper of contact, soft and almost uncertain.
But your breath caught, and your hands moved on their ownโreaching, pulling him closer, until that uncertainty dissolved and his mouth claimed yours fully.
It was deeper this time. Hotter.
Not hungry. Not desperate.
Just inevitable.
Like heโd always meant to kiss you, and some part of you had always meant to let him.
While one hand held him up, the other found your hip, steady and sure, but not insistent. Justโฆ there. A grounding point. A question.
You answered it without wordsโjust a shift of your weight forward, the press of your chest against his, your fingers sliding up to rest lightly at his jaw.
He groaned low in his throat. Almost inaudible, like he didnโt mean for it to slip out.
Your kiss deepened, slow and molten. His tongue brushed yours, deliberate, and you let him in. Let him have that part of you.
His hand slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, just his fingers at first. Testing. Savoring. The warmth of your stomach. The shape of your waist.
His touch wasnโt greedy. It was careful. Almost reverent.
โYouโve thought about this,โ you murmured, breath catching as he dragged his knuckles along your ribs.
His lips ghosted down your jaw. โSo have you.โ
You didnโt deny it. How could you, when the lines between dream and memory were already blurring around you? When your body was already arching into his, betraying every want youโd ever buried?
You didnโt have to say it. Not when he could feel it in every breath you took.
He kissed you again, slower this time, like he was trying to memorize how you tasted. How you responded. The way your breath hitched when he rolled his hips just barely against yours.
Still clothed. Still not quite there. But the heat between you was unmistakable. Heavy. Radiating.
You whispered his name against his lips, barely audible.
His mouth stilled against your skin. โSay it again.โ
You did. Quieter. Closer to a prayer than a plea.
Rhys pulled back just enough to look at youโreally look.
There was no smirk this time. No mask of arrogance. Just that same dark, endless gaze, lit now with something deeper. Something older.
โYouโre sure?โ
Not a tease. Not a dare.
Just a question. One last door he wouldnโt walk through unless you opened it.
You met his gaze and gave him the only answer that matteredโleaning in, mouth brushing his in a kiss that was softer than before. Not desperate. Not urgent.
ย Just honest.
Your fingers found the back of his neck, curling there, grounding yourself in him. In this moment.
And Rhys melted into it, bearing his weight on his forearm now, the hand beneath your shirt sliding up againโflat palm, slow drag. Like he was rediscovering a familiar map, one he hadnโt realized heโd memorized until now.
Every breath you took pressed your chest against his. Every motion of your hips fed the fire you were both barely keeping contained.
But it wasnโt just heat burning between you.
It was years. Of glances held too long. Of arguments that meant more than they shouldโve. Of moments like this, only imagined.
Rhysand pulled back, far enough to drink you inโeyes roaming, slow and deliberate, like he meant to memorize the sight. The flush on your cheeks. The part in your lips. The want you didnโt bother hiding. โWhat were you thinking about in the kitchen?โ
You blinked. โNothing.โ
He arched a brow. โDonโt lie to me.โ
โIโm not,โ you said quickly, too quickly. โI justโI couldnโt sleep.โ
He hummed, unconvinced. โFunny. Because I was sleeping. And then I wasnโt.โ
He shifted above you, and his hand drifted. Down your stomach. Past the pushed-up hem of your shirt. โIt wasnโt the storm that woke me,โ he murmured, and that hand kept going, slow and steady. โIt was your scent.โ
You gasped as his palm cupped you over your underwearโbroad and warm and possessive. The heel of it pressed just right and he knew it. โRhysโโ
But he didnโt stop. Didnโt soften.ย
โI wanted so badly to know what you were dreaming about,โ he said, voice dipped in velvet and ruin, rich with heat. His fingers curled just slightly, a teasing drag along the soaked fabric. โI could smell it. Clear across the house.โ
He leaned in, mouth brushing your ear now. โI could smell you,โ he said, voice dragging slow, like he wanted the words to settle in your blood. โWarm and ready. Like sugar melting off skin. Like salt and heat.โ
His breath skimmed your ear. โI wanted to fall to my knees right then and taste every drop of it.โ
He inhaled at the curve of your neck, sharply, greedily, hungrily. Like he could drink in the want from your skin. โIt hit me like a fucking punch to the gut.โ
Your thighs twitched. He smiled.
โYou were so wet, werenโt you?โ His thumb moved now, tracing slow, idle circles over the damp cotton. โDripping onto the sheets, dreaming of something. I couldnโt stop thinking.โ
You, on the other hand, simply couldnโt think. You could barely breathe.
โThoughts of youโฆโ he murmured, dragging the words across your skin. โSpread out across my sheets. Still dreaming. Still wet. I imagined you there on my bed, mouth parted, thighs sticky with it. Maybe you were dreaming of me fucking you slowโdragging it out. Or maybe roughโhands on your hips, face pressed into the pillow.โ
His hand stilled. Breath shallow.
โI wanted to touch myself to it,โ he said, voice torn. โTo that scentโyour need hanging in the air like perfume. To the image of you in bedโฆ It drove me fucking mad,โ he whispered. โThe thought of you, wet and whimpering in your sleep. I almost fisted my cock right there, just to take the edge off.โ
A pause, thick with restraint.
โBut it felt likeโฆ a line I couldnโt cross. Like taking something that wasnโt mine to have yet.โ
His head dropped slightly, forehead brushing yours.
โSo I just lay there. Thinking. Burning. Telling myself to sleepโRhysand, ignore it. Donโt be an idiot. Donโt think about her fingers between her thighs, donโt think about her mouth open, whispering your name into the nightโ
Just sleep.โ
A beat. A slow, shaky inhale.ย
โBut I couldnโt stop thinking. Couldnโt stop needing you. And right when I couldnโt fucking take it anymoreโright when I gave in and was reaching for myselfโโ
โRhys,โ you breathed.ย
โIt vanished. I thought maybe Iโd imagined it. So I got up, went to get some cold water.โ He kissed the curve of your jaw. โTried to walk it off.โ
Another slow press of his thumb. Another spike of pleasure.
โAnd then,โ he went on, gaze sharpening like a blade, โI got close to the kitchen. Heard you moving around.โ
His smile turned feral.ย
โAnd there it was again.โ
You made a soft, involuntary soundโembarrassed and wrecked all at once.ย
Rhys purred against your neck, all smoke and satisfaction. โThat scent. Cauldron, itโs maddening. Didnโt even touch yourself, did you?โ
You shook your head, barely.
He groanedโdeep and low and filthy. โFuck, donโt even have to touch yourself to flood the whole fucking house with it.โ
His fingers dragged along the soaked fabric again, deliberate and slow. โAll of it between your thighs, and you justโฆ stood there. Thinking about it. Letting it drip down like you didnโt care who smelled it.โ
You thought you were alone.
Cassian was in Illyria, Azriel was in Vallahan.ย
Rhysand hadnโt said a word before youโd gone to bed. Hadnโt made himself known, hadnโt so much as sent a thought your way.ย
He had to know you thought you were the only one home.ย
You never would have left your room like that ifโ
โYou wanted me to find you like that?โ he whispered. โIs that it? Standing there in your little shirt, soaking yourself, pretending you couldnโt sleep while your body screamed for me?โ
Your hips jerked. His hand didnโt budge.
โRhys,โ you tried, broken and breathless.
But he was far from done.
โMaybe,โ he mused, voice going molten, โyou wanted me to walk in and bend you over the counter. Pull theseโโ he snapped the waistband of your underwearโโto the side and taste that sweet, sleepy mess you made between your legs. The one that begged me to wake you up with my mouth.โ
You let out a ragged breathโhalf sob, half moan.
โTell me what you were thinking about in the kitchen,โ he said again, lower now, darker. โAnd this time, donโt lie.โ
You swallowed. โI wasnโtโโ
His fingers slid beneath the cotton. Skin on skin. Heat on heat.
You gasped, hips twitching, breath gone.
โTry again,โ he growled, mouth at your throat. โOr Iโll keep my fingers here all night and wonโt let you come. Not until you tell me.โ
Your legs trembled. โIt was you,โ you admitted, voice wrecked. โIt was always you.โ
He groaned like the words were a reward, his fingers finally moving with purpose, circling, stroking.
โThatโs better,โ he said. โNow tell me what I was doing.โ
You bit your lip.
His fingers stilled instantly.ย
โYouโโ your voice cracked, and you dragged in a shuddering breath. โYou had me against the window.โ
He hummed in approval, fingers pushing in just a little, just enough to make you gasp. โWhich one?โ
โThe big one. Upstairs. In your room.โ
โOf course,โ he murmured, darkly pleased. โYou like the one with the view.โ
You nodded helplessly.
โAnd what was I doing to you?โ he prompted, thumb brushing maddening circles again. โTell me exactly.โ
Your cheeks flushed, but you obeyed. โYou came up behind me. Wrapped your hand around my throat. Pressed me against the glass.โ
Before the words even finished leaving your mouth, Rhys shiftedโfree hand sliding up, fingers curling gently but firmly around your throat, thumb pressing into the soft spot beneath your jaw.
You gasped.
โLike this?โ he asked, voice all sin and silk.
You nodded, throat moving against his grip. โYes.โ
His hand between your thighs moved diligently, slick sounds soft and obscene. โKeep going.โ
โYou pushed my legs apart. Made me look out at the city. Said you wanted everyone to see how pretty I looked for you.โ
He groanedโlow and wrecked. โOf course I did.โ
And then he movedโsliding down your body, pressing kisses to your stomach, your hip, the crease of your thigh. He peeled your underwear off your legs with lazy reverence, and when he looked up at you from between your legs, his eyes glinted like a god about to claim what was his.
โDid I touch you like this in your dream? With my tongue?โ he asked softly, like he didnโt already know the answer.
You moaned, thighs twitching. โYou didnโt stop.โ
He grinnedโdark, delightedโand then he didnโt stop, either.
His mouth was on you in a heartbeatโhot, open-mouthed kisses to your swollen cunt, tongue dragging through your folds, firm and slow. His grip on your thighs tightened, keeping you open, helpless, right where he wanted you.
And gods, he was good.
He licked into you like he was trying to taste the dream itself, moaning against your cunt like you were the one unraveling him. When his tongue flicked your clitโonce, twice, then againโyour hips bucked and he groaned, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you still.
โGods, I knew youโd taste good,โ he murmured to himself, voice hoarse. โDid I make you come like this?โ
You whimpered. โTwice.โ
His mouth sealed around your clit again, tongue flicking faster now, more pressure, more hunger. Your hands scrabbled at the blankets, his hair, anything to hold onto as the pleasure surged, sharp and sudden and far too muchโ
And then you broke. Legs shaking, breath gone, climax crashing through you with dizzying force. He held you through it, tongue still moving lazily, drawing every last tremor from your body.
You didnโt even have time to recover before he was movingโrising over you again, mouth glistening, eyes wild with want.
His hand cradled the side of your face, thumb brushing along your cheek as he leaned down, kissed you slow and deep. Let you taste yourself on his tongue. Let you feel how much he needed this.
He pressed his forehead to yours, breathing hard, voice low. โTell me what I did next.โ
You blinked up at him, dazed and already aching again. โYouโโ your voice faltered. โYou didnโt even let me catch my breath. You justโฆ slid inside me.โ
A groan rumbled in his chest, and he shoved his pants down with the kind of urgency that made your pulse stutter. reached down, dragging the head of his cock through your slick folds with maddening patience.
โLike this?โ
He guided the head of his cock through your folds, slick and aching. You nodded, breath catching.
โNo teasing,โ you whispered.ย
His jaw clenched, and thenโ
He pushed into you with one long, slow thrust, the stretch of him making your eyes flutter shut.
โFuck,โ he breathed, head dropping to your shoulder. โYou feelโ.โ
He started to move, hips rolling deep and steady, slower than the rhythm youโd imagined in sleep. He thrust like he couldnโt get enough.
Gentler. Like he wanted to savor it. Like he couldnโt believe you were real.
His hand slid down your side, settling at your waist, grounding you as his body rocked into yours with patient, aching care. Each thrust was deliberate, every motion a silent promise. And when he looked down at youโeyes dark and open, lips parted with quiet reverenceโyou felt like the only thing that mattered in the world.
โIs this okay?โ he murmured, voice low, rough with restraint.
You nodded, breath hitching. โBetter than I couldโve ever dreamed.โ
That pulled a soft smile from him. He dipped down to kiss you again, slow and lingering, his hips still moving with that unhurried rhythm that had your toes curling. He wasnโt fucking youโhe was making love to you. Deep and warm and full of something that felt dangerously close to adoration.
Then his fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt, a silent question. You shifted beneath him, lifting your arms to help, and he peeled it off you with reverent care, tossing it aside without taking his eyes off you.
His lips brushed yours again, breath warm and trembling. โYou feel so good,โ he murmured, like the words had to be pulled from somewhere deep. His gaze drifted down your body, hungry and awestruck all at once. โAnd you lookโฆโ His breath hitched. โYou look so fucking beautiful.โ
One hand slid up, fingers splaying over your ribs before cupping your breastโslow, purposeful. His thumb brushed over your nipple, and your back arched instinctively, a soft sound catching in your throat.ย
โThere you go,โ he whispered, lips ghosting over your skin. โThatโs it. Just let yourself feel it.โ
He groaned, leaning down to press a kiss to your collarbone, then lower. โBeen thinking about this,โ he rasped, tongue flicking over the peak before he took it into his mouth. โDreaming of this.โ
And his hips never stopped moving.
The pace stayed slowโfor a moment longer. Long enough to draw another gasp from your throat, long enough for your fingers to tighten against his back. But you felt itโhow his control began to fray. How the roll of his hips deepened, a little harder now, a little faster.
โYou still with me?โ he breathed, lifting his head just enough to see you nod absently. โThatโs my girlโฆ Let me take care of you.โ
He drew back and pushed in hard, the force of it knocking the air from your lungs. Then again. And again. Still tenderโbut no longer soft. Not when he buried himself inside you like he couldnโt stand the thought of being apart.
You clung to him as the pace built, sweat slicking your skin, breath mixing in the charged air between your mouths. He kissed you like he needed it, like he needed you, all of you, while he fucked you deeper, rougher, until every thrust had your eyes rolling back.
You turned your head, breath catching as his mouth dragged along your jaw. โYou feelโfuckโyou feel so good,โ you whispered, the words trembling out of you.
He groaned in response, hips stuttering just slightly.
โEvery time you push in,โ you went on, voice low and wrecked, โgods, itโs so deep.โ
His hand slipped beneath your thigh, hitching it higher, opening you more. โYouโre perfect,โ he growled. โFucking perfect.โ
Your fingers curled around his nape, tugging him down until your lips brushed his ear. โYou donโt have to hold back,โ you breathed. โI can take it.โ
His hips slowed.ย
You didnโt stop. โI want to take it,โ you whispered, and then added, a little bolder, โWant to feel all of it. All of you.โ
A low, broken sound escaped him. โYou donโt know what youโre asking.โ
โI do.โ Your gaze met hisโopen, hungry. โI want you, Rhys.โ
He didnโt speak. Didnโt blink.
Then his grip tightenedโhands sliding under your thighs, pressing them up, hooking your legs over his shoulders, folding you open. The new angle had you gasping as he sank in, slow at first, then all at onceโdeep and overwhelming.
He held you there, panting above you, pupils blown wide.
โThis is what you wanted,โ he said, and he started to moveโhard, fast, relentless, like a dam breaking, like heโd been holding back for years and couldnโt anymore. โSo take it. Donโt close your eyes, look at meโฆ Thereโs my girl. There you go.โ
You couldnโt even think, couldnโt breathe as he talked you through it. You could only feel as he fucked you into the blankets with single-minded, devastating purpose.
Your hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging in as he drove into you again and again, every thrust punching a sound from your throatโbreathy, desperate, wrecked. You couldnโt even meet his gaze anymore, too overwhelmed by the sheer stretch of him, the heat of him, the way your body clenched around him like it never wanted to let him go.
โLook at me,โ he growled, hips snapping forward.
You tried. Gods, you tried. Your lashes fluttered as your eyes met hisโwild and dark and hungry.
โThatโs it,โ he murmured. โKeep those eyes on me while I fuck you.โ
You whimpered, head falling back, thighs trembling in his hold. โRhysโโ
โI know,โ he panted, pace unrelenting. โI know, baby. I feel it too.โ
His hand slid up your side, fingers splayed across your ribs before brushing the swell of your breast. He cupped it gently at firstโthen squeezed, thumb circling your nipple until you cried out.
โYouโre doing so well, fuckโtaking me so deep. Can you feel how tight you are around me? Gods, youโre perfect like this,โ he said, voice cracking. โUnder me. Around me. Fuckโmine.โ
You were closeโso close it ached, a coil drawn tight in your belly, ready to explode.
โI canโtโโ you gasped. โIโm gonnaโโ
โLet go,โ he urged, voice nearly breaking. โCome for me. I want to feel it.โ
And with one more brutal thrustโdeep, punishing, perfectโyou shattered around himโbody locking up, mouth open in a silent cry as pleasure surged through you like lightning. But he didnโt stop.
He didnโt slow down.
Rhys kept fucking you through it, relentless, determined, dragging every last wave of that climax out of you with deep, punishing thrusts. His grip on your thighs was bruising, the way he held you open, kept you wide and helpless beneath him, like he needed to watch the way you came undone.
โLook at you,โ he groaned. โSo fucking beautiful when you come.โ
Your hands clawed at the blankets, your mind white-hot and unraveling. Every thrust hit something electric inside you, your body too sensitive, too raw, and yetโyou wanted it. Needed more.
โToo much,โ you whispered, the words barely a breath.
โNo, baby,โ he growled, dragging his cock out slowโthen slamming back in so hard your vision blurred. โYou can take it. Youโre gonna give me another.โ
Your mouth dropped open in a moan, back arching as he angled his hips just rightโgrinding deep, relentless, right against that spot that made you sob.
โI canโtโโ you tried again, voice breaking, but your body told a different story. Your hips rolled to meet him, thighs quaking where he held them, cunt pulsing so hard around him it was all he could do not to lose it.
โYes you can,โ he hissed, sweat slicking his chest. โYouโre already close. I can feel youโso tight, so wet. Fuck, youโre milking me.โ
You couldnโt think. Could barely breathe. The pressure built again with terrifying speed, your body strung so tight it felt like you might snap in half.
Then his thumb found your clitโcircling, pressing, teasing just enoughโ just enoughโ
You screamed. Loud and wrecked and his, as a second orgasm slammed into you, fiercer than the first, crashing over you like a storm. Your whole body locked up, legs shaking violently in his grip, and all you could do was feelโlike you were flying apart in a thousand pieces, pleasure white-hot and endless. Your vision went white. A cry tore from your throat as your body clenched down around him, pulsing with wave after wave of raw, blinding pleasure. He cursed, his rhythm faltering, then slamming back in with a groan as he chased his own end.
โGods,โ he choked. โYou feelโfuckโfuckโโ
And then he was coming, hips pressed flush to yours, buried as deep as he could go, filling you with every last pulse of him.
He didnโt stop touching you, even thenโhis movements gentler now, grounding, soothing, his hands sliding down your legs, your hips, up to cradle your face as he pressed his forehead to yours, both of you panting, trembling, lost.
You were still trembling when he finally eased out of you, slow and careful, like he hated to leave the warmth of your body. You hissed at the sudden emptiness, your legs twitching with the aftershocks.
โShh,โ he murmured, kissing your temple. โIโve got you.โ
You barely registered him movingโjust the rustle of fabric, the shift of air. Then something warm and damp pressed between your thighs, and you jolted.
โRelax,โ he said, voice lower now, rasping with the remnants of his own ruin. โJust cleaning you up.โ
Your head lolled to the side, eyes half-lidded. โWhere the hell did you even get that?โ
Rhys gave a soft huffโalmost a laughโas he wrung out the cloth and dabbed between your legs with unhurried care. โI always come prepared.โ
You groaned. โThat better not be from your pocket.โ
He smirked. โDonโt worry. It was clean. Canโt say the same for you.โ
You swatted at his shoulder, too weak to land anything meaningful. He caught your wrist easily, brought it to his lips, kissed your knuckles. Then, quieter, more serious: โYou okay?โ
You met his gaze, and for a second, it felt like the world narrowed to just thatโhis eyes, searching yours, all that fire banked into something steadier. Warmer.
โIโm good,โ you whispered. โBetter than good.โ
He nodded, brushing a damp strand of hair from your cheek. โDidnโt mean to wreck you like that.โ
โLiar,โ you muttered, which earned another soft grin.
โI mean,โ he murmured, voice dipping as he smoothed the cloth over your skin one last time, โI didโbut I wasnโt planning on it going that far.โ
You let out a breathless laugh, instinctively crossing your arms over your chest as the chill started to creep back in around the edges of your bliss.
โRhys,โ you said dryly, โas much as Iโm enjoying the ambiance out here, Iโd really prefer not to freeze to death with your come dripping out of me.โ
He huffed a soft laughโbut a blink later, the cold vanished. The ground beneath you softened, gave way to your plush mattress. Dim, golden light from your lamp spilled over you both. The scent of lavender and sex filled the space.ย
Rhysand shifted closer, his arm curling low around your waist. The weight of his touch, the steadiness, was enough to drown out the storm still raging beyond the window.ย
You tucked your head beneath his chin, let his warmth settle into your skin.
โNext time,โ you mumbled, eyes already heavy, โyou conjure us a fire first.โ
His chest shook with a quiet laugh. โNext time,โ he promised, voice like velvet and shadows, โIโll give you anything you want.โ
๐๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฅ๐จ๐๐จ: He saved the world. But the cost? A part of himself that he can never get back.
Rhysand returned to Velaris as the hero of Prythian, but the shadows of his past cling to him, leaving him distant, haunted. The world has moved on, but he hasn't.
You, an apothecary in Velaris, isnโt interested in saving anyoneโleast of all him. You have your own secrets and scars to carry. When your paths cross, something shifts. Something neither of you is ready for.
No one warned you that some connections are inevitable, no matter how much you resist.
In a city where the past is never truly gone, both of you may have more in common than you realizeโwhether youโre ready to face it or not.
Inspired by: "A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins
Pairing: Rhysand x Y/N
Note: I was listening to this song and I was inspired, so why not. I still don't understand how Tumblr works, so work in progress I guess. This is a draft of the first chapter, Rhysand is introduced in the second chapter, if you guys like it. I'll publish it! Dividers by @aquazero
Chapter 2 here
The wind that rolled down from the Sidra had a bite to it that morning. Not cruel, not winterโs wrath โ but sharp enough to slip beneath cloaks and find skin. The kind of wind that reminded you the world moved on, with or without you. The kind that asked whether youโd move with it.
I walked with my hood up and my hands tucked into the sleeves of my coat, eyes on the slick stones of the narrow alleyways that cradled my little shop like a secret. People passed me by with baskets of bread and paper-wrapped flowers. Some nodded, most didnโt. That suited me just fine.
The apothecary sat where it always had, halfway between the river and the square, tucked into a weathered stone building that leaned like it was tired. A faded wooden sign above the door read โThe Apothecaryโ โ how original โ , but most people just called it the shop with the blue door.
I liked it that way.
The bell above the door gave a single, soft chime when I pushed it open. That sound was mine โ Iโd chosen it, tuned it, hung it with trembling fingers years ago. Not just to hear when someone entered. But to remind me that this space was real. That I existed, here.
Inside, the warmth was waiting. Not from a fire โ I hadnโt lit one yet โ but from the walls themselves, from the worn wood shelves and their neat rows of amber bottles, herb bundles hanging from the ceiling, soft powders and dried petals in glass. The scent of bergamot, ash bark, and clove curled in the air like memory.
My fingers moved automatically โ unlocking the storeroom, checking the fresh jars from the night before, brushing dust from the counter. It was still early. Velaris hadnโt woken fully yet. That was the way I preferred it: the hush before sound, the stillness before demands.
The city was beautiful, a dream for poets, all marble and starlight, but I had no interest in its art galleries or its floating lanterns โ not anymore at least โ . Beauty like that had always seemed a little cruel to me. Too fragile. Too easy to break.
I liked the ugly things. Bitter roots. Cracked vials. The stubborn fight of plants that grow in poor soil.
By the second hour, the shop was humming in the soft way it always did. The bell rang, and I didnโt have to look up to know it was Aeluin.
He came every week โ a retired cloth-dyer who still carried the scent of ink and wool on his hands.
โMorning, girl,โ he said, with a nod and a wheeze. โSame as usual.โ
โYou sleeping?โ I asked, already reaching for the tin with the lavender blend I made just for him. โOr just pretending you are?โ
Aeluin gave a dry laugh. โIf I was sleeping proper, I wouldnโt be here begginโ for leaves.โ
โYouโre not begging. Youโre paying,โ I said, and wrapped the tin with a strip of linen. โThis time, donโt steep it more than five minutes. You overbrew it again, it wonโt knock out a field mouse.โ
He left a few coppers on the counter โ more than I charged โ and didnโt wait for change. He never did.
โYou should come by the square,โ he said before the door closed behind him. โTheyโve set up a market for the solstice. Music, food, that sort of thing.โ
โI donโt do crowds.โ
He gave me a look. Not pity, not judgment. Justโฆ recognition. Then he nodded once and left.
Alone again.
โ โขโ โฐโโโฝเผโพโโโฑโ โขโ
The second bell of the morning came with the scent of wet stone and steel. An Illyrian โ tall, broad-shouldered, wings tucked neatly beneath his cloak. Draxen, I remembered. Weโd only spoken a few times before.
"Youโre up early," he said, pulling his hood back and ruffling damp hair.
I gave a small nod, already reaching for the tincture I guessed heโd come for โ something for sore muscles or a bruised rib. "Trouble flying?"
"Trouble sparring," he replied with a grin, eyeing the shelf like he was looking for something else entirely. โYour stuff works better than whatever my partner stashes in his desk.โ
โYouโre still using it wrong.โ
Draxen gave a mock-wounded look. โCanโt I just appreciate your brewing skills without the lecture?โ
I let the faintest smile curl the corner of my mouth. โThat would be new.โ
He leaned against the counter, casual, like someone who didnโt quite know what to do with stillness. โYou always this cheery in the morning?โ
โYou always this nosy for no reason?โ
He barked a laugh, genuinely amused. I handed him the small dark-glass bottle, carefully labeled.
"Thanks," he said, slipping it into his jacket. But instead of leaving, he looked around โ really looked. At the half-lit corners, the shelves, the care in every label and placement. His gaze was warm, but sharp. The kind that sees more than it should. โYou ever think of moving closer to the city center? Youโd have more customers.โ
I arched a brow. โYou want more people to know where I live?โ
โFair enough,โ he said, that smirk of his deepening with approval. โStill. Youโve got a talent.โ
โIโve got quiet. Thatโs enough.โ
He lingered, like he wanted to say more, but finally just gave a nod and turned toward the door. The bell jingled behind him, the wind tugging at his cloak as he vanished into the street.
The shop was quite again.
I leaned against the counter and listened to the silence. Not empty, not lonely. Just quiet. And in that quiet, I breathed.
This was my space. My rhythm. My peace.
So when the bell chimed again โ softer this time, like a fingertip on glass โ I knew before I turned that something was different.
She stepped inside, cloak damp at the edges, the color of the deepest red โ a shade that wouldโve blended into shadows if not for the sheen of rain on the velvet. Her hair, golden and impossibly bright, fell in a braid over one shoulder, and her expression was open in that diplomatic sort of way โ welcoming, unreadable, disarming.
She seems like someone used to being watched.
Not in a vain way โ not the kind that demanded attention โ but the way people moved when they were accustomed to it. Like she was always bracing for something. Praise or attack, I couldnโt tell.
I didnโt need more than a second to place her. I saw her in the city, everyone knows her.
The Morrigan.
A member of the Night Court.
he High Lordโs third in command.
She didnโt introduce herself, but I didnโt expect her to. Instead, she stepped forward and said, โI was passing by,โ voice warm but measured, โand your shop lookedโฆ inviting.โ
My hands didnโt still over the bundles I was sorting. โItโs open.โ
Her eyes moved over the room with genuine interest, not feigned for politeness. โWhat do you prepare here? Herbs? Brews? Tinctures?โ
โAll of the above,โ I said. โOils, powders, teas. Salves. Tonics for the body. Others for the mind.โ
She nodded, stepping closer โ not into my space, but toward a low shelf lined with small dark vials, all unlabeled.
โYou work alone?โ
I gave her a look. She didnโt press.
After a quiet moment, she turned back to me. โDo you make truth serums?โ
The question was clear, but her tone was carefully neutral โ too practiced to be idle curiosity. She didnโt say who they wanted the truth from, or why.
โYes.โ
โSubtle ones?โ
โYes.โ
Something flickered behind her gaze. Not surprise, but something adjacent. Approval, maybe.
โI need one that doesnโt taste like anything,โ she said. โOne that doesnโt slow the tongue or dull the mind. One that wonโt be noticed until itโs too late.โ
I tied off the sprig of dried anise root I was wrapping and finally met her eyes. โHow long do you want it to last?โ
โA few minutes. Long enough for answers.โ
I nodded once, then turned to the back shelves without another word. I didnโt ask who it was for. I didnโt ask why. She didnโt offer.
And that, oddly, felt like an understanding.
I took down two jars โ one filled with crushed veritas blossoms, another with pale green thistle seeds. From a third tin, I pulled a small folded parchment containing a fine white powder that shimmered faintly in the light.
I began measuring in silence.
Behind me, the woman wandered, careful not to touch anything. Her gaze moved to the bone charm hanging above the archway โ one of the old ones. A ward against liars. She didnโt comment on it.
When I turned back, she was already watching me.
โThis wonโt compel truth,โ I said. โItโll only lower the resistance to speaking it. The mind will want to keep secrets, but the tongue wonโt quite cooperate.โ
โThatโs all we need.โ
I folded the blend into a black wax paper and tied it with string. No label. No instructions. If she needed this, sheโd know how to use it.
โFour silvers,โ I said.
She paid in silence. Then, without reaching for the bundle yet, she studied me a moment longer. Not rudely. Not with suspicion. Just withโฆ interest.
โMost apothecaries wouldnโt hand this over without a dozen questions.โ
โThen most apothecaries waste breath.โ
That made her smile โ small, almost private.
โIโm Morrigan,โ she offered then, with a slight bow of her head.
โI know.โ
She paused โ not offended, just curious. โAnd you are?โ
โY/Nโ
A flicker of recognition, maybe in the name. Maybe not. But she said nothing else. Just tucked the packet into her cloak, nodded once, and turned for the door.
โIt suits you.โ, then she vanished.
I didnโt answer.
The bell chimed as she left, and the silence folded around me again โ but not quite the same silence as before.
Most, if not all, of these recs are in the Justice for Nesta/ ACOSF rewrite/fix-it vein. It will be updates as I find more fics, but feel free to send any recs you have.
TRIGGER WARNING! Many of these fics will be very dark, with references to suicide, ptsd, misogyny, and IC BS. However, I'll be sure to add specifics where applicable.
Fics For Those Craving Nesta JusticeI put all the fics I found into one collection on AO3 that, as the title suggests, are for those craving Nesta Justice. Please read the relevant tags for each fic, as many of them contain reference to PTSD, SA (both past referenced and in story), and general IC BS.
I'll also list every fic in this collection bellow, just to keep them all in one place. Feel free to also add your own finds or works if you have any. The collection is open, but moderated.
Those the Stars Cannot Hear by @kataraavatara
An ACOSF rewrite where Mor makes good on her threat to leave Nesta in the CON.
Baby, now we got bad blood by Pumpkinspice_Lou
They say you should never come between a male and his mate. Rhysand should've known better. Aka Cassian finally choosing Nesta. Completed two-shot.
A Court of Vice and Victors by Wishcamper
Acosf rewritten by a therapist. Need I say more? Incomplete.
You Made Her Like That By BookWorm77071
A few days into their Hike from Hell, Nesta is able to form one coherent thought: I don't want to do this anymore. So she stops. Three chapter short story. Completed.
Nesta becomes a baby by Theladyofbloodshed
Exactly what the title says. Oneshot.
A Court of Tangled Flames by Theladyofbloodshed
A Neris fic where Nesta gets the love story she deserves.
ACOTAR snippet collection by Theladyofbloodshed
A collection of Acotar what ifs.
Nesta vs. The Buffer by Theladyofbloodshed
After Nesta finally snaps at another 'family' dinner, calling Cassian and Mor out on their shit, she begins to heal and fall in love on her own terms. With a certain shadowsinger. Completed. Nezriel fic. Anti IC but they kind of redeem themselves at the end. Completed.
AU Where We Pretend Acosf Didn't Happen by Theladyofbloodshed
An alternative take to ACOSF, starting from post ACOFS. Nesta ends up leaving Velaris, starting herself on a journey of self discovery and healing. TW Beron Vansera, implied/referenced SA, IC being assholes.
Nightmare Dressed Like A Daydream by This_Immortal_Hope
Nesta was a wolf. So, much like a wolf, she bided her time, accepting her exile with ice in her and determination in her heart. When she was ready, she tore their Court of Dreams apart with their own hypocrisy. One shot. No ship. Rhysand is thoroughly put in his place. Oneshot.
Second Chances by miryamdev
Cassian apologises to Nesta after the HOFAS bonus chapter.
A trick of the light by closet_monster
There was nothing condemning about madness or paralyzing fear. Nesta was familiar with both โ they seemed to be a recurring theme in both womanhood and life in Hewn. Oneshot. TW Depression, self harm, and implied abuse. Please double check the tags before reading.
Burn for Eternity by rosemai
Nesta is defeated and broken down by the words of her sisters and the IC, so she takes matters into her own hands and meets a group on individuals who could give her the help she needs. Incomplete.
Nesta's Truth by grovellingboyfriends
After another year of leaving Nesta alone, Cassian finds Nesta in her apartment on Solstice, standing over a dead man. TW for implied SA, parental abuse, Elain is a bitch. 3/5 chapters published as of making this post.
Daylight by Flowerflamestar
Nesta Archeron, banished and betrayed, ran from cold and hatred straight into the light of Day and found a place where she could belong. Completed.
Might I Suggest You Don't Fuck With My Sis by MacabreGiggles
The intervention rethought, where the Archeron sisters decide to stand up for one another and put the IC in their place. Incomplete.
I died. I will die. It's alright. I don't mind. By MacabreGiggles
Nesta resorts to other means to cope, like drugs. Incomplete. TW. Abuse. Alcolism. Suicide. Sexual assault. Drug abuse.
The Veil of Silence by Hrizantemy
There exists a veil of silence, it shrouds our voices masking our truths, muffling our cries, our voices are muted, and dreams whispered. Incomplete.
You're a crisis of my faith by porque_nolosdos
Nesta and Elain leave the NC, and upon seeing the IC's reaction, Feyre decides to ditch them too. Incomplete.
A thousand cuts by adelindschade
It finally clicks for Cassian just how badly Nesta was hurting (it only took three TW suicide TW attempts), so he decides to try thinking of what Nesta would want. This decision leaves a ripple effect that will change the NC as we know it. Incomplete.
The consequences of normality by TheTeaQueen
After the events of ACOSF, things seem relatively normal. Until Cassian realises that Nesta doesn't ask for things, or that self hatred still grips her, or the facade she puts on for her family. When she starts cutting back on training and work in the library, he begins to worry. Maybe things aren't as perfect as he thought. Maybe their methods in helping her weren't as effective as he thought. Incomplete.
Three little words by TheTeaQueen
Cassian finally says those three little words that Nesta needed to hear. Oneshot.
Like fire, she raged by TheTeaQueen
Emerie stands up for Nesta and puts Rhys and Feyre in their place. Completed.
Of Death and Resurrection by TheTeaQueen
Part 1 of In the name of healing and happiness. Nesta was ready to die. So to save Feyre and Nyx, she did. Can Rhysand, the only person who can save her, bring her back from the brink? Completed. TW Implied suicide, rape/sa, anti Elain.
Of Shadows and Light by TheTeaQueen
Part 2 of In the name of healing and happiness. Technically more of a Gwynriel fic, but does have some Nessian since it follows the aftermath of Of death and Resurrection, only Azriel, Gwyn & Elain are the main focus. Ties up a lose thread or two from part 1, and is 100% Anti Elain. Completed. TW Implied child abuse, implied suicide, torture.
Of Reopened Wounds and Retribution by TheTeaQueen
Part 3 of In the name of healing and happiness. A trip to the human lands to discuss the treaty leads Nesta to face Thomas Mandray again. This time, she has family willing to go to hell and back for her. Incomplete. TW Implied rape/sa, panic attack.
Lady Death and Her Kingdom by TheTeaQueen
Amren pushes Nesta too far, causing her to awaken a strange new power. TW Implied child abuse. Incomplete.
The Hike, Alternatively by TheTeaQueen
An alternative take on The Hike from Hell, where Nesta attempt to TW commit suicide TW, and Cassian realises just how messed up their methods, and the events leading up to the hike are. Written for Suicide prevention month. Completed. TW Self harm, suicide, The Hike.
To Pay a Debt by TheTeaQueen
When Nesta sees that Feyre didn't include her in any of the paintings, she does the only thing she can think of; Run. Incomplete. TW, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentioned sa.
Burning from the Inside out by TheTeaQueen
An au where Nesta's secretly lived with Chronic pain her whole life, only for the cauldron and her new powers to exacerbate it. Complete. TW Implied/referenced child abuse, suicidal thoughts, ableism, internalised ableism.
The Whole Truth by TheTeaQueen
An alternative take where Nesta's deepest secret comes to light when Elain explodes at the dinner table one night. This forces the IC and her sisters to reevaluate their perception of her. Incomplete. TW: Child abuse, suicidal thoughts/ideation, forced prostitution, sexual assault (underage!!)
Set my Soul Alight by moodymelanist
Nesta finds solace in Autumn. No Nessian. Completed. TW Implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced rape, implied/referenced torture.
Falling by becauseofreading
Another take on what happens after Cassian tells Nesta that everybody hates her. Incomplete. TW Self harm, suicidal thoughts, blood and injuries.
Destruction and Renewal by Vorbi
Nesta is given the opportunity to form new alliances. Initially, she scoffs at the idea, but after a small, final act of disrespect from the IC, she decides to see where this new path leads us. Incomplete. TW Implied/referenced abuse.
No One Likes A Mad Woman by Separatist_Apologist
You made her like that. Nesta has had her choices tripped away, so when Eris offers her an out, she takes it. No happy ending for Cassian. The Night Court gets no sympathy. Completed. TW Domestic violence
A Cup of Tea by shaziskhalid
After realising that the Cassian of her dreams isn't the Cassian she's mated to, everything changed. (MCU! Wanda, modern Au). Incomplete.
Promise by Daughterofthesea
Begins during that scene where Cassian follows Nesta, and ends with him understanding just how much pain she's in, and deciding to actually help her.
Stay here (I love you, but I need another year) by littleplease
Nesta is tired, and losing the will to even try. Complete. TW Apathy, depression, vuage suicidal thoughts.
What you did to me (I'll spend my life trying to rise) by filthymouthedslut
Nesta is done with the IC's holier-than-thou attitude. No ship. Incomplete (3/4) as of updating this post.
Everybody hates you by Booksandsushi
A different take on the time Cassian tells Nesta that Everybody hates her. Incomplete.
Change is good by Booksandsushi
Nesta figures her life out on her own. Complete.
Truth of the Heart By TheFreakPanda
The months after ACOFAS leave Nesta presented with some new opportunities. Full of therapy and dancing. Completed.
I've Always Liked to Play with Fire by catalyste
After her village is destroyed and family killed by Hybern following Feyre's revenge mission, you wake up healed in the NC. After Lucien leaves you there, you find yourself trapped with Nesta Archeron, who turns out to be an unlikely ally. The two of you plan your escape with the help of Eris Vansera. Polly, Neris/reader, with IC bashing, and dragons. Incomplete.
The relapse by Janes_Melodies
Something broke in Nesta when she learned about the results of the vote, knowing it was a tie until Feyre. She was trying for her sisters and for Cassian, yet they still think she's cruel enough to create a whole new trove just to kill them all. For the first time in months, she gave into her desires. Incomplete. TW Alcoholism, Implied/referenced self harm, suicidal thoughts.
You're safe now by annieleonhardtsring
Rewrite of the scene where Nesta falls down the stairs, and Azriel stands up for her. Complete.
Love her how she should be loved by julemmaes
Cassian overhears his family making some not-so-subtle comments about Nesta, and it pushes him over the edge. So he goes to bat for her, blaming his friends for everything wrong with their relationship with his girlfriend. Modern AU completed.
The Nest World - The Next Life by bat_called_phil
ACOSF canon divergence fic that starts with the intervention, but diverts when Nesta takes a stand for herself, and Feyre starts holding Rhys accountable. TW Implied/referenced suicide, Implied/referenced abortion.
A Court of Spite and Isolation by xxTAO
Nesta choses the human lands, separated from the IC and the distractions from her trauma, she spirals. Incomplete (4/6) TW Suicidal thoughts, Implied/referenced alcoholism, Suicide attempt.
Come Home by Rhysanoodle
Cassian learns how Nesta's been living since she came to Illyria, and which fears haunt her the most. Complete.
Tears are powerful, but do you know what's more impactful? The struggle to hold them back. This post is for all your hard-hearted stoic characters who'd never shed a tear before another, and aims to help you make them breakdown realistically.
The Physical Signs of Holding Back Tears
Heavy Eyelids, Heavy Heart
Your character's eyelids feel weighted, as if the tears themselves are dragging them down. Their vision blursโnot quite enough to spill over, but enough to remind them of the dam threatening to break.
The Involuntary Sniffle
They sniffle, not because their nose is running, but because their body is desperately trying to regulate itself, to suppress the wave of emotion threatening to take over.
Burning Eyes
Their eyes sting from the effort of restraint, from the battle between pride and vulnerability. If they try too hard to hold back, the whites of their eyes start turning red, a telltale sign of the tears they've refused to let go.
The Trembling Lips
Like a child struggling not to cry, their lips quiver. The shame of it fuels their determination to stay composed, leading them to clench their fists, grip their sleeves, or dig their nails into the nearest surfaceโanything to regain control.
The Fear of Blinking
Closing their eyes means surrender. The second their lashes meet, the memories, the pain, the heartbreak will surge forward, and the tears will follow. So they force themselves to keep staringโat the floor, at a blank wall, at anything that wonโt remind them of why theyโre breaking.
The Coping Mechanisms: Pretending Itโs Fine
A Steady Gaze & A Deep Breath
To mask the turmoil, they focus on a neutral object, inhale slowly, and steel themselves. If they can get through this one breath, they can get through the next.
Turning Away to Swipe at Their Eyes
When they do need to wipe their eyes, they do it quickly, casually, as if brushing off a speck of dust rather than wiping away the proof of their emotions.
Masking the Pain with a Different Emotion
Anger, sarcasm, even laughterโany strong emotion can serve as a shield. A snappy response, a bitter chuckle, a sharp inhaleโeach is a carefully chosen defence against vulnerability.
Why This Matters
Letting your character fight their tears instead of immediately breaking down makes the scene hit harder. It shows their internal struggle, their resistance, and their need to stay composed even when theyโre crumbling.
This is written based off of personal experience as someone who goes through this cycle a lot (emotional vulnerability who?) and some inspo from other books/articles
Story Summary: You are the youngest Archeron sister, saved from the fate of the Cauldron by mere chance. Perhaps having been dumped in those murky waters would have been a better fate for you, when it seems that no one cares for your presence any longer.
Warnings: slut shaming, shitty inner circle (mostly Nesta and Elain), suicidal ideation
Words: ~ 4.2k
Author's Note: ahhhhh I hope you guys like this! I'm really hoping all of this makes sense lol I wrote it in one go. This idea came to me at work and you guys have already shown just the ideaaaa so much love ๐ซถ enjoy! I'm gonna go listen to Rosie by Rosรฉ nowww -- let me know if you guys want a part two!
18+ only pls
๐ค๐๐ค๐๐ค
Gone.
They were gone.
You had been out at the Reeson's home, being courted by their youngest son, Geoffrey. He was very polite, and even walked you back to the manor, your arms clasped together.
If you had to choose a suitor from the village you grew up in, Geoffrey would be the one. He was kind to you and your family, even in the depths of poverty.
It wasn't until you were in the manor, the door swinging shut behind you after you had bid Geoffrey farewell, that you saw it.
The carnage.
Every single maid and butler that you family employed... Slaughtered. Your father was already away on business, having gone to the Continent to meet with the Queens about the looming threat above the wall.
And your sisters... Nesta and Elain... Were missing.
You sprinted out of the manor after checking every room for your siblings, the hem of your pink gown soaked in blood, and ran to the inn in the center of town.
Thankfully the innkeep was kind enough to rent you a room on credit while the men of the night watch removed the bodies, burying them in the village graveyard.
Only a few days later, you were back in the manor, scrubbing every tile, panel, and piece of furniture to rid them of the horrors spilled upon them.
Your sisters were still missing. You had no idea of where they could be taken, besides over the wall, into the land of the fae.
But why? That's what you couldn't understand.
Not until three months later.
Three months later, you opened the door to the manor, met face to face with your youngest sister.
"Feyre!" You exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. She was stiff in your arms, pulling away only a moment later.
Fair enough, you thought. It has been quite a while since I last had the chance to hug her, her new senses may make them less comfortable.
"I was so worried, Nesta and Elain have been missing for months and the entire household staff was- was-" you sobbed, putting your face in your hands.
"Oh, Y/N, it's alright. Nesta and Elain are alive and safe," Feyre reassured you, gentle hands holding your shoulders as the knowledge of their safety calmed you. "But..."
"But...?" You asked, worry washing over you once more.
"I... Really, you should come with me and see for yourself..." Feyre trailed off. "Come to Velaris with me?"
You nodded immediately- if that's where your other sisters are and where Feyre is going, of course you would go. "Take me to them, please."
In the next moment, you were whipping through the fabric of reality, landing in a cozy sitting room.
Nesta and Elain were seated on the couch next to each other, Elain gazing out the window with a dazed look, and Nesta reading a novel of some kind, before her eyes snapped up to see the two of you.
Her eyes narrowed at you, filled with a silvery fire and so much hatred that you could hardly breathe-
Not human.
Fae.
Your other two sisters... are fae.
You blinked in confusion, looking to Feyre for answers.
"Nesta and Elain were... They were taken by Hybern and changed using the Cauldron, Y/N," Feyre whispered into your mind as she guided you out of the sitting room and into a kitchen, and you flinched at the sensation.
"I don't understand, Fey. What... When did all of this happen? What happened?"
Feyre sighed as she sat you at the dining table and began preparing tea. "The war that we warned you about the last time we visited? It happened... And the people we fought against used Nesta and Elain to prove the power of the Cauldron to the Mortal Queens by giving them the gift of being fae. And over the past three months, we fought long, arduous battles- but we prevailed. Elain and Nesta killed their vile king together after-" Feyre paused. "After he killed father."
Your eyes went wide and the world seemed to come to a stopping point-
"Father is-" a choked sob cut you off, tears streaming down your face. "He's dead?"
Feyre nodded, and you collapsed onto the table, sobbing.
You knew that your sisters didn't care much for your father- always saw him as a failure after losing the family's fortune. But you? You had loved him completely, clinging to the one parent that you had the blessing to know. You were so young when your mother passed, not even six years old when illness took her. You hadn't remembered much of the life of luxury the family used to lead, and were content to live in the small hut on the edge of the village, tending to your little herb garden and cooking the meals after Elain had taught you.
And so, you hadn't had the feelings of resentment that your elder sisters had towards him, instead loving each wooden carving your father would make you every year for your birthday.
They even made it into the manor, resting on your bedside table in your room.
And... And now he's dead? Just like that?
You had no idea how much time had passed when Feyre's hand smoothed over your upper back, a small gesture of comfort.
"Let me show you to your room, Y/N," Feyre said gently, her strong arms peeling you off of the table and into an upright position.
You blinked your watery eyes at her and nodded, and let your sister lead you upstairs and into a small bedroom, decorated in pale blues.
You didn't even have the energy to change out of your dress before you collapsed onto the bed into a crying heap, curling in on yourself as you mourned for the father you would never get to see again, never get to say goodbye to.
๐ค๐๐ค๐๐ค
The next few months were... Trying, to say the least.
You felt out of place.
At all times. In any setting. Even just sitting with Feyre, you felt like you didn't belong.
It's not that you didn't try to fit in.
You joined Feyre for physical training. There, you felt like you were holding her back- no, you knew you were holding her back. After all, you're only a human.
You brought Elain tea and food at regular intervals, trying to keep her strength up as she stared out the window, lost in her thoughts. You knew she could talk, she just... chose not to with you. That's fine, after all, you can't relate to her situation much. She most likely wants a more understanding ear.
You attempted to talk with Nesta, even sit in the same space at her. But with each time you tried, her fiery gaze grew more and more intense, until you felt she may actually burn you alive with the powers Feyre had informed you she now possessed.
It's not that the inner circle wasn't kind to you, or that they mocked you for your human-ness.
It's that at every moment, you felt different.
When you had your first cycle while living amongst fae, you had went about it as normal. Until breakfast that morning.
Nesta had been glaring at you particularly strongly that morning, until she finally broke. "Why don't you take your iron-scented self upstairs until we finish eating, hmm? I'd rather not feel ill while having breakfast," she snipped at you, her eyes widening in delight when you blushed profusely.
You had excused yourself immediately.
Feyre had explained it away later, telling you that feelings are amplified when you're turned fae.
Nesta never was too fond of you, as she had always blamed you for your mother's death and the subsequent loss of the family fortune. She thought that having you just under a year after having Feyre was what made her body susceptible to the diseases and illnesses running rampant in the village that fateful year.
It's not as though I chose to be born so soon...
Worse even than knowing that everyone around you could smell when your cycle hit... was their hearing.
You had... a small crush on Cassian, to say the least.
It had all started when he was kind to you one day at training, having taken over for Feyre while she was away for court business. He corrected your form gently, giving pointers for how to protect yourself better from blows.
Each gentle touch made your heart race, and the kind praise he gave you made your face flush.
It's not that you wanted to like him.
You couldn't help it.
He was so handsome and kind, and could always find a way to make you laugh, or at least smile. And he chose to talk to you, which was more than you could say for the rest of the inner circle.
On the first Winter Solstice you spent in Velaris, Feyre came into your room before breakfast.
"I wanted to talk to you..." Feyre started gently, sitting down on your bed next to you while you braided your hair.
"About what?" You asked, tying off the braid and turning to face your sister.
"Cassian."
Your cheeks heated in an instant, pulse quickening just at the mention of his name. "What about him?"
"I know that... I know you have a crush, Y/N, but you need to let it go," Feyre said softly, a careful hand placed on your arm.
"I- so what if I like him? It's not like I'm acting on it-"
"That's not what it's about, Y/N, it's that he and Nesta are mates," Feyre explained.
Mates?
"Oh, I-" you paused, a renewed sense of heat filling your face. "I don't even really like him like that, Fey, I just... I can't help how I react around him," you whispered, hoping beyond hope that no one else was listening in.
"Just try, okay? It's for the best, really, Y/N. Fae and humans aren't really... Meant to be," Feyre said, eyes looking away from you.
Oh. Of course. You're just a little human, of course a fae wouldn't be interested in you...
So you did. You did your absolute best to get over your reactions to Cassian, to stuff any possible feelings down, down, down.
Nothing was enough, though. Not even knowing that Cassian and Nesta were gone for an entire week, consummating the mating bond.
When they returned, you were sitting in the living room of the River House, staring into the fire and drinking a cup of tea.
That was the one activity you did that bothered no one.
But the moment you saw Cassian's handsome face, a soft smile on it thrown your way, your heartbeat picked up, color rushing to your cheeks.
Nesta heard it- of course Nesta would pick out its traitorous rhythm, her eyes narrowing at you, hands raised, silver flames spouting from them, pointed at you-
"Nesta," Cassian sighed, grabbing your sister by the forearms and pulling her attention to him. "Nesta, my love, only you matter to me. Pay her no mind," Cassian soothed, and the flames Nesta had conjured went out, though the fire in her eyes burned hotter than ever as she glared at you.
"Stay away from him, you little whore," Nesta hissed at you before pulling Cassian out of the room and into the kitchen, where the rest of your family was gathered.
You simply pulled your legs up onto the couch in front of you, wrapping your arms around them as you went back to gazing into the fire.
๐ค๐๐ค๐๐ค
The Spring Equinox came and went, bringing with it the return of Lucien, Elain's mate and Feyre's dear friend.
You were like a ghost these days, drifting down hallways with no destination in mind, just the desire to not bother anyone further.
You excused yourself from all family dinners beyond those you were expected to attend around holidays, thinking it would be easier to bear than the constant feeling of not belonging.
It wasn't.
But it was preferable to the burning weight of Nesta's hatred, and Elain's new distaste for you.
Training with Feyre had stopped months ago, her schedule becoming more hectic as she let Rhys pass some of the burdens of ruling off to her shoulders.
That was fine. You just wanted Feyre to succeed.
So you drifted around aimlessly, sometimes leaving the River House to walk along the Sidra and gaze longingly at couples in tea houses, or meandering through bookstores, running your fingers along the spines and wishing you could read one.
You found yourself back in front of the fireplace on a particularly warm spring day, sipping a cup of tea once again. You would have preferred to take it outside, but Elain was out tending her garden, and you didn't want to bother the one bit of peace she seemed to have.
Not that she was alone, anyways, but your presence always seemed to grate on people's nerves, making them less comfortable.
Lucien was out with her, offering to help her garden as he did every day he stopped by. By now he might have already presented her with whichever courting gift he had picked for her today.
Loud footsteps and then-
Lucien.
He gave you a soft smile, one that you returned.
"How are you today, Y/N?" Lucien asked, as he had taken to doing the last few visits.
"I'm well, thank you Lucien. How are you? Any luck with Elain?"
"No luck with the gardening, though today she accepted my courting gift: a bag of flower bulbs from the Day Court," Lucien said with a proud smile.
"Congratulations! Now you know what will get you into her heart," you said with a grin, truly happy for the male in front of you. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Thank you, Y/N, I would love one," Lucien replied, summoning a cup of his own and letting you pour out a helping of the lovely floral blend you had made into it. "I hope she will be open to pursuing the mating bond, or at the very least being friends..." He sighed. "What do you think?"
You blinked at him, surprised. "Me?"
"Yes, you," Lucien said playfully. "You are my mate's sister after all."
"Oh, well... I don't... We don't really talk much anymore," you explained. "I'm sorry."
Lucien merely shook his head at your apology. "No, don't apologize, Y/N, I was just hoping you may have more insight than I do. But enough about me, what have you been up to recently?"
"Oh, not much," you replied, wracking your brain for any activities you had done recently to not seem more useless than you already are. "I, uhm... I tried out a new soup recipe a few days ago, everyone seemed to like it..."
"Really? What kind?" Lucien asked, and you could almost believe that he was interested.
"It was a creamy soup, with sausage, potatoes, and-"
"What are you doing?!" Elain hissed, a pair of pruning shears pointed in your direction. "First you go after Nesta's mate, and now mine?" She seethed, stalking towards the two of you. Elain walked past Lucien and held the shears up to your face. "Get out, you whore. Stay away from my mate!"
You were up in an instant, flying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You locked the door behind you, but you knew that if Elain wanted to get in, she could.
She would probably cut my head off with the shears...
You grabbed a spare blanket off of the chair in your room, as well as a pillow from your bed and made your way into the bathroom, where you curled into yourself in the bathtub.
No reason to make more of a mess when she does decide to kill you...
๐ค๐๐ค๐๐ค
Seven months.
Seven months and no one noticed that you had completely withdrawn, only leaving your bedroom when you absolutely had to.
No longer did you attempt to cook dinner for the inner circle. Not that they had ever liked what you made anyways...
No longer did you take your walks along the Sidra.
No longer did you sit in front of the fireplace, sipping tea and taking up as little space as possible.
But Bounty Day was coming up. The one holiday that you had cared was nearly here, and you wanted to celebrate it the way your family never had.
You wanted to roast a turkey and a boar, mash potatoes and sautรฉ green beans. You wanted to try your hand at the delicious cheese and pasta dish Feyre adored from Sevenda's. You wanted to bake and bake and bake, until there was one of everyone's favorite desserts available.
You just needed permission. Which was why you were standing outside of Feyre's study door, hand poised to knock.
"Come in, Y/N," Feyre said from inside, loud enough that even your ears could hear her.
You peeked in sheepishly, eyes landing on where Feyre's hand was gliding across a sheet of paper, writing something out.
"Is this a bad time?" You asked quietly, wondering if you should have just stayed in your room.
Feyre sighed, and set down her quill. "No, not at all. Come in, sit, Y/N."
You did as she said, taking a seat in the low backed leather chair in front of her desk. "I... I wanted to run an idea by you...?"
"What kind of idea?" Feyre asked wearily.
"Well... Bounty Day is coming up, I thought... I thought it would be nice for all of us to celebrate. As a family."
Feyre blinked at you, her eyes losing some of their clarity for a few seconds, a look that you knew meant she was conversing with her mate. "I suppose that would be doable, Y/N, I'll make sure everyone knows. We would only be able to have it at the House of Wind, though, there's a few things that need to be done around here before we host a holiday."
A spark of hope lit up in your chest. "That would be perfect, Fey!"
Feyre smiled at you. "You can have Nuala and Cerridwen help you purchase everything, and with any preparation or cooking if you'd like."
"That would be very helpful, I'll make sure to ask them for their help and input."
"Good, I'm glad that that's settled. Did you need anything else from me?" Feyre had already picked her quill up again, continuing whatever thought you had stopped her in before.
"Oh, no. I'll be fine, thank you Feyre."
You felt... Dismissed. But at least you have permission to celebrate the day.
Over the next week, you worked tirelessly to get the ingredients you needed, even asking the meat vendors for a fae-palate worthy recipe.
You were sure your old recipes would be no good... Each one you had made for the inner circle was met with thinly veiled disgust.
And Sevenda's recipe- you were so thankful that the other female had taken pity on you and given you a copy of her recipe after you promised to share it with no one, ever.
Cerridwen had helped you read each recipe, both of you making sure that you knew the recipes by heart so you wouldn't have to rely on the mess of letters that you were no closer to understanding than you were before your family's status had changed.
Slowly but surely, you were putting together a feast that would put the one you had two years ago in the mortal lands to shame.
As you had hoped, you made a favorite dessert of each inner circle member, nine in total. You just hope that they don't go uneaten, or with only a small slice out of each one...
You woke at dawn that morning, pulling yourself into the bath and getting clean before you donned a cream colored dress, cut in the current human fashion. You had yet to wear a piece of Night Court fashion, feeling much more comfortable covered up, hidden.
Nuala shadow-walked you up to the House, a change of clothes in the bag over your shoulder. She only left when you insisted that you had the cooking covered and that you would be fine.
All day, you worked to bring Bounty Day to life around you, the delicious smells of roasting meats filling the House.
You hadn't felt so at peace in... A long while. Before your sisters were taken. Perhaps even before Feyre was taken...
Afternoon came and went in a blur of basting the turkey and turning the boar roast over the fire, your body flushed from the blazing heat as you worked.
As the final hour rolled around, you were able to change into your formal dress, a calf length pale pink wrap dress with long sleeves. You had picked this dress out months ago with Feyre, when she had insisted you needed to buy clothing of your own, and find things that you liked. This one, you liked. It was your favorite color, and the fabric was buttery soft under your fingers. You pulled on some slippers in a matching color and made your way back to the main hall, where you set the table meticulously, making sure everything was in its correct place.
Now for the most difficult part, in your opinion: transferring everything to the dining table without it cooling off too quickly.
You moved the food as fast as you were able, the turkey and boar left in the kitchen until the last moment, when you would have one of the males carve them for you.
Six o'clock rolled around, the time Feyre had agreed to, and no one had arrived. You poured yourself a small glass of wine and took a seat at the table, slowly sipping your drink as you waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The food was lukewarm now, at seven.
The anxiety pooling in your gut had you back in the kitchen, carving meat from bone until your hands were sore.
Still, no one had arrived when you brought the platters of meat onto the table, a feast laid out with no one to eat it.
At eight, you were exhausted. Exhausted from working yourself more than you had in months. Exhausted from hoping, only for those hopes to be extinguished so quickly. Exhausted from living in a place you don't belong.
You sighed and pushed yourself out of your chair. On tired legs, you made your way to the front door of the House.
No way in hell would you be accused of trying to steal someone's mate again, accused of lying in wait all night to seduce Cassian if you were to stay in one of the guest rooms.
So the ten thousand steps down was your only choice.
The first thousand was easy enough, though the wind had chilled you to the bone already, the night's icy fingers extending around your heart as well.
By the time you were halfway down, you sobbed with each step.
How? How could they have all forgotten? Even Feyre...
On numbed legs, you finished your descent. But where to now...?
The only place you could belong was the River House... The only place in Prythian that you could ever belong, as a human.
You sniffled and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, attempting to keep any amount of warmth in your body as you carefully walked across the icy path along the Sidra.
The wind was bitter here too, but you had the babble of water to keep you company, the most pleasant friend you had.
The River House came in to view, lit up from within with bursts of faelight. The chimney let out pleasant puffs of smoke, a clear sign people are inside.
You stopped in your tracks.
Past Elain's garden and through the back window of the River House, you could see them.
All of them.
They were sat around the dining table, eating and drinking merrily together, enjoying each other's company.
And then there was you. Half-frozen from the weather and completely iced over inside.
You don't belong here.
Your body turned on its own, your mind so wrapped in itself that you hardly noticed where you were going.
All you knew was you needed out.
Out of this city.
Out of this life you were forced into.
Out of this family.
You need out.
Your feet carried you to the edge of Velaris, the exit of the city that lead to the wilds of the Night Court.
You don't belong in Prythian. You belong in the human lands.
The boundary of Velaris passed under your feet as you continued walking, hardly feeling anything at all now.
Your fingers were numb, as were your toes and bottoms of your feet. Your arms were nearing the same sensation.
Good.
Perhaps the numbness that had overtaken your heart would consume the rest of you.
The only person left who cared, doesn't care now.
You don't care, not anymore.
general taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria @meritxellao
summary: azriel never regretted his decisions so much like he does right now.
warnings: angst (like a lot), fluff (also a lot because we need a balance)
pairings: azriel x reader, azriel x elain, lucien x reader
words: 6k
you were born in day court during the longest and the warmest day of the year โ summer solstice.
even though it's not a custom to exchange gifts on that holiday, your parents always told you that you were their greatest gift and that the sun shined brighter that day like he knew that you would be entering this world very soon.ย
your father was helion's best and longest friend, and he had a place in his court as his second in command and advisor.ย
your mother was the lead healer of the court. she was one of the most powerful and talented healers of prythian, being a very close second to madja.ย
due to your parents' jobs, you grew up in the day court palace and close to helion, who didn't just happen to be your high lord but also your godfather.ย
your parents reconsider that maybe making helion your godfather had been a mistake because of how much he spoiled you.
on your 4th birthday, he gave you a black baby pegasus as a present, which you decided to name him blackjack.
when he discovered that you liked reading, he had a private library built in your room with all kinds of books.
when you were seven and heard an old male saying that females should only wear dresses, you only wore pants for the next three months and of course, helion made sure you had every type of pants at your disposal.ย
when your parents tried to scold him, he just scoffed with his only response being, 'she's my goddaughter. what else am i supposed to do?' with a big grin plastered in his face.
you weren't helion's child, but he always treated you like one, and that never changed, especially after your parents' death.ย
your favorite thing about your parents was their mating bond. after you learned that mates are rare and a blessing, it made every single thing about your parents' love even more unique and pure.
you saw first hand what true love is really like. you saw how much they loved, cared, supported, and protected each other.
you saw loyalty and honesty in their deepest forms. seeing your parents' mating bond made you wish to the stars for a mate, and that one day, you would be blessed enough to find him.ย
but you also saw how deep a mating bond could go โ you saw it first hand, too.
you saw it when your mother died after getting infected by a rare disease while trying to help her patients.
her death destroyed your father. the pain and the grief of losing your mother โ his mate, and the love of his life were so big that your father followed her into the next life a few days later, so they could start their next journey together.
before he died, your father made helion promise him that he would take care of you, which he agreed without hesitation.
he became more protective of you. he couldn't stop thinking how unfair it was for you to lose your parents at such a young age, only eleven years old, when helion had them for centuries.
your godfather made sure to provide you with anything you needed from the best education to the best clothes, and when your healing powers start manifesting and you decide to follow your mother's steps, helion called in a favor to thesan to see if he could teach you himself.
the high lord of dawn was happy to accept, and so were you at the thought of having him as your teacher.
you moved to dawn court for a year where you learned everything about being a healer, not only with the high lord himself but also with his best healers.ย
you became one of the best โ talented, powerful, gifted, and wise. just like your mother.
madja was looking for an apprentice at the time you returned to day, and when she heard about your skills, she asked for you.
rhysand reached out to helion with madja's offer โ you would be her apprentice,ย work in the clinic with her but you would also assist her if she ever needed to go to a patient's residence, and would learn everything she could teach you.ย
it wasn't needed to convince you to agree. you had heard about madja and her healing, after thesan, she was the healer you wanted to work with the most, so of course you were more than happy to have a chance to have her as your mentor.
rhysand added that you would be welcome to stay in one of his personal residences, the house of wind, during your stay in velaris.
you were only supposed to stay in the night court for a year, but that was before you met the shadowsinger.ย
however, despite wanting the apprenticeship more than anything, if you had known what would happen when you agreed to go to the night court, you would never have accepted the offer.
โขโขโข
azriel couldn't sleep.
no matter how much he tried, he couldn't. not with tomorrow so close, not when he knew what was waiting for him in the morning.ย
the past was haunting him tonight, his thoughts hadn't stopped since he had been informed earlier of tomorrow's meeting.
so now, here he was, trying to keep his eyes open even though his body was protesting for him to do the opposite.
but he was fighting that need because every time he closed his eyes, you were all he saw.
your beautiful face with your sparkling eyes, your smooth hair, your pointy ears, your sweet voice, and your soft laughter.
you were haunting his thoughts like a punishment for all those years ago.ย
so all he could do now was to sit on the edge of his balcony with his legs hanging off while waiting for the sun to be born, and remember how things used to be before he destroyed everything.
ย โขโขโข
everything was perfect in the beginning.
velaris was beautiful, the people were kind, and the pastries were absolutely delicious.ย
the only thing you actually missed, besides helion, was the warmth of the sun like no other court had but the day court โ that was just the day citizen in you talking.
your apprenticeship was going amazing. you and madja had instantly connected, and you were learning so much.
two weeks later, you were already attending your own patients without supervision.
you really had a gift, and every time madja complimented your powers, you gave all the credits to your genes โ to your mom.
it warmed your heart knowing that the mother had blessed you with this part of her. In this way, it felt like she was always with you.
the house of wind felt just like home, and you adjusted perfectly.
the inner circle had welcomed you with open arms, and you got along with everyone. they thought you and mor would be the closest of all, but they got a big surprise when it turned out to be you and azriel.
the shadowsinger was different from everyone you ever met.
everyone in day was so loud, extroverted and open.
but not him.
he was calm, reserved, and difficult to read, but with time, you ended up finding out that the two of you were more alike than you thought. you were able to go through the shell that azriel had so perfectly built around him over the centuries.ย
a friendship was born.
every day, qzriel would fly you to the clinic and then back to the house. you explored velaris together and made your personal mission to try every single restaurant and bakery from the city of starlight.ย
you walked along the sidra and even stopped once in a while to dance along the melodies that the musicians were playing. you would read together whether that was in the library, in your room, or in his. you even started training with him and sometimes, cassian.
you became each other's person.ย
when a day at the clinic was hard or you would lose a patient, he was there to hug and comfort you, and you found yourself doing the same for him about his missions.
so you decided to take the next step and spoke about your parents' death, how much still affected you losing them.
and in that moment, azriel realized how much trust you put in him, so he decided to return it and opened about his past, his family, and his hands. you listened to every word, cleaned every tear, and held him for as long as he needed.
tou found yourself falling in love with him a little more day by day, and it only took you a few months to realize that you were completely in love.
the day the bond snapped was one of the happiest days of your life.
it happened during the most beautiful celebration in the night court โ starfall.
your hair was tied in a long braid that reached down to your waist, decorating the braid were small yellow daylilies.
you were wearing a golden dress that fit perfectly against your sun-kissed skin. the dress had a slit on the left side that went up to the top of your thigh, a single strap held the dress on your right shoulder and when you turned around, whoever was behind you could have a perfect view of your naked back.
golden jewels rested on your ears and neck.ย
you looked like a goddess โ one blessed by the sun itself.
you were shining just like a day court citizen should.
azriel standed next to you in the balcony while gazing at the spirits passing.
both of your hands rested on the stone of the balcony, and when you went to adjust your hand, it brushed against azriel's.
at the new feeling, you looked up to find his eyes, only to see the shadowsinger already looking at you.
in that moment, with the touching of your hands and the meeting of your eyes, the world stopped.
your hands start interviewing, and everything else just disappeared.
it was just the two of you and the sound of your heartbeats. and then, a golden thread appeared and started tying your hearts and souls.
azriel held your free hand and pressed it against his own chest, right where his heart laid.
you followed his action, freeing your intertwined hands and putting his hand on your chest, above your heart.ย
with the final loop of the golden thread around your hearts, azriel bent down and kissed you.ย
that moment couldn't be more beautiful and magical even if you tried.
you had finally found the mate that you had wished to the stars all those years ago.ย
everything was perfect.
you had everything you wanted and more.
you lived in a beautiful city that you learned to love and were starting to call it home.ย
you had the job of your life, working alongside one of your idols.ย
amazing friends that made you feel welcomed and part of a little family.
and finally, your mate, the male you were in love with, long before that beautiful and sacred golden thread.
everything was perfect.
but of course, nothing lasts forever.
and all of that disappeared when elain archeron came into the picture.
โขโขโข
ten years.
he couldn't believe that much time had passed. all those years without you.
it had been ten years since the last time he saw you.
ten years since he had heard something regarding you.
ten years since he had broken your heart.
and ten years since he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence.
you had moved back to day court after that day, after what happened and after what he did.ย
the high lord of day had forbidden azriel from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way.
and months later, when the rumors of a certain shadowsinger flying above the palace in hopes to get a glimpse of you reached his ears, helion banned him from his court.
helion had always been a very charismatic and loving person.
he's kind, generous, and a very good friend. He gets along with almost everyone, always joking around and laughing.ย
some people may say that he's the nicest and kindest high lord that prythian has ever seen.ย
when problems arise, he always tries to find a solution to solve them or if a solution is not possible, a way to improve them.
but not this time.
not when it comes to you and his son โ Lucien.
because your heart wasn't the only one to be shattered that day.
no.
lucien's heart was a victim, too.
so, from that moment, everything that helion did was to protect you and lucien.
to make sure that you felt safe, that you had space and time to heal.
azriel's banishment wasn't the only consequence from the events of that day.
that day also cost the alliance between the day court and the night court, and when the alliance fell apart, so did helion and rhysand's friendship.
but azriel wasn't the only one to blame for all of this.
elain archeron was guilty, too.
she, too, was banished from the day court and forbidden to contact lucien in any way.
but unlike azriel, elain's actions cause far more consequences than his.ย
the autumn court followed the same decisions as the day court.
the banishment of azriel and elain and the prohibition of any kind of contact with lucien.
eris, now the new high lord of the autumn court after beron's death, didn't take lightly to what happened to his little brother.ย
the two of them had reconnected after eris became high lord.
they talked through everything that had happened in the last centuries, made peace with their past, and decided to move forward together.
now, the brothers were inseparable and had the kind of relationship they had always wanted since they were younger.
so when eris heard what had happened, he considered those actions as a personal attack.ย
he went as far as to offer lucien the opportunity to choose the blood duel, which his little brother refused, saying that all of this had already caused enough pain.
eris wasn't angry just because of lucien.
he was angry because of you, too.
you were the first person to give him the benefit of the doubt, the first one to not judge him and unlike the others you tried to get to know him, to be his friend and he let you.ย
6ou were the first one to know the real eris, to know what he hid behind the mask.
therefore, you had a special place in his heart. even if you didn't share the same blood, you were part of his family.
but that didn't stop with day and autumn. spring joined them, too.ย
despite everything that happened and the fact that they were still working on their friendship, tamlin's loyalty remained with lucien.
spring had been lucien's home for decades, and with that came a brotherhood between the two of them.ย
needless to mention that jurian and vassa's loyalties also remained with lucien.
to everyone outside the situation, all of this may seem overreacted and exaggerated.
but to everyone involved, it's not.
after all, you and lucien almost died.
that's what happens when a mating bond is rejected.
โขโขโข
azriel couldn't believe things had turned out this way.
he was so sure that the cauldron was wrong, that he belonged with Elain.
three sisters for three brothers.
how more poetic could it be?
there were signals everywhere.
feyre with rhysand.
nesta with cassian.
elain with him.
elain wouldn't go close to lucien or talk to him, but she would sit next to him whether during dinners or on the couch, she would talk to him, and requested his company when she went to the garden or to the city.
even his shadows disappeared every time he was with her.
weren't those signals clear enough?
they were meant to be.
the cauldron was wrong.ย
so azriel did what he thought was right.
he rejected the mating bond with you, and elain did the same with lucien.ย
he never thought that the rejection of the bond would've almost cost your life.
that memory still gave him nightmares to this day.
how pale you turned, how you sank to your knees with your hand pressed against your chest, tears running free down your cheeks and muffled screams leaving your lips.
how much pain you had suffered and how he had been the cause of it.
how once, not that long ago, he had been the reason for your smiles, laughs, and giggles.
but that memory wasn't his.
it was rhysand's.
rhys, who had to go through your mind shields, and knock you unconscious so the pain would stop and that memory led him to another memory.ย
the memory of that day and the things that had followed after he shattered your heart.
โขโขโข
azriel wasn't there the moment it happened.
no, he was too busy kissing elain after admitting how much they craved each other.ย
and while he kissed elain, he felt that golden thread tying the two of you breaking and start slowly to disappear.
nothing could have prepared him for that last memory of you when he and elain were summoned to the river house a few hours later.
rhys had shown him not as a courtesy but as a lesson of how much his actions can affect others.
but you weren't just some other.
you were his mate โ former mate.
azriel made a move to go find you.
he needed to explain it to you, and he needed you to understand, but you were already gone.
rhys told him that after you regained consciousness, lucien took you with him back to day court.ย
lucien.
who you had become instantly friends with since the male's arrival in velaris.
you had treated him just like you were when you moved to the night court.
you showed him the city, the good restaurants and the best pastries, and also told him about Helion, now that he knew the high lord was his father and he was his heir.
you wanted him to feel like home, just like you did.ย
when Azriel made his intentions clear to go to day and find you, rhys showed him the letter helion had sent.
the one that forbidden him from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way.
the one that also had the same indications to elain regarding lucien.
and that if any of them tried to disobey his orders, there would be consequences.
azriel knew of protective the male was of you and that he would do anything to protect his family, so for a split second, azriel found himself fearing the high lord.ย
rhysand also ordered them to stay away from the two of you, stating that they had already created enough problems and the night court could not afford a war with day.ย
after they left his office, rhys sat down on his chair, trying to think how he was gonna solve this.
his mind kept going back to you and lucien.ย
he was there when lucien came for you.
the red headed male was also pale and every few minutes, his hand would press to his chest in pain, his eyes were still red, probably from the tears he had shed.
rhys knew that Helion's letter wouldn't be the only one he would receive that day.
and like he was right, three more letters arrived during it.
first from autumn, then spring and the last one from the band of exiles.ย
rhys passed a hand through his black hair and released a long sigh.
azriel and elain actions had just cost four allies to the night court.
โขโขโข
when you and lucien arrived in day, helion almost fell to his knees at your sight.
you were in lucien's arms, your eyes half open with tears still following down your cheeks.
one of your hands was against your chest, rubbing small circles in a way of trying to get rid of the pain.
lucien wasn't much better.
helion headed towards you and started examining you for injuries, but he found nothing.
when confusion made his way to his features, Lucien told him everything.
the confusion was replaced by anger, but the anger wasn't just directed towards the shadowsinger and the middle archeron sister.
some of it was towards himself.ย
towards himself, because seeing you like that, helion felt that he had broken the promise he made to your dad and that this was his fault.
without giving time for any more thoughts to fill his mind, helion led lucien to your room, where the heir laid you on the bed.
you had fallen asleep in his arms with your cheeks still stained.ย
lucien sat on the chair by your desk that was placed in front of your bed and said to Helion that he would stay with you.
helion gave him a firm nod, remembering that lucien didn't have a room yet in his palace, but he was about to fix that.
helion didn't waste any time after making sure that the two of you were okay for now.ย
he called two of his servants to prepare a room for the young heir and went straight to his office where he wrote the letter and sent it to rhysand.
the next week's were a complicated ones but showed that time was the best healer.ย
you no longer spend the days locked in your room alone.
you started to eat properly again and went back to work.
day by day, you were smiling more, sometimes making jokes.
lucien improved as well.
he decided to live in the day court for the time being and took his place as helion's second in command.
his relationship with helion was also getting stronger over time.
they were making up for the lost time.
but that wasn't the only thing that changed. your relationship with lucien also changed.
you got closer than ever, due to the fact you were the only ones who knew what the other was going through.
you found comfort in each other's presence and started spending more time together to the point where you became each other's favorite person.ย
little by little, you start helping each other heal.
you started putting back together the pieces that had been broken, and the pain started slowly fading until the day that it didn't hurt anymore.
you two mended your hearts and souls, and for the first time, in a long time, you were full again.
your friendship grew, and so did your feelings for each other.
โขโขโข
azriel couldn't believe how wrong he had been.
because the cauldron wasn't wrong, it had never been wrong.ย
he was the one who was wrong โ right from the beginning.
he and elain had tried a relationship after yours and lucien's departure.
it worked for six months until it didn't.
azriel questioned himself why the relationship was starting to fail and why being with elain was starting to feel wrong.
it didn't take him too long to understand the reason. It was because she wasn't you.
he found out that the reason his shadows disappear every time he was with elain wasn't because they were destined but because they were with you.ย
his shadows would leave him and elain to go find you, like they were stating that they wouldn't betray you, that they chose you.
on the day he broke up with elain, he found his shadows in your old room, which once was filled with colors, books, paintings, and light, and now was empty, dusty, and dark.
the shadows were swimming around your starfall dress โ the one you wore on the day your bond had snapped.
the sight of the dress was painful, and he understood why it had been left behind.
azriel had tried to apologize.
he flew to day court and around the palace trying to find you but he never did and the next day helion sent a letter with his and elain's banishment, making autumn and spring to make the same decision.ย
he understood why.
they were trying to protect you and lucien, and even though he didn't have the right, he just wanted to know if you were okay.
he asked rhys several times if he knew something about you, and thys revealed to him that you weren't talking to him or the other members of the inner circle either.
you had stated that it was too early and still very painful.ย
so they respected your decision and kept their distance.ย
that had caused azriel's guilt to grow even more.
how he wished for nesta to still have her powers so he could go back in time and repair all of this.
the light of the sun broke his thoughts.
the sun was finally making its appearance in the orange and yellow sky.ย
azriel released a long breath and looked at the clock perched on his bedroom wall.ย
the morning was here, and he was only two hours away from seeing you.
โขโขโข
the inner circle stood at the entrance of the day court palace.ย
helion had lifted the banishment for this meeting with yours and lucien consent.
both of you said that it had been a long time and that the past should stay in the past, but that didn't mean you would be accepting any apologies today.
koschei was on the rise again, and prythian needed to come together once more.
right now, your past didn't matter.
the doors swung open, and the inner circle made their way inside.
a servant led them to the conference room located in the same hallway as helion's office on the first floor of the palace.
they sat at the marble table while the servant informed them, "the high lord will be here in a few minutes."
receiving a nod and a 'thank you' from rhysand, the servant left.
rhys started, "y/n and lucien will also be in this meeting. now, helion was nice enough to allow the two of you back here, so do not ruin this."
he finished while looking at azriel and elain, making them both nod their heads.
helion entered the room, and the inner circle raised from their seats.
the high lord of the day court made his way to the head of the table.
he turned to the side where rhys and his inner circle stood, offering his hand to rhys to shake it.
taken by surprise, rhys needed a few seconds to process what was happening before accepting his hand.
once they had shaken hands, everyone returned to their seats, but not before helion sent a disapproving look in azriel's and elain's direction.
a few minutes into the meeting, the door to the conference room opened again.
and there you were.ย
you were dressed in day attire. a beautiful white dress that hugged your body, with your hair loosen and golden jewelry adorned your neck and ears.
lucien was by your side also wearing day attire, one that matched helion's, with your hand in his.
the inner circle held their breaths at your sight.
it had been ten years, but all the memories came flashing back to them.ย
you looked the same, but when you two approached the table, that's when they saw it and shock spread all over their faces.
azriel couldn't believe what he was seeing.
he didn't know what he was expecting to see at this meeting, but it wasn't this.
it wasn't the golden ring that you and lucien had matching on your left hands informing him that you were married that shocked him.
it was the small and round belly that your free hand was resting on and the sweet vanilla scent that was filling the air โ the scent of yours and lucien's baby.ย
"apologies for our delay," lucien started, then looking in your direction with a smile continued "someone had a big appetite this morning," he ended with a laugh.
you looked at his gaze, a genuine smile on your lips "shut up," you whispered.
lucien grabs the back of your chair, pulling it to give you enough space to sit. "thank you, my love."
you said while watching him take the seat at your right, making you stay seated between him and Helion.
for the first time since you entered the room, you looked at the people in front of you. "night court," you greeted with a small smile.ย
feyre was the first to say, "congratulations, y/n and lucien."ย
lucien spoke this time. "thank you, feyre." he rested his hand on your belly.
"how far long are you?" rhysand's voice reached your ears.
looking in his direction, you answered, "23 weeks. lucien thinks it's a girl, but i think it's a boy," you added, making rhys smile.
"i always took you for a boy mom." amren's voice surprised you and couldn't help but smile at her words.
"congratulations to you two. the mother knows you deserve it." she finished with a genuine smile.
lucien looked at azriel and elain before directing his eyes to the ancient one "yes, we do. thank you, amren."
lucien paused for a second before turning in helion's direction and continuing. โlet's not keep holding on to the meeting. please go on, father."ย
helion proceeded with the meeting, but azriel didn't listen to a word that was said.
he couldn't tear his eyes from you and lucien.ย
there was no doubt of the love you two shared, not when it was written in both of your eyes.
he didn't miss Lucien caresing your belly and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, passing his thumb over your jaw, and kissing your cheek after.
or how you rested your right hand on top of his on your belly while your left passed through his long red hair before resting around his shoulders and your smile while doing it.
what bigger proof did he need of your love if not for the baby you were carrying?
lucien's baby, he kept telling himself.
not his.
lucien's.
jealousy invaded his body, but there was nothing he could do.
he made his decision ten years ago, and now he had to live with it.
lost in his thoughts, he only realized the meeting was over when everyone started standing.
rhys and helion were finishing talking, and when the doors opened one more time, eris vanserra walked in with a little ginger boy in his arms.
he couldn't be more than five years old.
he looked exactly like lucien, except for his eyes โ those were yours.ย
azriel's heart sank, and it sank even more a few seconds later, when the little boy spotted you and lucien.
you already had a baby and you were about to have your second.
with a big smile appearing on his sweet face, the little boy almost shouted, "mommy! daddy!"
the boy jumped from his uncle's arms and ran to you.
you bend down and gather the happy boy in your arms before standing again and passing a hand through his ginger curls and saying, "hi, baby."
you peppered his face with kisses, making him laugh even more. "i thought you were having fun with your uncle," you said, looking at your brother in law.
your son pouted โuncle eris doesn't know how to play. he only wants to do the boring stuff, mommy.โ
everyone in the room chuckled. eris gasped with fake hurt โexcuse me?โ
โelijah.โ lucien chuckled and said to your son after joining your side โdon't be rude to your uncle.โย
โbut itโs the truth, daddy.โ elijah hid his face on your neck.ย
eris approached the little family with a smile directed to his nephew. "sorry. i tried to keep him entertained, but he just kept asking about you two."ย
lucien noticed his older brother had paint and glitter on his white shirt and laughed at the thought of his son giving him a hard time before exclaiming, "it's alright, brother. we were about to leave anyway."ย
the little boy settled in your arms and rested his head against yours, lucien started rubbing his back.
when the little boy caught the sight of his grandfather, he asked before anyone could stop him "grandpa, how was the meeting with the idiots from the night court?"ย
the room went quiet, and a few gasps escaped.
at your son's words, you turned to look at Helion, now on mom's mood. "helion! how many times do we have to tell you not to speak like that in front of him?"ย
the room erupted in laughter at your statement.ย
the air became lighter, and helion put his hands in surrender, promising you that it wouldn't happen again.ย
you gave him an incredulous look, saying that you didn't believe him.
your son wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and rested his head on your shoulder with a yawn leaving his lips.ย
you rubbed your son's back while speaking to him. "C'mon, elijah. let's leave before your grandfather comes up with a new bad word for you to learn."ย
โbad grandpaโ your son agreed with you while earning new chuckles from the night court.ย
even though he was trying to hold his smile, azriel failed. your son was too adorable.
you turned your gaze to the inner circle and gave them a smile. "it was good to see you all."ย
"you too, y/n. i missed you." cassian replied.
your smile stretched before telling him, "i missed you too, cass."ย
the nickname made his heart ache โ maybe there's still a chance for you to reconnect.
you turned to look behind you, meeting your husband's eyes "you're coming, lu?"ย
a pink blush made its way to lucien's cheeks "of course, my love."
the heir looked at his father, "we'll see you at dinner, father. night court." he said, giving the inner circle a small nod before joining you and wrapping his arm around your waist and giving a kiss to your now sleeping son.
amren spoke again โsee i told you were a boy mom.โ
โyou're right. if this baby happens to be a boy as well, i'm gonna be in trouble.โ you replied with an arm holding your son and while the other made its way to your belly.
โno, you're not. you're gonna be great.โ nesta spoke, a genuine smile on her lips โwe already can see you are.โ she gestured to the little boy sleeping in your arms.ย
โthank you, nes.โ you were grateful for her words.
on your way out, you met azriel's eyes, but you couldn't find the words, so you simply gave him a nod with a small smile, and azriel returned the gesture.
when the door closed, amren was the first to break the silence "well, the mother has a sense of humor."ย
everyone turned to look at her, but she focused her gaze on azriel and elain.
"you rejected them because you believed you belonged with one another only for your relationship to fail six months later. and now," she released a laugh, "your former mates found their way towards each other. fell in love, got married, have a son, and have another baby on the way. ironic isn't it?" she said with the feline smile returning to her lips.ย
it was helion who spoke next, amusement all over his face, "indeed. i guess karma is a bitch."
he sent a disapproving look one more time in the direction of the two people who almost cost him his family before exiting the room.
amren's and Helion's words stung, but azriel knew it was nothing but the truth. He realized in that moment that despite your life now and how things turned out, you would never forgive him.
he had lost you forever, and now he had to live with regret for the rest of his life.
after all, you were no longer his.ย
a/n: thank you for reading! i'm thinking in making a general taglist so if you wish to be added let me know.
Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me
~ ๐๐๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฅ ~ Series Masterlist
Summary: Adelaide was Rhysand's lover for over 300 years, she had planned on spending her whole existence with him. Technically she did, for it was only in her last moments that he betrayed her. But death isn't the end of her story, only the beginning.
Pairings: Eventual Azriel x OC, Rhysand x OC (past)
Summary: With time Azriel's feelings grow and become clearer. He struggles with the dilemma of revealing the bond to his lover and leaving it upto fate.
A/N: This is an experimental piece of work. I'm testing a writing style, so feedback is welcome. I've read this so many times for edits and I'm not even sure if it's any good. I appreciate all the love for Absolution, and this one offers a glimpse to their relationship in the past.
@theflowerswillbloom for you, love. Hope you enjoy.
Word count: ~5k
Warning: 18+ NSFW, intimacy+angst+smut, f!pleasures, p in v. [too many he/she/names??]
Documenting, filing, and cataloguingโthe simplest of tasks for a seasoned Spymasterโshould have taken no more than a few hours at best. And yet, Azriel glared at the stacks of paperwork sitting on his desk. As soon as he arrived home, he set out to clear them in hopes of sneaking out before any of his brothers pestered him about his recent disappearances, not that his affair was a secret. Half a day later, there he was in his gloomy office with nerves on edge.ย
A simple mission of surveillance had turned into a hunt of hostile outliers along the southern borders, stealing weeks from him. Luckily, he hadnโt promised N an early return. He felt guilty nonetheless for leaving her with no word.
A sadistic part of his heart wondered if she cared about himโlying awake in bed, listening for footsteps on her stairs, or rushing home to see if he was waiting for her.
Once, he returned from a similar mission earlier than expected and let his shadows stalk her for two days to see how she spent the days without him. That night, Azriel decided he was a twisted man.
Sometime after noon, he accepted his fate. He had half a mind to fling the papers into Sidra and run to Nโs smithy to surprise her. How childish of him. A grown man excited to watch his loverโs face break into a kaleidoscope of emotions. N wouldnโt run into his arms, he knew, like the romantics fantasised. She was not a woman of such calibre.ย
N embraced every fleeting moment with a nonchalance that bordered on lethargy. And it seeped into their relationship as well. She loved him simplyโwith her generous compliments, intentional touches, and domestic ease around him. She always had a smile for him. Her hands always found his hair or cheek when they lay in bed together. Sometimes, they ventured as far as his scarred ones, brought them to her lips that delivered the faintest of kisses before she drifted to sleep. Her words were nothing but genuine and certain.ย
Azriel could vividly see the expression on her face if he materialised before her. She would look at him with sincere eyes, bright as the morning sun, and the corners of her lips would tug into a smile. โSo how long do I get to keep you this time?โ she would tease.
Maybe, Azriel thought, that is enough.
Knowing she missed him dearly enough to mock his departure every time. But she also kissed him every time, she held him to her chest every time, and she looked him in the eye when they made love every time.
A cool shade fell over the room. His eyes strained to find the lines and curves he marked in black. Sweat trickled from behind his ears. Gone was the unforgiving sun crisping anything that dared set foot on the ground. With a roar of thunder that shook every stone in the walls, rains poured down. N. Azriel gathered the papers away in no order and left for the one place he knew her to be.ย
Standing in front of the locked doors, he felt like a fool. The rain beat down on his leathers, mocking him. The heat from the forge radiated out of the grilled window. She was there and had left not long ago.
What did he come here for? To protect her from a rain? Or did his heart latch onto the only viable excuse presented to him at the moment? Yes, he thought, that must be it.
Azriel headed down the path to her home at the centre of the square, a long walk from her shop on the outskirts of the town. I like to work in the quiet, she had said, imagine how tempting it must be when someoneโs bothering you and you have molten iron in your hands. He knew she could fight, but the last thing he suspected of his delicate lover was making tools of death and destruction.ย
He hurried, short of sprinting, to catch her before she was soaked like a street rat, cold and wet. He let out an amused chuckle looking down at his own leathers. The things the woman made him worry about.
N had left earlier than usual. The way she moved, she should be home. But when Azrielโs steps faltered along the wet roads, he wasn't sure.
The streets were bare except for the few still seeking shelter from natureโs onslaught. Save for the stark silhouette of buildings and blobs of life that swished and slashed through, nothing could be seen past the wavering white veil.
A lone figure caught his eye. Edging along the walls, it braved the stormโan arm pressed to the forehead, another around the torso, shoulders hunched forward and face averted.
She looked worse than a drenched rat. Her clothes clung to her, too light to protect her from the prick of rain. The satchel across her body sagged and sagged, the seams threatening to burst at the bottom, pulling her down with it.
Azriel cursed himself. He closed the distance between them in quick strides and stretched a wing over her head. It didnโt offer much protection, but it allowed her to look up at the godsend cover and face him with a knowing smile.
The space between her brows furrowed and her eyes crinkled at the corners. Drops of water tugged at her eyelashes for mere seconds before making their descent down her pale cheeks. Her braid turned into a tangled mess, tendrils sticking to anything in their path like claws curling into her skin.
โWant me to take you home?โ
She nodded once, without hesitation, without a thought. He smiled and took her in his arms. She was shaking. Azriel preferred flying above the clouds, but he decided against it.
Between โher two broken breaths, his shadows dropped them on the landing in front of her house. N clutched his arms as her feet steadied under her. Letting go of him, she removed her satchel. Her arms strained under its weight. It hit the floor with heavy, contesting clanks. Probably leftovers of her dayโs work that she couldnโt leave behind unfinished, even in her hurry.ย
โWhen did you return?โ She asked, removing her muddied boots. The leather fought worse than her bag.ย
Azriel followed her cue and removed his own filthy one. โThis morning.โ As he took off his other boot, N unbuttoned her pants. He lifted a brow.ย
She chuckled, her lips trembling from the cold. โIโd hate to clean the house in this weather. Take your clothes off too.โย
He gave her a dirty grin before he looked over his shoulder. The staircase behind him led to the bar downstairs. He didnโt care to be seen naked. But N? She was only for his eyes. He adjusted his wings to span the width of the narrow space, hiding her from any intrudersโ view.
โNo one comes up here at this hour,โ she said as she moved on to her shirt and the tunic underneath. Her legs gave a tremor even with his warmth next to her.ย
Just an inch of her bare skin made Azrielโs mouth water. And she stood there in her underwear. Mother, how much he missed her. His eyes wandered over her bodyโpale, cold, wetโunabashed as he undressed and tossed his clothes next to hers.
N shook her head, a faint smile on her lips. She opened the door to her one-room apartment, undoing her braid. He held on to her hips and trailed her, planting kisses on her shoulder. Her hand found his as she led him into the bathroom. It was bright, unlike his own, white and pristine. It was spacious but not enough for him, for his wings. And yet, Azriel followed her without a complaint, like a starved dog catching the scent of food after days of hunger.
Hot water hit their naked bodies. He traced his rough, scarred hands along her skin. Firm, littered with healed cuts and white scar tissue, still the softest he ever had the pleasure to touch. N shoved his hands away as she lathered herself, only to laugh when they found her again. Azriel didnโt mind that he tasted more soap than her skin on his lips with each kiss. Gods, was he desperate.ย
Usually, she queried him about his day, or why he took so long. Or made a crude comment about how much she needed him only to hear him growl with desire. That day, she smiled and cleaned them both in silence with no words to distract him from her soothing touch. A proper tease.
When he wrapped his arms around her stomach and tugged her against his chest, she smacked at him. His wings flared, sending bottles off the shelf nailed to the wall. His shadows caught them before they hit the bathtub on the other side of the room.
โStop it,โ she giggled, soft and sweet. โYouโre wrecking the place.โ
Azriel buried his nose into her hair. Covered in soap, he still smelled her past the fragrance of jasmine. Sharp and clear, with a hint of melting iron. โIโll buy you a new place.โ
She laughed. A full, open laugh that shook her body. Azriel smiled. His heart tightened in his chest.
The bond was meant to tie him to her, draw him to her. He was prepared for the craving for her body, the lust that devoured him. But this was deeper. This ran in his very soulโtaking his breath away unless it was the same air she breathed.
N turned around and pushed him a step back. โA minute, Azriel. Give me one minute,โ she said through her little laughs. She stood under the shower, tipped her head back, closing her eyes.
She didnโt understand it. She wouldnโt know his need for her unless she felt it too. She loved him though. She never said those words. But he saw the signs. In the looks she gave him, in her smiles, in the way she cared for him sometimes after long missions.
Azriel waited for the bond to piece together for her. Eighteen months. And he hadnโt told her about his torment either. It was his to bear for the time being.
He held his breath and watched the heat bring colour back to her skin, her cheeks coming aliveโsupple and flush. Her hair shone brighter. Her body stopped shivering and yet she draped her arms below her ribs.ย
Divinely simple and utterly bare only for him.
โYour minuteโs up,โ he whispered and stepped up to her, his hands on her hips.
She opened her eyes. โHi.โ She smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips.ย
Finally.
She pulled him close by his elbows. Water ran down his back and wings. She turned them around and backed away. Azriel blinked. Her laughs filled the room. N stood by the door and dried her hair.ย
โYou tricked me,โ was all he said. His hands were immobile by his side, too shocked by what she had done, by what he hadnโt noticed. He was a spy, for Motherโs sake.
โI asked you nicely.โ She patted down her body, her teasing eyes on him. โNow get done quick. Or do you want to stand there all night?โ
And she walked out.
Azriel narrowed his eyes at her form disappearing beyond the threshold. His wings twitched, and he rolled his shoulders. He was quick, alright. He turned off the water and was out and on her in a blink. N let out a yelp when her back collided with his dripping chest. Azriel sucked on herโher neck, her shoulders, her arms. He didnโt care. As long as he had her warmth and taste.ย
โFine, Iโm sorry.โ Another laugh escaped her lips as she struggled to break free of his hold.ย
Crazed like an addict taking his first hit after withdrawal, Azriel gasped against her skin. โOnly because you asked so nicely.โ He loosened his grip.ย
N faced him. She held the towel to his bodyโdrying his neck, chest, arms, and backโslowly leading him to her bed. She left his wings untouched. She took her time while Azriel peppered pecks on her face. Anything to quench his thirst.ย
โDo you care so much for me?โ He smiled into a kiss he left on her ear. Her attention made his heart flutter.
She grinned, โGods no, I donโt want you to ruin my bed.โย
โYour bed gets ruined every time Iโm here,โ he said, teasing the shell of her ear with his tongue. A shiver went down her spine, and Azriel basked in the scent that filled the room. Her scent. The one that cried out for him, desperate and needy as him.
N tamed her face, wearing the mask of a woman who had an agenda. She pushed him back and he fell onto the mattress. She moved between his legs, a knee perched at the edge of the bed, and caressed his cheek. Her eyes were soft and caring.
He wished for nothing more than to stare into them all his life. One look at them and every moment in his life he felt unloved and unworthy was erased from his being.
His wet hair stuck to his forehead, their tips scratching at his eyelids. N brought the towel to his head. She was as gentle as ever, but Azriel couldnโt waste a second without gazing at that beautiful face of hers. He shook out of her hold, ducking his head and turning.ย
โStop acting like a child,โ she laughed.
He grunted, โYouโre smothering me,โ but it sounded like a whine to his ears.
โThen stop moving!โ
With a sigh, he gave up. Gods, what he wouldnโt do for her. He sat still and N allowed him the mercy to look at her. He rested his hands on her thighs, rubbing circles with his thumbs. He couldnโt help the sighs that left his lips every minute. He smiled up at her, capturing every feature on her face with the eyes of a devotee graced upon by his benevolent god.ย
When N deemed him less of a sodden pup, she ran her fingers through his damp hair. She untangled each strand carefully, tugged them away from his eyes, and let them fall in their natural disarray. Her nails raked through his scalp, from his hairline to the base of his neck.
Azriel purred under her fingers. It took everything in his body not to fight against her ministrations and crush her body against his. His wings fluttered.
N looked at them and back into his eyes. Azriel nodded, his wings opening into a spread close to his body, close enough for her to reach. Droplets littered the membrane, too light to slide off under gravity. She barely touched the towel to his wing, and it twitched. She waited for a breath and tried again. This time, it held still. She repeated her movements, each time more careful than the last, from one spot to the next as gingerly as possible.ย
Azriel closed his eyes. His hands smoothed over her waist, his fingers digging into her tender flesh, and pulled her close. Warmth from her body hit his face. He leaned forward, resting his forehead between her breasts. He felt her heart beat under her skin. Steady, lulling.ย
Thatโs when he realised. It wasnโt lust that drew him to her or his bond. It was herโthe solace she promisedโa world far away from the treacherous reality he endured in his job, away from the nightmares of his past that haunted him, away from the loud and rush of this unjust one.ย
With her, he could be still.ย
With her, he could breathe.ย
With her, he could just be.
She froze every minute he spent with her, entrapping him in her delicately spun cocoon of comfort. She didnโt need her words, her touch or her body. She breathed and tension in his body and soul melted away. The ghosts that followed him around faded into nothingness. Every pain in his mind, forgotten.ย
She offered him life. Ecstasy at its purest.
The fabric that separated her from his wings was gone, discarded. Her fingertips grazed the outer curve of his wing. Azriel buried his face into her chest. If she allowed, he would crawl into her soul and stay there in its protection, in its everlasting, glowing warmth. He wanted nothing more than her in his life. He feathered his lips over her sternum. His wings wound around them, begging for more. He tugged her closer and pressed a kiss to her heart. The one he yearned to possess.ย
N settled on his lap. Her delicate body pressed against his desperate one. Azriel looked up. With a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, she nudged him out of his swarming thoughts.
โYouโre a handful, you know that? You donโt make it easy to care for you.โ
He smiled. โI missed you.โ He smiled a lot around her as if she drew each one out from the very depths of him.
Mischief sparkled in her eyes. She rolled her hips against his, โOh, I can feel that.โ
Azriel groaned and eventually laughed. โYouโre naked in my arms. And youโre touching my wings. Can you blame me?โ His eyes darkened when she moved her hips again. โKiss me. Now,โ he growled.
And for the first time that day, N obliged. She kissed him long and slow. Her lips were soft, plush, and pulsing with life. Her breaths warmed his skin. She pushed her body into his, and for the first time that day, she set her desires free. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her fingers laced together on the back of his neck, pulling him close. She leaned back when he dipped and chased him when he pulled back. It was a dance she was a master at, syncing to his bodyโs rhythm as if she knew it better than him.ย
Azriel adored her tender love, but he needed more. He grabbed her damp hair into a fist. N whimpered into his mouth and he swallowed it whole. He was determined to lay claim to every inch of her soul if thatโs what it took to make her his. He tugged her hair, and she arched her back with a long moan. He ran his teeth along her beautiful neck she offered for his taking. Her hands only pulled him closer.ย
His mate. His willing prey.
N wrapped her legs around his waist. Azriel crawled deeper into the bed and laid her down gently. He pulled back to admire her one more time, stroking her cheek as she smiled. He pecked her lips once and flipped her onto her stomach ripping a choked gasp from her.
โTrust me?โ He breathed against her ear.
She nodded. He kissed the side of her neck, her shoulder, and all the way down her back, enjoying every shiver that rattled her to the core. He sank his teeth into her waist just to make her yelp and glare over her shoulder. When he soothed the spot with a lick, she rolled her eyes smiling. He kissed all the way up until he found her lips again. His body relaxed against hers with careful pressure. He sighed.
โI missed you,โ he murmured below her ear.ย
Doubt crept into his pathetic heart every time she eluded his words. Once in a while her feelings crept over the string between their hearts like a spider, too little a thing for him to notice, but present nonetheless. Invisible and lurking, and always out of his reach. With the bond in place for him already, though he should have been able to feel her emotions, he barely did.
He needed to hear her words. He needed her to say those words and some more.
โThen what are you waiting for?โ She asked, as breathless as he.
Azriel chuckled darkly, โTell me you missed me.โ His shadows emerged for the play. They swept her hair aside for their master to suckle on her neck.
โIโll show you if you stop teasing.โ
The seduction in her voice alone tempted Azriel to destroy her until she was a mess for him, whimpering and declaring her love for him.
He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her face close. โWords first,โ he growled as his other hand closed on her breast. A thumb ghosted over her nipple before he pinched it between his fingers.
N looked over her shoulder, her eyes dark and wide. โI missed you,โ she kissed the corner of his lips, sucking on the skin she could reach. Azriel eased his grip and then she spoke again, โSo much that I was dreaming of your fingers every night.โ
Azriel laughed. His body shook over hers, the sound reverberating through her being. โSuch a tease,โ he closed his eyes and nuzzled into the side of her face, โYou sure do know how to get your way.โ
He slipped his fingers between her legs and hummed as he ran a digit along her slit. N held her breath, her hands clawing at the sheets.ย He caressed the inside of her thigh until she whined. When he tucked his hand under her leg and pulled it aside, N gasped at the cold airโs kiss on her wet core.
Azriel breathed in her scentโa fresh, sharp, intoxicating sweetness that ensnared his senses right before she stole pieces of his soul. He teased her entrance with his fingers, her lips smooth and slick against his scarred skin. When he slipped them inside, her breaths shuddered into broken mists.
He worked her with slow and deliberate strokes, for his own sanity than hers. He etched every groove and bend of his favourite maze into his memory. He kissed her lips as he pulled his fingers out and spread her slick onto his neglected cock. The moan that tore from his throat was one he would be embarrassed for life. But her mesmerised eyes on his lips erased any notion of it.
He grabbed her hip and entered her slowly as she welcomed him with a sigh. He stayed still, listening to her stuttering breaths against the echoes of rain.
So intimate, so real.ย
N laced her fingers with his on her hip. โI missed this,โ she whispered.
This.
Not 'you'.
Ignoring the stab in his chest, Azriel grasped her hands in each of his and tucked them under her chin. He pulled out until the very tip and drove back in. Her moan pierced through the cries of the storm. He repeated his movements, sliding out with care and sliding in with fury. His breaths turned into groans, angry and beastly. He bit into her neck, her shoulder, between her blades to stop more desperate words from spilling out.
N touched his knuckles with her lips. She covered his hand with kisses, from his wrist to fingertips, worshipping every inch of his marred hand. She let her tongue slick over a particularly ragged part of his skin whose mere sight blurred his vision with vengeance for what he had endured.ย
Azriel pinched his eyes shut. Letting go of her hand, he clutched her jaw. โDonโt,โ he hissed.
Foolish woman. She leaned into his hand as if it wasn't that of a killer, as if it wasnโt capable of offering nothing but a sweet embrace. She carded her fingers through his hair, cradling his face close. And brushed her lips over the length of the fingers that ghosted over them.
โAzriel,โ she uttered his name as if it soothed her. As if she had been waiting for this moment just like him.
His hip bucked. โSay it again, say my name.โย
โAzriel.โ
โAgain,โ he said against her skin, his voice coated in desperation.
โAzriel.โย
And she chanted his name with each breath.
His thrusts faltered. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. He wasnโt a worthy contender for her vicious tenderness. Yet, she gave it to him in earnest. โTouch yourself for me,โ he whispered in her ear.
Her hand obeyed. She moved her leg higher, offering her every depth to him. She circled her clit slowly, with the slightest of pressure. Her slick trailed down her fingers and she writhed under him. She gave him her moans; she gave him her body; she gave him her pleasure.
โThatโs it, baby. Make yourself feel good.โ He hummed at her misery, his cock delivering the faintest taste of what he suffered at her ignorance.ย
Her cunt pulsed around him, gripping him until pleasure laced with pain with each slide. N whimpered and arched her back, pushing her hips into him. His hand on her jaw slipped to her throat, the only thing that kept her from curling away from him. She stared into his eyes, baring her soul for him. Her legs trembled, desperate to close, and his shadows crept up to hold them in place. She gasped when a few wisps searched for her soaked fingers and circled her skin.ย
โShh,โ Azriel kissed her temple, โI know.' He pressed his tender lips to her cheek, a devastating contrast to his thrusts, โCome for me.โย
And after a breath, she did.
The bond reeked of desire.
His and hers. His desperation, her relief. His longing, her content.
Azriel sank his teeth into her shoulder, hardโinjecting the venom coursing through his veins into her, poisoning her with her own medicine, sharing the agony she inflicted upon him.
His heart was a house on fire, the mating bond a fuse, and she, the one with a match.
He pried her fingers away from her core and shoved them into his mouth. He purred at her taste, his chest rumbling against her back. With two staggering moves, he attained the same heavenly pleasure she did.
His hands wrapped around her, his legs intertwined with hers, and her body reaching out to his in a way that could only be described as a loverโs despairโthe way they were meant to be. One and whole. Every breath, shared and stolen. Every touch, burning and soothing.ย
Their moans stopped and their breaths calmed. Finally, the sounds of the world rushed back to his ears. The distant echo of the angry rain, the soft music from the bar below, the ghostly whispers that never turned into anything coherent. N sagged into the bed, loosening her grip on his fingers.ย
Azriel eased her leg, massaging it with a careful hand. He kissed her cheek. โTalk to me,โ he said, โYou okay?โ
N nodded. โThat was. . .โ she said between breaths, โintense.โ
โGood intense?โ He smiled against her shoulder, kissing the spots left by his canines where blood threatened to break through her skin.
โโYou should go on long missions more oftenโ intense.โย
He nipped her ear. โSay the word. And I will take you any way you want, whenever you want.โ He rolled onto his back, adjusting his wings under him. N looked at them with fascination. He pulled her to his chest, โDonโt unless you want to go again.โ
She chuckled. โI canโt even look at them?โ
โYou can do anything you want to them,โ he murmured to her lips, โJust give me a warning.โ His wing draped over her, the curved tip grazing up her leg as if agreeing to him, consenting to her.ย
They remained silent for a long time, tracing swirls on each otherโs skin. A moment frozen in time, drenched in comfort and warmth. Azriel ran his fingers through the lengths of her hair, damp more from his sweat than their shared shower. Every inch of her was marked by his presence. He smiled.
โAzriel?โ
โHmm?โ
โNext time come by sooner so that I can stop worrying.โ She was watching the rain through the glass door that stood between them and the balcony. Before he could remark, she added smiling, โThe weather is nice.โย
Azriel glanced over his shoulder. Winds howledโchanging course every minute, spouting rain in every direction. The metal bird feeder suspended from the ceiling rattled and screeched. It swayed wildly close to breaking off its hinges. Water trickled along the walls, moving steadily towards the threshold.
He looked back at her and lifted a brow. โNice? Youโre about to be flooded.โ
โMaybe,โ she smiled up at him. Pulling a blanket over their bodies, โBut I can do this,โ she wrapped an arm around his torso, pressing into him with a long sigh.
Azriel trailed his index along her cheek, down her jaw. He ached to let his will crumble and give in to his impulse. He only did it thrice after the bond snapped for him, too afraid to feel the nothingness again. He called to her through the bondโa gentle caress, begging her to follow him, pulling her closer than his physical body allowed, breaking the laws of the real world.ย
He rested his finger on her heart hoping to feel something on her skin. An increase in heart rate, a hitch in her throat, or maybe the thrum of the bondโs stupid song that left him sleepless at night. Azriel would accept anything.
But her heart beat steadily, unaware of his desperation. The bond shimmered with his love, the light weaving through the thread until it met with her void again.
Ironic. The one born with the shadows had a heart aglow with love. And the otherโwarmth and light incarnated, had hers hidden in darkness.ย
N placed a hand on his chest and perched her chin on it. She looked at him with curious eyes. โWhat?โ
Youโre my mate.ย
The words were at the tip of his tongue. Three words and she would put him out of his misery. She would accept him, even if the bond never snapped for her. She would hold him close, kiss his lips, and tell him she loved him. She would rid him of some of his darkness.
A smile graced Azrielโs lips. He brushed her hair away from her eyes.
โYou hungry?โ
A book is a dream that you hold in your hands @thefangirlofthecentury - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
