Ryland August Finn @thefearlessmarine - Tumblr Blog

Dear You,

You stole me--my family and my friends wondered where I went and why I was leaving them, but every day you reminded me that I was luck to have you and the more I talked to them, the more I’d lose you.

You manipulate me--you told me that I was a bad boyfriend, a bad person, that nobody would love me and I should praise you for putting up with how awful I was.

You emotionally abused me--you told me that I was selfish whenever I thought of myself, that I could never be more than your second, that I should give up on my dreams, and that I should worship you like you were the only thing that would ever look at me.

You erased me--you said that I couldn’t dare to have opinions, that I shouldn’t speak, that I should shut my pretty mouth and use it for what its good for. You undermined me to your friends, took my ideas as your own, acted like I never knew what I was talking about, and treated me like a child that asked too many questions.

You beat me--when I was too much, when I wouldn’t give in, when I didn’t want you, when the sight of you revolted me, when I wanted nothing more than to leave, when I said no, you hit me until I would give in.

You betrayed me--you took my trust, my love, and my confidence and shattered them all in one fell swoop. You built be to be your subject so that you could crush me in an instant. You told me everything that I wanted to hear, made me give up everything I ever loved, just so you could pull the world out from under me.

You abandoned me--or were you never really there. It was only after that I found out that it was not only me under your command. No matter how many times I asked or pressed, I was the crazy one and nobody else would take my shit. Regardless of my lonely passed, you pulled me out of my hole in the ground so that you could deepen it before you threw me back in.

I lived--you stole me, you manipulated me, you emotionally abused me, you erased me, beat me, betrayed me, and absconded me, but I lived. You see while you about your darkened life, your only friends as shadows and silhouettes, I dug through that hole, and found the light side of the moon.

People can tear me down, shoot my heart out, exterminate my dreams, and leave me gasping for air, but I will find a way to rise, to mend my broken heart, to revive my dreams only bigger. I produce my own air.

Day #7

Day #7: The person that means the most to you. Write a letter to the person that means the most to you in the world and tell them how you feel– exactly how you feel.

Dear you,

Be better than me. Be smarter, be stronger. Most importantly, invest in yourself. Believe in yourself. The most important thing is to stay proud--stay happy. You deserve the world. Remember that. You need no one. You need nothing. You are all you need.

I love you to the ends of the Earth,

#thingsunsaid #things unsaid #letters #letter #weekly #creative #writing #challenge

Day #6

Day #6: The person that you never told you made a mistake. Write a letter to someone for something that you feel guilty for.

Dear you,

It wasn’t so much a mistake to me as it was to you, but either way, it hurt you, and that’s what I’m sorry for. You deserve light, not my darkness.

I won’t let the shadow take me again.

Love,

#thingsunsaid #things unsaid #weekly #cretive #writing #letters #letter #challenege

Day #5

Day #5 The person that you never told you believe in. Write a letter to someone that you have faith in, someone that you believe can do anything, but that you never told.

Dear me,

As hard as it is to believe, I have faith in you. I think that you could conquer the world. I know that you are constantly pulled in two directions. I know that every day is a struggle and that you want to give up, but please, for me, don’t.

You can do this. You can surpass the challenges that are in front of you and you can surpass so much more. Think about your past. Think about everything that you have gone through and everything that you have conquered. You are merely building.

You will grow, and the strength that you gain will be enough to take on anything. The only thing in your way is you.

Sincerely,

#things unsaid #thingsunsaid #letter #letters #challenge #weekly #creative #writing

Day #4

Day #4: The person that you never told you loved. Tell that person that you love them, but do it in a letter.

Dear you,

Wow, it’s been a long time. You seem to be doing well and I’m happy for you. I hope that you make it all the way because you got closer than us all.

Anyways, I wanted to say that I love you. There’s no point iii sugar-coating it--I fell head-over-heels for you when we met and I think you fell too. It was that toxic naive teenager type of love, and it meant a lot to me, because you were the first--the first person I ever loved, and I still have those feelings for you.

Since then, I have realized that love goes deeper, that there are more levels, and we were just at the surface of a vast ocean of feeling, but that doesn't make it mean any less, because without our love, I never would have swam deeper.

We both made mistakes, ya know? And I want to apologize for mine. I want to apologize for being scared and holding back when I should have leapt at the opportunities I had with you. I should have fought for you, but you were not lacking in shortcomings. You could be cold-hearted and distant, and in fact, you were. You broke my heart when you disappeared. Imagine that you live every day talking to someone, laughing with someone, seeing someone, and then all the sudden they are completely torn from your life.

I missed you for a long time, and I dreamed of you for a long time, and when we met again I fell all over. You have this thing about you. You seem like you are inviting everyone in, but the truth is, you just want people to gravitate around you, and I didn't want to be caught in your gravity anymore. So, I stopped.

But, I still love you, even though I never told you and even though it may be different now, and since you told me, I know that somewhere in there, you still love me. So I’m sorry that we missed our shot, and I’m sorry that I was selfish, but I wish you everything wonderful in the world. You deserve it.

Sincerely,

Christmas

#letter #writing #creative #weekly #challenege #self care #mental health #awareness #letters #love #lost #high school #gravity #things unsaid

Day #3

Day #3: The person that you never told you admire. Write a letter to someone who you look up to but never got the chance to tell or were too shy to tell.

Dear you,

I admire your stillness. I admire your fortitude. I admire your unwillingness to be moved from complete compromise. I admire the calculated nature of every decision--the alternative resolution. I admire the coolness of your actions, and the steadiness of your hands. I admire that your confidence knows no bounds, yet humility still seeps through your veins. I admire that you are unapologetically you, and never give in to outside cares. I admire that you always find a way to mediate the outspoken without a word of your own. I admire that you are a rock at the bottom of a river, unrelenting no matter how much comes at you. It will be parted like the Red Sea.

You have always been a person that I look up to. You have always been someone that I admire, and I don’t express it enough. I miss you and your influence. You are too far away. Please come see me more often. You are the calm, and I am the storm.

Love you,

#self care #letters #letter #writing #challenge #weekly challenege #brother #admiration #poetry #art #beautiful #love #storm #calm #things unsaid #mental health #awareness

Day #2

Day #2: The person that you never told sucks. Write a letter to someone who betrayed you, and you never got to tell them how it made you feel.

Dear you,

I’m not angry with you. Truly, I’m not, but I think what you did was probably about the most shitty thing you could have done. Honestly, deep down, I think you know that. I think that you know that you were wrong, and you feel guilty about it. I think that you regret destroying me, because it wasn’t collateral damage. I was the target of your malice.

And if you don’t--feel guilty. If you don’t think that you were wrong. That says more about you than anything. Because anyone in their right mind, any semi-decent, self-respecting human being, knows that what you did is unforgivable. What you did is criminal, it is immoral, and it is despicable.

I’m not sure what your goal was. If you meant to tear me down, or if you just wanted to build yourself up, but either way, you failed. Because I ended up much stronger, and you ended up more fragile. See, I could overpower you with a thought now. You no longer have control, but if I saw you again, I wouldn’t torment you because you have nothing left to live for. You gave up the best thing you ever had--the most real thing you ever had, and you gave it up for nothing more than a taste of fame and glory. For just a taste of financial stability and “fitting in with the cool kids,” you gave up your soul.

I hope it all was worth it. I truly and really do. I hope that you get everything that you’ve ever wanted, but when you crash and burn, you’ll think of me, and I won’t be around to catch you anymore.

Sincerely,

Much better off

#letter #weekly challenege #challenge #writing #self help #mental awareness #mental health #self care #things unsaid #things #unsaid

Day #1

Day #1: The person you never told about your feelings. Write a letter to one person that you wish you would have told how you feel. Explain how you feel, why you feel that way, and why you never said anything.

Dear you,

God its been ages, but for me, it hasn't been long at all. I think about you every day. I wonder if I made the right choice--if I am even okay, without you. I wonder if I should have realized that I loved you when I had the chance. But, life isn't that easy. No matter how much I love you, it wasn't destined to be, because you moved on.

I honestly don’t know why it matters to me anymore. We moved away, both of us. We live thousands of miles from each other, but still I can’t stop myself from being dragged towards you with a magnetism that reaches across worlds. No matter how much I doubt myself, your words ring in my ears. No matter how lonely I feel, your kiss lingers on my lips. I just miss you.

Its not a general depression or anxiety that gets me anymore, but you. You are my disease. You are my addiction. I cannot live without you. You chose a path of life that led to fun. You chose a path of life that led to happiness, and well, I chose the wrong path. I chose steel. I chose industry. I chose work. As if money ruled the world, but doesn't it?

I would gladly give this world up now. Would gladly throw it all away for you. I would gladly, and with a smile, give anything I needed to give to have you. But, it’s too late now. I gave you up when I had my opportunity and it was the stupidest mistake of my life. I am sorry.

I am not sorry to you. I am sorry to me, because I ruined my own life by not realizing that you were the best thing in it.

I love you.

And no matter how far we get or how much we do, I will still feel that way. Even if the impossible happens and we both find love again, I will still love you. You never forget a person that you loved, and you are one of the rare, one of the few. The one and maybe the only that I could drop my walls for. The one and maybe the only that I truly loved.

You are brilliant, and I don’t mean that you are intelligent, though you are, but you see the world in a different way, in the way it was meant to be seen, because it is all about happiness. Somehow you see that, and you can conform to it. You are not me, with my OCD and perfectionism. You are not others with their craziness and overdoses. You are right in the middle. Right where life is supposed to be lived. You are what any person should be. You are everything.

I love you.

I am sorry I let you go because, now all I want is you, and had I known, I would have followed you to the ends fo the Earth. I would have fucked industry. I would have burned money, because now all I wants to be in your arms again. All I want is to feel your skin. All Want is to kiss your lips. All I want is the warmth of your body next to mine.

I love you.

But you will never love me, so it is with a heart that is broken, and a breath that is frozen that I must say what is to follow, that I must do what must be done, and truly mean it:

Goodbye.

#Letter #Love #heartbreak #hreat #challenge #writing #creative #unsaid #things

Things Unsaid Challenge

Day #2: The person that you never told sucks. Write a letter to someone who betrayed you, and you never got to tell them how it made you feel.

Day #3: The person that you never told you admire. Write a letter to someone who you look up to but never got the chance to tell or were too shy to tell.

Day #4: The person that you never told you loved. Tell that person that you love them, but do it in a letter.

Day #5 The person that you never told you believe in. Write a letter to someone that you have faith in, someone that you believe can do anything, but that you never told.

Day #6: The person that you never told you made a mistake. Write a letter to someone for something that you feel guilty for.

Day #7: The person that means the most to you. Write a letter to the person that means the most to you in the world and tell them how you feel-- exactly how you feel.

*don’t edit these letters. Write whatever flows from your consciousness, and post.*

#ThingsUnsaid

Reblog if your inbox is always open to people who are struggling with depression.

#depression #community #suicide prevention #inbox #ask #box #open #help

He stood at the edge.

But, the edge of what? Was it the cliff that he was waiting on the precipice of--was it the ravine underneath him, filled with trees the likes of which he had never seen before? The water curved and twisted in a way that was wild and yet pointed at the same time, and he looked out upon it all, garnished with a golden sun on the brim of a glass full of earth.

Or was it the edge of his life? Was it the point of no return--the shallow pit in his stomach, full of the butterflies whose carcasses had nested as if they had re-entered cocoons? The lost love ran through his bloodstream like poison to the end of every limb and yet always finding its way back like a dagger in his heart, and he felt it all, complete with a mind gone numb attempting to block out the emptiness of his heart.

He stood at the edge, and he leapt.