The angels are here !

Arden& / Anomaly + it / he >> they& I use "homemates"/"parts" & "home"/"system" ; I DON'T KNOW HOMESTUCK STOP DNIs are chronically online ‼️ collective blog ; wtvr on my mind my art blog is @explosivecatharsis my vent tag is #arden vents ; I also have #arden plurals (plurality-related), #arden dreams (what i dream of), #arden asks (answering asks) O, ja, ja! Das ist fantastisch! Мой язык — твой главный враг! Нахуй — там! Калитка настежь! Fuck you, fuck you, мо-рал-фаг! /lyr

[thegalvanizedstaff]

"reminder that proships, comships and darkships will never be a part of lgbtq!!" well obviously, how the fuck is liking horror fiction somehow inherently related to liking women and men or whatever. what the FUCK are you talking about

[thegalvanizedstaff]

you know TT has an official discord server? there are other fans and even a channel for fanart, and I would've loved to talk there sometimes and share my art, but the server requires your confirmed phone number in order to talk. which, ain't no fucking way I'm giving discord my number too. I guess I'll just keep hoping that some of the fans will stumble upon my content here or on Pinterest, lol

[thegalvanizedstaff]

Taking up my favorite writer's books in the original language, and god, it's so cool to know she is queer-friendly (I guess? otherwise she wouldn't have such moments in the stories, y'know). When I was reading her books translated in Russian, they were censored, cut out, or characters' genders were mixed to make it non-queer. Idk what organizations have edited them, but I noticed that non-Russian books have more lively designs, they actually mention the author's social medias and other books, and are not censored much. Maybe I just got lucky...

[thegalvanizedstaff]

I fucking love cereal / flakes. 🔥🔥🔥 Sweet, milk, crunchy, not too firm but still solid enough to not feel like you're drinking compote? Count me in.

this probably why I like soup too. Don't get me started on how much I love soup... (I tend to over-eat it till I get nauseous and it hurts to keep eating, because the taste is too delicious and I get oblivious of whether I'm full). Luckily, I don't over-eat cereal, because the amount of milk makes me queasy too soon, but the principle stands. 😼

[songformicrophone]

treat endogenic systems seriously

[thegalvanizedstaff]

ENDOGENIC SYSTEMS MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[thegalvanizedstaff]

mom genuinely believes she's a witch, damn. she says I'M a witch too, as her offspring, and I'm supposed to have even stronger abilities, so "it's weird I don't have prophetic dreams";

it sounds so corny, because I do NOT believe in anything of this, I repeatedly told her I do not share her beliefs.

she believes in omens and scolds me if I drop a spoon or place house keys on a kitchen table, I just think it's life. she is super spiritual, believes that she has special powers and that spirits follow her (she had times when she'd see things that weren't there, or wake up to someone pushing her or talking to her despite being alone in the room), and I thought she's just hallucinating. she says she has prohetic dreams, and that she can "feel" when someone is not nice or when my dad "could be cheating". She struggles to keep friendships, because she is really resentful and has episodes of thinking everyone is out to get her. It's so easy to write off as "quirks", and I used to, but tonight she really just weirded me out. At this point I question if she has something else going on along with PTSD, depression and substance use disorder. lmao

[maybewilting]

decided to draw what happened last night

[someone]

pt & screenshot of situation under cut

[PT: Ruin: "The worst part is, he showed up with me, he didn't know up before me." (Arrow pointing to Ruin, saying "Complaining about [someone]".) BF&: "Oh, it's the Pisser!" [Someone]: (Thinking about the colour orange, passing the thought onto Ruin). Ruin: "Want to know what he said to that? (Orange circle). I don't understand." (Angry/upset). END PT]

[thegalvanizedstaff]

Every fandom needs some memes...

[thegalvanizedstaff]

you do realize someone can be endo-neutral, cuz they have different stances among the headmates. or they're still figuring out their opinion and looking into it. or they don't care about origin discourse and are against the concept of being "pro (eixstence of a group of people)",, or etc. no one owes you a collective presentation or singletsona, no one owes you that they'll care as deeply as you do about some things, no one owes you immediate knowledge and certainty about themselves. 💀💀💀 "it's so easy to choose a side though!", you should be kinder about the fact that there is a shit ton of misinformation and aggression and arrow-throwing around the internet, and that if you make a mistake you will be labeled as unfixable and deserving of pain by others. of COURSE some people are hesitant to pick a side

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[thegalvanizedstaff]

does anyone else read that one unfinished fanfic on AO3 where Dick experiences violent+vivid hallucinations and nightmares all the time through the whole story, which is. like. a significant part, though I'm not sure if it's the main point of the story. he also greatly struggled with self-harm, because it somehow helped with calming down the hallucinations. I'm sure it had "Dick Grayson-centric" tag for sure, but idk about anything else. i want to find the fic so badly!!!

I remember there were moments:

he was coming to a Gala, and some female character (can't remember who) teased him and pointed out that he has that vein on his forehead that bulges whenever he's mad.

he was looking into a mirror, and his eyes were black pits with blood dripping down his face. he hurt himself, looked again, and his eyes were back to normal.

when on a mission as Nightwing, he gets caught by Joker, and then thrown off a great height. he doesn't try to do anything and almost accepts that maybe he'll die, but he gets saved by Superman in the last moment.

while staying at the manor, he had a big hallucination where the room was filling with blood.

when he was hanging out in the common room (?), there was a moment where he looked at everyone and their faces or heads were severed and dismembered somehow. like, i clearly remember they all had different injuries and it was described in great detail. then he looked away, looked back, and it was gone.

he had a nightmare where he was walking on corpses of everyone he loved, and i think it ended with him getting caught and being drawn down into the corpse pile?

he was laying on the couch in the common room (?), covering his face with one arm. Tim walks by, and notices cuts on Dick's arm. i think Dick just asked Tim to not tell anyone and that he's handling it, and Tim told him he can talk to him anytime if he needs. (?)

while walking by the common room once, the rest of his bat-siblings were there, and Dick overhears that they all think he's annoying and such. (i cant remember this clearly, so im not sure if this is actually in the same fic)

I'm not sure if the fanfic is deleted by now. like. idk, maybe I just didn't search well??? I cherished that fic deeply and used to return to it frequently. I'm sure it was not a fever dream, but fuckk i cant find it now. please tell me someone else knows of it??

[thegalvanizedstaff]

"animals can consent, because they bodily enjoy it and/or their body language is not obvioisly aggressive or fearful" implies that not all rape is rape with humans either, just because you felt pleasure or reached orgasm during it, or even if you just froze, didn't resist or fawned. or that CNC and such stuff are actually non-consensual, because the sub fought it and acted like they hate it. like yeah, we get it, youre horny, you want to fuck animals and you don't actually care about the community you pretend to have. there is no pattern

just a thought i had. aren't sex and general relationships all about verbal communication? you can't just go off the body language, pal! like, what even about people who are super nervous before (first) sex? does their fearful body language imply they don't rly want it? lol

[thegalvanizedstaff]

so, first we have an e.d. holder fronting more since it's summer and trying to starve us, and now we have a radqueer coming out of dormancy since we've been seeing a lot of anti-rqs acting unnecessarily violent. tbh we have pro-endo parts that get front-triggered by seeing aggressive anti-endos, or vice versa or such, so i think there is a pattern of "switching (lmao) sides" if someone is acting publicly aggressive.

not like Solaris, the main radqueer of our sys, is particularly bad. yip is quite kind-hearted, actually, so I think it'll be possible to make her see wrongs of rqc and turn away from it. but also, star interacts with the community as they has nowhere else to go... and. its bad. the rq community is so fucking bad, bro, Solaris please don't go there... also there are parts who are subtypes of radqueer... who are not so kind. *looks at Lyric and Molars, LSDqueers*. they front under more specific conditions though, so we shouldn't worry? but? knowing the internet, we MIGHT worry.

[thegalvanizedstaff]

lowkey tiring to see endogenics being pushed down everywhere and forced into one box. "you are either here or there, you cannot have confusing, contradictory or mixed experiences, you can only use these words to describe yourself or else you're explaining your own experiences wrongly. no, not those words either"

or being grouped with one or another unrelated group just because you see them on the same level of threat. because endos are not people living, but a theoretical concept of threats. unlike, y'know, radqueers who actually accept noncon harm, don't respect boundaries, who think kids can consent or "it's okay if it's only romantic / without actual sex going on", etc.

or denying other CDD systems or even saying they don't have CDD, because they happen to have a different stance. cuz yeah, other people with your condition cannot need resources or share a place with you if they think differently. or they should die or harm themselves / their selves, really, why do they exist if they don't agree with you? obviously actual pwCDD would share your opinion

[thegalvanizedstaff]

listening to destroy boys feels like coming home icl. i typically move on from artist to artist, but destroy boys is something i frequently return to, is something i listen to whenever i want to truly feel home

[thegalvanizedstaff]

i had a full spiraling over Danil now. i mean, hes been on my mind a lot lately for no reason (partial reason is that Druxy, a recently found alter, is a factive of him, but im not sure how it plays), sometimes even in my dreams despite me actively avoiding any thoughts of him, but this is the first ever time (out of what i remember) i broke down into tears about him. my breathing got fast as i thought about him, and then i just kinda curled up, cried and stayed like this, my hand covering my face. he hurt me. he was supposed to be my friend. i wish he was my friend. i wish he was my FRIEND. i wish he was MY friend. it's no surprise i turned to be a screen addict— i was severely lonely and isolated. i was going through family trauma at home where i was scared, emotionally neglected, and threatened, and then i went outside with my "friends" where i was shut down, ignored, sometimes physically overpowered, and labeled as the weirdo. no one wanted me anywhere, they all made it clear i was annoying them and the outcast. i had no one to talk to, or even have a hug with without feeling the power struggle. i did not know it was not normal to be treated by friends like this, and my family did not make me feel safe either, so i didn't tell anyone. when i finally started getting fed up and stopped going out as much with him, my family saw it as me replacing irl friendship for my computer, instead of me realizing i don't want to be abused. we had good moments too, y'know? at least i think. i remember going to school with him, or going home with him. sharing the path, the minibus. once we just went home without the bus (it was kinda a long way down the hill), and we were walking together, and i think i remember feeling nice, free even, and we chatted on the way. i do not remember any of our conversations at all, oddly, but some of it was good, right? i cant remember. i remember two of us sitting in my mom's car sometime (god the time stamps are so distorted), waiting to be taken home, and we fought while mom was away, and he kept hitting my thighs despite me telling him it hurts. its rly blurry. i remember crying and hugging the mini pillow and my mom scolding him. did he apologize? idk, it probably was half-assed. was it not a sign enough that he is not a good friend, mama? he WAS somewhat good, though. thats what hurts. he could be good. he just chose to hurt me. the past was not 20 years ago, he was grown enough to know by that time. he just chose to keep hurting me. and i still miss him. and i still wish we could talk honestly and openly without our parents or our past looming behind our shoulders. i was just another girl for him, another weirdo. does he even remember me now? i hope this stays in the back of his head all of his life, nudging him to be kinder, nudging him to treat others better than how he treated me. fuck, did i not suffer enough! why does every man hurt me in my life, i just wanted to love!

[thegalvanizedstaff]

considering how badly paraphiles are treated, im not surprised people with hypersexuality dont get any better treatment. people are gonna kill themselves and y'all would be there to watchhh