coll. name is Arden&
it / he >> they&
my art blog @explosivecatharsis
DNIs are chronically online, but anti-endo "systems" and anti-fiction folx can FUCK OFF. Как там говорили, "I'd rather die than be associated with you"? Lmao. Call me by name, don't generalize me with communitues so you can have a reason to say "ALL (insert) are mean!!"
O, ja, ja! Das ist fantastisch!
Мой язык — твой главный враг!
Нахуй — там! Калитка настежь!
Fuck you, fuck you, мо-рал-фаг!
/lyr
if you're anti-endo "because you don't support the community but really you do believe endos are real", then you're still anti-endo... like we get it, you're above identifying with (pro-)endos, they're so annoying and weird huh? you feel safer being grouped with medicalists? uh-huh
mogai community has trouble with friendly fire, (inter)sexism, transphobia, etc. otherkin community has a lot of trouble, but no one says they're anti-otherkin just to not deal with that. antific and profic communities have trouble. hell, even some radqueers try to speak up and help their community for the better, even though it's infested with pro-c, groomers, xenosatanists and such. you're just lazy and disconnected. call yourself endo-neutral or don't mention syscourse like a better person, what's with those double meanings...
no one calls themself anti-x to discourage the community. when someone sees "anti-(identity or community they're a part of)" on your profile, they don't think "oh haha you still support me, you just don't like how the community is at the moment", they think "you're not friendly and possibly hostile to me and my friends"
procrastinated so hard on finishing this months cross stitch project that i went back to the craft that actually had me start cross stitching in the first place
dude I can't listen to any usual horror stories, because most of them are just weird and vaguely stigmatize real experiences. it's no wonder so many people have oppressive beliefs, if that's the shit we watched as we grew up 😭 it's indirect but firm, painting the marginalized groups as scary, fictional, non-human, dangerous
here is this "horror" story about how a man's dad started overeating to the point of extreme obesity as a result of dealing with intrusive thoughts, and then the dad turned into a long worm-like thing, ate his own limbs, became a killer & cannibal, and eventually the man had to kill him. but y'know, most 3/4 part of the story is just the man watching the dad constantly eat and narrating annoyance & disgust at him. sure, there are sometimes moments of concern, "shouldn't I get him help? he's my dad after all" to make him look not entirely careless, but mostly the man is focused on how "disgusting", "scary", "unusual" and "obese" the dad is. the man only tries to help him once (to start diet), but it was when the dad already got too deep in it, and the diet obviously doesn't work, and the man just immediately gives up and starts avoiding him. it's so fucking stupid. the creator of the story paints the man as the only victim, how he "didn't want to leave him for some reason (despite feeling hatred for him)", "was stuck with him" (he could always leave the apartment), etc. the dad is not controlling or threatening him to stay, the man is not even fawning, he outwardly pointed out and argued with the dad, but no, he just stays like a dumbass anyway. the dad is shown to be struggling with mental health issues and resulting compulsive eating, but the story is focused on how "atypical" it is for someone to over-eat, how they're aggressive without food and that they're hopeless, and they will become evil and eat you too if you don't stop them.
and there's another "horror" story (a bit shorter) about how a man was visiting a village, which had a problem with some group of homeless people, and encountered a "piglet" on the way, which tried to bite him and he drove away in panic, and then he later finds out the piglet was a human kid from the homeless group, and that group was raising kids to be dehumanized, keeped in cages, and taught to hunt and eat humans. the "piglet" is described as an animal, even though i heard no mentions of physical experimenting in the story that could result in alternating looks. there was also a moment that the man had drove *over* the "piglet" while driving away and it was satisfying. y'know, even though there was no point and he was safe in the car. and it's all painted like "isn't that just scary? isn't that just made up? aren't you glad this is only fictional and that no kids are being turned into animals irl, haha! and even if they were, they're dangerous and need to be killed!" even though OEA exists real. there are real people who were dehumanized, locked in cages, forced to behave like animals and do indescribable things just to survive. it's not fictional, but the narrator uses the watcher's lack of knowledge on the matter just to scare them and push them to demonize the homeless and OEA situations. and when victims speak up, they're seen as a horror story to gawk at, to be doubted. I'm so fucking mad
I FUCKING HATE ANTISHIPPERS THOSE PURIST MORALIST PIECES OF SHIT. they don't care, this is all a lie. they're egoistic fuckers. kids are getting abused tortured trafficked every day, but sure, let's care about drawings more, joke about "checking someone's hard drive", bully someone off the internet. what's the point, will it truly help anyone, will it get anyone rescue from their abusive household? well um, idk! they were a bad person, obviously they deserved it! did they actually abuse anyone? uhhm uhm they were a lolicon. so... no, but who knows! fiction equals reality! fiction equals reality! fiction equals reality! don't read about murder unless you want to become a murderer!
"pro means pro-blematic in proshipper" NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T!!!! WHO EVEN ABBREVIATES IT LIKE THAT
"I don't think this is a valid coping mechanism, because it didn't help me when i tried it" I'll surprise you, but a same thing can affect people differently
"I've met sooo many proshippers and they were all problematic!" я вот🤏🤏 настолько 🤏 близок к тому, чтобы въебать тебя лицом в стену
"ughh why do endos always trigger tag dormancy, it's a normal occurence for systems" some people are... genuinely upset by themes of dormancy, crazy i know... yeah, as a trigger it's common enough that somesys just want to tag it on their comic blog. or maybe they have a friend who's trigger is dormancy, so they want to look out for them idk. why do you care. i am literally so unaffected by that. there are people dying
"who would get triggered by that lmao" i understand your feelings were invalidated as a child, but... you dont have to take it out on random ass people... literally ableism here. do you also roll your eyes and sigh when someone gets triggered by a sight of a coffee or mentions of school. this is not helping your "anti endos are ableist" case... and here I thought people with ptsd would be more sympathetic towards something thats often connected to people with ptsd.
maybe "endos" dont have it as bad, but you certainly do make other trauma survivors uncomfortable by saying no one should get triggered by "normal" things or they're a faker
I always see territorial therians talk about their countryside territory but let's put light on city territories. My territory is a part of my city. Of course people are gonna live here and pass by, they're part of the territory I'm meant to protect.
The way I see it is that if one of my rivals/ennemies put their foot on it, I should get them out. Of course, I'm a civilised citizen so I'm not gonna do that, but they're not gonna leave my sight. Another thing, I'm always terrified when I see them on their territories. In places they have more power than I do. When they're on my territory, I'm not afraid anymore. They're in the wrong and they should leave.
Last but not least, when I've got some friends I wanna meet, we usually go on my territory when I need control or neutral areas (not my territory and not their territory). BUT to go to my den you'll have to be trusted. And I need to trust you entirely to meet you on your territory.
I know most people don't think like that but, trust me, you give me a plan of my city, I can delimitate my territory and my rivals/friends' territories perfectly.
been feeling fucked up today, so I made some flag skins. (I play on Safe server and usually near the spawn!) I'm planning to try making c-ptsd, catgenic and maybe some other origins, if I'll feel up to it.
I haven't put a lot of thought into endo, it was kinda a starter for me (I haven't played PT in years /srs, so maybe I'll re-design endo later). willo and trau have a bit more thought.
for willo— the magician hat, the book, kinda an adventurous and confident look (because willos get shushed away too much). for trau— the "sharp" and ready-to-fight look, the sword, the horns that loom above like trauma, the fin that shows they're still swimming.
my ex male classmates have been in our yard the last few days, to help with building the pool or whatever, and it makes me so fucking disturbed and annoyed. WHY are they here, why are they on my territory. straight up just walking around and creeping me out, even though we mostly had neutral relationship back in school. if I had ears, they'd be pinned back. it also makes me annoyed at myself, because I have this instinctive urge to keep watching them whenever they're here, as if I'd skip something important. either because I see them as an enemy or because I'm so socially deprived that I crave any human connection I can find at the moment, even if that includes watching someone vape and accidentally break a wheelbarrow. they barely even see me through the window, but I want them off my fucking place
on pinterest, got called a gooner, a fag and a grooming victim for knowing that alphas' knots used to last 1± hour or at least 20 mins 💘 love and positivity on planet earth
once again my childhood bully appeared in my dream. I had a cool wheelchair and was riding fast as fuck 🔥 then he appeared, followed me. it's kinda blurry then as he appears... we got into some sewerage (like in TMNT, lol), and we chatted casually and discussed something. (cannot remember for fucks sake! I think it was something important. I remember he was chill and patient but a little gruff, seemed to look out for me the same a way a middle sibling would who's just slightly older than you, and we even bumped shoulders maybe). he felt... weird. like, a little out of place? like he was a different person, not the same as from my childhood, but still mostly similar? huh.
I'm starting to think it's Druxy (factive) appearing in my dreams instead of his source. that'd be more logical, because the guy in the dream acted more like Druxy than how I remember his source. and I literally have not been thinking of (the source) at all. ; yesterday we had two ex classmates working in our yard all day (some stuff with a pool), which, they were from different school, not my childhood one, but one of the guys' names were the same name as the source's main class friend. so maybe that triggered this? I don't know... we never had this happen— as in, having alters appear in *dreams* out of anywhere. it's strange, but doesn't feel bad. it even feels better, I think, because thinking of Druxy's source and how we could've been friends always made me feel grief and depressed, but if this is just Druxy? introject =/= source, and Druxy is a different and kinder person than that fucking guy, so that definitely feels easier.
anti censorship and all, but posting about how you love (writing) non-con and torture without any warnings is still fucked up. 💘 antishippers are right to get upset with that exact thing, because some of y'all really do not care about others. adding “tw sa” or “tw noncon” is easy. not every ao3 reader likes whump or noncon. I thought we were pro respect, shouldn't we respect basic TWs at least 💀
why are aggressive anti-endos surprised when they get harassed, while being an active part of highly argumentative spaces that are built on shared hatred, mockery and dismissing of another group of people. like... yeah, if you post huge deal of misinfo about endos, generalize and point out only bad parts and people of the community, call them invasive species (#racist #dehumanizing) and delusional (#ableist) and child rapists (#what the fuck), while covering your ears and going "ughh what a clown, look at them hoping I'll actually see them as a human" (/hyperbole, though I did see a few people telling pro-endos to kill themselves) whenever someone tries to inform you calmly... of course you'll get some hate too, and this hate might affect you. idk man. what did you expect when going onto discourses? and especially while your mental health is actively bad?? pfft, choose another coping mechanism or you're gonna spiral from there. having trauma won't excuse neither of us. my head hurts 💔 syscourse pisses me off so bad, I can't fuse my thoughts, ugh I forgot my train of thoughts
