The Handicapitator

Aspiring Musician,i like space and pretty things. That includes you! You sultry temptress/cassanova you! ;)

[plasmalogical]

this isnt necessarily good news but i hope we can all agree that if you are attacked by a puma and you kill it with your bare hands it should be socially acceptable to wear the pelt wherever you damn well please

[plasmalogical]

spoken like a future puma victim

[theindependentconservative]

….why didn’t he shoot the mountain lion?

[plasmalogical]

lol what are you, a gun cuck? cant kill a large predator with your own hands?

[zootycoon-archive]

don’t be afraid to get bioluminescent this year

[zootycoon-archive]

i just realized this post would have been marginally funnier if i said “this summer” instead of “this year” because i like the nonsensical implied connection between summer and the ability to chemically fluoresce. sorry everyone i let you down

[pyrlspite]

open rp

“hmm. I have never been to an olive garden before.”

[cybercrimer]

unlimited super salad.

[pyrlspite]

hmm.

unlimited super salad.

[tardigradetheking]

god evening sir my name is benny ill be your wai*

Optimus? I thought you were dead.

[pyrlspite]

benny?

…

you have to let me go, benny.

the crash was 4 years ago.

it wasn’t your fault.

[jo3mm]

Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.

[mudamudapete]

Happy Valentine’s Day! (vampire style!)

[vladtheunfollower]

[getanutg0in]

WHEN IT SCRATCHED IT’S HEAD I LOST IT

[groovygianni]

@sleepytime-moga

[madamewesker]

Oh, that little fat belly

[thehandicapitator]

LET. HIM. CLIMB.THAT. HAT.

[beatlemeat-archive]

can you believe how many species of ducks there are forever i thought there was only brown, white and green duck.

[tavley]

im a fan of this guy personally

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Ruddy duck! that’s my favorite duck!

But please also consider:

Hooded mergansers

[strangehorse]

not talking about muscovies is a Crime

[frigbob]

Can’t beat the long boys

[thehandicapitator]

Don’t forget about this handsome boi! He is a Mandarin Duck

[queermurphys]

girls wearing boxers is such a frickin’ turn on. along with girls wearing beanies. and girls wearing plaid shirts. and girls wearing tank tops. and girls in general.

[bgm05]

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

Looked this up for answers and only found more questions

[c-rowlesblogs]

I tried to do more research and now I, too, only have even more questions.

[thehandicapitator]

[polyglotplatypus]

please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

[negamewtwo]

PLEASE TURN THE SOUND ON

[feralkwe-deactivated20210912]

OH MY GOD

[touchydutchy]

When someone mentions Money

I’m fucking crying at this..Dutch Van Der Creep

[thehandicapitator]

“Did someone say...Tahiti?”

[stimman3000]

youtube.com/watch?v=PZ4pctQMdg4

[acidhues]

Dis dat Ratatooty shit

[siriouslyamusing]

This is so pleasing.

[somewhereinthedetails217]

[roavaswardrobe]

Visit Original Link

[ask-fire-emblem-olivia-deactiva]

THAT IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

[macromothmicroplastic]

?????????????????????????????????????????

?????????????????????????????????????????

[wizardshark]

there is literally no bigger plot twist than seeing the image and then clicking the audio

[meanplastic]

5 year old me chewing on polly pocket accessories

[dividusyliaster]

Mason was curious what I was unwrapping and it was bubblegum, so i let him sniff aND HE REALLY DIDN’T LIKE IT

[dividusyliaster]

D I S G U S T

[straightmansummer]

my spotify algorithm: finally!! I know what music you like!

me: (listens to “Take Me Home, Country Roads” for an hour)

my spotify algorithm:

[catchymemes]

[gingersofficial]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]